Intimacy with wife

[csidelinger]

My wife is not happy that I have decided not to be sexually intimate with her because she has diabetes and has been dealing with a lot of issues such as pain in all of her limbs, loss of feeling in her hands and feet, vision problems. I have concerns that if she were to become pregnant that her current medical condition would worsen and would affect her ability to care for a child. She nearly died with the birth of our third child. I’m not sure how I am supposed to continue to make her happy. She says that we should be able to use condoms during in fertal times, but I don’t agree. I have asked her to look at NFP, but she won’t go.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Did you purchase Patrick Coffin’s book “Sex Au Natural”? Or Simcha Fisher’s “The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning”?

Have you investigated the methods and new tech that is available for NFP?

Sat down with your pastor?

 

[csidelinger]

She won’t go she is very private, if she found out I was in this discussion she would be upset. She believes we should make this decision on our own. She won’t even go to confession, let alone talk to a priest face to face about our intimate relationship.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Then purchase some of the good books on the topic, read them and ask her if she would read them. Go visit your priest on your own.

Pray for your wife, love her and cherish her and let her see how much you do love her.

Does your parish offer a free subscription to Formed.org? If not, I would suggest getting a months subscription to access the content there.

 

[Hoosier-Daddy]

Obviously artificial birth control including condoms is not permitted. Nor should it be. You can speak with a priest and that would be advised. Id make sure the priest is giving you solid Catholic advice and you know ABC is not permitted. Strangers on the internet cannot help you with this and if your wife would be upset with you posting this, then you need to not post things like this.

 

[whatistrue]

As someone who has diabetes, it sounds to me like your wife’s is not being managed very well (unless of course it is like the very rare cases that are essentially random and virtually unmanageable). The first step in my mind would be to get that at least under as good control as possible with sound medical advice and assistance.

 

[Wife.of.Gabriel]

Her physical health is important. You might want to see a doctor to help her reverse her diabetes. Dr. Jason Fung might be able to give a recommendation of a doctor near you who helps patients reverse that disease.

Her emotional health is also important. I understand why you’re making this choice, but perhaps you could do the NFP without her if she’s not willing to go with you to learn. You’d just need to know her cycle to know when marital relations are most likely to end up with pregnancy and when it definitely won’t. Her (name removed by moderator)ut would be helpful. Perhaps it her choice is to not have Any marital relations vs. compromising with you and doing NFP, she might be willing?

Her Spiritual health is the most important. Keep praying for her and continue to offer to take her to the Sacraments. Especially, a healing Mass & Anointing of the Sick. I just recently had the Anointing of the Sick Sacrament and was healed from 2 breast tumors - everything is possible with God! Praying for you both.

 

[NeedANap]

The poster did not specify whether or not his wife had type one or type two diabetes. Type Two can be reversible, Type One cannot. However, I will echo previous posters. She needs to talk to her doctor about managing her condition, it sounds like her diabetes is very out of control.

 

[Wife.of.Gabriel]

The poster did not specify whether or not his wife had type one or type two diabetes. Type Two can be reversible, Type One cannot.

You’re absolutely right. My bad. I guess I assumed Type II since it’s most common.

Yes, hopefully she’ll be willing to see a doctor because it sounds like right now her condition is completely spiraling out of control… Perhaps she’s not seeing any doctor right now for her condition OR she is seeing a doctor but her doctor isn’t giving her sound advice so needs a referral to another doctor who specializes in Diabetes (which ever type she has, I, II or III) OR she is receiving sound advise from her existing doctor but she’s not following that sound advice. We don’t know, but we can certainly pray for her & her husband.