Is $700 a lot to pay to a Parish to get married?

[mesquite_magic]

where is the dead horse smiley when you need it
as has been stated, here and the dozens of previous threads beating this topic to death, the charge is for use of the parish facilities, not for the sacrament. If you don’t believe the fee charged in your case is appropriate ask the pastor for a breakdown of the charges what they cover. In these days of 5 figure wedding budgets to quibble about covering the parish overhead for use of the facilities is IMO bridezilla in the extreme.

I hadn’t seen it brought up before. I find it an interesting topic. I’ve never heard of a church charging that much.

Our church has a $50 fee and they suggest you pay the priest another $50 for his time. Our musicians set their own fees.

I can’t imagine paying $700, but I only paid around $2000 for my wedding. I’m cheap that way.

Kim

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Now, how long have you been a member of this parish? Are there things you already do in your service to the parish where you could increase your time and negotiate an off-set?

Many parishes operate in the red in terms of weekly operating expenses vs. weekly collection income. Rental of the buildings, be it church halls or the main sanctuary is a reasonably way for the parish to add income.

You’re talking to the OP, not me, right? Because I don’t think my husband wants to get married again, and we did it very simply yet elegantly when we did: Only immediate family, way off-hours, priest friend who wouldn’t take anything (had to force him to take a gift book on his hobby), and off-the-menu reservations at a nice restaurant for the whole wedding group.

 

[Bubble]

where is the dead horse smiley when you need it
as has been stated, here and the dozens of previous threads beating this topic to death, the charge is for use of the parish facilities, not for the sacrament. If you don’t believe the fee charged in your case is appropriate ask the pastor for a breakdown of the charges what they cover. In these days of 5 figure wedding budgets to quibble about covering the parish overhead for use of the facilities is IMO bridezilla in the extreme.

Sorry, I haven’t been here that long so I haven’t seen the other threads.

The fee is reduced for those who can’t afford it, but for everyone else, if they don’t pay, they don’t get married. People can divide up the costs however they want, saying it’s to cover other costs, but the bottom line is that to receive the Sacrament, they couple to be must cough up $700. Last I’ve heard, a traditional Catholic wedding is not allowed to take place outdoors or anywhere other than inside a Catholic church. From what I’ve heard (but I’m not sure on this), a simple ceremony still require the use of the church building. So, the couple is left with no choice, but to pay up or not get married. This is why I equate this situation with being forced to pay money in order to receive a sacrament.

 

[kage_ar]

Sorry, I haven’t been here that long so I haven’t seen the other threads.

The fee is reduced for those who can’t afford it, but for everyone else, if they don’t pay, they don’t get married. People can divide up the costs however they want, saying it’s to cover other costs, but the bottom line is that to receive the Sacrament, they couple to be must cough up $700. Last I’ve heard, a traditional Catholic wedding is not allowed to take place outdoors or anywhere other than inside a Catholic church. From what I’ve heard (but I’m not sure on this), a simple ceremony still require the use of the church building. So, the couple is left with no choice, but to pay up or not get married. This is why I equate this situation with being forced to pay money in order to receive a sacrament.

Call the Parish in question, ask if a simple marriage rite can be preformed Parishioners, either during or just after the daily Mass or one of the scheduled Sunday Masses. Ask what the stipend (if any is).

THAT is a valid Catholic wedding, it requires either a deacon or Priest, the couple and 2 witnesses, and takes only a few minutes. A couple does NOT need a special exclusive Mass/use of the Church and grounds in order to have a valid Catholic marriage.

The Bride does not have to have a white gown and bridesmaids and invitations and a special Mass on Saturday evening to have the Sacrament. You want the bells and whistles, you have to pay to cover the costs.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Call the Parish in question, ask if a simple marriage rite can be preformed Parishioners, either during or just after the daily Mass or one of the scheduled Sunday Masses. Ask what the stipend (if any is).

