Invitation Wording: Include All Parents' Names on Invites?

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anna99

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My fiance and I have invited nearly 200 guests to our wedding. It will be very modest wedding. Since we currently live with our parents and are working, and our parents have taken care of us since we were born, we wanted to pay for the wedding ourselves. We sent the invitations out a couple weeks ago. I just found out it is a tradition to honor your parents’ by including their name on the invitation. My fiance and I haven’t been to many weddings and we had no idea this was the “normal” thing to do. I would have put my parents’ names’ on the invitation just to honor them. I feel so bad now. They never really said anything about it before and aren’t offended. They just said we aren’t very “Traditional” when in reality we’re focusing on preparing ourselves for a lifelong marriage instead of just the day and the proper etiquette. It’s obviously too late to change the wording now but just wanted to get other peoples opinions!
Thank you!
 
I suggest don’t worry about it. There’s really nothing you can do anymore. If your parents understand that you did not intentionally ommit their names to disrespect them, then that’s what matters.

Why not thank them in your wedding speech, if you’re planning to do that?

One idea is, Instead of thanking your own parents, thank your spouse’s parents for all the sacrifices they made, for raising a wonderful person who you ended up marrying. Something like that…

Best wishes and may God bless you!

Hope this helps.
 
Whoever pays for the wedding has their name at the top as the hosts. For example, when the bride’s parents pay the invite says…

“Mr. And Mrs. John Carl Anderson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Catherine Anne,to Mr. Stuart Daniel Smith.”

If both sets of parents pay, it says…

“Mr. And Mrs. John Carl Anderson And Mr. And Mrs. Joseph Morris Klein request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children…”

If the couple pays, you simply say…

“Miss Catherine Anne Anderson and Mr. Stuart Daniel Smith request the honor of your presence…”

So it seems like you got it right 🙂
 
Nowadays, everyone tends to do things their own way so I don’t even know if there really is only one proper etiquette. However, I would not worry about it. If you did not discuss the wording with your parents before having the invitations printed, I really don’t think they can expect you to read their minds

Angie
 
Actually, my fiance and I made the invitation together on weddingwire and had my dad proof read it. My mom was out shopping so I thought it was simple enough, there were no mistakes, so we just paid and had them printed. The funny thing is my dad never mentioned once how the bride and groom’s parents’ names’ are usually listed on the invitation…
 
anna99 said:
Actually, my fiance and I made the invitation together on weddingwire and had my dad proof read it. My mom was out shopping so I thought it was simple enough, there were no mistakes, so we just paid and had them printed. The funny thing is my dad never mentioned once how the bride and groom’s parents’ names’ are usually listed on the invitation…
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That’s my point. He never mentioned it so he can’t be mad at you now. Your mom can be mad at your dad for not saying anything, but not at you
 
The last wedding I went to, the bride and groom each made a lovely statement of gratitude to their parents on the first page of the program that was given out before the ceremony. I thought that was very classy to aknowledge their parents like that; it’s been a while, but I think they also paid for the wedding themselves and the parents names were omitted from the invitations.
 
JackieMom said:
Whoever pays for the wedding has their name at the top as the hosts. For example, when the bride’s parents pay the invite says…

“Mr. And Mrs. John Carl Anderson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Catherine Anne,to Mr. Stuart Daniel Smith.”

If both sets of parents pay, it says…

“Mr. And Mrs. John Carl Anderson And Mr. And Mrs. Joseph Morris Klein request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children…”

If the couple pays, you simply say…

“Miss Catherine Anne Anderson and Mr. Stuart Daniel Smith request the honor of your presence…”

So it seems like you got it right 🙂
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Not necessarily. My husband & I paid for our wedding, but still went with your first example, because my parents helped us in so many other ways that I wanted this more traditional wording. Personally, word it how you want, & if people don’t like it, too darn bad. The day isn’t about whether or not you worded the invitation “properly”.
 
Your wedding, your call.

Your planning it and paying for it…so whatever works for you is fine.

If anyone wants to be judgmental and make a comment…let them. But don’t let it change your opinion.

My husband and I had quite a bit of clucking going on…especially from his side of the family about how a “traditional wedding” should be.

We reminded everyone over and over that

A) It was a Catholic wedding
and
B) We were paying for it

If they didn’t like it…they could go stuff it.
 
Anna, you are going to have to stop worrying about what other people think.

First, you did nothing improper from an ettiquette standpoint as you and your fiance are the hosts.

Secondly, everyone will have an opinion about EVERYTHING you do. So it is best you learn now to smile and go your own way.
 
1ke said:
Anna, you are going to have to stop worrying about what other people think.

First, you did nothing improper from an ettiquette standpoint as you and your fiance are the hosts.

Secondly, everyone will have an opinion about EVERYTHING you do. So it is best you learn now to smile and go your own way.
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Yep, this. The first line is typically who is “hosting” the wedding, and doesn’t really have anything to do with “honor”. If you sent the invitations out already, I imagine the wedding is soon approaching, so just do your best not to worry about what anyone else thinks.
 
1ke said:
Anna, you are going to have to stop worrying about what other people think.

First, you did nothing improper from an ettiquette standpoint as you and your fiance are the hosts.

Secondly, everyone will have an opinion about EVERYTHING you do. So it is best you learn now to smile and go your own way.
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This is true. Just wait until the babies start coming!

:rolleyes:😛
 
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