Invalid Consent at Wedding?

  • Thread starter Thread starter gloraykid
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

gloraykid

Guest
My understanding for a valid marriage (from the Rite of Marriage I believe) is that the priest must obtain consent that
  1. the couples come freely
  2. the couples pledge lifelong union with each other
  3. the couples are open to the blessing of children from God
I just attended a wedding this past weekend, and the priest omitted the 3rd question about being open to children. The priest did not mention children at all.

Was this valid consent?
The couple is in their late 20s/early 30s.
 
Well, the rubber meets the road where the couple really does assent to having children or not, regardless of whether they were asked. They should’ve been asked before the ceremony, in marriage prep.
 
It’s possible that the priest knows that they can’t have children and rather than ask a painful question he eliminated it the way he would if the couple were past child-bearing age.
 
gloraykid said:
My understanding for a valid marriage (from the Rite of Marriage I believe) is that the priest must obtain consent that
  1. the couples come freely
  2. the couples pledge lifelong union with each other
  3. the couples are open to the blessing of children from God
I just attended a wedding this past weekend, and the priest omitted the 3rd question about being open to children. The priest did not mention children at all.

Was this valid consent?
The couple is in their late 20s/early 30s.
Click to expand...
Do you know every single aspect of this couple’s private life? Do you know for a FACT that they are both fertile? Are you absolutely positive that this was/was not addressed in their marriage prep?

With all due respect – mind you own beeswax.

~Liza
 
NE_Catholic said:
I’ve never heard that question asked during the Mass.
Click to expand...
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a Catholic wedding where that question wasn’t asked and most of my friends and relatives are Catholic, so I’ve been to quite a number of Catholic weddings. However, with that being said, I think it is possible that other posters may have already discerned the reason why it wasn’t asked. Maybe that is not so. But, I’m not sure what the OP can do to find out why without being indelicate.
 
SwizzleStick said:
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a Catholic wedding where that question wasn’t asked and most of my friends and relatives are Catholic, so I’ve been to quite a number of Catholic weddings. However, with that being said, I think it is possible that other posters may have already discerned the reason why it wasn’t asked.
Click to expand...
maybe regional or parish?
 
NE_Catholic said:
maybe regional or parish?
Click to expand...
I don’t think so. I think that question is asked at Catholic weddings as a matter of course. But, to respond to your question, it is true that most of the weddings I have attended have been in a specific region (state of Missouri), though in different (6-8 maybe) parishes.
 
SwizzleStick said:
I don’t think so. I think that question is asked at Catholic weddings as a matter of course. But, to respond to your question, it is true that most of the weddings I have attended have been in a specific region (state of Missouri), though in different (6-8 maybe) parishes.
Click to expand...
maybe it was said and I just don’t remember
 
NE_Catholic said:
I’ve never heard that question asked during the Mass.
Click to expand...
Well I don’t know if there is a difference between the wedding ceremony and a convalidation, but we weere asked this question at our convalidation ceremony and my was 68 yo then…😛

Peace
James
 
JRKH said:
Well I don’t know if there is a difference between the wedding ceremony and a convalidation, but we weere asked this question at our convalidation ceremony and my was 68 yo then…😛

Peace
James
Click to expand...
I was asked also at mine
 
gloraykid said:
My understanding for a valid marriage (from the Rite of Marriage I believe) is that the priest must obtain consent that
  1. the couples come freely
  2. the couples pledge lifelong union with each other
  3. the couples are open to the blessing of children from God
I just attended a wedding this past weekend, and the priest omitted the 3rd question about being open to children. The priest did not mention children at all.

Was this valid consent?
The couple is in their late 20s/early 30s.
Click to expand...
Hi gloraykid,

Technically, none of these questions are required for a valid expression of marital consent. The couple is to be asked these things in the course of the Rite but the true expression of consent is when the Parties say “I take you to be my wife/husband…”

As others have noted, there are reasons why this question could be omitted.

Dan
 
Thx to all who replied. I am the original poster. Some people think I’m being “nosy”. The issue is just whether proper form for this glorious sacrament was observed, b/c if not, the couple did NOT receive the sacrament per the Church’s teaching. Validity of the sacraments, i.e. observance to proper form and matter of each and every sacrament is a matter for all us in the body of Christ to be concerned about! I know from the mother of the bride that the couple does want children “someday”. I know the Catholic groom (the bride was protestant) wanted the wedding to be in his (Catholic) church. He obviously wanted the sacrament. Did he get it? My question, whether actually a couple must actually express openess to the gift of life in their vows in order for the CONSENT, the “form” of the sacrament of marriage (the bodies of the man and woman being the “matter”) to be valid, has been answerered variously, but no one has referred me to any authoritative sources. Does anyone have any back up for their answer? Thanks so much!
 
gloraykid said:
Thx to all who replied. I am the original poster. Some people think I’m being “nosy”. The issue is just whether proper form for this glorious sacrament was observed, b/c if not, the couple did NOT receive the sacrament per the Church’s teaching. Validity of the sacraments, i.e. observance to proper form and matter of each and every sacrament is a matter for all us in the body of Christ to be concerned about! I know from the mother of the bride that the couple does want children “someday”. I know the Catholic groom (the bride was protestant) wanted the wedding to be in his (Catholic) church. He obviously wanted the sacrament. Did he get it? My question, whether actually a couple must actually express openess to the gift of life in their vows in order for the CONSENT, the “form” of the sacrament of marriage (the bodies of the man and woman being the “matter”) to be valid, has been answerered variously, but no one has referred me to any authoritative sources. Does anyone have any back up for their answer? Thanks so much!
Click to expand...
I only know about omitting the question if the couple is past child-bearing age or otherwise unable to have children from reading the pastoral notes at the beginning of the Marriage Rite. It’s left up to the priest whether to do so or not.
 
gloraykid said:
My question, whether actually a couple must actually express openess to the gift of life in their vows in order for the CONSENT, the “form” of the sacrament of marriage (the bodies of the man and woman being the “matter”) to be valid, has been answerered variously, but no one has referred me to any authoritative sources. Does anyone have any back up for their answer?
Click to expand...
As “Phemie” noted, the introduction to the Rite of Marriage says: “14. Within the rite of the sacrament of matrimony, the arrangement of its parts may be varied. If it seems more suitable, even the questions before the consent may be omitted as long as the priest asks and receives the consent of the contracting parties.”

“The consent” is exchanged at the moment when the person says “I do” in response to the question or recites some formula that, in essence, says “I do.”

Dan
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top