Invalid wedding question

[Usige]

does anyone realize what i’m saying? he’s been previously married. this is an impediment to another marriage, catholic or not, isn’t it?

Yes, I understand what you are saying. Marriage after divorce is not a a Catholic law, it is God’s law. When we say “well they aren’t Catholic so remarriage rules don’t apply to them” it does question our understanding of what Christ meant by “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

I completely understand your hesitation. Personally I would not feel comfortable attending, but I would simply say that I can’t go without going into the reasons why.

 

[angell1]

Celtic maiden is right. Everyone is telling you to go to the wedding. Maybe you are the one who doesn’t get it. Jesus ate and drank with sinners and the pious skunks of his day scolded him for it. He went among them out of love and concern. He did not scold. Refusing to go on religious grounds makes the Church look bad. Perhaps you’ll invite someone to your own marriage or other life event which takes place in church and one of your guests will refuse to come because he or she finds something morally objectionable about your being Catholic. How will you react? Don’t be so intolerant. Love them. Be gracious. Bring a nice gift.

the difference is, there’s nothing morally objectionable about being cahtolic. how is Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage negated by the fact that they are not christian? Jesus didn’t go around approving of people and their sins. that’s not the same thing as being loving

 

[angell1]

Yes, I understand what you are saying. Marriage after divorce is not a a Catholic law, it is God’s law. When we say “well they aren’t Catholic so remarriage rules don’t apply to them” it does question our understanding of what Christ meant by “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

I completely understand your hesitation. Personally I would not feel comfortable attending, but I would simply say that I can’t go without going into the reasons why.

what concerns me is all the response from people who just say it doesn’t matter. i’m really confused by that

 

[Usige]

what concerns me is all the response from people who just say it doesn’t matter. i’m really confused by that

To be honest, when it comes to divorce and contraception I know way too many Catholics that simply accept it. It seems to be one of the areas where we simply turn a blind eye or shrug it off. I have no problem with those that say you should go for the sake of friendship, but it is sad that some think divorce doesn’t matter for anyone that isn’t Catholic or perhaps Christian.

 

[angell1]

To be honest, when it comes to divorce and contraception I know way too many Catholics that simply accept it. It seems to be one of the areas where we simply turn a blind eye or shrug it off. I have no problem with those that say you should go for the sake of friendship, but it is sad that some think divorce doesn’t matter for anyone that isn’t Catholic or perhaps Christian.

even the marriage tribunal priest said the same thing. is that something to be worried about?

 

[Usige]

even the marriage tribunal priest said the same thing. is that something to be worried about?

To be honest I don’t know if you should be worried. The concern I have is that so many people assume that, if they were Catholic, he would receive an annulment.Too many people seem to assume that a divorce presumes an invalid marriage rather than the positive assertion that all marriages are presumed valid unless proven otherwise.

 

[7armyrugrats]

Of course divorce is a sad situation no matter if a couple is Catholic or atheist or anything else. But how can any of us know whether their marriage was valid or not? The marriage can not go through the annulment process since they are nonCatholics, and that is the only way we can know for sure it was or wasn’t valid. It does us good to assume the best in a situation, not jump to the conclusion that a sin is occurring.

Having been married for many years now, I can tell you that often things that occur in a marriage are not known by anyone except the spouses. We don’t know what led to the divorce and whether that would have been an impediment to a valid marriage or not. Infidelity in itself will not invalidate a marriage, but depending on the circumstances it may be a sign of an impediment that would invalidate it. Alcoholism also may or may not invalidate a marriage. Since the couple is not able to go to the tribunal, the marriage can not be examined. Therefore we must charitably assume the individuals are not being sinful. In all truth, we don’t know if the previous marriage was valid, or if this marriage will be valid either

 

[angell1]

To be honest I don’t know if you should be worried. The concern I have is that so many people assume that, if they were Catholic, he would receive an annulment.Too many people seem to assume that a divorce presumes an invalid marriage rather than the positive assertion that all marriages are presumed valid unless proven otherwise.

i agree, but i meant should i be concerned that the priest who runs the marriage tribunal is saying that it doesn’t apply for noncatholics? would that line of thinking affect decree of nullity procedures?

 

[angell1]

Of course divorce is a sad situation no matter if a couple is Catholic or atheist or anything else. But how can any of us know whether their marriage was valid or not? The marriage can not go through the annulment process since they are nonCatholics, and that is the only way we can know for sure it was or wasn’t valid. It does us good to assume the best in a situation, not jump to the conclusion that a sin is occurring.

