Is a unity candle permitted in a nuptial liturgy outside Mass?

[Tripps_mom]

My friend’s daughter is marrying a non-Catholic and has agreed to be married in the Church. They will not be having a Mass. As part of his tradition he would like to have a unity candle as part of the celebration. Since they are not having a Mass would this be allowed? It is causing some hurt feelings with the bride-to-be and turning the groom away by not understanding the reason for a “no” from the priest. The couple have seen this at other Catholic weddings (as I have within the past year).

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

The so-called “unity candle” is not part of the Catholic nuptial liturgy, either within Mass or outside of it. Along with other such emblems of unity, it is a wedding-industry fad that has been incorporated into many Christian weddings, Catholic and non-Catholic. Although the groom-to-be may have seen this custom performed in weddings at his church, it is not even a mandatory part of Protestant nuptial liturgies.

The Church usually is fairly lenient about allowing social customs such as the unity candle to be incorporated into Catholic nuptial liturgies; but if a priest says no, that should be respected and the couple should be urged not to become upset about it. (Although I will say that a priest should kindly explain his reasons for saying “no,” especially when dealing with interfaith couples.) Instead they should be encouraged to understand that it is the sacrament of matrimony that signifies their marital unity, and in fact accomplishes what it signifies. If they like, they can light a unity candle at their wedding reception.