Is being the victim of rape a sin?

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chevalier said:
The “delectation” there represents a conscious choice, not a subjective sensation of delight. Remember about the requirement of knowledge and consent for a mortal sin.
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According to Fr. Heribert Jone, if one consents to any subjective sensation of sexual pleasure outside of matrimony, that is a sin of voluntary delectation in sexual pleasure outside of matrimony. Delighting in sexual pleasure, by definition, involves a degree of consent to the sexual pleasure. This is very explicit in Moral Theology. It is not a matter of interpretation. I disagree with it, but it is his view.
 
vs_trumpet said:
According to Fr. Heribert Jone, if one consents to any subjective sensation of sexual pleasure outside of matrimony, that is a sin of voluntary delectation in sexual pleasure outside of matrimony. Delighting in sexual pleasure, by definition, involves a degree of consent to the sexual pleasure. This is very explicit in Moral Theology. It is not a matter of interpretation. I disagree with it, but it is his view.
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Why and what part of it do you disagree with? I’d rather you replied via PM.
 
No matter if you were, as you but it, black alley raped, OR you were molested by someone mentally powerful than you, you did not sin. You were put into a situation that you couldnt prevent and were forced. You were young. You didnt sin at all. As for being a virgin, I believe you were or still are a virgin becasue you didnt want to do that, you did it by force, against your will.
 
I dont agree with this either. How can the church really thing this? There are more rape cases where the woman is dressed well, not provoctivaly and she is still raped.

I was molested as a child, how did I bring that upon myself? Then turn it around, children may have been molested but sometimes they do feel “good” you know the sensations. How will they know its a sin? I sure didnt, until later on in life. So that needs to revised cause this is a very bad quote.
vs_trumpet said:
I do not believe you have done any thing wrong. And what is important most of all is the journey upon which we are on.

You seem to want all perspectives, including the traditional Catholic one. The traditional perspective - NOT SHARED BY ME - would be:
  1. You may have sinned in choices you made leading up to the tragedy by acting imprudently or otherwise against justice.
  2. In the tragedy itself as well as outside of it, you may have sinned to the extent that this might apply to you: [Franciscan priest Heribert Jone in Moral Theology] “all directly voluntary sexual pleasure is mortally sinful outside of matrimony. This is true even if the pleasure is ever so brief and insignificant. Here there is no lightness of matter.” Keep in mind that in Jone’s moral theology, “voluntary” would apply to what he calls “delectation” in sexual pleasure. So someone who, totally innocently, gets herself in a situation where she spontaneously (w/out anyone else involved) climaxes would be committing mortal sin in his view if she were to “delect” in that pleasure, and he uses that kind of thing as an example. I don’t know if this is common, rare, or non-existent for a victim of rape to take any kind of delight in any physical sensation that might arise in the midst of tragedy.
Remember, I DO NOT believe in the position above. Even if any of it should apply to your situation, I would choose to follow your heart and seek help from not just religious sources but from secular professionals certified or licensed to assist you.
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remj(name removed by moderator)76 said:
I was molested as a child, how did I bring that upon myself? Then turn it around, children may have been molested but sometimes they do feel “good” you know the sensations. How will they know its a sin? I sure didnt, until later on in life. So that needs to revised cause this is a very bad quote.
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I’m not a Christian just so you know.

As has been discussed, if you don’t know it is a sin, then it’s not sinful for you. You can be culpable for the ignorance, but in your case as you described it, I don’t think you would be. So don’t worry, the church would not say you have sinned in those areas.

In case I wasn’t clear, as you note, a woman can be prudent and modest and still be raped. Also, if a woman acts imprudently, then that’s something sinful whether something bad happens or not. It’s like if you gamble all your life savings on one bet at Vegas. Let’s say you double up. Well, what you did would still be sinful (gambling is not sinful, but gambling recklessly, is) I personally wasn’t thinking of women seducing men, but imprudent things like going to neighborhoods known to be unsafe or unsafe at night, etc. Nothing would justify in any way the actions of the rapist. I apologize if I gave the impression that I or anyone else would justify the actions of the rapist.

