Is all pride sinful, and how can I overcome it?

[seeker_of_God]

I tend to think I have a problem with pride, though when I asked a friend, he didn’t think so.

I’m a pianist, and most people would say that I’m quite accomplished at it. I’ve been playing for 15 years. It is really hard for me to not have pride over this, though. Sometimes I desire to have recognition, though I might not verbalize it.

It’s been a rare occasion that I play something, and not get some significant reaction out of it. I’ve won about 15-20 talent shows growing up. I got into a music school that is well-respected. I won an award in the music school last year for being one of the best at jury (like a final for piano, when one has to play in front of a panel of judges).

I point all that out because, I fear that I continue to seek that. Though I might not go around and say I think I’m the best or am better than other people, I do seek recognition and am jealous if I hear someone playing a piece that seems really difficult.

It really bothers me. I don’t want to think like that, and I know that pride is a grave sin, is it not? I’ve been praying for more humility, but I don’t know what else to do. I want to glorify God with everything I do, most especially with the piano, but it’s hard when I’m so focused on myself.

When is pride a sin? When is it mortal? How can I overcome it?

 

[GracedUpon]

First of all, acknowledge that your talent is a gift from God. It’s a good idea to give Him some credit when people compliment your music. That’s a good way to start humbling yourself, by realizing that without God, you wouldn’t be able to play anything.

Secondly, perhaps God is putting other gifted musicians in your life to give you practice in humility. If you feel jealous that someone may be more talented than you, you should acknowledge that God is also the source of that person’s talent, and thank Him for the beauty that can be created through art, whether it’s through you as the artist or someone else.

Remember, God’s gift to you is also a gift to everyone who hears and appreciates your talents. God is showing your audiences a small piece of His great beauty, through your fingertips.

 

[Jefe_Wyatt]

I can’t offer you Catholic-specific advice because I am not a Catholic.

That said I will try to offer you some constructive secular advice. I agree with your friend. You don’t sound like an arrogant person at all. The fact that you are even saying these things shows humility.

I would say that seeking recognition is a very human and natural thing to do. I don’t think it should be the driving reason behind your playing, but it’s usually a well-deserved reward for hard work and you should allow yourself to enjoy it.

I would be careful of your jealousy. Jealousy again, is a human and natural emotion. It can be used constructively. Say to yourself “I want to be the very best, and anyone who’s better than me better watch out!” If you see someone who had a greater ability than you and you feel that jealousy, direct it towards becoming better at your craft, and don’t allow it to interfere with your respect for that someone, or ruin a chance to learn from them.

Good luck in your playing. You sound like you are not only a great player, but willing to work hard for your ability.

 

[seeker_of_God]

First of all, acknowledge that your talent is a gift from God. It’s a good idea to give Him some credit when people compliment your music. That’s a good way to start humbling yourself, by realizing that without God, you wouldn’t be able to play anything.

Yes, I agree. How can I give Him credit when responding to people, without it sounding awkward?

Secondly, perhaps God is putting other gifted musicians in your life to give you practice in humility. If you feel jealous that someone may be more talented than you, you should acknowledge that God is also the source of that person’s talent, and thank Him for the beauty that can be created through art, whether it’s through you as the artist or someone else.

True. Mostly it’s just when I hear people in the other practice rooms. I tend to think most people are better than me, unless they are obviously not very good. In general, I don’t think I’m great at all. I recognize all of my glaring imperfections that other people don’t notice. But still I enjoy recognition and sometimes seek it.

Interesting what you say about thanking God for the beauty that can be created through music. I will try that. Usually my response is something like, “Oh wow, I really love that piece. I would love to learn that myself,” or “I wish I was that good.”

Remember, God’s gift to you is also a gift to everyone who hears and appreciates your talents. God is showing your audiences a small piece of His great beauty, through your fingertips.

I love that! I do want it to be that way. I understand this intellectually, but I want to start thinking in that way. I want it to be about God, and about the beauty of music, and not so much about me.

Thanks for your reply.

 

[puzzleannie]

When is pride a sin? When is it mortal? How can I overcome it?

Reflection of Fr. John Hardon SJ on Satan and how he seduces us through pride, this answers your question quite well
catholic-teaching.org/2008/11/the-standard-of-satan-pride/

 

[seeker_of_God]

I can’t offer you Catholic-specific advice because I am not a Catholic.

That’s all right. I appreciate all advice.

That said I will try to offer you some constructive secular advice. I agree with your friend. You don’t sound like an arrogant person at all. The fact that you are even saying these things shows humility.

