Is confession and confirmation the same as getting saved?

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I think the issue is my ignorance, stubborn nature and rebelliousness. I never denied premarital sex is a sin. The question is more why and how does it damage your soul? I think my desires are natural and normal for a healthy young woman
 
I think the issue is my ignorance, stubborn nature and rebelliousness. I never denied premarital sex is a sin. The question is more why and how does it damage your soul? I think my desires are natural and normal for a healthy young woman
There are literally hundreds of books by Catholics and Christians that show why premartial sex is damanging to the soul.

Natural desires are normal–it’s the acting on them that gets you into trouble.
 
I don’t think it is facts I need, it’s a change of heart honestly.
 
I don’t think it is facts I need, it’s a change of heart honestly.
Well, since tinkerbell’s magic is in short supply, Scott Hahn and Greg Popcack will have to do. Feelings are built upon experience and information. Getting quality information will do you a world of good.
 
“I don’t think you need to concern yourself with that.” Is what I would answer if someone asked me if I was saved.
I tell them “yes, praise the Lord!” Just so they will do just that (not concern themselves with it).
It looks like I cannot manage my own life by seeking help.
On the contrary, a well managed person knows where and when to ask for help.
Some people find that heretical or wrong that Catholics added more books to the Bible. I need to attend an apologetics class. Not to fight off Protestants but to better understand my faith
This would be a much better use of your time and energy. In the process, you might find an increased desire to leave behind a life of sin.

One of the first things you will learn is that Catholics did not add books. Protestants removed them!
My argument was what about mature, financially responsible, adults in a committed relationship practicing safe consensual sex.
From a secular perspective, it is clearly not a problem. The world does not care why God created sex. For that matter, created human beings, and what His intention is for them.
I want to be able to answer why Catholics have a catechism book or do certain things if asked. Ignorance is what invites people to evangelize to me. If I had confidence no one would
Maybe so, but it is also possible they can detect a suffering soul that needs salvation. Having “catholic answers” won’t necessarily change that. As you have pointed out, one can know what is right, and still choose to do otherwise.
I used to think I was practicing purity by engaging in activities that excluded the actual act
I am glad you came to see the light on that. http://chastity.com/
Self control is difficult for me
I think it is for all of us, just in different areas for different people. There is good news, though, the more one walks by the Spirit, the easier it is to crucify the lusts of the flesh.
 
Premarital sex doesn’t always have a devastating effect.
I suppose that depends upon what you mean by devastating. The spiritual effects are profound.
Some people have sex with multiple partners with no concern.
Just because people do this and it does not concern them does not mean it is not concerning or that there are no concerns.
That’s a subjective answer.
Are you referring to God’s commandment not to do this sort of thing?
Some are fully content fornicating so long as they don’t catch STDs, feelings or someone becomes pregnant.
Human beings feeling “fully content” about bad behavior does nothing to make it less devastating.
I honestly doubt I’ll stop lying for the rest of my life.
It sounds like you don’t believe what is written in the Bible.
Why do you say that?
Because The Word of God says that we can be transformed by the Holy Spirit, and will no longer be enslaved to sin.
Some people aren’t fearful or traumatized by abortion, especially if they think it is okay.
Perhaps, we don’t determine the gravity of sin by how much a person is fearful or traumatized by it.

But even those who were “okay” at the time can come to themselves and realize they have killed an innocent human being for their own convenience. At that point it can become traumatizing.
 
Then how is it you don’t know what Confession requires (repentant spirit) and that premarital sex is always forbidden?
The truth is that the vast majority of Baptized, Confirmed Catholics do not know their faith well at all.
I know premarital sex is wrong but I wish it weren’t.
I think most of us feel this way about the sinful behaviors to which we are most attached.
Going to hell for having sex before marriage sounds theatrical.
I am not sure what this means, but I don’t think trying to discuss it will help.
 
Isn’t the holy spirit dwelling you and making new the same as repentance and being saved?
 
Thanks for your answers. I don’t know if my confession has to include a firm affirmation of never sinning again. I’m there to tell the truth do why make a promise I don’t plan to keep. Maybe the word is it is difficult to keep.
 
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Why are you confessing if you have no intention of stopping sinful behavior?

Why are you spending all of your and other people’s time writing and then rejecting church teaching?

If it means so little to you that you won’t change how you live, why are you asking so many questions and then refuting the truth in people’s answers?

I just don’t understand. 😳
 
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Not wasting time. I feel like I’m learning. I’ve been introduced to new opinions. I can just tell Padre that there are certain sins I’m struggling to fully give up. Shouldn’t I tell him the truth rather than tell him s promise I won’t keep? He can decide whether I’m absolved or not. I mean I’m obviously going to tell him why I struggle and my conflicting desires.

This is not a waste of time. Someone somewhere else feels the same way I do but is not bold enough to ask.
 
Well, part of the problem is you see things as opinions. You think the Chirch has an opinion on premarital sex and you get to reject it because it’s just their opinion.
 
The Lord meets us where we’re at. You may not understand how difficult this is for me. I’m not a sex addict or anything, but this will be hard.
 
Isn’t the holy spirit dwelling you and making new the same as repentance and being saved?
The possibility exists, but it is also possible, through mortal sin, to grieve the Holy Spirit and drive Him out of your life. A baptized person can go to hell by doing this. And, as @steve-b has pointed out, repentance/confession without contrition and sorrow is not effective.
I don’t know if my confession has to include a firm affirmation of never sinning again. I’m there to tell the truth do why make a promise I don’t plan to keep. Maybe the word is it is difficult to keep.
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.

OR

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy.

OR

O my God, I am sorry for my sins because I have offended you. I know I should love you above all things. Help me to do penance, to do better, and to avoid anything that might lead me to sin. Amen.

If your confession does not include this, it is not valid.

You are right, going to confession when you do not intend to change is an exercise in futility.
Maybe the word is it is difficult to keep.
Of course it is! We cannot do it by ourselves. We need the Holy Spirit working in us. But if we are not willing, it will not happen. What we need is the intention to keep it. This is a simple act of the will. One chooses. It is not based on feelings, desires, motivation, or anything else.
Why are you confessing if you have no intention of stopping sinful behavior?

Why are you spending all of your and other people’s time writing and then rejecting church teaching?

If it means so little to you that you won’t change how you live, why are you asking so many questions and then refuting the truth in people’s answers?

I just don’t understand. 😳
This is where the mental health professional and the spiritual director come into the picture!
The Lord meets us where we’re at. You may not understand how difficult this is for me. I’m not a sex addict or anything, but this will be hard.
He does, but there has to be a starting point that begins with an act of the will. Either you want to be a disciple of Christ, or you don’t. If you are lukewarm, He will spit you out of his mouth!
 
I’m at a fork in the road. “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” I wish I didn’t care about sex that much.
 
I was about to say the same thing. You sound like the very definition of a lukewarm Catholic.
 
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