Intrusive Thoughts and Hopelessness

[Eaglejet23]

Hello, so I have recently been having these thoughts that I don’t desire to have. These thoughts are about the unforgivable sin, and I not sure if I’ve committed it. Sometimes these thoughts just appear randomly, and other times they come to mind because I reading something about God, and I can’t help but remember Matthew 12:31. Matthew 12:31 (ESV): 31 “Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.” I can’t workout without having these thoughts come to mind. I can’t sleep without wrestling with my mind. I can’t even pray in peace with these thoughts tormenting my mind. The only way I dealt with this now and in the past was to counteract the unwanted thoughts with thoughts that rebuked those unwanted thoughts. One side shouting and rebuking the opposition before the other side can say anything. However, this just then becomes a war of the mind, and eventually, I’ll grow tired of the constant banter in my mind. Do I just let these bad thoughts come and go? If I do I feel like I’m committing the unforgiven sin since I’m allowing these thoughts to roam free without any rebuke. I keep reading articles, Protestant and Catholic, all saying I’m not damned, but it doesn’t feel like it. I can’t even write this article without my mind wrestling with each other because if I stop it would feeling like I committed blasphemy against the Spirit.

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so hopeless? Why do these thoughts keeping coming to me?

 

[Lou2U]

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Intrusive thoughts are often due to OCD, so I recommend you talk to a health professional about them. It may also be worth talking to your Priest and asking him for spiritual guidance.

 

[mercyalways]

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so hopeless? Why do these thoughts keeping coming to me?

This sounds so difficult, my heart goes out to you. I ask everyone who reads this thread to pray for your recovery.

Please listen to the suggestions of Lou2U, who thought you might want to talk to a medical professional, and, of course, a priest.

 

[Eaglejet23]

I am very careful to say I have OCD since I never been diagnosed with it. I can’t talk to a Priest since I am not Catholic and I am currently researching the Catholic Church. Even so, it all feels hopeless in a sense when reading the verse.

 

[Episcopalian]

It sounds like you may benefit from looking into anxiety or OCD specific treatment. You’re having intense persistent thoughts disrupting the quality of your life. I’m definitely not a psychologist but it sounds like my layman’s definition of OCD to me.

If you think you need help, below is a hyperlink to the international ocd foundation’s “find help” page. Qualified therapists who can truly help you mitigate your symptoms are listed there:

Again, you may not have that textbook diagnosis for OCD, but treatments for OCD may work to reduce your symptoms, whatever your diagnosis may end up being. If nothing else, a therapist on that site could diagnose you and direct you to the best treatment

https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/

 

[Eaglejet23]

I hear that but I don’t get that from the verse. Sense like any offense will do according to Matthew 12:31.

 

[meltzerboy2]

We cannot make a diagnosis online. It appears you may have OCD and a secondary depression as a result of the OCD. Anxiety disorder and depression often go hand-in-hand. Your best bet, I think, is to talk to a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, and proceed from there.

 

[Lou2U]

I can’t talk to a Priest since I am not Catholic and I am currently researching the Catholic Church.

I’m sure a Priest would only be too happy to talk to you, if you felt able to reach out. In any case, I think it would be best for you to talk to a professional about your intrusive thoughts.

 

[po18guy]

My guess: Anxiety. OCD. “I” would talk to Father and see a doctor.

 

[Annie]

I am sorry you are going through this; it is terrible to have bad intrusive thoughts and it sounds like they are happening a lot to you.

First, I totally agree with the posters above about getting help for this problem. It is a problem you need professional help for, and they can provide good help these days.

Second, in the meantime… you said, “Do I just let these bad thoughts come and go? … I’m allowing these thoughts to roam free without any rebuke.”

The saints recommend to not make a big deal out of bad thoughts and/or temptations, to let them just slide away instead of focusing on them and getting involved even “negatively,” by which I mean you are not giving in to them and accepting them (“positive”), but you are spending resources in fighting them when you shouldn’t be.

Of course, it can be difficult to just let them slide away, and that is when you ask for help by praying. When this happens to me, I pray the Our Father, the Hail Mary (a prayer asking the Mother of Our Lord to pray for us), and the St Michael the Archangel prayer. But others might use other prayers or pray extemporaneously.

When the thoughts begin to intrude, just pray for help until they go away. You will probably have to do this over and over, but the thoughts did diminish for me.

One thing I had to watch out for was that after the thoughts which had been bothering me disappeared, other thoughts showed up! At first I did not recognize them for what they were and started believing them or wondering about them, but then someone suggested they might be similar in nature to my previous bad thoughts, so I started praying again!

There is a book called Light and Peace by Fr Quadruppani in which he says (chapter 2, paragraphs 5 and 6) that we often think that because temptation is bothering us so much that we have fallen into sin, but that is not the case! Only when we assent do we sin.

So remember to not let those thoughts accomplish their aim of distracting and disrupting you, let them slide away, using prayer when you need help.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

 

[Vico]

… I’m allowing these thoughts to roam free without any rebuke.

So you are saying that you enjoy these thoughts and agree with them?

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2091 The first commandment is also concerned with sins against hope, namely, despair and presumption:
By despair, man ceases to hope for his personal salvation from God, for help in attaining it or for the forgiveness of his sins. Despair is contrary to God’s goodness, to his justice - for the Lord is faithful to his promises - and to his mercy.

 

[Eaglejet23]

No, I don’t want these thoughts but I feel wrong to let these dark thoughts roam free?

 

[Vico]

No, I don’t want these thoughts but I feel wrong to let these dark thoughts roam free?

That is a question, so are you wondering if you really let these dark thoughts roam free?

Consider what the Baltimore Catechism states on impure thoughts:

Q. 1318. Are impure thoughts and desires always sins?
A. Impure thoughts and desires are always sins, unless they displease us and we try to banish them.

So these blasphemous thoughts displease you, and you make an effort. Note that the effort to try expresses the will against them. Temptations do not necessarily cease when opposed.

1 Peter 1:5

Who, by the power of God, are kept by faith unto salvation, ready to be revealed in the last time.

1 John 4:4

You are of God, little children, and have overcome him. Because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

1 John 5:8

And there are three that give testimony on earth: the spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three are one.

 

[Eaglejet23]

So these blasphemous thoughts displease you, and you make an effort. Note that the effort to try expresses the will against them. Temptations do not necessarily cease when opposed.

Are there any others of making an effort that isn’t so tiresome on the brain? Like prayer. Do I have to continually fight these thoughts as soon as they come to mind?

 

[Dorothy]

The unforgivable sin is when one believes that God cannot forgive him.

You do not sound like you are saying that!

Please get help about your having to deal with intrusive thoughts.

 

[Vico]

Vico:

So these blasphemous thoughts displease you, and you make an effort. Note that the effort to try expresses the will against them. Temptations do not necessarily cease when opposed.

Are there any others of making an effort that isn’t so tiresome on the brain? Like prayer. Do I have to continually fight these thoughts as soon as they come to mind?

Fight simply means to think of something else.