I would say that seeking recognition is a very human and natural thing to do. I don’t think it should be the driving reason behind your playing, but it’s usually a well-deserved reward for hard work and you should allow yourself to enjoy it.

Yeah I see what you mean. It’s not the reason I play, I don’t think, but I do still seek it sometimes. I want to stop seeking for it, though still enjoy it healthily when it comes.

I would be careful of your jealousy. Jealousy again, is a human and natural emotion. It can be used constructively. Say to yourself “I want to be the very best, and anyone who’s better than me better watch out!” If you see someone who had a greater ability than you and you feel that jealousy, direct it towards becoming better at your craft, and don’t allow it to interfere with your respect for that someone, or ruin a chance to learn from them.

I think that would pretty effectively describe how I feel already. I’m not sure if jealousy is the proper word then. I hear someone and am inspired to do better and want to be as good as they are.

Good luck in your playing. You sound like you are not only a great player, but willing to work hard for your ability.

Thanks. I really try.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Reflection of Fr. John Hardon SJ on Satan and how he seduces us through pride, this answers your question quite well
catholic-teaching.org/2008/11/the-standard-of-satan-pride/

Thanks. This part scares me:

Attachment to the things of this world gradually makes a person, not only satisfied with what he or she possesses, but hungry for acceptance, recognition, praise, and honor. And once, as Ignatius says, once a person becomes a victim of empty honors, then pride follows as a matter of course. I’ve struggled with too many multi-millionaires not to know how weak these wealthy people can be if they allow their attachment to the things of this world to bewitch them, and as a consequence makes them an easy prey by making them proud. Because once a person falls into pride, there is no limit to that person’s malice. Proud people are the agents of the devil. He uses them to seduce others. In fact, he uses them to work with him, and under his demonic power he organizes proud people into what some of the Fathers of the Church, as I have said, call a distinct power, call it the mystical body of satan. By whatever name, it is mastered by the father of lies. And God allows the demons to exercise superhuman power over those who allow themselves to be victimized.

I don’t think it answers my question though. When is pride sinful? I understand how people who have a lot of material wealth and such, as this mentions, can be prideful and how that can be sinful, but what about something such as what I described?

When is it a grave sin? is any and all pride a grave sin? Aren’t we all guilty of that, then? Unless I am the only one to struggle with it.

How can I overcome it? The article did a lot to tell me how the devil works with proud people, but didn’t say how to overcome it.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Sorry, just bumping this. I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions regarding this issue.

 

[Snowy]

I cannot help much, but there’s a little thing you can do that will definitely make a difference: make the sign of the cross before starting to play and before you decide which contests, auditions, etc. you are going to enter.

 

[Highwayhound]

I tend to think I have a problem with pride, though when I asked a friend, he didn’t think so.

Ask a few more friends for their thoughts. If the response are all similar and positive that is a good sign.

Balance is a good concept.

I’m a pianist, and most people would say that I’m quite accomplished at it. I’ve been playing for 15 years.

Have you put as much time and energy into your faith?

It’s been a rare occasion that I play something, and not get some significant reaction out of it. I’ve won about 15-20 talent shows growing up. I got into a music school that is well-respected. I won an award in the music school last year for being one of the best at jury (like a final for piano, when one has to play in front of a panel of judges).

I’ve been praying for more humility, but I don’t know what else to do.

One of my yearly goals was to work on my humility. As I bicycle around the county I stop to pick up aluminum pop cans to redeem for the 5 cent deposit. The money collected will go towards a house building mission in Africa. Also, a weekly visit is made to the local nursing home to visit people. For Thanksgiving my renters Tony and Sabrina and their 6 kids have been invited for turkey dinner. So my suggestion is you find a couple of ways that fit into your life to do something to raise up others.

I want to glorify God with everything I do, most especially with the piano, but it’s hard when I’m so focused on myself.

Again, balance. Perhaps you can perform at senior center. Here the local center has a monthly “jam” night. I go and play my harmonica. They are polite to me, but I am sure someone with real talent would be a blessing to them.

Yes, I agree. How can I give Him credit when responding to people, without it sounding awkward?

Trust in the Holy Spirit to guide your words. If your words are genuine then people will know. God has seen to give you talent the more you thank Him the more doing so will become natural.

 

[seeker_of_God]

I cannot help much, but there’s a little thing you can do that will definitely make a difference: make the sign of the cross before starting to play and before you decide which contests, auditions, etc. you are going to enter.