THAT is a valid Catholic wedding, it requires either a deacon or Priest, the couple and 2 witnesses, and takes only a few minutes. A couple does NOT need a special exclusive Mass/use of the Church and grounds in order to have a valid Catholic marriage.

The Bride does not have to have a white gown and bridesmaids and invitations and a special Mass on Saturday evening to have the Sacrament. You want the bells and whistles, you have to pay to cover the costs.

:clapping:

 

[YADA]

This is a sore spot with me so bear with me please:

I beleive (personal opinion) that a church should only ask what will cover their legitimate expenses for electricity…janitor service etc.

What does a church “charge” for a Baptism? How about a Funeral? Why is it that the Sacrament of Marriage seems fair game to ask for more money? Maybe I’m being unfair here. My sister wanted to get married in her church and they wanted $900 plus she had to be a registered parishioner for two years.

Anyway, maybe I’m wrong here and I’m willing to take the heat if I am…it just seems like the church seems to be in a position where they could be profiting and that seems wrong to me.

Thanks
Monica

And if you wanted to ask for the priest to include the marriage vows in a regular Sunday Mass then you are absolutely corrct. Your guests can come and join the community to worship Jesus and witness your vows…No added costs, really. No extra time…

If however, you want a special mass [or catholic wedding out side of mass] at a special time then you should compensate the parish for the extra expense…which are even mor than outlined in previous posts…

There in liability insurance [which is mor or lss depending upon whether the reception is also being held on parish grounds…if so will alcoholic beverages be consumed?]

Water and sewer [assuming you will want your guests to be able to use the facilities nd not the bushes!]

Clean up after the ceremony…

Electrical for lights, speakers, perhaps air conditioning and/or heating unless these are covered by natural gas [heating oil]

the person who comes to open and close the buildings…and this timme is much longer than the actual wedding…there is the rehearsal, the flower deliveries [a cater if the reception hall is used] the wedding party arrival, picture taking before and after the ceremony adds to the time…

And what of the hosts, sacramental wine, candles…will 150 people be receiving communion?

Are you members of the parish, providing for the financial support of the parish operating expenses and various ministries…?

Where do you and your fiancee attend mass and do you attend mass every Sunday?

In my experience, those who complain most about the cost of weddings are thise who contribute the least in the Sunday collection [and yes, there are those whose dollar amount is not much but the amount is significant to their resources…I am not speaking of the truly poor here…they would probably be getting marrried between masses or at a rgular mass, not whining about compensation for something ‘special’]

$700 equals 5% of an annual salary of $14,000.

One large Starbuck’s specialty coffee each week will cost a person nearly $200 per year…

How much for the dress you will wear once?

How much for the bouquet you will toss?

How much for the honeymoon?

Beginning your life together worshiping Jesus, having the first meal you consume together be the Bread From Heaven, Life Giving Sustenance, the very Body and Blood of Jesus…

***How much is that worth? ***
***Can you place a dollar amount on it? ***
Why would you?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Please let us not discourage newer members from posting or having a lively discussion because the topic is boring or tiresome for regular members.

I have seen many topics brought up repeatedly. Childcare, discipline questions, marriage woes, wedding questions, you name it. If a topic does not interest us we do not have to participate in the discussion. We are people with a common faith so it would stand to reason that similiar topics would come up often.

I personally never get tired of this topic, as I think everybody would have a better time with a smaller ceremony and reception/ party. I think, where possible, people should marry themselves at regularly scheduled parish Masses. I love campaigning for them, and also creativity in the party/ reception (a reception is not necessarily a party).

But a dead horse emoticon would be a hoot!!!

 

[estesbob]

We must be living under the same rock. My husband and I did not have a formal wedding, but had a special Catholic procession after a Sunday mass with a few family members, friends, etc…, after we were married by a JOP. And there was no cost for it.

Did you travel a great distance to go to a church you have may have been in once or twice in your life? Having arrived at you expect them to throw open the church for free because you wanted a destination wedding.?

