Is being an Alpha Male Christian?

[MainBrain]

I have been told that I have to take on more alpha male traits in order for my life and my marriage to improve. My question here is, is taking on alpha male traits a Christian virtue? Or, is it something that takes on the form of fleshly behavior?

 

[PolarGuy]

There are lots of people who try to emasculate men. Don’t buy into that. When you say “alpha males,” I think about people who are ambitious; show leadership; are self-reliant take charge types, etc. So suffice it to say none of these are bad qualities.

 

[Lea101]

Depends on what you think alpha male is!

There are some alpha males who are rude misogynists, abusers, etc. They believe that since they lead, women are basically weak creatures that need them

There are also some who are nice Christian men. They protect and love their women and although they believe they “wear the pants”, they believe that the women deserve the same amount of respect and are capable.

If you mean alpha by taking the lead, protecting and providing, I don’t think that’s bad at all. A lot of women find certain traits sexy too, even feminists. It’s just that the term is quite um…unpleasant for some

Since you are lucky to be the same gender as Jesus, think about what Jesus would do. Don’t try to follow a certain stereotype of what masculinity is, follow him.

(Unhelpful advice, I know, but do think about it)

 

[Sarcelle]

If being an alpha male is being a good leader, I say go for it.

Good leadership is rare. For a lot of people leadership means being a micromanager. This is not true.

Good leaders encourage the development of the gifts of the people under their charge and do not demean them. A good team is only as strong as its weakest link.

 

[GEddie]

Being an alpha-male is mostly about the body: height, shoulders, muscularity etc; and the accompanying command-personality attributes. A big, bluff body often houses a commanding personality.

As such, it is neutral. Also, if you do not have an alpha embodiment by birth, you most likely can’t get there.

However, I’d say our LORD was most definitely an alpha-male. Based on the Shroud of Turin, He would seem to have been a tall ectomesomorph. And even without that, He was certainly a large powerful man (walking for days; undertaking fasts that would land most people in the morgue; chasing hordes off with an improvised whip; etc). He was also indubitably a command personality.

ICXC NIKA

 

[LethalMouse]

The secular world influence says no. Be a metrosexual!

Christian way would be maybe a bit more Adam and Eve and not Terry and Terry… you know we aren’t sure who’s who and the names work either way… Be Adam not Terry

(No offense meant to any Terrys, first dual name I could think of for example purposes)

 

[GEddie]

The secular world influence says no. Be a metrosexual!

Christian way would be maybe a bit more Adam and Eve and not Terry and Terry… you know we aren’t sure who’s who and the names work either way… Be Adam not Terry

(No offense meant to any Terrys, first dual name I could think of for example purposes)

There are a slew of such names: Ashley’s, Kelly’s, etc.

ICXC NIKA

 

[Book_Worm]

Told to be an “alpha male” by whom? Why does this person have the right/ability/inclination to direct you how to live your life and arrange your marriage relationship?

I’m always a little leery of people who are so quick to use trendy, pop culture terms like this. It may work for animal packs, but AFAIK, the quest to be the alpha male has led to wars and political and civil unrest among humans.

 

[Rhubarb]

It depends what you mean, like others say. Some might call an ‘alpha male’ temperament as aggressive and violent. You know, the Axe Body Spray’d guy who throws his arms up and goes “What?! What?!” and gets in another’s face when they get upset. A bar fighter, a drunkard, a glutton, etc. They take their shirt off too often, they are self-absorbed, they try to dominate others.

When I think of an alpha male, I think of someone with principles and self-control. Someone who can handle any situation and can take charge. They’re collected and able to think things through and make plans. They inspire, they do not oppress.

 

[Beryllos]

Be whom God made you to be. Use your gifts and talents, whatever they may be. If it doesn’t suit you to be “alpha,” don’t worry about it.

 

[on_the_hill]

Being an alpha-male is mostly about the body: height, shoulders, muscularity etc; and the accompanying command-personality attributes. A big, bluff body often houses a commanding personality.

Often, not always. Sometimes when he doesn’t have a commanding personality, people ascribe it to him anyway. Which, in turn, leaves some people disappointed.

Bottom line is, “turn the other cheek,” doesn’t mean make a target of yourself.

