Is befriending homosexuals wrong?

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Pekita

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I have recently come across an old school friend whom is a lesbian. She recenlty got married to another woman. I was deeply shocked, as we went to a catholic school together many - many - years ago. She has no good words for the Church, but still after all these years of being apart I´d like to take up on our long lost firendship. Is this wrong? Can anything good come of it?
 
It is not wrong to befriend homosexuals but do try to make sure you are disinterested when it comes to matters of sexuality. That said, whether or not you become friends with her again is up to you and/or your spiritual adviser/director.
 
Pekita said:
I have recently come across an old school friend whom is a lesbian. She recenlty got married to another woman. I was deeply shocked, as we went to a catholic school together many - many - years ago. She has no good words for the Church, but still after all these years of being apart I´d like to take up on our long lost firendship. Is this wrong? Can anything good come of it?
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Does this woman want to take up your offer of friendship? The fact the she has no good words for the Church may be an indication she has no desire to renew the friendship. In which case, your desire to renew the friendship is irrelevant.

It is possible to revive past friendships, but this woman is no longer the person she was when you were at school. As adults, we go different ways in life. We change and become very different people to the person we were at school. Therefore, you are not befriending the person you knew at school, you are befriending the person they are now. There are times it can be accommodated and times it cannot - depending on the extent to which both parties can accept and accommodate that change. There are people who never change but I would say they are an exception rather than the norm.

Whether anything good can come from it is something no can know. It’s possible a revival of your friendship may prompt this woman to adapt a more tolerant attitude to the Church - and it may not. You may also end up having a huge differences of opinion, causing a rift that may be difficult to heal. There’s an element of chance in any human relationship, particularly if you trying to revive a friendship for reasons I mentioned above.

I would leave the offer of friendship open, and let her decide if she wants to take it up. We can’t simply just refuse friendship to people who are not living their lives in accordance with our standard of morality. However, bonds are friendship tend to be closer among people who, among other things, share a similar point of view. If you don’t, friendship is still possible depending on the personalities of the parties involved, the extent to which they value the friendship, and the extent to which they can accommodate their contrasting points of view. If they can’t do this, the friendship will be at best strained and at worst not survive.
 
minkymurph said:
Does this woman want to take up your offer of friendship? The fact the she has no good words for the Church may be an indication she has no desire to renew the friendship. In which case, your desire to renew the friendship is irrelevant.

It is possible to revive past friendships, but this woman is no longer the person she was when you were at school. As adults, we go different ways in life. We change and become very different people to the person we were at school. Therefore, you are not befriending the person you knew at school, you are befriending the person they are now. There are times it can be accommodated and times it cannot - depending on the extent to which both parties can accept and accommodate that change. There are people who never change but I would say they are an exception rather than the norm.

Whether anything good can come from it is something no can know. It’s possible a revival of your friendship may prompt this woman to adapt a more tolerant attitude to the Church - and it may not. You may also end up having a huge differences of opinion, causing a rift that may be difficult to heal. There’s an element of chance in any human relationship, particularly if you trying to revive a friendship for reasons I mentioned above.

I would leave the offer of friendship open, and let her decide if she wants to take it up. We can’t simply just refuse friendship to people who are not living their lives in accordance with our standard of morality. However, bonds are friendship tend to be closer among people who, among other things, share a similar point of view. If you don’t, friendship is still possible depending on the personalities of the parties involved, the extent to which they value the friendship, and the extent to which they can accommodate their contrasting points of view. If they can’t do this, the friendship will be at best strained and at worst not survive.
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wonderfully said 🙂
 
Is it wrong to befriend,


  1. *]People who have sex before marriage?
    *]People who masturbate?
    *]People who watch pornography?
    *]People who are cohabiting?
    *]People who use birth control?
    *]People are “Pro-Choice”?
    *]People who aren’t Catholic/Christian?

    If it’s okay to befriend all these people, why isn’t it okay to befriend a homosexual? Homosexuality is not a foreign sin. The main thing they and us have in common is SIN. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” - Romans 3:23

    And plus Jesus befriended a lot of tax collectors and harlots. But that didn’t stop Him from being Jesus.
 
followingtheway said:
Is it wrong to befriend,


  1. *]People who have sex before marriage?
    *]People who masturbate?
    *]People who watch pornography?
    *]People who are cohabiting?
    *]People who use birth control?
    *]People are “Pro-Choice”?
    *]People who aren’t Catholic/Christian?

    If it’s okay to befriend all these people, why isn’t it okay to befriend a homosexual? Homosexuality is not a foreign sin. The main thing they and us have in common is SIN. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” - Romans 3:23

    And plus Jesus befriended a lot of tax collectors and harlots. But that didn’t stop Him from being Jesus.
Click to expand...

  1. Like!
 
Pekita said:
I have recently come across an old school friend whom is a lesbian. She recenlty got married to another woman. I was deeply shocked, as we went to a catholic school together many - many - years ago. She has no good words for the Church, but still after all these years of being apart I´d like to take up on our long lost firendship. Is this wrong? Can anything good come of it?
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Is it wrong to befriend someone who remarried after a divorce? Both are mocking the institution of marriage, both commit sin when they engage in sex with their partner.
 
What is the purpose of rekindling this friendship? Do you mean simply to be “facebook friends”? Or do you want to start doing things with her and her “partner”?

It isn’t inherently wrong to be “friends” with someone. Or ot “friend” people on facebook who you knew a long time ago. I’ve got a lot of “facebook friends” from high school that I would likely not be “friends” with IRL.

But, with this renewed “friendship”, I will ask you: to what end? If she begins to pull you into her lesbian world and expect you to interact with her “partner” and acknowledge her as her “spouse”, what then?

