I married at 18, my husband was also 18. I thank God everyday that we have been able to grow together over the years and though its been a ton of hard work i wouldnt do it differently. i am 26 with our 5th child on the way. its no walk in the park and i am definately a totally different person now then i was there, him too. :Some how, with Gods help we have not grown a part like so many times happens in marriage.
I am very happy for you that your marriage is working out so beautifully. May God continue to reward your hard work and devotion.
However I would caution those reading to note that you married at 18 and are now 26. That is only 8 years. Plus you are pointing out that it has been “Hard Work” and that, “its no walk in the park…”. With at least 5 children you have a long road ahead of you.
I don’t say this to belittle you, your spouse or your marriage. Only to recognize the limited time frame. You seem to live in the “present moment”, as Mother Angelica describes it, and that is a beautiful thing.
my one argument to waiting is that i know plenty of people that waited till they had “LIVED” and at 40 are splitting up. when you wait you sometimes are too much your own person and never fully become one at heart. Most of the people that are older when they marry are extremely selfish and its hard for them to “die unto one self” in order to give themselves fully to their spouse. Age is relative!
This is very well put.
Unfortunately in my case it was the opposite. I got married too young. I was 18 years and 12 days old on the day of the wedding. While I thought at the time that I was ready, I now know that my character was incompletely formed, and the same can be said of my first wife. While we had a sense of feeling “grown up” and “understood” what marriage is from watching our parents, we didn’t understand in the true and mature sense of the word. We were too caught up in other things (like lust).
After 19 years I/we finally called it quits. We had both quit the church and so there just was nothing more to be done. I remarried - at 38, a wonderful, mature woman (16 years older than me) who fits me and I her as though we were made excusively for each other. We never argue, and rarely even disagree.
Then 5 years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. This last year we were reconciled to the Church, and rely on God’s love and providence to see us through.
Caring for her is now my full time job, and in my spare time it’s my hobby. (That’s what I tell her). She forgets that we are married, but never forgets that I am her special person whom she trusts implicetly.
Sorry for the ramble.
The point is, as you alude to, age is relative but so is maturity. I know people who at 50 years old are still immature boys in their minds. I know youngsters who display wisdome well beyond their years.
I still believe that 17 is too young, and particularly in the case of the OP because of the distances and other factors. They need time for this relationship to mature and for them to discern their true feelings.
Merry Christmas
James
