Invalid marriage with no solution-help!

[scarbar]

I hope this is in the right place and I’ll try to make it short but have a feeling it won’t be.Ok,so I was raised a catholic(cafeteria) and I drifted away from the Church as a teenager.I left my very disfunctional home at the age of 16 and started a new life with my boyfriend who is now my husband.About a year into our relationship,I was far away from home and his family had become my family.I wanted to go back to the Church and be confirmed but of coursr the priest told me I couldn’t because I was living in sin.I briefly considered refraining from sex until we were married but new he would never go for that.I don’t think I even brought it up at the time.About a year later we were quickly and quietly married by a J.P. because I was pregnant.We later joined a lutheran church,even getting my husband to do that was a struggle,as he just can’t be bothered with "religion."I was about 26 and after my third child,I began to struggle with my faith.We had moved a lot,we never went to church,I had become a completely inactive christian and my life showed it.So I prayed a lot and read and thought and it must have been divine intervention that helped me remember the Church.The Church of my youth that I had denied and been completly converted from .Believe me,I had definetly become a protestant.So I returned to the church,completly reconverted ,knowing it to be the true Church of Jesus Christ in a way that no other church is or could ever be.That was about six months ago.I went to confession and have faithfully attended Mass.I was receiving the Eucharist until the fact that my marriage was invalid was brought to my attention.At first my husband seemed willing to do what we had to do to validate our marriage even though he hates the Church.Now I can’t find his baptismal record aven though he was definetly baptized.I guess baptists don’t keep records like we do.Now he is unwilling to be baptized again if it is deemed necessary.He says he would rather say he is an unbaptised person and stay that way.I am anxious to be in good standing with the Church.I fear I will fall away without the faithful reception of the Blessed Sacrament.I believe and have been told the Eucharist is a most (name removed by moderator)ortant sustanence for a Catholic.I am very upset with my husband for being so willing to deny Christ( although it does seem to cause him some discomfort)He just will not subject himself to the rules of the Church he says is stupid and ridiculous.Not even for my sake.He wants me to go back to the lutheran church even though I told him I cannot for the sake of my soul,I’ve alraedy defected once out of ignorance,I will not do it again.I will die in bad standing with the true Church rather than leave it.If he rememebers being baptized will the priest even accept him as not being so for the sake of a dispensation?I don’t know.And then what?I don’t know what to do.Help!

 

[kage_ar]

First thing, call your Priest and schedule an appointment to sit down and talk to him. He has helped many people in similar situations make things right with the Church.

In general, your husbands baptismal certificate is not required for a marriage convalidation. When (prayers here, so I don’t say IF) he follows you into the Catholic Church, you can address the baptismal certificate issue.

You will most likely be scheduled to meet with a Priest or Deacon for some counseling before the convalidation, fill out some paperwork and schedule the very simple ceremony.

Prayers and hugs!!!

 

[PhilotheaZ]

First of all, your husband does not need to be Catholic in order for the two of you to be married in the Catholic Church. Many Catholics marry people of different faith (or no faith). It presents some challenges (as you have discovered), but it is still possible to have a good, holy marriage.

Assuming there are no impediments to marriage (for example, neither of you is bound to a previous marriage), and assuming you both have the required intentions regarding marriage (that marriage is permanent, exclusive, and open to life), I see no reason you cannot be married in the Church. It could be a simple ceremony with a priest or deacon and two witnesses, assuming your husband is willing to do this.

If he is unwilling to do this, there is another option. Please read this article catholic.com/thisrock/1995/9504qq.asp about “radical sanation,” a way of having your marriage convalidated in the Church without a ceremony.

You really should talk to your priest about your situation. Every couple’s situation is a little different, and most of us on this forum are not experts. But I believe there should be a solution for you.

May God bless you and give you His guidance as you try to make things right.

 

[1ke]

If the priest wants his baptismal certificate for convalidation and he can’t produce one an affidavit should be sufficient. The Church deals with this all the time, especially in Evangelical type churches where they don’t give certificates.

If he was baptized after the age of reason, his signed statement saying he was baptized at age X in place Y should be enough. If his parents are alive and can also vouch for the baptism so much the better.

 

[puzzleannie]

there is a solution for every marriage situation, because the bishop can in the final instance act for the good of the soul of the Catholic party and get you through this with the proper dispensations for what needs to be dispensed.

Also, you are operating under misinformation. There is no requirement that your husband become Catholic, get baptized again, or that he do anything at all he is unwilling to do.

Please see your priest today and lay out the entire situation for him–you should make an appointment since this will take a while. Give him all the facts, not just bits and pieces and he will guide you. He will give you the course of action that pertains to your case (not anyone else’s) and if he does not know the answer, will direct you to those in the diocese who do.