 

[YADA]

We as Catholics are called to make the Sacraments within a Church…no? How is this a private affair then? Yes, a stipend is appropriate…not $700. Marriage is a sacred union–and churches shouldn’t be looking at it as a money making proposition.

Yes, that is correct…you can get married as a part of the regular Sunday Mass or between masses with your Priest, the witnesses…

I saw the wedding vows added to a regularly scheduled opne to the parish Saturday Evening Mass in Guatemala last January…the regular readings were said, the couple had a small orchestra play [they must have coordinated that with the parish unless they play at every Saturday evening mass!] The wedding quests were given a flower to where to distinguih them from the parishioners and visitors…the priest had the couple comeforward in their beautiful wedding clothes and recite their vows…

It was very lovely…truly a sacrament of the community…

When you desire a seperate mass that is by invitation at a seperate time, the fact that it is in a church does not make it ‘community’ affair…it is a private service…

And what church is “making a profit”? What do you think your parish is doing with the money…obsconding to the Bahamas? Betting on the horses? Buying cocaine?

Your praish is celebrating the Eucharist, taking communion to homebound parishioners and those in the hospitals. They are providing religious formation for the parents of children being baptized, to parents and children receiving first communions and confirmations They support charities directly…

They provide facitlities for all the sacraments and the staff to make thisngs happen…Profit !!!

What does it cost your parish to operate annually?

Do you ever consider that you as a parishioner ar the employers of the parish staff and the owners of the parish facilities…You have fiduciary duty to pay a living wage with benefits for these people who work for you…You have an obligation to maintain the buildings, which means you must meet building codes…

As another poster statd…all of the members of the parish need to participate but not all do. If every parishioner family truly supported their parish with time and finances we would not need to hear about the need to donate dollars or how there are not enough catechists, every parish would have a school with no tuition costs…

Our priests would be establishing committees to look at the social justice issues of our day upon which to focus the largess of volunteers and financial resourcees…

Young people might consider the religious life because they would see the respect and esteem of these positions and the good that they could do…

Instead we pay more in a year for Starbucks and dog food and complain that the church is ‘charging for sacraments’…

Yes these types of complaints really get to me…

What do we come together at Mass for??? We come to receive Jesus…starting married life receiveing the Body and Blood of Jesus…PRICELESS!!!

 

[1ke]

We as Catholics are called to make the Sacraments within a Church…no? How is this a private affair then?

It is a private affair because they want the Church all to themselves on a day when there is no regularly scheduled Mass.

That is why they must pay to use the facilities.

If they want to get married during a regularly scheduled Mass, they could stand up and recite their vows in about 5 minutes (just like a baptism during Mass).
**
But, brides don’t want that. **They want their own special, private Mass with the bridal procession down the aisle, their own special prayers and readings, and their own guest list.

Yes, a stipend is appropriate…not $700.

In your opinion.

Marriage is a sacred union–and churches shouldn’t be looking at it as a money making proposition.

Please provide evidence that they do.

 

[Lucania]

We paid $750.00 to use our Church for our Daughter’s wedding last year. We made payments over a 6 month period. We did not think twice about it. ALOTof people want to get married in our Church because it is so historic, beautiful & it is the only traditional -looking Catholic Church in our Diocese . We paid $150.00 for the Organist, $100.00 for the Soloist & $50.00 for the Wedding Coordinator. We had no flowers, other than the ones always there by Our Lady’s statue, the Altar & Church are so beautiful that no flowers are needed. Our Priest would not accept a check from the Father of the Groom ( as if he needed the break! ). The wedding & reception was not extravagant, but it was beautiful & nice. If we were really strapped, I am sure our Priest would have reduced the fee for the Church, or stretched out the payments for as long as necessary.

 

[mschrank]

Church Rental: $700
Organist: $250
Cantor: $200

Total Cost: $1150

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Church Rental: $700
Organist: $250
Cantor: $200

Total Cost: $1150

Does that include using part of the church for a reception hall? I’m just curious. Our church didn’t have an area available for receptions, but I sure wish it did! Four years ago, our musicians were an additional $200 (a husband/wife team), where both of them sang, while one played the piano.

