Introvert personality

[Joannm]

Hi, I’m an introvert too. I can interact with people at work and socially, and then I need some time to recharge my batteries. I live alone with a cat and this works for me.

The Myers Briggs test really helped me to understand myself. I have taken it 3 times and each time have scored INFJ (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). According to the results, only 1 percent of the population are INFJs.

I was a teacher for a while at a community college and enjoyed that. I taught 3 classes and worked several days a week.

I suggest you check out the book Do What You Are which gives suggestions on finding work that fits your personality.

I am an INFJ too although on the cusp between the J and the P.

 

[Joannm]

One great ministry for introverts is the Church Prayer Line if yours has one. If not, maybe suggest it and get one started! Anyone interested in praying for those in the Church and/or their loved ones gives their name and phone #, and calls are made one to the other down the line when the need arises. Can give a great feeling of doing something good for others!
Peace and God bless.

For me, being involved in a phone chain would be torture. I was part of one but had to drop out because making phone calls caused too much anxiety.

I volunteered in a soup kitchen for awhile. I didn’t really have to interact with the clients, juts smile and prepare and dish out the food.

I have been involved in many kinds of ministry, introverts can do almost any ministry, it is just that the way they do it, or how they process doing it is different.

 

[Mastiff_Eng]

I tend not to believe this rubbish, just consider yourself lucky you do not have any real medical disorder that really affects what you can and cant do.

 

[Kamaduck]

I tend not to believe this rubbish, just consider yourself lucky you do not have any real medical disorder that really affects what you can and cant do.

You don’t believe in introverts? :ehh: How strange. That’s like saying that you don’t believe people have different personalities.

It is not a disability to be introverted, of course. It’s just that we get worn down by different things than extroverts.

 

[Back2Church]

I tend not to believe this rubbish, just consider yourself lucky you do not have any real medical disorder that really affects what you can and cant do.

Believe me, if I, or probabably most if not all introverts out there, could simply stop being introverted by sheer desire and will, it would have happened long ago. To say it’s rubbish simply displays your lack of understanding of it all. “I can’t understand how a person can be like that, therefore I don’t believe in it.”

And how does other people with serious medical disorders have anything bearing on the topic? This isn’t a game of “who has it worst.” I am both an introvert and very thankful that I don’t have some medical disorder that prevents me from doing anything. The last time I was in the E.R. due to extreme pain from a large kidney stone, I could have griped when my wife mentioned her back hurting. But just because my pain was more severe didn’t diminish her own personal experience.

Never let bitterness into your heart! We are all different and all have our own problems. Some are worse, but that doesn’t mean the lesser problems of others should be dismissed as rubbish.

 

[bsf]

Iawoveuooo,

Are you still following this thread?

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”
Mark 9:35 (ESV)

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
**Matthew 25:30-40 **

We are all called to serve. Service takes many forms. I believe it important to understand the GIFTS God has bestowed upon and use them to serve God and man. Developing a true understanding of ourselves can be slow, difficult, painful work. For those of us for whom “introvert” may seem to be an accurate label, why is it that we behave in a manner that may warrant that. Is interior focus intrinsic to our gifts? Or, do we shun greater interaction with others because we are not whole?

Have any introverts found ministries, either through their parishes or elsewhere, that tap into the gifts that we introverts often have? Smaller group or individual teaching, discernment, behind-the-scenes service, and the like?

If you think interacting with primarily only one person at a time would be appropriate for you consider Big Brother/Big Sister mentoring. There are also many volunteer opportunities available for assisting the elderly or infirm. Contact the volunteer coordinator at an assisted living facility. There are many lonely, elderly residents at these facilities that have no visitors from the “outside” but wish they did.

