If I were discussing something with a friend in person, however, I would stop at the first paragraph which you wrote. I would simply address the question itself - how can Mary be Mother of God?
You answered several different questions which were not asked. I asked about why Mary is Mother of God, and you explained about veneration, honoring Mary, touched on her sinlessness, mentioned merit and her being filled with Grace. I didn’t ask about any of that stuff.
Thanks Tim. Good advice and I will keep that in mind as I keep learning how to do this. One reason I went on to related ideas is that I knew you weren’t asking this question for yourself, but rather for my benefit. I appreciate that, but I also saw an opportunity to expand on what you asked for others who might be reading this.
Now I’m confused about exactly what you believe because I’m an evangelical and I’m not familar with half the words you used. The word “Merit” sound’s to me like what my Pastor told me about Catholics trying to earn their way into heaven.
Two things. First, I said that the title Mother of God did
not reflect Mary’s merit (she believed in God and accepted the offer to become His mother, but didn’t earn the right to do so). If the hypothetical evangelical responded with the objection you just did, “my pastor said it’s not about merit” I’m not sure how I would answer…other than saying “I never said it was about merit…you mis-heard what I said”. Secondly, the goal is to bring this person into the Catholic Church eventually, right? They’re going to have to get used to the “lingo” of the Church, and so I guess I don’t see the problem if I throw out some Catholic terms here and there. As long as I explain what I mean by them.
Yes, sort of. Could this just be a difference in style? I’m guessing that you have more experience talking with people about this than I do, so I’d be interested to hear if you’ve ever had a specific instance where my type of answer backfired in the real world.
Stay on topic. Keep it very simple. Answer the question. Then lead with a question of your own. Don’t go in all different directions at once. Show the beauty and correctness of one Catholic belief and then ask a question like “Do you believe Mary is your Mother?” or “You know Mary is a queen, right?”
I do see what your saying. I guess it would be different for me in a face to face situation than how it is when it’s over the internet? I tend to speak differently than I write.
"OK, fair enough, I see how God did not have a mother prior to the incarnation. That makes sense. Mary didn’t exist before God, but she existed before God was born. OK, But you guys call her Queen of Heaven and Earth. Where does all that nonsense come from. It isn’t in the Bible, that’s for sure!
How do you reply? What argument do you use? We are standing on line at the coffee shop and it is almost your turn to order your latte. You have less than a minute to reply. What do you say?
Alright, first of all my latte can wait.
I’d either order it quickly and turn right back around to talk while it was being prepared, or just not get one. I can’t control whether the person in line has to leave the coffee shop, but I’m certainly not going to cut off this type of conversation for anything other than a physical emergency.
As to the response, I’d say something like: *"I hear you, Tim. I know those other titles sound even stranger than Mother of God. But if we’re honest with each other, there are PLENTY of things that aren’t explicitly stated in the Bible that we can both agree are true. The word “Trinity” is not in there, but we know God is three persons in one. “Sunday School” is never mentioned in the Bible, but that wouldn’t stop you from sending your kids there would it? The Gospels never say that Jesus blinked His eyes or had to use the “restroom”, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume that those things happened. If we get right down to the root argument, the Bible itself never says that everything we believe has to be found within the Bible! In fact, John says:
"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."
So, Tim. The most basic way to understand how Mary is Queen of Heaven is to think of a royal family here on Earth. What do you call the mother of a king, who wasn’t born into the royal family, but married into it? The Queen Mother, right? Same concept here. Mary is not the ruler of Heaven and Earth, and Catholics don’t believe that she is. But she’s the mother of the King, as well as the spouse of the Holy Spirit. In a sense, she married into the family, but definitely isn’t a goddess herself. That’s another myth about what Catholics believe. Queen of Heaven is just another way to illustrate the relationships between Mary and Jesus/The Holy Spirit, and it would have made a lot more sense to people back in the Middle Ages or in Europe than it does to a modern day American."*
Assuming that the hypothetical Tim responded favorably to that, I might ask “How do you feel about praying to Mary, Tim? That’s probably a little uncomfortable too, am I right?” and move on to that topic next.
IOW, I’m not looking to debate anyone who’s out to disprove Catholic beliefs.
