Is a Bachelor's degree essential for a happy marriage?

  • Thread starter Thread starter blueskiesrgs
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
It’s not essential to a happy marriage, but on the other hand, it couldn’t hurt.

What do you and your intended want to do? Once you have that answer, the rest falls into place.

Also realize, once you are married, the Bank of Mom and Dad will probably close, if it hasn’t already. You are going to have to make it on your own, after the marriage, after tenyears, after twenty years…

…So, take it from there. You are old enough, and your fiance is old enough, to make your own collective decision.
 
Brian_C said:
THis stuff about a dated degree is being waay overstated. With most folks getting a batchelors now their degree IS ten years old by the time they get into their 30’s and in management positions. I’ve never yet heard any of my colleagues be told their ten year old degree is dated, and I work with folks in a variety of scientific and technical fields. Now…if my mother, who dropped out in 1966 after a couple years of college to raise a family and take a clerical job were to go back, yes, I suppose her courses in Gregg Shorthand wouldn’t count for much, but for folks such as myself who got their bachelors nine years ago…um, not a hindrance at all in my experience.
Click to expand...
Yes, but have you been consistently working, especially if in the same field, all that time or did you take an extended absence from the “work world” and THEN try to return? If you have a work history, then THAT is what primarily matters to the employer (and your degree is just an added bonus and feather in your hat). For the most part, a bachelors degree is typically little more than a “foot in the door” these days which may help you to get a look when you otherwise wouldn’t but which otherwise is more of a starter for “work papers”, that if not used in a field soon after being accredited isn’t seen as up-to-date with an employer wanting you to go “back to school” and get with the times.
 
My husband has a BS in Molecular Biology. He graduated in 1997, and since he never did much with it, any jobs he applies for have ALL told him his degree is expired.

On top of that he looked at several Physican Assistant programs who told him that they only honor a degree from 7 years after graduation!
 
Like I alluded to before, don’t just plan, be active. Understand your situation that you want to be in – ok SAHM. If you know what you’d like to do for work if you needed to, understand what you need to accomplish in order to jump back in.

As you can see about the talk on a BA, it’s really up in the air if it’s a good idea. Maybe it’ll be the deal breaker for a job, maybe not. If it’s means $25,000 in loans, I think you should be a little more active and smarter to make sure it’s worth it. I doubt you’d want to spend that kind of money on a new car, just to have it sit in the garage for possibly the day you need. If your going to keep the BA in your back pocket in case you need it, you better keep a knowledge about what you need to do in order to get a job. You could also keep in mind if a non-traditional route might be good.

If you take a class a term eventually you’ll get that BA. You get a chance to get away from the kids, make new friends, and be in a completely different environment. It’ll force your husband to be in charge for a bit too for the time your gone, which he might not care for, but appreciate. What you learn, chances are will indirectly help the kids too. They ask a thousand questions, and it’ll give you new ways to present new information. If the class work is too much, hold off the term.
 
I think if your goal is to be a SAHM mom, racking up $25k in loans is not very wise, and could make staying at home with your kids not even an option.

Is there not a state university you could attend that has lower tuition, or perhaps you could plan on attending part time while raising kids? I know too a local private university here has a work study program where if you put in 27 hours a month they will give you one free unit a semester. Some of their work can be done from home, making phone calls. It just seems like there could be options that should be explored.

I do think that there is some value to having a bachelor’s degree, even if staying at home with your kids is your goal. I have two cousins who homeschool, and there is a real difference in the quality of the education being supplied by the one cousin who has a degree vs. her sister who doesn’t.

Another consideration is your employability should something happen to you husband, prolonged unemployment, disablity, or death. It would be nice to have an option of you being able to obtain a decent paying job. I know this is a consideration for me, having been a stay at home mom for 13 years but now being divorced. I’m glad I have my BA degree and only have to go back to school for a teaching credential. My sister got her degree and credential knowing that she really just wanted to be a stay at home mom, and that has been helpful as her husband was unemployed for an extended period after their first was in preschool. My mom went to school part time while raising us, and fortunately for her was nearly finished with her BA when my dad died and she was only 33. You just never know what the future holds.
 