 

[Bklynguy]

I would like to discuss personality types and differences with people who consider themselves introvert or more of an introvert than extrovert.
I am an introvert myself, who has struggled many times to make it extrovert, but it didn’t make me happy ever. I collect my energy from being alone, in silence, reading books, articles, being with my fiancé who is the only person who I can be with feeling energised and not the opposite.
There are some weeks when I’m not able to write and talk to people, they surely feel neglected by me, and many of them neglect me too as a result, which is problematic only because my intention is not to hurt people, but just living my true personality.
I love praying and reading the Bible which most people don’t do on a daily basis, I don’t enjoy talking about most worldly things, and this limits my social interaction.
I don’t mind it at all, I just would like to talk with others who feel similarly, not to feel that something is abnormal in me.
One more thing I’m planning, I would like to be able to work freelance in a few years’ time, to spend as much time with my family as possible, if you can give me any advice on this, that would be very helpful.
I want to ask also if you think there are any signs that should be worrying about being too much of an introvert, like should I force myself to have more social activities when I don’t feel the need for it?
Anyway, I’m a teacher at a secondary school, so during the terms I meet many people a day and I have to interact with them a lot. But this job does not suit my personality at all and I feel burnt out many times.
Thank you for your answers and suggestions in advance! God bless you all.

I’m an introvert too and don’t worry about trying to force yourself to becoming an extrovert as there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being an introvert in the first place. And if you tend to get extroverted people who try to tell you that you should “change” or “lighten up,” tell them to bug off and read this article:

theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/

 

[jmj777]

To my fellow introverts,

God made us this way for a reason. More opportunities for the interior life of prayer and reflection. More opportunities to imitate our Blessed Mother in humility.

God bless!

+JMJ+

 

[iawoveuooo]

I suggest a good book that I am currently reading, Ouiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. It gives a really interesting perspective on introversion. I tested high introvert on the Myers Briggs but I am what is I have heard called an Occupational Extrovert. I can speak to people, and even to very large groups of a few hundred, when I am engaged in my work. But bring me to a party and I am usually a wallflower and can’t begin a conversation with strangers. It’s how we are wired.

Introverts process things differently and relate to people differently. I have come across as being a snob by people who don’t understand introversion. When I sit at a dinner party quietly some people think that because I don’t say much I am looking down at them or reject them. That is the farthest thing from my mind. I just don’t know what to say. I haven’t processed it yet.

That is why I like conversations on the internet, because I have time to formulate what I am going to say.

I found it interesting in this book that there are a lot of famous people who are introverts. Even many actors, who are on stage and screen all the time, are really introverts. So are many priests. Many of the most intelligent people are introverts.

So celebrate who you are. That is how God made you. I think the more you understand introversion you may be able to overcome some of the obstacles.

I heard about the book what I haven’t read it yet, I will surely get it, thank you for your suggestion! Well, my tests come out INFJ too, once INFP came out, but never again. It’s exactly the same for me with Internet conversations, I like writing and thinking about what I’m going to write, it doesn’t have any pressure. I usually don’t have problems with connecting to people, I had to learn it as a teacher I cannot manage in any other way, but I’m exhausted by the end of the day, even if it’s just half day generally, and it’s worse each year unfortunately. I did a test now, when many of you mentioned tests, and now 100 % introvert came out,it was funny even for me. )
I really like who I am, many times I have a childlike perception of things, I would even say most times, and I’m very sensitive, and I consider it as a huge gift from God to have preserved me this way even after growing up. It has some disadvantages, but the benefits are far more.
Yes, I can see that many actors or famous people are introverts too and they are really intelligent. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

Hi, I’m an introvert too. I can interact with people at work and socially, and then I need some time to recharge my batteries. I live alone with a cat and this works for me.

The Myers Briggs test really helped me to understand myself. I have taken it 3 times and each time have scored INFJ (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). According to the results, only 1 percent of the population are INFJs.

I was a teacher for a while at a community college and enjoyed that. I taught 3 classes and worked several days a week.

I suggest you check out the book Do What You Are which gives suggestions on finding work that fits your personality.