Thanks, I really like that idea. Yesterday, before starting, I prayed that everything I did would serve to glorify God, and prayed similarly afterwards, both times ending with the sign of the cross. I’m going to try to do that more.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Ask a few more friends for their thoughts. If the response are all similar and positive that is a good sign.

Perhaps I will, but there are few friends who know me as well as the one I asked. I can think of perhaps one more, though.

Balance is a good concept.

Balance between what?

Have you put as much time and energy into your faith?

Yes, or at least I’m trying to. My faith is a huge part of my life, and I’m doing all I can to serve God better and follow His will for my life.

One of my yearly goals was to work on my humility. As I bicycle around the county I stop to pick up aluminum pop cans to redeem for the 5 cent deposit. The money collected will go towards a house building mission in Africa. Also, a weekly visit is made to the local nursing home to visit people. For Thanksgiving my renters Tony and Sabrina and their 6 kids have been invited for turkey dinner. So my suggestion is you find a couple of ways that fit into your life to do something to raise up others.

Thanks, I will work on that.

Again, balance. Perhaps you can perform at senior center. Here the local center has a monthly “jam” night. I go and play my harmonica. They are polite to me, but I am sure someone with real talent would be a blessing to them.

Interesting idea. I’m curious what you mean when you say balance, though.

Trust in the Holy Spirit to guide your words. If your words are genuine then people will know. God has seen to give you talent the more you thank Him the more doing so will become natural.

Yes, I will try to do so.

I appreciate all of the suggestions.

Also one of my questions was, when does pride become sinful, or are any and all forms of it a grave sin?

 

[Cattitude]

Yes, I agree. How can I give Him credit when responding to people, without it sounding awkward?

How about something simple like:

Person says, “That was a beautiful performance, you are a very good pianist.”

You: “Thank you so much, but I only do what I do through the grace of God.”

Put it in your own words, and the more you say things like this, the more comfortable it will become.

Think about the parable of the talents. Everything we have been given from God is a gift that we are meant to share with others. I especially like the idea of volunteering to play at senior centers, etc.

Pride is saying “I’m good at this because of all the hard work *I *put in, me and me alone.” Humility is saying “I’m good at this because God gave me the talent, the ability and the perseverance to develop that talent; without him, I would be nothing.”

I hope this helps.

 

[Epistemes]

Hello,

I suffer from pride/vanity issues, as well. I pray the Litany of Humility just about every morning. Though I still act arrogantly at times, praying this Litany is starting to make me a little more transluscent to myself, so that I can see right through my actions. Perhaps praying it yourself might benefit you, as well:

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

 

[seeker_of_God]

How about something simple like:

Person says, “That was a beautiful performance, you are a very good pianist.”

You: “Thank you so much, but I only do what I do through the grace of God.”

Put it in your own words, and the more you say things like this, the more comfortable it will become.

Thanks. I will try that.

Think about the parable of the talents. Everything we have been given from God is a gift that we are meant to share with others. I especially like the idea of volunteering to play at senior centers, etc.

Yeah, that parable is exactly why I started to play the piano more, again, and am going back into music, because I felt like the servant who had buried his talent. Funny you bring that up again.

I’ll have to look into the idea of playing at a senior center. I have to finish a few pieces first, though.

Pride is saying “I’m good at this because of all the hard work *I *put in, me and me alone.” Humility is saying “I’m good at this because God gave me the talent, the ability and the perseverance to develop that talent; without him, I would be nothing.”

I hope this helps.

It does, thanks. I’m trying to shift more to the latter, but I’m not there yet.

I mean I recognize it intellectually, like I said, but still I focus on myself too much sometimes and desire recognition. The idea of praying before and after practicing is helping a little, but I’m still working on it.

It also helps I think that I have the most intimidating and difficult piano teacher in the music school, but even she compliments me sometimes.

On a more concrete level, and as an example, sometimes I’ll be working on a really difficult section, such as these arpeggios I was working on today, and I’ll finally play it correctly and beautifully, and I’m rather happy with myself. I think it’d be more appropriate to be grateful to God. It seems like a subtle shift of mindset.

 

[seeker_of_God]

Hello,

I suffer from pride/vanity issues, as well. I pray the Litany of Humility just about every morning. Though I still act arrogantly at times, praying this Litany is starting to make me a little more transluscent to myself, so that I can see right through my actions. Perhaps praying it yourself might benefit you, as well:

Great, thanks. I’ve come across this before, and prayed it yesterday, but that’s a good idea to pray it every morning.