If you’re shy, quiet, retiring, unassuming, avoid eye contact, look at your shoes, slouch, and project a personality of being wishy-washy, being told to be more like an alpha male might actually be helpful advice. Even if you have wonderful God-given talents, it might be hard to make use of them if you’re overlooked and pushed aside.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

It depends on the definition of “Alpha Male”. While I think some definitions are consistent with Christian behavior, I’ve noticed that for many who use that term, sexual promiscuity, even borderline predatory sexual behavior, is also part and parcel of the “Alpha Male” status. I’ve seen Bill Clinton being described as an Alpha Male, for example. Many seem to find it natural and inevitable that powerful men will attract many women, and engage in a lot of sex with a lot of partners. But last I checked, that was not considered Christian behavior.

 

[Sarcelle]

It depends on the definition of “Alpha Male”. While I think some definitions are consistent with Christian behavior, I’ve noticed that for many who use that term, sexual promiscuity, even borderline predatory sexual behavior, is also part and parcel of the “Alpha Male” status. I’ve seen Bill Clinton being described as an Alpha Male, for example. Many seem to find it natural and inevitable that powerful men will attract many women, and engage in a lot of sex with a lot of partners. But last I checked, that was not considered Christian behavior.

I think masculinity and femininity have been stereotyped quite perversely.

You just described the masculine stereotype while the feminine stereotype has something to do with being helpless, stupid, obsessed with physical looks, quite materialistic, shallow and grasping.

I do not see any of the virtues being displayed in these stereotypes.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

There are lots of people who try to emasculate men. Don’t buy into that. When you say “alpha males,” I think about people who are ambitious; show leadership; are self-reliant take charge types, etc. So suffice it to say none of these are bad qualities.

I like this poster’s answer, but don’t overdo the take charge attitude where it can become a control issue.

 

[Sarcelle]

I like this poster’s answer, but don’t overdo the take charge attitude where it can become a control issue.

When it becomes a control issue, that is now micromanagement and not true leadership.

Some of my bosses are true leaders and some of them are micromanagers. The difference is night and day.

 

[SuperLuigi]

It can be if you are charitable about it and accept the proper gender role.

 

[Michael1966]

I have been told that I have to take on more alpha male traits in order for my life and my marriage to improve. My question here is, is taking on alpha male traits a Christian virtue? Or, is it something that takes on the form of fleshly behavior?

I guess the image of an alpha male is not frequently one who comes to serve others and wash feet. So perhaps there might be some conflict in there worth exploring.

 

[LethalMouse]

I guess the image of an alpha male is not frequently one who comes to serve others and wash feet. So perhaps there might be some conflict in there worth exploring.

False bravado = washing feet is scary because you can’t look “strong”

Christian alpha = washes feet because he is strong

There is a difference between the two. Only someone truly secure, truly strong can serve without fearing their personal loss.

 

[MainBrain]

If being an alpha male is being a good leader, I say go for it.

Good leadership is rare. For a lot of people leadership means being a micromanager. This is not true.

Good leaders encourage the development of the gifts of the people under their charge and do not demean them. A good team is only as strong as its weakest link.

This is true. Being Alpha is all about being positive and strong and bringing the best out of people. Thanks.

Being an alpha-male is mostly about the body: height, shoulders, muscularity etc; and the accompanying command-personality attributes. A big, bluff body often houses a commanding personality.

As such, it is neutral. Also, if you do not have an alpha embodiment by birth, you most likely can’t get there.

However, I’d say our LORD was most definitely an alpha-male. Based on the Shroud of Turin, He would seem to have been a tall ectomesomorph. And even without that, He was certainly a large powerful man (walking for days; undertaking fasts that would land most people in the morgue; chasing hordes off with an improvised whip; etc). He was also indubitably a command personality.

ICXC NIKA

Not sure I totally agree. Many small men are strong leaders. Some might say it’s out of a complex. However, that still doesn’t mean the result is not Alpha traits.

The secular world influence says no. Be a metrosexual!

Christian way would be maybe a bit more Adam and Eve and not Terry and Terry… you know we aren’t sure who’s who and the names work either way… Be Adam not Terry

(No offense meant to any Terrys, first dual name I could think of for example purposes)

The media and society certainly has dug a whole for men haven’t they.