Thank you for the book suggestion! I checked the Myerrs Briggs test too, when I tested, I thought it’s quite rare how I am,so it’s really nice to know many other Catholics there who are very similar personality. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I consider myself an introvert. I think I do occasionally hurt people by not talking to them, but I am trying to get better at talking when necessary. I have no problems at all with public speaking and acting, but I’m not good at talking one on one to people that I don’t know. I keep a small group of very close friends. It was harder when I had just started high school, but now my groups understand my personality and can work with me just fine.

I don’t think it’s necessary to force yourself to do more activities just for the sake of talking to people more. You also don’t need to turn yourself into an extrovert. You’re just you, and unless a certain aspect of your personality is causing you problems in your work or personal life, I don’t think you need to change it.

Thank you for your answer, I think the small group of very close friends instead of many friends is very typical of us introverts, and I don’t mind it at all. It’s nice to hear I should not change, thank you for encouraging me.God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I am not an introvert. But I hope you can overcome the feeling that you have to force yourself to be extraverted. You are correct that it will not make you happy.

I want to address the second part of your post, working freelance in a few years. Since you are in secondary ed, here is my suggestion: transition into corporate learning and development. Focus on instructional design, particularly e-learning. There are several good groups on Linked In you should join and follow. There are several good online graduate programs and certificates in Instructional Design. Look at the American Society of Training and Developmen (ASTD) website for more information also.

Or pursue technical writing, also getting a certificate or certification.

These are fields that can use your secondary education background that both have a high number of freelance and work-from-home positions.

Thank you for the information, I haven’t considered or encountered this as an option, it seems to suit my personality and skills, I have checked it on wikipedia and it is interesting. I will definitely check what possibilities are there in training and development, I am interested in it anyway, I just have problem with Maths, I hope not much Math needed for this. It was very helpful, thank you and God bless you.

 

[iawoveuooo]

Yes, yes! All people should read this book, but especially introverts. It gave me such a better understanding and appreciation of my own personality. I’ve also found that with a better understanding of introversion (and myself), I have become better at handling those times when being an introvert is distressing.

Don’t try to be an extrovert. All that will do is bring more anxiety and possible depression. Just learn to be a really good introvert and celebrate it. You can turn being an introvert into a positive thing, and Susan Cain’s book is probably the best place to start.

Thank you for answering and the suggestion! Well, actually, I got anxiety and panic disorder which is quite controlled by now, and I am almost sure it is because of the differences of the outside world and my inner world, which are terribly far from each other. It’s very nice to be encouraged to be happy about my introversion and to celebrate the good sides of it. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I personally feel it’s fine for you to be an introvert - God made us the way we are for a reason! And we’re all very unique with so many different personality traits and our own gifts to share with the world (not necessarily one on one either!). I think the only time severe introversion could become a problem is if you never want to leave your home at all and/or be near other people. But I don’t see that in your post - you seem to be able to interact as often as needed with others, so I would recommend just being who you are and celebrating that!
God’s blessings always.

Thank you for your answer! Now unfortunately I feel that, but it’s tiredness mostly and always temporary, as I like people anyway. I always want to stay at home, and contact only very few people, but I do it when I have to and go out. I don’t think it can be seen on me too much that I’m introvert, mostly it stays inside when I contact people. God bless you too!!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I am very introverted. At one point it made me wonder if I was predestined to Hell, because Christians must forget themselves and love others, whereas introverts are naturally very self-focused; not selfish or self-centered necessarily, but definitely self-focused, and they’re just born that way. I did not understand why God would make me “bad,” on purpose, as if He did not want me to be able to function as a Christian. I have a healthier view of it now; for example, as an introvert, it may be easier for me to enter the Interior Life because I’m naturally oriented toward quiet and the knowledge of things that are inside of me.
It is important to realize that tendencies and personality traits are not sins. As far as your concern that you are hurting other people by not interacting with them as much as you feel that you should, I would say that yes, you should care about their needs which may sometimes involve leaving your comfort level (i.e., return phone calls in a reasonable amount of time even though you hate your phone), but you do not have to try to force yourself to be someone you’re not. False friendships aren’t satisfying. People probably recognize that you are “a quiet person” and they don’t (or shouldn’t) expect you to act like something else. Personally, I’ve discovered that it is physically impossible for me to fool anyone into thinking for a moment that I’m Miss Friendliness and Spunk, so why try?

