Introvert personality

[iawoveuooo]

This chat reminded me of my dear father-in-law who invited me to an evening prayer service at their church. I came in, sat at the back, and was enjoying this quiet time before the service. My fil came early, sat in the front like a keener he was, then spent the time turning around to see who was coming in. Hey George! Hi Cheryl!! Waving, pointing to his watch and laughing. Oh. My. Goodness. He had a conversation with everyone who came in at the back of the church while he was in the front pew. OK, no clue about how to sit still in a pew and be quiet. Gosh, I should have sat at the front and he should have stayed at the door to hug the folks coming in. lol He probably thought I was the odd duck! I do wish I had some of his enthusiasm and he had some of my desire for quiet time.

People energized him, people drain me. I wish that the extroverts would make an effort to see the more quiet folks and help them be included in a conversation. That doesn’t seem to happen often though. lol

I totally see why introvert guys marry the chatty girls. It’s so much easier, the guy can just coast and not have to work so hard. lol

It was a nice story, ) yes, people with a bit different personalities nicely compliment each other and help to keep the balance. I can imagine what would happen if two introverts married. )

 

[iawoveuooo]

Thank you for bringing up this topic about the introverted personality. I think too often in our culture we celebrate and applaud those who are extraverts but somewhat disapprove of introverts which is unfortuante because most introverts are awesome people.You seem to be doing well and having a full life. Introverts can sometimes be drained by phone conversation but promptly using email and texting can keep you in contact with friends and family in a good way and keep procrastination at bay.

Thank you for answering! Yes, I don’t like phone conversations too because they drain me, they have the pressure of answering immediately in the best possible way. I like thinking first, before answering and many people don’t wait for that. Email and texting are much better really. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. The majority of people are extraverts, which makes it difficult for an introvert in this society. As long as you have some social skills, it doesn’t matter how much you socialize.
I am an introvert also. When I was younger, I was called shy, snobby and other things that I wasn’t. Social situations drain me. I prefer interacting with one person at a time, or just a few. I am also very sensitive in a physical way, which may be part of this whole thing - I don’t know if other introverts are this way too. For example, I used to be able to tell the outside temperature within 2 degrees just by walking out the door without hearing a weather report first. I hear sirens in the distance when the dogs do. Once I verified at a science museum exhibit that tested hearing that I could hear or somehow sense sound beyond what was usual. I could also match colors exactly without taking a sample with me to the store. So, large crowds and noise can be very overwhelming at times.
Also, being an introvert, I can be alone a lot and entertain myself with my imagination or knitting or reading. I’m perfectly fine with this. If I have social contact once or twice a week, it’s all I really need.

Thank you for answering! If you mean prone to illnesses as physically sensitive, it is in moderation for me, I’m not strong enough physically, but I try to do everything to make myself stronger, meaning mostly natural supplements, vitamins, minerals and herbs to help boost my immune system. I don’t know if you meant this. )Crowds and noise are very overwhelming for me too. God bless you!

 

[SecretaryMonday]

I tend not to believe this rubbish…

You don’t believe in introverts?

Its okay, I don’t blame anyone. The camouflage makes us very difficult to see, especially in low light, and we are naturally odorless to discourage predators. If you accidentally find one on the ground, please don’t touch.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

I’m an introvert, I think, but a really weird kind of introvert. I take great pleasure in interacting with people, it’s just that it tires me very quickly. Plus, once you get me going in a conversation, I don’t know when to shut up. Also, I love giving speeches and toasts, on those rare occasions where it is socially acceptable to do so.

I think it’s tough for extroverts to understand us. They take their energy from interaction, we take it from isolation.

 

[Mimi20]

I’m an introvert, I think, but a really weird kind of introvert. I take great pleasure in interacting with people, it’s just that it tires me very quickly. Plus, once you get me going in a conversation, I don’t know when to shut up. Also, I love giving speeches and toasts, on those rare occasions where it is socially acceptable to do so.

I think it’s tough for extroverts to understand us. They take their energy from interaction, we take it from isolation.

You’re possibly closest to being ambiverted than most.

 

[iawoveuooo]

Another introvert here. Welcome to the club!
(+1 more recommendation for the book Quiet. I really enjoyed it.)