There is one special case where the victim of rape can be guilty of it but it’s not rape in the usual sense of the term. Heribert Jone speaks of different kinds of rape and one kind is where a man deceives a woman into sleeping with him. For ex. (this is just my own example), if a man pretends to be a woman’s husband (if his identical twin was the woman’s husband), then that man would be guilty of rape and of course the woman would be totally innocent. But, another ex would be if a man pretends to be very wealthy or otherwise lies about himself and the woman sleep with him. In this case, while the woman was definitely the victim of this lesser form of non-violent rape by deception, she would in Heribert Jone’s view (not necessarily my own) of course be guilty of the sin of sex outside of marriage. But we don’t call that “rape” even though IMO, we should.
 
It is definitely not a sin. But what you do after is YOUR choice. For instance, I remember the story of St. Maria Goretti who was raped by someone and she decided to forgive him. She didn’t sin for being raped, and she didn’t let the man’s sin get in the way from being even closer to God. You should look up her story. It’s a lot more interesting than the way I say it…
 
Doople said:
I was raised Protestant and when I was 16, someone close to me took advantage of me, it wasn’t a stereotypical back-alley rape scenario. It was more like imprisonment and coercion. I told my mother about it hypothetically, to get an idea of her reaction, and she said she thinks getting raped is wrong because you shouldn’t put yourself in situations where it could happen. After that, I told no one. Because of the coercion and my mother’s reaction I felt guilty for it for many years. So my question is, was I still a virgin? Was it a sin?

I hope this does not offend anyone.
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:hmmm: I wonder if mom might have been speaking from experience?

The answer to your question is “maybe or perhaps.”

Only the victim and God can fully and truthfully know the degree of “culpability.” Whether there was any intent to cooperate or not, or perhaps to encourage the act? It is a private matter beween the victim and God, unless the victim choses otherwise?

In the majority of cases, the answer would clearly be NO!

Issues of “date rape” likely being the area of POSSIBLE suspect.
Was there any encouragement or cooperation?

To ease ones mind, it might be a good idea to Confess the Incident, (notice I did not say SIN) It might bring much needed physological peace of mind and soul. And the priest is under a vow of absolute silence and can’t discuss your “Confession” with ANYONE!

BUT, **Life Happen’s:crying: **

That is EXACTLY what Jesus demonistrates the greatest Humility, and the greatest display of LOVE, ever knowen to humanity…

No, not becomming a "little less than His angels, a man.

No, not dying on the Cross for us and rising from the dead, to become our “Redeemer!” Both AWESOME Sacrifices!

**The GREATEST display of :love: LOVE:love: ** by our GOD, is that in abject humility, and unfathomable Love for each of us individually, Jesus assumes a Mantel of the inatimate objects of ordinary bread and wine:bowdown2: To be our source od Salvation!

He offers Himself to us persoanly in Catholic Holy Communion!

What an Awesome God we have! AMEN!!!

Put it behind you! What is done is done!

Accept Gods Love, Mercy and Help:extrahappy: God wants you to be happy, and to love Him and all the folks He places into your life.:dancing:

FACT: Noone can give what they don’t have! So let LOVE IN, and you’ll be able to “let love out.”

God bless you. It took great courrage to share your story.
 
I was raped when I was 18. I am now 44 I went through years of shame and guilt. I have since recovered and survied the incident . Stereotypical, rape isnt stereotypical. I am sorry that you had to endure this in your life.

I struggles for many years blaming myself for sinning against god howwever I had to come to the realization that I was not the one that sinned. It was the perpatrator was lustful and took away my free will . I like you didnt tell my mom for fear of her reaction and judgment.

I do feel the actions of the other against me clouded my judgement in years to come in which I chose to make sinful choices. This is why I had to seek gods forgiveness and forgive myself. I had to find the positive out of the negative in this.I have become a counslor and have taken up and teach self defense for woman. God turns all negative around for his good.

Trust in him and know he is your strength.
 
satori said:
I was raped when I was 18. I am now 44 I went through years of shame and guilt. I have since recovered and survied the incident . Stereotypical, rape isnt stereotypical. I am sorry that you had to endure this in your life.