The cost of things down here in Phoenix isn’t as much as your area, but $1150 sounds pretty good (assuming the rest of the wedding is within the national average of $20k-$30k).

 

[YADA]

Church Rental: $700
Organist: $250
Cantor: $200

Total Cost: $1150

And …

Are you members of the parish? Do you support the parish financially? If you are not mebers of this parish, where do you attend? Why not marry in your home parish? Do you attend mass every Sunday? Do you support your parish financially?

Is that too much in order to have your first meal as a married couple be the Body and Blood of Christ?

How many guests are you having? Will most of them be receiving communion? Is the reception held at the parish or seperately? If seperately how much is that building?

What is the cost of the wedding gown, flowers, reception, honeymoon…?

The cost of the church, organist, cantor…does this also include the marriage prep as indicated by an earlier post?

Context…

It is Jesus in the Eucharist, a Sacrament of Holy Matrimony…Three to Get Married as Bishop Sheen wrote in the book by the same title…

 

[CatholicSam]

where is the dead horse smiley when you need it
as has been stated, here and the dozens of previous threads beating this topic to death, the charge is for use of the parish facilities, not for the sacrament. If you don’t believe the fee charged in your case is appropriate ask the pastor for a breakdown of the charges what they cover. In these days of 5 figure wedding budgets to quibble about covering the parish overhead for use of the facilities is IMO bridezilla in the extreme.

If you’re tired of discussing this topic, just ignore it and don’t waste your time on it, since you must have shared your opinion before

Personally, my reception for 40 guests cost $500. Total wedding including dress, cake, photos, reception, church costs, the whole ordeal was $2000. So I really don’t think “Well everyone’s having an outrageously expensive wedding, so the church should charge an expensive fee” is an appropriate response by the parishes in question. $700 would have been an exorbitant fee for me, and I’d hardly call that “quibbling”.

At my church they wouldn’t let anyone get married there unless they were active members anyway, so we didn’t have people going around “shopping” for churches to have their weddings in. You got married at your church, end of story.

As for the “$700 is nothing compared to the value of having Jesus present at your wedding,” well, neither is a million dollars! All the wealth in the world is worth one Eucharist! Not picking on you Puzzleannie, just throwing in some thoughts.

 

[1ke]

And, I’d like to point out that those who believe the fee at their parish is too high are free to volunteer to serve on their parish council and/or parish finance council. These groups assist the pastor in determining such fees. I served on my parish council.

You can also speak to the parish council in one of their sessions and ask them how they arrived at the fees and give them your (name removed by moderator)ut on them.

Perhaps knowing the costs associated with the parish will help you understand what the fee pays for, and how it was arrived at.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

Total wedding including dress, cake, photos, reception, church costs, the whole ordeal was $2000.

Oh, my gosh, I WISH my wedding was that affordable!!!

Ours was roughly $11k, which was quite frugal for 125 guests in my area, all paid for by DH and me. The cheapest professional photographer I could find was $1100; one was as high as $7k. Can you imagine?!?

I found this website; in my area, it says $31k is the average overall cost, excluding any honeymoon.

costofwedding.com/

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

And, I’d like to point out that those who believe the fee at their parish is too high are free to volunteer to serve on their parish council and/or parish finance council. These groups assist the pastor in determining such fees. I served on my parish council.

You can also speak to the parish council in one of their sessions and ask them how they arrived at the fees and give them your (name removed by moderator)ut on them.

Perhaps knowing the costs associated with the parish will help you understand what the fee pays for, and how it was arrived at.

:yup: :clapping:

 

[Seatuck]

My Fiancee are paying $700 (out of our own pocket of course because the parents think everything Church related should be free because the Church just wants money) to get married in Church.

Does that seem high for a Catholic Church w/ full nuptial Mass?

-Matthew

I think it depends on where the church is and what the cost of living is. On Long Island it wouldn’t be too high.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

This is a general reminder for everyone to participate with charity.