If there’s anything I clearly remember growing up it’s the comments about how quiet I was in contrast to most everyone else. So many cracks to the effect, “We couldn’t get her to stop talking!” (Sarcastically spoken of course). Even when you’re young you can always pick up the underlying connotation of how that sways away from the ‘norm’ or when it’s meant in a disparaging way. I never took any those comments personally. To me, If anything, it was everyone else who were the odd ones. When I was young I was once called ‘serious’ by another person my age; it was not meant as a compliment. I was actually slightly offended! The only response I could come up with at the time was, “I"m not serious! I’m not that talkative but serious is not the right word.”
I take a good while to warm up to people in general, but anyone who truly knows me would describe me differently.

I never did make much of an effort to ‘change’ myself growing up in the sense of attempting to be an extravert. I fully knew that was not my natural inclination. I don’t garner any energy from talking to people or menial conversation. I also become overly stimulated easily and have a slower reaction time during talkative interactions. Lately I have fortunately become much better in coping with highly social situations.
It has taken a lot of practice but I’ve grown to be comfortable enough in a crowded room. Or at least occupy myself helping behind the scenes. The greatest excuse any introvert can use to be away from having to talk to people you don’t know!

Learn to embrace your introverted self! It’s one of the greatest favors you can do. Don’t force being social if you don’t feel the need. If, in the deepest part of yourself, you feel the need to stretch your boundaries every so often, do challenge yourself and act upon it. Occasionally I surprise myself by not coming home drained from certain situations as often as I expected to, and even enjoy outings I would have otherwise missed!

Thank you for your answer and explaining! I’m sorry I’m answering only now, I started in the morning but didn’t have time to finish, so going on. ) It’s so good that you didn’t take these comments you got personally, unfortunately I did, I thought so many times that something is wrong with me, but finally I realised nothing was wrong.Once I was called old-school and it was not a compliment either. )
It’s strange that I studied psychology back at college and I should have understood a lot more. I didn’t get it at that time, even if psychology was one of my favorite subjects. It’s very interesting what you said, that sometimes you don’t come home drained from some situations, I have experienced it too, and it happens always with naturally acting people. Those who overact and are not natural drain me the most. I’m a natural person, I don’t really care what others think of me, I like living life and its emotions to the fullest. I also have a slower reaction, mostly I think of things having said so much that I take time to answer, but by that time many others answered,I don’t mind that, I can learn a lot meanwhile from just listening.
Thank you and God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

Iawoveuooo,

Are you still following this thread?

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”
Mark 9:35 (ESV)

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
**Matthew 25:30-40 **

We are all called to serve. Service takes many forms. I believe it important to understand the GIFTS God has bestowed upon and use them to serve God and man. Developing a true understanding of ourselves can be slow, difficult, painful work. For those of us for whom “introvert” may seem to be an accurate label, why is it that we behave in a manner that may warrant that. Is interior focus intrinsic to our gifts? Or, do we shun greater interaction with others because we are not whole?

If you think interacting with primarily only one person at a time would be appropriate for you consider Big Brother/Big Sister mentoring. There are also many volunteer opportunities available for assisting the elderly or infirm. Contact the volunteer coordinator at an assisted living facility. There are many lonely, elderly residents at these facilities that have no visitors from the “outside” but wish they did.

Of course I’m following it, I asked because I was interested in the answers, and I’m sorry I cannot address your posts immediately but I don’t have time every day to read this forum and answer. Also, as you could see, I’m trying to answer everybody, and it takes time for me if I want to address posts valuably.
Thank you for your answer and suggestions, I think your suggestions are very nice, and God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I’m an introvert too and don’t worry about trying to force yourself to becoming an extrovert as there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being an introvert in the first place. And if you tend to get extroverted people who try to tell you that you should “change” or “lighten up,” tell them to bug off and read this article:

theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/

It’s a very nice article, I just read it, thank you for sharing! It contains a lot of truth about introversion and extroversion, it was very useful. Honestly, I tend to avoid those people who have done it to me, maybe it’s wrong, but can’t get myself to talk to them. They don’t want to understand just to give some ‘good advice’, and whatever is good for them, should be good for you too. And it’s not.
You are right, we must not listen to such things. God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

To my fellow introverts,

God made us this way for a reason. More opportunities for the interior life of prayer and reflection. More opportunities to imitate our Blessed Mother in humility.