Thank you for answering and explaining! It’s a very good point what you made with hell, it has similarly happened to me too many times, that is why I feel guilty, because I felt selfish many times before stopping to force myself to change and embrace my real personality. Also the comfort level is a great point, I tend to like to stay inside my comfort and step out of it only when I really cannot avoid it. You are right and we should always behave as we really are, who don’t like us, why to try to force them anyway with a false picture. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I used to spend so much time wondering what was wrong with me- why I dreaded large gatherings, even with people I loved and wanted to see, why I felt so worn out by meetings at work, why I couldn’t think quickly on my feet…people always said “you’re so quiet” as if it was a really bad thing. It bothered me when class participation was such a large part of a grade, because I had a lot to say, I just didn’t think of things as quickly as the conversation moved. Like you, I get my energy from retreating. I am easily overstimulated.

I second the book suggestion for Ouiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, and if you haven’t read The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron I’d suggest that too. Reading books such as these helped me to see that there is a biological basis for how I am, and that it’s okay and a waste of time and emotion trying to be someone I am not.

Most of my family and long-time friends know how I am, and it’s no problem. I think the most challenging aspect of being this way is in the workplace. Like you, I have felt very burnt out all the time at the various jobs I have held. I think the suggestion to find a work from home job is good advice as well- it is much easier to focus on your job when you do not have to worry about the social aspects of the workplace. That being said, if you do end up telecommuting eventually, I’ve found that it’s important to get myself out a few times a week, whether that means lunch with a family member or friend, just sitting in a cafe working, or even shopping. We do need to be around people, and it’s not good for introverts to be paralyzed socially. Even a quick conversation with the teller at the bank, or volunteering for a couple of hours a week can help us to be social without being overwhelmed.

You’re not alone! There are so many of us, just not in the limelight because we prefer to stay out of it.

Thank you for your answer and suggestions! ) I haven’t read the book you mentioned, I will check it out and try to get it, I love reading books anyway. It’s very nice that also your family can accept you as you are and understand it, it’s a blessing for you. For me in family it’s not, but I have a huge gift in my fiancé, the greatest gift of my best friend, actually, who loves me and accepts me always as I am, and he is really wonderful and caring to do it as I know it is very difficult to understand such a complex person as I am. I think you are right that it’s very important to get ourselves out a few times a week minimum, because it’s the healthy way of living and I guess everybody need it. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I’m an introvert too…INFJ (took that test several times the first being when I was 12 and I’ve scored INFJ every time )

I too have had pressure from an extroverted parent to be more outgoing etc …blah blah blah… as I’ve grown older I’ve really grown into my introvert personality. I’m not anti-social but I don’t like big group functions b/c it literally drains me and I end up not enjoying it after a while. Once in a while I’ll go out to something like that (a festival, bar etc) but typically I like to just have a few friends over for dinner and drinks. I also like to go to book stores and coffee houses with my DH (he’s not quite as introverted as I…he;s more in the middle). My DS is an innie also and I’m not going to pressure him to be extroverted but I do want him to try new things b/c I think that is important. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being introverted! I spent a good deal of my childhood feeling like I didn’t fit in…but I honestly love being an innie now! I have several introverted friends and is honestly very nice to have people to talk to about it and who understand what it’s like.

I am a Certified Massage Therapist and I LOVE my job…it is an introvert’s dream job. One on one interaction, still helping others, not feeling mentally fatigued at the end of the day…some interaction with co-workers…lots of time to think…I LOVE it!!!

Innies are unfortunately not valued in western society as much as outies are…however I heard that in Asia, the opposite is true lol!

