Is a confession invalid if you withhold a mortal sin due to embharasment?

[vistrav]

I was raised catholic, but did not practice for a time. When I began praticing again, I went to confession and confessed some mortal sins but withheld some from embharasment. Some years later, I became aware of the gravity of this and confessed those difficult mortal sins. My question is, do I need to reconfess all the mortal sins I confessed before I knew my error, and has every subsequent confession been invalid since I may still have unforgiven mortal sin?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

vistrav:

I was raised catholic, but did not practice for a time. When I began praticing again, I went to confession and confessed some mortal sins but withheld some from embharasment. Some years later, I became aware of the gravity of this and confessed those difficult mortal sins. My question is, do I need to reconfess all the mortal sins I confessed before I knew my error, and has every subsequent confession been invalid since I may still have unforgiven mortal sin?

I would suggest that you go to Confession and explain what is bothering you and ask for permission to make general confession. Since you may not be able to recall every sin and it’s circumatances from the past.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Br. Rich SFO:

I would suggest that you go to Confession and explain what is bothering you and ask for permission to make general confession. Since you may not be able to recall every sin and it’s circumatances from the past.

I agree with this approach, as well.

Withholding something is considered a sin against the Holy Spirit Himself because while we can fool the confessor, we cannot fool the Holy Spirit. He knows all. He knew it before we did it and he knew it long after we forgot (and He seems to like to remind us of those forgotten things to, which calls us to act on this grace).

Jesus, in his infinite wisdom, knew that profound humility is the best cure for pride, which is often at the core of many things we do. Simply saying “no” to God and “yes” to sin is prideful in itself. Confessing ones sins to a validly ordained priest is a positive act of humility. Humility is a strength in spirituality, not a weakness. Rather it is pride that makes us weak. When i was tempted to omit something from my confession, I knew that it was pride - not wanting to reveal something embarassing. I once confessed this to my pastor once I saw it for what it was.

Jesus was also ever wise in giving us this wonderful sacrament because he had to know that with our weak human nature, part of the change process involves telling someone else. At least with me, I tried to change so many things on my own. It was not until I began regular confession - up to several times monthly, that spiritual progress truly began. Even on matters of virtue alone, when we can think of no mortal sin, confession is a wonderful tool in making God-pleasing changes.

We all feel embarassment. But an act of humility is one of the finest mortifications we can do to strip ourselves of pride. It begins with that trip into the confessional with an honest assessment of what we have done.

Keep in mind, there is almost nothing you can tell a seasoned priest that he hasn’t heard hundreds of times already. Most embarassing sins are sexual in nature and if the priest could have a dime for each confession that involved something of that nature - from lustful thoughts to fornication, adultery, and self-abuse, they could probably solve world hunger. In fact, they’d probably settle for a dime for each and every case of internet porn they hear and increase revenue 100-fold.

The fact that you did not know that it was a sin to withhold sins, likely makes the sin more venial. To commit a mortal sin you need three pieces of criteria:

1. It must involve grave matter.
2. You must be aware that it is grave matter.
3. You must willingly say “yes” to the sin in light of point 1 and 2.

Seems to me by your statement, you were unaware that it was wrong to withhold something. If any one of these three parts is not met, then the sin is venial. But, if grave matter was involved you are obligated to confess it at your earliest opportunity.

Now, if after digging deep you come to realize that you truly did know it was wrong to withhold something, but did so anyway, that is another matter. It is best to resolve this immediately in confession. I would not receive Holy Communion during this time should you come to realize that there was less ignorance than you first believed. I only say this because I myself seem to always seem to enter a denial phase. Then, it seems that sitting in quiet mental prayer or adoration, I finally get more honest with myself. It is not intentional, but more human nature to not want to see it as it is. I don’t know if others are like this, but I have spotted it in myself many times. My “mental confession” morphs into more self-accountability as time goes on. Then, when I do get to confession it comes out more honest. I just bite the bullet and say it like it is.

Even if you forget a sin which has grave matter, it is still forgiven, but you must confess it the next time you go after recalling it. It was still absolved, and you may go to communion, but you need to take it forward next time. I have found this to be a true grace from God. I got purged this past summer of many past sins (when I went to confession only yearly or less). Infrequent confession makes it easy to forget things.

 

[palmas85]

I was taught that if you KNOWINGLY CONCEAL a mortal sin in confession you have in fact committed another sin, and SO are worse off than before you started. While there are times certainly one would be embarrassed over some action or part of their life, remember that the Priest is acting in the role of Christ, not as himself.

And remember the key is KNOWINGLY CONCEAL If you remember something you forgot later, go back and confess again. It’s not a difficult thing to do.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Withholding a mortal sin for ANY reason invalidates the entire confession.

 

[Digitonomy]

I was taught that if you KNOWINGLY CONCEAL a mortal sin in confession you have in fact committed another sin, and SO are worse off than before you started. While there are times certainly one would be embarrassed over some action or part of their life, remember that the Priest is acting in the role of Christ, not as himself.

This has been my understanding, but it raises a question: if one has such embarrassment over a sin that he suddenly realize he cannot confess at that time (say fornication with the priest’s sister), in order to avoid the secondary sin you mentioned is the proper action to simply leave the confessional rather than complete the ceremony? Perhaps then the penitent could go to confession at a distant parish where he would not be as hindered by embarrassment.