God bless!

+JMJ+

It’s very true, I value so much in this personality that I tend to reflect a lot in silence which makes me connect to God easily in that reflection, so it’s great. Thank you and God bless you!

 

[iawoveuooo]

I’m an introvert, I think, but a really weird kind of introvert. I take great pleasure in interacting with people, it’s just that it tires me very quickly. Plus, once you get me going in a conversation, I don’t know when to shut up. Also, I love giving speeches and toasts, on those rare occasions where it is socially acceptable to do so.

I think it’s tough for extroverts to understand us. They take their energy from interaction, we take it from isolation.

Yes, our natures are very different, I suggest you read that article I got before, it was nice and I think we should get that book too suggested by many kind people here, and read it. ) Thank you, God bless you!

 

[bsf]

Of course I’m following it, I asked because I was interested in the answers, and I’m sorry I cannot address your posts immediately but I don’t have time every day to read this forum and answer. Also, as you could see, I’m trying to answer everybody, and it takes time for me if I want to address posts valuably.
Thank you for your answer and suggestions, I think your suggestions are very nice, and God bless you!

Often, someone will start a post and then responders seem to get all caught up in discussions amongst themselves. The OP stops responding after a while, maybe after reading all he/she needs, yet the responders continue to post as if the OP is still paying attention. I just wanted to make certain you were still following. I was not being critical. You have no obligation to reply to anyone.

Anyhow, I really did not have much in the way of answers for you. The questions I asked you though are those I am also trying to answer for myself. Good luck.

 

[iawoveuooo]

Often, someone will start a post and then responders seem to get all caught up in discussions amongst themselves. The OP stops responding after a while, maybe after reading all he/she needs, yet the responders continue to post as if the OP is still paying attention. I just wanted to make certain you were still following. I was not being critical. You have no obligation to reply to anyone.

Anyhow, I really did not have much in the way of answers for you. The questions I asked you though are those I am also trying to answer for myself. Good luck.

No problem at all, I didn’t take it as a criticism, don’t worry. I apologise for answering only now, I did not have time to do it before. Everything is useful, all advice, also yours, thank you for writing! I wish the same to you and God bless you!

 

[Godconvertedme]

Many posts here have suggested reading this book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I’m only a couple chapters into this book and it’s been a huge blessing. Thank you to everyone that has suggested it.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

I am an introvert, too. I prefer just being with my husband and the dog, or one on one communication. I do not do well in crowds (like concerts, etc.). I have gone to concerts and like the music and seeing the musicians, but the crowd part makes me very anxious. Going to Mass with my RC husband sometimes makes me uncomfortable/anxious, since there must be at least 100 people that go to the same service we go to. I don’t go up for Communion (obviously), so I am in one spot until I have to let out the people sitting in the same pew who are going up for Communion.

I do much better with emails than spoken communication. I can communicate and still have my space. I like to read or watch DVDs (we do not have cable or satellite TV).

I have tried to be an extrovert and it doesn’t work for me. It caused me more stress.

Going out with a small (6 people or so) of people that I know well I am okay with. Any group bigger than that and I get uncomfortable.

 

[Godconvertedme]

I am an introvert, too. I prefer just being with my husband and the dog, or one on one communication. I do not do well in crowds (like concerts, etc.). I have gone to concerts and like the music and seeing the musicians, but the crowd part makes me very anxious. Going to Mass with my RC husband sometimes makes me uncomfortable/anxious, since there must be at least 100 people that go to the same service we go to. I don’t go up for Communion (obviously), so I am in one spot until I have to let out the people sitting in the same pew who are going up for Communion.

I do much better with emails than spoken communication. I can communicate and still have my space. I like to read or watch DVDs (we do not have cable or satellite TV).

I have tried to be an extrovert and it doesn’t work for me. It caused me more stress.

Going out with a small (6 people or so) of people that I know well I am okay with. Any group bigger than that and I get uncomfortable.