I struggles for many years blaming myself for sinning against god howwever I had to come to the realization that I was not the one that sinned. It was the perpatrator was lustful and took away my free will . I like you didnt tell my mom for fear of her reaction and judgment.

I do feel the actions of the other against me clouded my judgement in years to come in which I chose to make sinful choices. This is why I had to seek gods forgiveness and forgive myself. I had to find the positive out of the negative in this.I have become a counslor and have taken up and teach self defense for woman. God turns all negative around for his good.

Trust in him and know he is your strength.
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I admire what you have posted…
you are such an example for all raped girls …
God bless you
 
satori said:
I was raped when I was 18. I am now 44 I went through years of shame and guilt. I have since recovered and survied the incident . Stereotypical, rape isnt stereotypical. I am sorry that you had to endure this in your life.

I struggles for many years blaming myself for sinning against god howwever I had to come to the realization that I was not the one that sinned. It was the perpatrator was lustful and took away my free will . I like you didnt tell my mom for fear of her reaction and judgment.

I do feel the actions of the other against me clouded my judgement in years to come in which I chose to make sinful choices. This is why I had to seek gods forgiveness and forgive myself. I had to find the positive out of the negative in this.I have become a counslor and have taken up and teach self defense for woman. God turns all negative around for his good.

Trust in him and know he is your strength.
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This is exactly how I have felt all these years. And it is very similar to how I recovered too.

Excellent post!! 👍
 
I think you have a lot of support here. Perhaps over time your mother’s views have changed. In any case, if you are wondering if she is right it seems to me that there is more there than just that. This is something you didn’t tell her because you checked out her reaction and felt that she would not accept it. So, at a time when you needed her love and support the most, you must have felt alone and rejected. I have a feeling that if this is still something that you wonder if she was right about, what is at the core of this is really you wonder if you would still be acceptable to your mother if she knew. I kind of think to get this off your mind it would be best to talk it over with a counselor and also discuss in counseling whether you should tell your mother what happened and how you think she would react now.

And something that you may have not considered is when people answer a hypothetical question about a hypothetical person, sometimes their answer would be totally different if the situation actually was to occur to someone they love very much. Things change when strong feelings of caring and protection for your child are part of a real situation.

Anyway, I think that talking this over with a professional will help you decide if you want to talk to your mother or if you want to just accept that she was wrong and that’s just her. Catholic Charities have great counseling programs. I’ve been through some counseling and they are the best in my book! Most affordable too.

Take care.
 
I think every rape victim feels trapped within their past hurts
and the incredible stigma that we all bear.

ONLY GOD CAN HEAL THE WOUNDS WE CARRY TIL WE DIE

Being a Rape Victim is not a Sin.

Being a ( Heterosexual ) male rape victim myself has been a long arduous road having kept silent until recently for almost thirty years.

I believe the only human person who can “truly” understand a rape victim no matter how sincere, is another rape victim in whom you can openly identify with.

There is Hope though even it means taking a life time to find it.
Read: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=4639727#post4639727

My Heart and Soul goes out to all rape victims because I Do Know What It Feels Like Inside.
 
samichtu said:
It is definitely not a sin. But what you do after is YOUR choice. For instance, I remember the story of St. Maria Goretti who was raped by someone and she decided to forgive him. She didn’t sin for being raped, and she didn’t let the man’s sin get in the way from being even closer to God. You should look up her story. It’s a lot more interesting than the way I say it…
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I didn’t realise she was actually raped. I thought she was just threatened.
So was she actually raped?
 
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO !!! It is not your fault…

Yes, prudence dictates that we not knowingly place ourselves in harm’s way. But, you were young, naive and …gasp!!..trusting.

The Church teaches that three conditions must be met in order for an act to be sinful:
  1. There must be serious matter
  2. You must give it sufficient reflection
  3. You must give the full consent of your will
You didn’t think about this happening, and you most certainly did not will it to happen. You were trapped and coerced.

You were the victim, and Jesus wept for you.

I hope that if you have not already done so, that you find for yourself some measure of peace and the fullness of healing. See yourself as Jesus sees you-a woman who was violated by a creep. A lovely daughter who values intimacy as only those whose intimacy was violated are capable of doing.

God Bless You
 
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