So if you get the degree now and then don’t go to work until 10 or so years from now your degree will be considered dated and no one will hire you anyway. I’m a sahm and I have not worked in almost 8 years. An awful lot changes in that time period!
Click to expand...
I spend a lot of time agreeing with Dulcissima. My two bachelors were thirteen and 11 years old when I was divorced. And they made all the difference between me being able to find a better paying job or not when I was forced to support three children. I had been a SAHM for ten years. Now my degree was a liberal arts one, so it technically is timeless, as opposed to a molecular biology degree, which is a faster-changing field.

No one is being weak or whiny. People have different experiences. At least you can’t say you made your decision without hearing all the different angles. You do have an associates. Is there a reason you can’t delay the marriage ONE year and then plan to finish out the final year after the wedding? Marry in haste, repent at leisure. Trust me on that one. But really, having an extra year to prepare a wedding is a good thing. You don’t know what life will bring you. A bachelors degree tells the employer you could stick with something to the end. That said, there is a lot of innovation going on with on-line studies. That is also an option. Everything you learn will make you a better mother. And a more secure wife when husband goes to work with all those women who have higher degrees. He might not care, but it might start to matter to you.
 
It’s never a bad idea when it comes to education. Education is the key to the future, especially for your future children. Go get your B.A, then think about motherhood. After you do that and then have children, when your kids are big and are full time at school or when they go to college you will have your degree and go back to work. Good Luck! and Congrats!

God Bless,

Gladys

:harp:
 
Having finished my bachelor’s degree up in 2005 and never even considering not finishing a four-year program, I have no idea what’s available to a person with an Associate’s Degree. My suggestion is just to fiddle around on some job search engines (the big ones, probably, like Monster, CareerBuilder, etc.) and see what you could get with what you’ve got now. At that point, you could have some idea, instead of my just talking from my personal experience.
By the way, I struggled to find a career (ANY career) with my BA in English, so it’s totally dependent on where you live and what the job market happens to be like that year (or month, or DAY, even!).
Good luck! 👍
 
dulcissima said:
I do think that there is some value to having a bachelor’s degree, even if staying at home with your kids is your goal. I have two cousins who homeschool, and there is a real difference in the quality of the education being supplied by the one cousin who has a degree vs. her sister who doesn’t.

Another consideration is your employability should something happen to you husband, prolonged unemployment, disablity, or death. It would be nice to have an option of you being able to obtain a decent paying job. I know this is a consideration for me, having been a stay at home mom for 13 years but now being divorced. I’m glad I have my BA degree and only have to go back to school for a teaching credential. My sister got her degree and credential knowing that she really just wanted to be a stay at home mom, and that has been helpful as her husband was unemployed for an extended period after their first was in preschool. My mom went to school part time while raising us, and fortunately for her was nearly finished with her BA when my dad died and she was only 33. You just never know what the future holds.
Click to expand...
I think that something to keep in mind here is that the young lady in question is (or will be) essentially only a scholastic year or so away from a Bachelor’s degree. So it isn’t like if she later had to go back to school, the committment would be a full 4 years. Rather, it would be little more than what she might otherwise have to do to “update” her degree or training, anyway at the time she wanted to enter the workforce, were a degree considered necessary then.

(Nor would, I think, the liklihood of her kids’ education suffer so much from having not fully completed a degree program at this point).
 
chicago said:
I think that something to keep in mind here is that the young lady in question is (or will be) essentially only a scholastic year or so away from a Bachelor’s degree. So it isn’t like if she later had to go back to school, the committment would be a full 4 years. Rather, it would be little more than what she might otherwise have to do to “update” her degree or training, anyway at the time she wanted to enter the workforce, were a degree considered necessary then.

(Nor would, I think, the liklihood of her kids’ education suffer so much from having not fully completed a degree program at this point).
Click to expand...
All the more reason in my opinion to just work on it part time, and not put off marriage and kids.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
I spend a lot of time agreeing with Dulcissima. My two bachelors were thirteen and 11 years old when I was divorced. And they made all the difference between me being able to find a better paying job or not when I was forced to support three children. I had been a SAHM for ten years. Now my degree was a liberal arts one, so it technically is timeless, as opposed to a molecular biology degree, which is a faster-changing field.
Click to expand...
I think that there are a couple of distinct things at play.

One is that many employers will generally not consider someone who does not have a college degree for hire. So, in this more general sense, having a degree (any degree of any age) is a valuable commodity.