 

[Godconvertedme]

I am an introvert, too. I prefer just being with my husband and the dog, or one on one communication. I do not do well in crowds (like concerts, etc.). I have gone to concerts and like the music and seeing the musicians, but the crowd part makes me very anxious. Going to Mass with my RC husband sometimes makes me uncomfortable/anxious, since there must be at least 100 people that go to the same service we go to. I don’t go up for Communion (obviously), so I am in one spot until I have to let out the people sitting in the same pew who are going up for Communion.

I do much better with emails than spoken communication. I can communicate and still have my space. I like to read or watch DVDs (we do not have cable or satellite TV).

I have tried to be an extrovert and it doesn’t work for me. It caused me more stress.

Going out with a small (6 people or so) of people that I know well I am okay with. Any group bigger than that and I get uncomfortable.

As an introvert and a convert to RC, I understand the uncomfortableness of Communion. I would suggest, just follow your husband, cross your arms over your chest, keep your mouth closed and head down, receive a blessing, preferably from the Priest or Deacon and return to your seat with everyone else. Better yet, convert and receive Communion. I know how hard this last step is, I have made it. I walked away from the Protestantism of my entire family for the love of the deep Truth I found in RC. I made it with much fear and trembling. God has provided me with everything I needed to overcome all typical Protestant hang ups, Mary, Saints, Eucharist. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find. With much Love for my fellow introvert and my fellow Protestant sister in Christ, I send this response. Please know I’m praying for you. God Bless

Also, I have found RC to be a better match for introverts, then the typical Protestant church that relies heavily on the charisma of its extroverted leaders. RC, I have found, is more introverted, in a sense.

 

[Hideyplace]

One challenge that I have faced is that it can be difficult to find ministries that utilize introverts’ spiritual gifts on the parish level. When calls to service come, they often involve activities such as soup kitchens, handing out food on the street, and visiting elders. While extroverts may brighten someone’s world with a perfectly timed comment in a difficult situation, I know from experience that this is…well, not one of my gifts . Have any introverts found ministries, either through their parishes or elsewhere, that tap into the gifts that we introverts often have? Smaller group or individual teaching, discernment, behind-the-scenes service, and the like?

At our church, I volunteer in the “slides” ministry. This involves working quietly in the A/V room in the presence of 1 or 2 church employees (who are also working quietly) during Mass.

 

[Godconvertedme]

One challenge that I have faced is that it can be difficult to find ministries that utilize introverts’ spiritual gifts on the parish level. When calls to service come, they often involve activities such as soup kitchens, handing out food on the street, and visiting elders. While extroverts may brighten someone’s world with a perfectly timed comment in a difficult situation, I know from experience that this is…well, not one of my gifts . Have any introverts found ministries, either through their parishes or elsewhere, that tap into the gifts that we introverts often have? Smaller group or individual teaching, discernment, behind-the-scenes service, and the like?

At our church, I volunteer in the “slides” ministry. This involves working quietly in the A/V room in the presence of 1 or 2 church employees (who are also working quietly) during Mass.

I will start off by saying, I’m a convert, I haven’t actually been involved in any ministries since becoming a Catholic. I was in a children’s ministry, once for a short while, before God pulled me along to another church.

I would assume visiting the home bound, sick, hospital patients, prisons, homeless, would all be good for an introvert. Anything that lead to one on one time between the minister and the person being helped. Counseling unwed mothers, big brothers, big sisters, and so on. You might skip your parishes ministry fair and look into opportunities on your own. Hope I helped.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

As an introvert and a convert to RC, I understand the uncomfortableness of Communion. I would suggest, just follow your husband, cross your arms over your chest, keep your mouth closed and head down, receive a blessing, preferably from the Priest or Deacon and return to your seat with everyone else. Better yet, convert and receive Communion. I know how hard this last step is, I have made it. I walked away from the Protestantism of my entire family for the love of the deep Truth I found in RC. I made it with much fear and trembling. God has provided me with everything I needed to overcome all typical Protestant hang ups, Mary, Saints, Eucharist. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find. With much Love for my fellow introvert and my fellow Protestant sister in Christ, I send this response. Please know I’m praying for you. God Bless

Also, I have found RC to be a better match for introverts, then the typical Protestant church that relies heavily on the charisma of its extroverted leaders. RC, I have found, is more introverted, in a sense.

I am fine with not being able to receive Communion at the Catholic church I attend. I am not looking to convert to Catholicism. Thanks for your prayers.