i’m going through a rough stage of adolescence at 15(CRAPPIEST part of my life) and i’m EXTREMELY introverted and i think i’'ll never find anyone. i already know i’m a lost cause to get married. theres no way in hell someone will find me attractive, just because i’m not outgoing, so i’m thinking i’ll be a lay person or something, but i want to get a really good, high paying job when i grow up, cuz i’m really gifted and intelligent. but at the same time i’m struggling with my sexuality, cuz i (do it) every day, cuz of what i just said above… that no one will find me and i’ll be single for the rest of my life. but the hardest part is that i REALLY want to get married, cuz i love women and have the qualities(smarts, looks, masculenity, caring) to be good, Cahtolic father. i also have a really deep voice(i mean REALLY deep)
where any of you guys like this during adolescense?
Sort of. Except for the looks.
Never dated in high school. At all. Always got the “You’re a nice guy,
but…” line.
Dated a woman in University. Six months, mid 80s. Didn’t work out.
Dated a woman in the Army. Three years, mid 90s. Didn’t work out.
Currently with the same woman long-distance since late 90s, full-time since 2004. Working out.
Aside from these three women, I only ever sporadically dated 3 other women that I can think of.
Six in the course of three decades. And found the right one.
Do not lose hope. You’re only 15 – I don’t even think you’re of legal age in most jurisdictions.
Even if you have to wait – like me – till you’re forty – so what? Would you mind if someone told you, hey, money will be tight for a while, but you’ll be a bazillionaire by forty? When the right woman comes along, you’ll know it.
Introversion is not a bad thing. Not everyone is into small talk. Shy people do get married: I know of many in my family who wouldn’t say boo to a goose but are in fulfilling lifelong relationships. If you can develop your good qualities, people may be less likely to see you as “withdrawn” , instead may see you as the “strong, silent type”; “introspective” rather than “introverted”.
Also, “people skills” are just that. Skills. They can be learned. You may never lose your “stage fright”, but it need not cripple you. A man who overcomes and masters his fear is brave; a man who has no fear is an idiot.
I had no friends in school, did not date in high school, was extremely introverted, shy, lonely. Hated meeting new people, was terrified to be among people I didn’t know.
Eventually, I ended up being a military instructor at the national level, teaching soldiers from across Canada everything from communication systems to how to iron a shirt. Big switch.
I still have vicious stage fright. I just adapt and overcome.
As for what you mentioned above, that you “…(do it)…”, I suggest you do your absolute best to stop.
Don’t stay alone in your room. Go outdoors, to the mall, to the library, wherever. Avoid the occasion of sin – which in your case may mean too much solitude. It’s not just that it is a sin – it is – but it is also habit-forming, and the longer you go on the harder it is to stop. It also colours your attitude towards sex and women: the gratification aspect outweighs any unitive, sacramental, or loving aspect.
Also, see a priest. He won’t be shocked. I imagine he’s heard worse, and besides, dealing with sins and sinful people is his stock in trade.
Pray to God, as well. It’s His stock in trade, too.
