Is Adopting An ASEXUAL Lifestyle Morally Acceptable or Wrong

[centurionguard]

Centurion Guard,
I think that the difference between asexuality and Catholic celibacy (chastity is sexual activity in accordance with your state of life) would be intent. Do what you are doing for the love and glory of God, give thanks to Him in all things, offer up whatever pain you experience, and don’t worry about the sex part. If you are single, then you are not *supposed *to have sex, right? So, don’t have sex, and thank God that you do not have this particular struggle. Accept where you are, and don’t worry too much about where to put yourself wrt secular society. Just consider yourself a Catholic single person, not a person who is doing anything other than what is right in the eyes of God.

The asexual information you listed seems to be promoting a sort of community in reaction to the “normal” social view of sex as a recreational activity that all should be engaging in to prove that there is nothing wrong with them. The asexuals seem to be trying to equate their situation as an alternative lifestyle, accepting society’s thinking that engaging in sexual activity is the norm.

For Catholic unmarried people, however, celibacy is the norm. If you accept that, and live in accord with that, then you will not be being “asexual” as an alternative, but being celibate in accordance with God’s will.

My sympathies on your situation, with the trauma from the past and your current health. I hope that you will be able to find a good spiritual director to help you through this, and may I recommend the Devotion to the Sacred Heart (the feast of which is this Friday–June 19th, 2009). (a more contemporary version)(Link to an old book)

Greetings St. Francis;
Thank you for your genuine candor. I have seriously looked at the idea of adopting Chasity in my situation given the traumatic physical torture details of my past.
However; I’m not totally sure how to apply the virtues of abstinence for the sake of God’s kingdom in my situation since I do not have any appetite for sexual relations of the flesh period. As result of having been gang-raped and tortured I am now a Eunuch.
Abstinence from sexual relations doesn’t apply to me since I am physically incapable of having sex. Before my traumatic past I was a heterosexual male. Now I am basically an (“IT”). However; even now I do express genuine love for companionship for women, though many in the Church may misconstrued and prejudge this emotional need as a sexual interest I do not. People in their narrow mindedness always interpret love as being sex which is typical in our promiscuous secular society. Is there something wrong in the Catholic Churches moral theology about genuinely loving a woman with the mutual possibility of getting married without sexual strings attached ? I cannot foresee any moral wrong in this.

For Catholic unmarried people, however, celibacy is the norm. If you accept that, and live in accord with that, then you will not be being “asexual” as an alternative, but being celibate in accordance with God’s will.

What you write here is completely understandable.

 

[AdriannaJean]

Greetings St. Francis;
Thank you for your genuine candor. I have seriously looked at the idea of adopting Chasity in my situation given the traumatic physical torture details of my past.
However; I’m not totally sure how to apply the virtues of abstinence for the sake of God’s kingdom in my situation since I do not have any appetite for sexual relations of the flesh period. As result of having been gang-raped and tortured I am now a Eunuch.
Abstinence from sexual relations doesn’t apply to me since I am physically incapable of having sex. Before my traumatic past I was a heterosexual male. Now I am basically an (“IT”).

I am very sorry that you have gone through this. You will be in my prayers. In a twisted way it is a small blessing that you do not have desires of the flesh. Since you are never able to have sex, perhaps it is better that you do not lust for it. Applying the virtues of abstinence for God’s Kingdom in your case is rather simple. People are attracted to different sins. It is not bad to not worry about the ones that cause you no trouble. Just because you are not actively depriving yourself of something you want does not make you any more or less moral than anyone else. Since you, like all of us, are a fallen human being and have sins that you are prone to, focus on those.

However; even now I do express genuine love for companionship for women, though many in the Church may misconstrued and prejudge this emotional need as a sexual interest I do not. People in their narrow mindedness always interpret love as being sex which is typical in our promiscuous secular society. Is there something wrong in the Catholic Churches moral theology about genuinely loving a woman with the mutual possibility of getting married without sexual strings attached ? I cannot foresee any moral wrong in this.
.

While love and genuine companionship are fabulous and completely morally viable options for you, to my knowledge marriage is not. The way you describe your condition would certainly qualify as “permanent impotence”. The sexual act is required for a marriage relationship. However having close friends that you love and cherish (which is essentially what you would have in the marriage you would be interested in) is completely open to you.

I can’t imagine how hard all of this must be for you. Continue in your good work in suffering with Christ.

 

[TeresaAnn]

TeresaAnn:

I was out of line…sorry.

But the point is valid. I still can’t see how that would effect normal sexual libido. But it would awaken some primitive psyche in me. I was merely suggesting that in these days of morally defunct judicial systems, that administering my own temporal punishment could only lessen the purgatorial time of the guilty.

What do you think.?

Andy

You don’t have to apologize to me Andy, I just felt bad for the OP.

My guess is if you actually had a similar experience, you might see how it could change you. We are all different though. Though your solution may work better for you, I don’t think it works that way, even though you are graciously trying to help those poor guilty guys out

 

[TeresaAnn]

While I agree that AndyF’s comment was insensitive at best, Christ calls us to be charitable even to those who are not charitable themselves.

You are right AdriannaJean, I probably worded my comment poorly. I shouldn’t have judged, like you are judging my comment… where does it ever end? Anyway, I know sticking up for our brothers is also expected.

Sooorry Andy

 

[AdriannaJean]

You are right AdriannaJean, I probably worded my comment poorly. I shouldn’t have judged, like you are judging my comment… where does it ever end? Anyway, I know sticking up for our brothers is also expected.

Hahaha, you’re right and I apologize.

 

[TeresaAnn]

God bless you AdriannaJean! No apology needed

 

[St_Francis]

Greetings St. Francis;
Thank you for your genuine candor. I have seriously looked at the idea of adopting Chasity in my situation given the traumatic physical torture details of my past.
However; I’m not totally sure how to apply the virtues of abstinence for the sake of God’s kingdom in my situation since I do not have any appetite for sexual relations of the flesh period. As result of having been gang-raped and tortured I am now a Eunuch.
Abstinence from sexual relations doesn’t apply to me since I am physically incapable of having sex. Before my traumatic past I was a heterosexual male. Now I am basically an (“IT”). However; even now I do express genuine love for companionship for women, though many in the Church may misconstrued and prejudge this emotional need as a sexual interest I do not. People in their narrow mindedness always interpret love as being sex which is typical in our promiscuous secular society. Is there something wrong in the Catholic Churches moral theology about genuinely loving a woman with the mutual possibility of getting married without sexual strings attached ? I cannot foresee any moral wrong in this.

I am sorry I didn’t grasp all the consequences of this horrific event perpetrated against you.

I think that having women friends is fine, but as a woman myself, I would suggest being somewhat cautious about how you express your friendship with them physically, as they might fall into temptation without your intending that at all. I’m not saying don’t touch them, and there are women who will be very happy in a friendship with you simply because they will feel free to express themselves without worry; I’m just saying be careful.

There have been many saintly friendships between men and women in the Church: St Francis de Sales and St Jane Chantal; St Francis of Assisi and St Clare; and, iirc, St John of the Cross and St Teresa of Avila, all come to mind right off the top of my head.

What you write here is completely understandable.

Hope that helped

 

[MacGregor1991]

Matthew 19:12

because some men are celibate from birth, while some are celibate because they have been made that way by others. Still others are celibate because they have made themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

(International Standard Version 2008)

Other translations use the word “eunuchs” instad of “men” but still show a differance between those “celibate from birth” to those who were “made that way by others” either way jesus didnt say that it was bad or immoral to lead a celibate/asexual lifestyle.