Thank you for your answer! Exactly the same with parents. ) I think it’s very good to be close to somebody who is in the middle, it works for me too, and it’s amazingly complimenting my personality and keeps it in balance. I think not forcing but also trying to want your son to do new things is the best approach, thank you for sharing it! It’s really very nice to talk about it with people, I can understand myself too a lot more while talking to all of you here, it’s great that so many people cared to answer and share with me, and also I’m really interested how other people live with such personality traits. Well, my fiancé is Asian, Indian, so I guess it’s really true as he values me so much as nobody else has ever done, people in India are genuinely interested in others even if they are different personalities, I think it is because they have such diversity and they have to get used to accepting this diversity, which makes them much more tolerant than Europeans or any other western society. (I’m European)
Thank you and God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

Get the solitude you need but do not become self absorbed. God put us on a planet together, in community.

You are right, God wanted community for us very much, I’m trying that, thank you and God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I am not terribly extroverted, but I do a lot of sales type work…and I find that to be terribly exhausting. After dealing with clients all day, I am mentally beat. I feel like I have to be “on” all day, so by the time I get home, I just don’t have the energy to go out to some sort of church function, or social gathering…I am done. So I can totally understand how being a teacher could be quite a drain on someone who is introverted by nature.

On the flip side, I do think being forced to interact is good for me. I definitely have the tendency to slink into my shell if nothing is forcing me out…and I sort of lose connection with the outside world. Not like becoming a hermit—but more like just being concerned solely with my immediate little world. I think I am a better person when I am not like that…but that is just me.

Thank you for answering! I think your situation is very similar to mine at work. I feel exactly the same things. Exactly what you are saying happens to me, I go into my own world and don’t want to come out from there, only for a very few chosen people, and forcing to do more and also for the other people in the world is a good thing. It was helpful what you said, God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

As a fellow introvert, I want to “fourth” the recommendation for Quiet Power. As was the case with many of you, I allowed societal expectations with regards to what a happy, socially successful person looks like impact my ability to see the strengths in the temperament that God has created in me for way too long. On the spiritual side, I also relate to the feeling of being “bad” because of my introversion upon hearing several “service to others is the way to God”-oriented homilies and after being chastised in some communities for not saying “Praise God!” every two seconds or launching into sermons on the street. It doesn’t help that I come from a culture where extroverted expressions are often thought to be the only signs of a true faith. Meeting new people is still a challenge due to this and there will always be those who won’t accept the quiet person, but getting older has enabled me to shift my focus away from what I thought I was lacking towards how I can use the gifts that I **do **have in order to serve God and others.

One challenge that I have faced is that it can be difficult to find ministries that utilize introverts’ spiritual gifts on the parish level. When calls to service come, they often involve activities such as soup kitchens, handing out food on the street, and visiting elders. While extroverts may brighten someone’s world with a perfectly timed comment in a difficult situation, I know from experience that this is…well, not one of my gifts . Have any introverts found ministries, either through their parishes or elsewhere, that tap into the gifts that we introverts often have? Smaller group or individual teaching, discernment, behind-the-scenes service, and the like?

Thank you for answering! It’s interesting what you said about the connection of introversion and of true faith, unfortunately I experience it too, and actually it should be the opposite and those who find God in silence or humble, even almost unnoticable servive, should be celebrated the most. As I think God loves to show Himself in silence, that should be sought rather in modern society.
I liked your suggestions for community service, but I don’t engage in any. The community is quite far from my place, mostly for this reason and because they would always want me to do things at weekends which I want to spend with the people close to me. It might be wrong, but I’m this way.Anyway, I would want to help in the community during weekdays if it was close to me.
Once I was at a conference, and there was an individual prayer ministry, some nuns and also some individuals, laypeople, talked one-to-one to people who needed prayer, listened to them and then prayed together with them. It was very nice. Also you didn’t have any risk of people knowing who you are, as it was a national event.
God bless you!