Told to be an “alpha male” by whom? Why does this person have the right/ability/inclination to direct you how to live your life and arrange your marriage relationship?

I’m always a little leery of people who are so quick to use trendy, pop culture terms like this. It may work for animal packs, but AFAIK, the quest to be the alpha male has led to wars and political and civil unrest among humans.

Understood. But you can’t deny that most women are attracted by strong men.

When I think of an alpha male, I think of someone with principles and self-control. Someone who can handle any situation and can take charge. They’re collected and able to think things through and make plans. They inspire, they do not oppress.

Yes, this is what I want.

Be whom God made you to be. Use your gifts and talents, whatever they may be. If it doesn’t suit you to be “alpha,” don’t worry about it.

Thanks. This is hard but it’s doable.

Often, not always. Sometimes when he doesn’t have a commanding personality, people ascribe it to him anyway. Which, in turn, leaves some people disappointed.

Bottom line is, “turn the other cheek,” doesn’t mean make a target of yourself.

If you’re shy, quiet, retiring, unassuming, avoid eye contact, look at your shoes, slouch, and project a personality of being wishy-washy, being told to be more like an alpha male might actually be helpful advice. Even if you have wonderful God-given talents, it might be hard to make use of them if you’re overlooked and pushed aside.

Thanks.

It depends on the definition of “Alpha Male”. While I think some definitions are consistent with Christian behavior, I’ve noticed that for many who use that term, sexual promiscuity, even borderline predatory sexual behavior, is also part and parcel of the “Alpha Male” status. I’ve seen Bill Clinton being described as an Alpha Male, for example. Many seem to find it natural and inevitable that powerful men will attract many women, and engage in a lot of sex with a lot of partners. But last I checked, that was not considered Christian behavior.

Thanks.

I think masculinity and femininity have been stereotyped quite perversely.

You just described the masculine stereotype while the feminine stereotype has something to do with being helpless, stupid, obsessed with physical looks, quite materialistic, shallow and grasping.

I do not see any of the virtues being displayed in these stereotypes.

Thanks.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Told to be an “alpha male” by whom? Why does this person have the right/ability/inclination to direct you how to live your life and arrange your marriage relationship? …

This is an important point.

I think the best thing including most of the above posts is to piggy back on this to make your own evaluation of what gifts you want to develop.

At my workplace we were blessed to have the genuine Myers-Briggs roadshow in place of the overly-cut down one most people get. Every general has an aide-de-camp. Extrovert generals that are out there with the troops have an aide-de-camp dealing calmly inside the tent with paperwork, maps and such. Introvert generals that deal with paperwork and maps have a gifted interactor as aide-de-camp. Or should have! Both types can be most excellent.

When I found out I’m autistic I read books by an autistic lady that discuss at length sensing and analysing. When you realise you are doing both, you can do them at will.

Healthful assertiveness and confidence in your opportunities to develop your own gifts are open to people of all personality styles. (Forget physiques - it’s about poise, little sparkle, spring.)

We have our own extra-special specialities AND we have great potential in most other areas as well.

I’m a great visual thinker. But I benefit from aids in visual thinking as well as in other forms. I’m a multi-layered thinker (think lasagne). To benefit oneself is to harness a strength and support a weakness.

Language is allusive and is auditory and written symbolism for concepts that are often themselves symbols, sometimes many layers deep. Hence the appeal to my memory as a mixture of letters, feelings, relationships between “bodies”, colours, densities and what have you. When I am “staring into space”, I am “seeing” “things”!!!

What is allusive is often taken to be watertight for practical purposes (hence all the quarrels about just about everything in the world! )

Stock up on A3 pads and pencils for mulling things over!

In a lecture, I visualise half a sentence and use auditory memory to convey the other half till I can write it all down (having refined a method of homing in on the most key words, and invented my favourite customary abbreviations) and usually don’t miss the next one.

It takes a lifetime to bloom for a lifetime so meantime just figure out a few extra obvious places where you can make an exceedingly good, and very “normal” start.

I enjoy my achievements in dovetailing with other people’s even though some people think I am “clunky”!