Is arguing with parents a mortal sin?

[MartyrForJesus]

When I have problems with my computer sometimes I feel like I am ignored when I ask for help from parents to fix it. I often just get a ‘It works for everyone else, it only doesn’t work for you’ response and nothing progresses towards fixing the problem. Today I had another one of those moments, and I replied, saying “Just because it works for everyone else does not mean it works for me, turning a blind eye on the problem will not fix anything” (or something along those lines).

I didn’t really think before talking back, it just came out running on the fuel of my emotions of being annoyed.

Was this a mortal sin? When it feels like arguments are unavoidable at home, it seems like just being here is an occassion of sin!

 

[twoangels]

No. Mortal sins do not accidently happen. Full consent of the will and full knowledge that what you are doing is gravely sinful basically means you dilberately made the choice to sin.

God is not a computer program. He is perfectly just and perfectly merciful and He judges what is going on in your heart. Your outward behavior is merely a reflection of what is taking place inside of you. Conversion to God is a lifelong process. We turn slowly, we struggle with our attachment to sin and our reason abilities are dulled. We get confused about what the moral law demands on us at times. Sometimes its clear. Sometimes its not.

To enter Heaven is about giving your entire self to God without reservation. This means all attachment to sin must God. Thankfully though this process is life long and we have the hope of Purgatory to finish the process.

A mortal sin is total rejection of God. If you are seeking out God and you’re unsure if a sin is gravely offensive or not and you do the act with the best of your judgement, even if you’re judgment was wrong, your heart was still not in complete rejection of God. As such, your sin is venial. If however, you suspect a sin is gravely offensive, but you decide not to investigate and educate your conscience further to get to heaven on a techncality “Hey Lord, I was ignorant. Don’t I get in?” than your heart really is not turned toward God. Your heart playing games with morality to keep its attachment to the sin.

Its not about making yourself worthy of God. Its not about winning God’s affections. Its much more like falling in love with God. If you’re living in fear that God will reject you, you’ve got it backwards. The question is, are you rejecting God? That’s ultimately what you have to ask yourself? And that involves far more than just following a moral code book. That involves getting to know who God.

 

[MartyrForJesus]

No. Mortal sins do not accidently happen. Full consent of the will and full knowledge that what you are doing is gravely sinful basically means you dilberately made the choice to sin.

God is not a computer program. He is perfectly just and perfectly merciful and He judges what is going on in your heart. Your outward behavior is merely a reflection of what is taking place inside of you. Conversion to God is a lifelong process. We turn slowly, we struggle with our attachment to sin and our reason abilities are dulled. We get confused about what the moral law demands on us at times. Sometimes its clear. Sometimes its not.

To enter Heaven is about giving your entire self to God without reservation. This means all attachment to sin must God. Thankfully though this process is life long and we have the hope of Purgatory to finish the process.

A mortal sin is total rejection of God. If you are seeking out God and you’re unsure if a sin is gravely offensive or not and you do the act with the best of your judgement, even if you’re judgment was wrong, your heart was still not in complete rejection of God. As such, your sin is venial. If however, you suspect a sin is gravely offensive, but you decide not to investigate and educate your conscience further to get to heaven on a techncality “Hey Lord, I was ignorant. Don’t I get in?” than your heart really is not turned toward God. Your heart playing games with morality to keep its attachment to the sin.

Its not about making yourself worthy of God. Its not about winning God’s affections. Its much more like falling in love with God. If you’re living in fear that God will reject you, you’ve got it backwards. The question is, are you rejecting God? That’s ultimately what you have to ask yourself? And that involves far more than just following a moral code book. That involves getting to know who God.

Wow, thanks for such an insightful post. Members on here truly are a blessing.

 

[Sirach2]

A mortal sin is total rejection of God. If you are seeking out God and you’re unsure if a sin is gravely offensive or not and you do the act with the best of your judgement, even if you’re judgment was wrong, **your heart was still not in complete rejection of God. As such, your sin is venial. **
The question is, are you rejecting God?

Oooo! Be careful with this advice. You seem to be speaking about apostasy, which rejects God; whereas, mortal sin can be committed and often is, without rejecting Him. Many people miss mass deliberately, intending to go ‘next time’ and they know that it is considered a mortal sin to miss mass. But, they do it anyway with full knowlege and consent . . . without rejecting God!

With your line of thinking, with which you may have had another meaning IDK, you imply that none of these sins are really mortal unless full rejection is in the heart.

OP, I truly admire your sensitivity and respect toward your parents! Oh, if you only knew how vicious and ugly are some of the things my own children have screamed at me. And without remorse or apology! My dad would have taken out the strap over it.

But I agree, it was not a mortal sin as you describe your situation.

God bless!

 

[GratefulFred]

There are 3 requirements for a sin to be mortal.

1. It must be a serious matter.
2. You must know it is a serious matter.
3. You must freely choose to commit the sinful act.

Most of sins are venial because, while wrong, they are not of the degree of serious matter to be mortal.

Expressing frustration about being ignored is generally not a serious matter. Stating a fact generally is not serious matter either. From what you described, you did not cross the line from venial to mortal sin in expressing your anger and frustration from the lack of help you expected. The commandment is “Honor.” There are many honorable disagreements.

As a parent, I often try to let my children solve their own problems. I do expect them to make reasonable efforts to handle their own affairs. I should not be expected to drop what I am doing to look up an answer they can very well look up for themselves. When I know they have made their best efforts and still need help, then I help.

 

[MartyrForJesus]

Thanks all very much. It’s a blessing having so much advice.

 

[MissRose73]

I would say a child arguing with a parent over getting homework done on time instead of playing video games and/or choosing not to go to Mass on Sunday instead of watching cartoons in the morning in pajamas is sinful & breaks the 4th Commandment as an example. I understand no child is perfect in terms of obeying parents. I know I had my moments growing up that I regret now regarding not listening to my parents.

I would rather ask a priest in confession if the instance for breaking the 4th Commandment was sinful in your situation or not. He will let you know if it is or is not. What may be for 1 person may not be for another based on their life situations and age etc.

Adult children arguing with their parents is another matter all together. It depends on the reasons as parents should not try to meddle in the lives of their independently living adult children unless they are doing something really wrong in the eyes of the law as an example.