So does anyone have an answer to when such pride is sinful? I seem to think either I have a really skewed definition of pride, or it is very easy to fall into this sort of sin, as I don’t know if I know anyone without any pride at all. Considering it is one of the seven capital sins, I’d really like to know what constitutes this sort of sin.

 

[Highwayhound]

Balance?

From what I have read of your responses you have balance. Seeking humility is good. You are rejecting pride.

You are not allowing your talent to consume you. You are seeking how to use your talent to glorify God.

God Bless

 

[davidv]

Great, thanks. I’ve come across this before, and prayed it yesterday, but that’s a good idea to pray it every morning.

So does anyone have an answer to when such pride is sinful? I seem to think either I have a really skewed definition of pride, or it is very easy to fall into this sort of sin, as I don’t know if I know anyone without any pride at all. Considering it is one of the seven capital sins, I’d really like to know what constitutes this sort of sin.

The Catholic Encyclopedia defines pride as:

Pride is the excessive love of one’s own excellence.

I believe the key word in this definition is “excessive”. In my mind, any activity that meets this definition can be classified as the sin of pride. That being said, being “proud” of the excellence that comes from developing our God-given talent cannot be automatically declared sinful.

Here is a link to the full article on “pride”.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

The suggestion to say the Litany of Humility daily seems to be a most excellent suggestion! The suggestion to also reflect any praise given to you back to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary also seems to be an excellent suggestion! By this, maybe you are also witnessing to those people and might aid them in giving Catholicism a look.

The most important principle that I follow is: increase your devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary. For example, the book **Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus **, which to the best of my horribly imperfect knowledge is a compliation of the apparitions/revelations to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque and the reflections of her confessor, it has a section on humility.

** II. Second Means - Sincere Humility ** The second means is sincere humility. Jesus Christ, says St. Augustin, does not say to us, learn of Me to work miracles, but learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart, to give us to understand, that, without humility, there is no true piety. We are sufficiently convinced of the necessity of this virtue; all the difficulty consists in knowning what is true humility. Many think they are truly humble, as soon as they have a low opinion of themselves. But they deceive themselves, if they are not at the same time well pleased, that others should entertain the same opinion of them. It is not enough that we acknowledge ourselves to possess no virtue or merit. We must believe it. We must be pleased that others believe it. The first step to be taken in gaining this virtue, is to beg it earnestly of God. The next is firmly to convince ourselves, by means of serious and frequent reflection on ourselves, of our poverty and our own imperfections. The remembrance of what we have been, and the thought of what we may be, serve greatly to humble us. The truly virtuous think little of others, and occupy themselves solely with their own imperfections. The truly humble are scandalized at nothing, because they know their own weakness so well. They see themselves so near the precipice, and they are so much afraid of falling, that they are not surprised if others fall. The less we speak of ourselves, the more closely we conform ourselves to true humility. Those affected discourses, by which we wish to make it appear that we have little esteem for ourselves, have no effect usually but to gain us praise. The most certain mark of sincere humility is to have a special love for those who despise us : never to avoid any humiliations that present themselves to us ; not to ake pleasure in vain thoughts and vain projects for the future, which only serve to nourish a secret pride within us ; never to speak to our own advantage ; never to complain and not to allow others to complain of anything Almighty God allows to happen to us ; to excuse the failings of our neighbor; never to be troubled at our own relapses; to defer to others in all things ; never to undertake anything but with diffidence in ourselves, and to have little esteem for what we do. Finally, to pray much, and to speak little.

Any one who is convinced that he is very miserable, is not offended if he is despised : he sees that it is only just. A humble man, whatever bad treatment he may receive, thinks that justice is done him. Men do not esteem me; they are right, they agree in this with God, and with the Angels. Whoever has deserved hell, thinks that contempt is his due. It is not meant by this, that we are obliged to receive a humiliation with sensible pleasure. Contempt is naturally disagreeable. But not to complain, to be silent under contempt, to thank God for it, and to pray to Him for those whom He makes use of to humble us, whatever repugnance nature may feel in submitting, are certain marks of sincere humility, without which there is no virtue. We have enemies, says St. Paul, within and without us, who spread snares for us on every side. The love of humility, of abjection, of a hidden and obscure life, is a powerful remedy against so many evils. There is no peace but in the forgetfulness of ourselves. If we wish to become perfect, we must resolve to forget even our own spiritual interests, and to seek only the pure glory of God.

Here is a link to the book, but you will have to scroll up from this link to read the section on humility: en.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[seeker_of_God]

AveSantaMaria, thank you for your post. That quote you posted really helps, and I will be praying for humility. It is very difficult.