HoosierDaddy, I appreciate your perspective, even if I don’t fully agree.
Let me offer some situations to hopefully explain what I’m talking about. These situations are tangentially related, because they deal with making an “integral” confession. Obviously, while none of the priests posting here can get into specifics of the sacrament, perhaps these generalities will help convey what I mean.
Scenario 1: a young man (say mid 20s) comes into confession. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been about a year since my last confession. I get angry with my wife, I’ve seen pornography, I take God’s name in vain. That’s about it.”
What do you as the priest do?
Scenario 2: an elderly woman comes into confession. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since my last confession. I missed my morning and evening prayers about 15 times. I gossiped about 15 times. I failed in charity about 15 times.”
What do you do?
Scenario 3: a middle aged woman comes into confession. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been 35 years since my last confession. I don’t really have any sins to confess, but I just want to receive God’s blessing.”
What do you do?
Scenario 4: (most related to the topic at hand) a middle aged man comes into confession. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been about a month since my last confession. I don’t really have any sins to confess right now, but I’m still feeling guilty for past sins against purity that I’ve confessed.”
What do you do?
These are all things that priests deal with on a regular basis when celebrating the sacrament of reconciliation. We would be given similar scenarios in our confession practicum classes in seminary. And, needless to say, practicing them in class is quite a bit different from dealing with them in the confessional for real.
On the current topic, FWIW, Cardinal Timothy Dolan in his book
Priests for the Third Millenium writes,
We often say more by how we listen than how we speak.
The first time I heard confessions in Italian taught me that. I perhaps understood half of what the penitent was saying, but I listened intently, maybe even harder, since I was trying so much to comprehend. When it was time for me to respond, Lord knows I could hardly say much, probably in very childlike language, then the words of absolution. But the penitent was crying and kissing my hands! I guess I was successful in showing compassion or maybe I had let an ax murderer off with three “Hail Marys”!
Priests for the Third Millennium, pg. 245