Invalid convalidation?

[Topogigio]

My husband (non-catholic) and I (catholic) were married 22 years ago in Las Vegas. Once we had settled in Seattle and I found a parish, we had a convalidation. He lied to me and to the priest. I have recently learned that my husband was previously married (in the catholic church) and has two children. Apparently he abandoned them and his wife could never find him. Eventually she got a divorce but did not get the marriage nullified. Is my convalidation invalid? Am I able to receive communion? Should I discontinue being a lector and eucharistic minister? Help!! Topogigio

 

[asia53]

The best person to answer your question is your pastor, make an appointment, and talk to him.

This is a very difficult time for you. My heart aches for you. Please keep praying!

 

[Brendan]

There are a lot of particulars that would need to be discussed with your pastor.

A message board cannot provide you with definitive answers in this matter.

Based off of your initial comments, you cannot be held culpable for being mislead, there is no sin on your part, no scandal in being a lector or EMHC.

My humble recommendation would be to discuss the situation with your pastor before you engage with marital relations with your husband and to follow his guidance,

 

[1ke]

My husband (non-catholic) and I (catholic) were married 22 years ago in Las Vegas. Once we had settled in Seattle and I found a parish, we had a convalidation. He lied to me and to the priest. I have recently learned that my husband was previously married (in the catholic church) and has two children. Apparently he abandoned them and his wife could never find him. Eventually she got a divorce but did not get the marriage nullified. Is my convalidation invalid? Am I able to receive communion? Should I discontinue being a lector and eucharistic minister? Help!! Topogigio

Talk to your priest immediately. He will be able to guide you.

If your husband had an impediment to marriage of a prior bond, then the convalidation would not be valid. However, you do not know for sure that the wife never pursued a decree of nullity. How could he know that if he has had no contact and she could not find him? She could pursue a decree of nullity without him.

So, take a deep breath, and take this one step at a time with your priest.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you, it must be very difficult to uncover such a serious deception.

 

[Topogigio]

Thank you for your advice. I will talk to my pastor as soon as possible.

 

[Aelred_Minor]

You’ve already received the essential advice, to talk to your pastor.

Let me just emphasize that while in my non-professional opinion grounds for an annulment are quite clear in this case (meaning the marriage would never have been valid), the Church does presume a marriage is valid until there is a ruling otherwise.

That means entering into a relationship with another man would presumably be inappropriate until the annulment is granted, if there was any thought of that. It also means that any children conceived in this marriage would be regarded as legitimate, and would continue to be even if an annulment was later granted. Finally, it would presumably mean you can continue receiving communion and serving as lector, though it’s a good idea to bring all this to your pastor, not just the internet.

 

[lizaanne]

Finally, it would presumably mean you can continue receiving communion …

ONLY if she is not having sex with her husband, and is living as “brother and sister”. He is considered married to his first wife until proven otherwise by the Tribunal.

A horrible horrible situation. I pray for all involved that this is resolved very quickly before more damage is done.

~Liza

 

[cradlecatholic5]

Dear Topogigio,

I’m saddened you are going through something like this … it must be very disturbing.

I can only add that I’m praying for you and all concerned.

Hugs to you & yours