I think you need to think through why you want to renew the friendship, what parameters and boundaries you might need to set, and where you want this friendship to go. And of course, how she feels about renewing this friendship.
 
Pekita said:
I have recently come across an old school friend whom is a lesbian. She recenlty got married to another woman. I was deeply shocked, as we went to a catholic school together many - many - years ago. She has no good words for the Church, but still after all these years of being apart I´d like to take up on our long lost firendship. Is this wrong? Can anything good come of it?
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Regarding those who have pointed out homosexuality is a moral sin like others - I couldn’t have put it better myself. If you would befriend someone who has committed any sin against chastity why should homosexuals be different?

I would forget the sin but not your friend. While neither of you can leave your identity at the door (homosexual/Catholic) it is always better to have friends. On a practical note, if she has no good words for the Church now, she may do in the future when you show her a good example of a charitable Catholic who can be a friend without appearing to be a “holier than thou” judge.
 
followingtheway said:
Is it wrong to befriend,


  1. *]People who have sex before marriage?
    *]People who masturbate?
    *]People who watch pornography?
    *]People who are cohabiting?
    *]People who use birth control?
    *]People are “Pro-Choice”?
    *]People who aren’t Catholic/Christian?

    If it’s okay to befriend all these people, why isn’t it okay to befriend a homosexual? Homosexuality is not a foreign sin. The main thing they and us have in common is SIN. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” - Romans 3:23

    And plus Jesus befriended a lot of tax collectors and harlots. But that didn’t stop Him from being Jesus.
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  1. Befriending someone does not mean we must accept or adopt their lifestyles or beliefs. If we refused to befriend or renew friendships with people who sin or those whose beliefs we disagree with in any way, we would most probably have no friends at all.
 
meltzerboy said:
Befriending someone does not mean we must accept or adopt their lifestyles or beliefs. If we refused to befriend or renew friendships with people who sin or those whose beliefs we disagree with in any way, we would most probably have no friends at all.
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A truly excellent point.
 
meltzerboy said:
Befriending someone does not mean we must accept or adopt their lifestyles or beliefs. If we refused to befriend or renew friendships with people who sin or those whose beliefs we disagree with in any way, we would most probably have no friends at all.
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Exactly. 👍

There is nothing inherently wrong with befriending sinners; after all, we all sin. This also gives you an opportunity to show your friend the charitable face of Christ in the Church.

That said, it may not be without difficulty. Your friend may engage in a lifestyle that is unrepentantly sinful by its very nature, and that can create any number of opportunities for discomfort in your relationship. If you choose to renew your friendship, you may find your faith challenged. This is not a bad thing. Often times we grow comfortable in our faith, and it takes a challenge to it to force us to dig deeper to understand it better.

Just don’t go the other way. 😉
 
followingtheway said:
Is it wrong to befriend,


  1. *]People who have sex before marriage?
    *]People who masturbate?
    *]People who watch pornography?
    *]People who are cohabiting?
    *]People who use birth control?
    *]People are “Pro-Choice”?
    *]People who aren’t Catholic/Christian?

    If it’s okay to befriend all these people, why isn’t it okay to befriend a homosexual? Homosexuality is not a foreign sin. The main thing they and us have in common is SIN. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” - Romans 3:23

    I agree.

    However, I would feel an obligation to defend the Catholic church if your friend, or other acquaintances, attempted to dishonour or refute the teaching of your faith. In addition, your friend would need to be sympathetic to the fact that there would be certain social occasions or ceremonies where your faith would negate your attendance. If she is not and expects ‘unjustifiable tolerance’ from you, she is, in my opinion, asking you to choose between your friendship and your faith. In which case, GOD COMES FIRST!

    God bless

    And plus Jesus befriended a lot of tax collectors and harlots. But that didn’t stop Him from being Jesus.
Click to expand...
 
Pekita said:
I have recently come across an old school friend whom is a lesbian. She recenlty got married to another woman. I was deeply shocked, as we went to a catholic school together many - many - years ago. She has no good words for the Church, but still after all these years of being apart I´d like to take up on our long lost firendship. Is this wrong? Can anything good come of it?
Click to expand...
Of course it’s not wrong, so long as you’re clear on that subject whenever it may come up. She’s your friend. Do you have friends who are, or were alcoholic? Addicted to drugs? Cutters? Depressed? Bi-Polar? etc. People go through stuff. A good friend is always there. A good friend doesn’t lie either. And this is the sad part. You MAY find that if and when the subject of sexuality is broached, that she may shy away from YOU. Not the other way around. You see, good Catholics are truly tolerant, compassionate and forgiving, but honest. She may not dig what you have to tell her on a few things. If she turns away from you, it’s HER that is being intolerant and unreasonable. But perhaps not. She might be interested in what you have to say, if SHE is a true friend, and whether or not she ever takes action on it, she will at least respect your feelings on this, and probably won’t bring it up much. Best wishes and luck. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Hating homosexual identifying persons serves no purpose at all. Just be her friend, and pray for her often.

Peace,

Steven
 
Stumblesalot said:
I agree.

However, I would feel an obligation to defend the Catholic church if your friend, or other acquaintances, attempted to dishonour or refute the teaching of your faith. In addition, your friend would need to be sympathetic to the fact that there would be certain social occasions or ceremonies where your faith would negate your attendance. If she is not and expects ‘unjustifiable tolerance’ from you, she is, in my opinion, asking you to choose between your friendship and your faith. In which case, GOD COMES FIRST!

God bless
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What you’ve said is true too. I don’t know, it all depends on the situation. 🤷
 
Thank you all for your advice and counceling! They have been very helpful! God bless you!
 
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