Having been married for many years now, I can tell you that often things that occur in a marriage are not known by anyone except the spouses. We don’t know what led to the divorce and whether that would have been an impediment to a valid marriage or not. Infidelity in itself will not invalidate a marriage, but depending on the circumstances it may be a sign of an impediment that would invalidate it. Alcoholism also may or may not invalidate a marriage. Since the couple is not able to go to the tribunal, the marriage can not be examined. Therefore we must charitably assume the individuals are not being sinful. In all truth, we don’t know if the previous marriage was valid, or if this marriage will be valid either

well i do know that he destroyed his first marriage through adultery, i don’t know anything about the time they were married though

 

[Usige]

Of course divorce is a sad situation no matter if a couple is Catholic or atheist or anything else. But how can any of us know whether their marriage was valid or not? The marriage can not go through the annulment process since they are nonCatholics, and that is the only way we can know for sure it was or wasn’t valid. It does us good to assume the best in a situation, not jump to the conclusion that a sin is occurring.

I don’t thinks it’s a question of knowing if his first marriage was invalid, but rather if we should adhere to Church teaching that all marriages are to be presumed valid unless proven otherwise.

Let’s put this is a slightly different context. Lets say you move to a small village in a new country and there is a church that says it’s Catholic, but you notice a number of things that don’t add up. Say the priest randomly chooses readings and perhaps refers to the Virgin Mary in uncomplimentary terms. These things make you question if the priest is truly Catholic. Would it be prudent to receive the Eucharist in that Church if you had doubts about the priest being ordained? Or might it be better to refrain from attending until you know that he is an ordained priest?

 

[phil19034]

even the marriage tribunal priest said the same thing. is that something to be worried about?

I would not worry about the tribunal priest.

I have a question for you. Why do you believe that your friend’s first marriage was valid vs invalid? While Christ does not approve of divorce and remarriage, your friend is not Christian and does not know Christ. Because divorce is allowed in other religions, your friend most likely doesn’t not know he/she is committing sin.

Now on the other hand, a practicing Catholic who divorces and remarries without an annulment should know that they are committing sin. If they truly know and are refusing the teachings Christ and the Church, then that is a grave matter because they know they are doing something wrong and doing it anyway. We must avoid the scandal when a person is “protesting” or being “disobedient” to the Church by marring anyway. In that way, they are “spitting” on the Church and Christ; therefore I would most likely not attend.

(In regards to non-Catholic Christians and uneducated “Catholics,” I tend to cut them a break if they don’t realizing they are sinning. Namely because I was someone who married outside the Church, without dispensation, because I didn’t even know about dispensation. But if they “spit on the Church” then I may consider not attending)

I hope this helps a little.

God Bless

 

[George_Stegmeir]

If you are so concerned about the sinful marital status of your acquaintences why are you friends with them, or is it you just like to argue on the internet?

 

[angell1]

I would not worry about the tribunal priest.

I have a question for you. Why do you believe that your friend’s first marriage was valid vs invalid? While Christ does not approve of divorce and remarriage, your friend is not Christian and does not know Christ. Because divorce is allowed in other religions, your friend most likely doesn’t not know he/she is committing sin.

Now on the other hand, a practicing Catholic who divorces and remarries without an annulment should know that they are committing sin. If they truly know and are refusing the teachings Christ and the Church, then that is a grave matter because they know they are doing something wrong and doing it anyway. We must avoid the scandal when a person is “protesting” or being “disobedient” to the Church by marring anyway. In that way, they are “spitting” on the Church and Christ; therefore I would most likely not attend.

(In regards to non-Catholic Christians and uneducated “Catholics,” I tend to cut them a break if they don’t realizing they are sinning. Namely because I was someone who married outside the Church, without dispensation, because I didn’t even know about dispensation. But if they “spit on the Church” then I may consider not attending)

I hope this helps a little.

God Bless

uyes, this is true. however, it is sitll a sin against God, whether we know it or not. what about a homosexual “wedding”, they don’t usually realize they’re doing anyting wrong either

 

[angell1]

If you are so concerned about the sinful marital status of your acquaintences why are you friends with them, or is it you just like to argue on the internet?

i’m concerned because it involves me and their sins. no, i do not just like to argue on the internet. they are acquaintance from a sports team, if you really want to kmnow

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Your friend is not Christian. You don’t know the circumstances of his first marriage. It is certainly no sin for you to attend this wedding. Attend or not as you wish. It is not a moral issue for you to worry about.

We cannot expect non-Christians to accept the teachings of Christ on divorce and remarriage. We can understand the need to be a Christian witness to those who do not know Christ. Are you a good Christian witness? This is the question we should all ask ourselves.

 

[MaryT777]

The priest is correct. Go and enjoy the wedding!
Mary.

 

[agnes_therese]

i’m concerned because it involves me and their sins. no, i do not just like to argue on the internet. they are acquaintance from a sports team, if you really want to kmnow

Since you’re obviously not going to believe your priest, nor anyone here, maybe it’s best if you don’t go. Your friend thinks a lot of you, and it seems that you wouldn’t be able to hide your disapproval of a non-Christian not following Catholic teaching. Please don’t ruin his wedding for him.