Is a married couple allowed to engage in certain sexual practices?

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MattJB

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Such as oral stimulation, (Not oral sex where the sex act is completed outside the vagina, but merely stimulating the area with your mouth as an act of foreplay.)
Also, what about sex toys and stimulating the genital region with the hands/fingers? (again, only as stimulation, not as a means to complete the marital act outside of the possibility of life)
 
Easily the most-asked and most-answered question. There needs to be a sticky and a FAQ for it if you ask me.

YES.
 
Allowed by who ?
The government, the Church, by God’s laws ?
 
MattJB said:
Such as oral stimulation, (Not oral sex where the sex act is completed outside the vagina, but merely stimulating the area with your mouth as an act of foreplay.)
Also, what about sex toys and stimulating the genital region with the hands/fingers? (again, only as stimulation, not as a means to complete the marital act outside of the possibility of life)
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As long as it is FOREplay - BEFORE intercourse, not instead of - yes.

Be wary of articles online disputing this. There is one man in particular who has taken it upon himself to write many articles, many of which disputing the morality of this type of foreplay, but he is not speaking on the Church’s behalf.

Here is a good article for you:
bustedhalo.com/features/what-does-the-church-teach-about-oral-sex
 
1love said:
Touche. Thanks.

I guess the important part is that actual intercourse takes place and the male orgasm does not occur outside of intercourse.
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It should also be noted that spouses can arouse each other outside of the context of immediate foreplay or afterplay provided that neither spouse climaxes (and by extension, that they are willing to complete the marital act if the female climaxes or if the male is about to).
 
devoutchristian said:
It should also be noted that spouses can arouse each other outside of the context of immediate foreplay or afterplay provided that neither spouse climaxes (and by extension, that they are willing to complete the marital act if the female climaxes or if the male is about to).
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My priest told me otherwise…though it is possible that I have misinterpreted your post.
 
1love said:
My priest told me otherwise…though it is possible that I have misinterpreted your post.
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This is a difficult question, though I don’t think so on the matter of whether or not it’s sinful. It’s not. Whether it’s “smart” is a different story. It can lead to all kinds of frustration by both spouses.
 
MattJB said:
Such as oral stimulation, (Not oral sex where the sex act is completed outside the vagina, but merely stimulating the area with your mouth as an act of foreplay.)
Also, what about sex toys and stimulating the genital region with the hands/fingers? (again, only as stimulation, not as a means to complete the marital act outside of the possibility of life)
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Those are all okay and allowed. 🙂
 
1love said:
My priest told me otherwise…though it is possible that I have misinterpreted your post.
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It is permissible for spouses to arouse each other without completing the marital act, provided that neither of them climaxes.
The_Bucket said:
This is a difficult question, though I don’t think so on the matter of whether or not it’s sinful. It’s not. Whether it’s “smart” is a different story. It can lead to all kinds of frustration by both spouses.
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Right. I was speaking to the the morality of the act, not the prudence.
 
devoutchristian said:
It is permissible for spouses to arouse each other without completing the marital act, provided that neither of them climaxes.
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Well, isn’t that nice.

To withhold pleasure from each other. That kinda defeats the loving intentions of the Lord for the two. And, also the procreative aspect/intention.
 
brb3 said:
Well, isn’t that nice.

To withhold pleasure from each other. That kinda defeats the loving intentions of the Lord for the two. And, also the procreative aspect/intention.
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It doesn’t violate the procreative aspect as long as neither climaxes.
 
aemcpa said:
Is it relevant to the procreative aspect whether or not the woman climaxes?
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I assume that brb was claiming that if the spouses aroused each other without finishing the marital act immediately that such would violate the procreative aspect of sex, I was pointing out that as long as neither climaxes it is not required that they finish the marital act immediately.

By immediately I mean in the same “session” so to speak.
 
MattJB,

It is OK to engage in either manual or oral stimulation as long as the husband completes the act in the proper way. The question I’m wondering about is regarding “sex toys.” I don’t have any hard answers for this, but the use of sex toys strikes me as being unnatural. Nobody else in this post mentioned that as an issue, but I would look into that further before assuming it’s OK.
 
Firstly, I’m one of the Catholic faithful that does not believe that Theology of the Body and other Papal documents on married love, condons any version of unnatural intercourse even if it is claimed to be ‘foreplay’.

So it depends what you mean by ‘sex toys’ here. A feather to tickle with or something along those lines is different to an artificial penis used to simulate intercourse in either vagina or anal passage and underminds a critical moment of the unitive in love making. The body, with it’s heightened feelings and desires in that case, is bonding to an inanimate object. The body doesn’t distinguish things in the way our intellect does.

It is painfully evident that when a marriage breaks down, many spouses are shocked that their active and creative bedroom life was not the unitive communion they had thought it to be. ‘Anything goes’ inside the marriage bed is a very destructive lie that’s being perpetrated to the detriment of strong long lasting marriage.
 
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