However, if a degree is seen more as a ticket to employability in a given field, then failure to use it quickly as a stepping stone to something more may make it ultimately useless in such a field. Work experience in a field will likely prove more imporrant here, in time. Though the degree still might be an essential prerequisite for future work in a particular field. Such would be the case, for example, if one wanted to get “back” into something like teaching or nursing after a period away from such for family rearing.
 
I haven’t had time to read all the responses, but the answer to your title is no, it is not essential to have a Bachelor’s degree for a happy marriage. You can find plenty of strong marriages in which at least one of them don’t have a Bachelor’s degree. With that said, you have to weigh the pros and cons of getting one (debt, time, etc). I had decided not to seek marriage until after I finished my degree, and met my hubby right before my senior year, so it worked out that I finished my degree and married that summer. Also, I had a job that paid for most of my school, so that helped avoid the debt area. I had decided that if for some reason I had to go an extra semester, I would postpone marriage till then (our engagement only lasted 6 months anyways, but it did seem like an eternity). We lived 800+ miles away, though, so if I would have married without finishing school would have been far away from his work. With that said, if postponing wedding is not a good idea, technically a pregnancy lasts 9 months, so even if you do become pregnant, it would not mean it would be impossible to finish your degree. To tell you the truth what worries me is the 25k. It may depend on what your income is and how long it would take to pay off that debt. I don’t think the answer is easy. When I earned my degree I had also done premed, but had decided to only pursue medical school if had not gotten married and had children by then. We had a honeymoon baby, so that solved that. I love being a SAHM. We are very happy we chose to welcome our little blessings from day one in marriage, they have been such a huge blessing for us, and have helped strenghthen our marriage. Sorry, I guess this is all over the place, but I guess what I am saying is that a bachelor’s degree is not essential for a happy marriage, but can be helpful as a safety net. If it was the main breadwinner, it would be a different case. As a SAHM it is a safety net that you need to weigh the pros and cons on to decide whether or not it is what is best for your family.
 
It’s not essential…but it’s prudent to be able to potentially take care of your family, should something happen to your husband. I also think that it’s wise for a woman to work at some point…when the kids are older…even if it’s parttime. I don’t think that to be a woman, means I’m reliant on my husband for everything. Just my thoughts. But essential? No.
 
blueskiesrgs said:
I know that most jobs do require four years of education, however, I have been in the working world for quite a time now, so I at least do have some job experience. We are planning on having me take a few courses at a time to finish my degree because that does see more prudent. People are telling me though that it is impossible to raise a family on a single income and that a Bachelor’s degree is absolutely essential!
Click to expand...
My husband has a degree and I do not. We have 6 kids and we homeschool them. I think we’re immensely happy (except when we both are goofs on a rare occasion 😉 ) We also live in California in the SF Bay Area to boot. So I’d say if we can do it, so can you. We didn’t own our own home right away. We didn’t have a new car until we had been married for 10 years. Some things for which we just had to wait! We’ll probably never have a boat, RV, etc. but we’re happy with what we’ve got.
 
Ok, I didn’t read all the posts, but here’s my two cents…

Ok, do you need a Bachelor’s to have a happy marriage? Hell no!

Will it make you more money to have a Bachelor’s versus Associates? Depends on the field. They offer 2 year programs to become a registered nurse and 4 year programs. Now, you would think that the 4 year nurses get paid more, but they do not! A 2 year nurse makes the SAME wage as me, who busted her butt for 4 years. Now, in some fields, it does matter, so it would depend on what your Associate’s degree is in.

But the bigger question is this: do YOU want a Bachelor’s degree? Do you have a desire for a higher education? If you do not, then I would say save your time and money, because if you don’t truly desire that degree, then it’s that much harder to finish school, which is stressful to begin with. If with an Associate’s you could make decent wage if need be, then let it be if you don’t want any more school. If you would rather have children, listen to your heart!

I dunno, IMHO, i think a college education is over-rated in our society a lot of times, but I got one only b/c I wasn’t married or even dating at the time so I figured I might as well get it while I have the time and money. If I was in your place, an associate’s for me could make good money in medical field as either an RN, LPN, etc.

Just pray on it and listen to your heart without thinking of what the 'rents want…you’ll get your answer :gopray2:
 
The answer to you question is no 🙂

You need to decide what you want to do, my family tried to pressure me in to finishing school before I got married. Also just because your married and not avoiding pregnancy doesn’t mean you’ll get pregnant. It took us 2 years to conceive our first child.

