C
clmowry
Guest
I’ve been through an annulment.
Getting an annulment is by no means a trivial process.
The amount of work that the tribunal puts in to each case (at least in my diocese) is unbelievable.
They gather very detailed depositions from the spouses and witnesses identified by both spouses. They spend as much time as it takes to get information from anyone and everyone that can provide evidence in favor of or in opposition to the annulment. (In my case it took 1 1/2 years to gather all of the pertinent information because of hesitant witnesses. My ex-wife refused to participate in the process because she didn’t think Church should have any influence on her decision to end the marriage.)
The marriage then got a trial. One cannon lawyer argued the case in defense of the marriage, one in favor of an annulment. In the end, I was granted an annulment and my ex a conditional annulment.
It could have easily cost thousands of dollars in lawyer time to handle this case. The dioceses asked for a voluntary donation of $150 to cover the cost of postage. Not even that cost was required of me.
Before going through the process, I was convinced that my marriage was valid. The evidence uncovered during the annulment process, however, convinced me otherwise.
It became clear to me that neither my ex-wife nor I had been capable of making a Sacramental marriage commitment at the time of our marriage. As hard as it was for me to admit to myself, God was simply not part of our lives and we had been married for all the wrong reasons.
That said I was more than willing to “make” our marriage a sacramental marriage for the sake of our Children. It takes three, however, to make this happen and my ex didn’t care to participate.
The key here is whether or not the parties involved were capable of making a Sacramental commitment at the time of their marriage. A “real” marriage is relationship of three, not two. It is a bond between man-woman and God. Too many people keep God out of the equation.
The only “simple” grounds for an annulment, which I know of, helps illustrate the point. For a marriage to be sacramental both of the spouses must have been baptized. If the Christian God is not part of each individual’s life, then how can He be part of the marriage?
Assuming both spouses were baptized at the time of the marriage, then it doesn’t matter whether you were married in civil court, by a Buddhist monk, in a Baptist Church, or in a Catholic Church by a priest. Your marriage is assumed valid unless proven otherwise.
Steven Merten:
I think the Church (every local parish) should enforce at least a 6-month waiting period before they marry anyone and a formal professionally led discernment process should be required.
I’m assuming that these marriages were not all Church marriages, but if the Church allowed these folks to get married again; I hope they enforced one heck of a discernment process.
People change, I have no doubt, but if someone was granted an annulment for 4-5 marriages, I certainly hope it was a conditional annulment. I.E. The conditions and state of life that allowed the annulments to be granted must have been demonstrated to change before another marriage is ever allowed.
Steven Merten:
I read where a man left his wife for his mistress. He was getting an annulment through the Church so he could marry his mistress. The wife begged the Church to let God’s commandment against adultery stand and protect her from the wickedness of adultery. She said possibly her husband will repent from his sin of adultery and come back to her and she will forgive him. The bishop told her that the pronouncement that her marriage, of many decades and five children, was nothing but garbage was none of her business./QUOTE]
Some how I doubt that a Bishop would say it was none of her business, but that aside, if she chose to fight the annulment, it can be appealed all the way to Rome and must be reviewed by a tribunal there before the annulment will be granted.
Chuck
Getting an annulment is by no means a trivial process.
The amount of work that the tribunal puts in to each case (at least in my diocese) is unbelievable.
They gather very detailed depositions from the spouses and witnesses identified by both spouses. They spend as much time as it takes to get information from anyone and everyone that can provide evidence in favor of or in opposition to the annulment. (In my case it took 1 1/2 years to gather all of the pertinent information because of hesitant witnesses. My ex-wife refused to participate in the process because she didn’t think Church should have any influence on her decision to end the marriage.)
The marriage then got a trial. One cannon lawyer argued the case in defense of the marriage, one in favor of an annulment. In the end, I was granted an annulment and my ex a conditional annulment.
It could have easily cost thousands of dollars in lawyer time to handle this case. The dioceses asked for a voluntary donation of $150 to cover the cost of postage. Not even that cost was required of me.
Before going through the process, I was convinced that my marriage was valid. The evidence uncovered during the annulment process, however, convinced me otherwise.
It became clear to me that neither my ex-wife nor I had been capable of making a Sacramental marriage commitment at the time of our marriage. As hard as it was for me to admit to myself, God was simply not part of our lives and we had been married for all the wrong reasons.
That said I was more than willing to “make” our marriage a sacramental marriage for the sake of our Children. It takes three, however, to make this happen and my ex didn’t care to participate.
The key here is whether or not the parties involved were capable of making a Sacramental commitment at the time of their marriage. A “real” marriage is relationship of three, not two. It is a bond between man-woman and God. Too many people keep God out of the equation.
The only “simple” grounds for an annulment, which I know of, helps illustrate the point. For a marriage to be sacramental both of the spouses must have been baptized. If the Christian God is not part of each individual’s life, then how can He be part of the marriage?
Assuming both spouses were baptized at the time of the marriage, then it doesn’t matter whether you were married in civil court, by a Buddhist monk, in a Baptist Church, or in a Catholic Church by a priest. Your marriage is assumed valid unless proven otherwise.
Steven Merten:
Now this is where I get on my soapbox.
I think the Church (every local parish) should enforce at least a 6-month waiting period before they marry anyone and a formal professionally led discernment process should be required.
I’m assuming that these marriages were not all Church marriages, but if the Church allowed these folks to get married again; I hope they enforced one heck of a discernment process.
People change, I have no doubt, but if someone was granted an annulment for 4-5 marriages, I certainly hope it was a conditional annulment. I.E. The conditions and state of life that allowed the annulments to be granted must have been demonstrated to change before another marriage is ever allowed.
Steven Merten:
I read where a man left his wife for his mistress. He was getting an annulment through the Church so he could marry his mistress. The wife begged the Church to let God’s commandment against adultery stand and protect her from the wickedness of adultery. She said possibly her husband will repent from his sin of adultery and come back to her and she will forgive him. The bishop told her that the pronouncement that her marriage, of many decades and five children, was nothing but garbage was none of her business./QUOTE]
Some how I doubt that a Bishop would say it was none of her business, but that aside, if she chose to fight the annulment, it can be appealed all the way to Rome and must be reviewed by a tribunal there before the annulment will be granted.
Chuck