Neither of us have degrees, my husband works in the computer industry where degrees are becoming increasingly unnecessary. We live very comfortably on a single income while I stay at home with the kids. If something happened to him there is enough insurance (term life is dirt cheap) to make sure we’re going to be fine.
 
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. In answer to some of your questions, while getting a BA is still up in the air, I have every intention of continuing to learn the rest of my life. As my future husband is going to be a theology teacher, I know that I need to keep my brain sharp so that I can help him with his work. Also, I do intend to homeschool our children (I was homeschooled myself) and while I know the many challenges that come from this, I also know many of the requirements. I will have an Associates degree in Liberal Arts, which is “timeless.” For both my future husband and I, we have two main reasons why we want to get married before I finish my BA, one is that we just are ready to get married, two is that we don’t want to start our marriage $25K in debt. If I stop school after my Associates, I will be able to pay back all of my student loans before I get married and have a good amount saved up to pay back his loans as well. I have paid for every penny of my education so I am definitely not used to have a Mom and Dad Bank. And further, I grew up in a family of 4 kids with my Dad having a salary of under $20K a year, so I know how to pinch my pennies. That is a little bit more of my background if it helps anyone answer my question better.
 
blueskiesrgs said:
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. In answer to some of your questions, while getting a BA is still up in the air, I have every intention of continuing to learn the rest of my life. As my future husband is going to be a theology teacher, I know that I need to keep my brain sharp so that I can help him with his work. Also, I do intend to homeschool our children (I was homeschooled myself) and while I know the many challenges that come from this, I also know many of the requirements. I will have an Associates degree in Liberal Arts, which is “timeless.” For both my future husband and I, we have two main reasons why we want to get married before I finish my BA, one is that we just are ready to get married, two is that we don’t want to start our marriage $25K in debt. If I stop school after my Associates, I will be able to pay back all of my student loans before I get married and have a good amount saved up to pay back his loans as well. I have paid for every penny of my education so I am definitely not used to have a Mom and Dad Bank. And further, I grew up in a family of 4 kids with my Dad having a salary of under $20K a year, so I know how to pinch my pennies. That is a little bit more of my background if it helps anyone answer my question better.
Click to expand...
I’m getting a paralegal certificate to make a lateral move in my company which will almost double my wage AND most importantly to me, the company will pay for 90% of my future schooling when I am in my new position.

The class costs me $600 & lasts 14 weeks. It is in a field I am dying to get into and the hours will be secretary-ish (8-5 with weekends and holidays off). Furthermore, I am already with this company and my corporate managers support my move.

Maybe you could find something similar in your field of study, then you wouldn’t have debt from school.

Another plus in my mind is that if I do feel later on that I don’t want to continue school or if something happens (special needs baby for example) I will have a pretty solid career job with certification in a field I enjoy.

edit: I just wanted to add that this certification seems similar to the way an RN is to a doctor. Another fulfilling job that can pay enough but without a huge commitment to school.
 
I’d say you need at least an M.A. or M.S. for a happy marriage.
 
blueskiesrgs said:
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your (name removed by moderator)ut. In answer to some of your questions, while getting a BA is still up in the air, I have every intention of continuing to learn the rest of my life. **As my future husband is going to be a theology teacher, I know that I need to keep my brain sharp so that I can help him with his work. **Also, I do intend to homeschool our children (I was homeschooled myself) and while I know the many challenges that come from this, I also know many of the requirements. I will have an Associates degree in Liberal Arts, which is “timeless.” For both my future husband and I, we have two main reasons why we want to get married before I finish my BA, one is that we just are ready to get married, two is that we don’t want to start our marriage $25K in debt. If I stop school after my Associates, I will be able to pay back all of my student loans before I get married and have a good amount saved up to pay back his loans as well. I have paid for every penny of my education so I am definitely not used to have a Mom and Dad Bank. And further, I grew up in a family of 4 kids with my Dad having a salary of under $20K a year, so I know how to pinch my pennies. That is a little bit more of my background if it helps anyone answer my question better.
Click to expand...
Thats good that you know how to budget, because Theology teachers earn under $35,000 a year especially with only a BA. With a masters you could go up to $40,000-$50,000 depending on the school and your experience. I’d tell him to get lots of catechetics experience too!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top