Is confession necessary?

[Bookcat]

Alright, now let’s take the dying part out of it.

When we ask for forgiveness through prayer, does God forgive us then? Or are we not truly forgiven until we go to confession?

In terms of venial sins – yes prayer is one of the many ways such can be forgiven (they are recommended to be confessed but can be forgiven in many ways).

In terms of mortal sin-yes if one repents of all ones mortal sins (which includes the resolution to not sin mortally again) and one has the grace of perfect contrition. One can be forgiven prior even to confession.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church notes:

“When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity)… it …obtains forgiveness of mortal sins** if it includes **the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.”

If one has imperfect contrition…forgiveness does yet not occur until confession and absolution. (see CCC).

 

[PaulLS]

thomasf and all:
i can tell you my experience, which i still don’t understand, going on three years “since my last confession” – in the end i was not absolved. The sins my conscience accused me of i confessed. The priest asked me questions to get to know me, or the context of my sins, i don’t know. In any case it ended with a “blessing” not an absolution. No penance prescribed, other than a vague ‘continue your spiritual journey’ or something to that effect. That was on a Good Friday. On Easter i got in line for communion, bowed my head and crossed my arms. The priest blessed me, but it was almost as if i could feel his sadness, or worse, that he was wondering what devil he had before him. (that’s probably a projection). Since i didn’t know what to do to ‘correct’ my situation in “confession” i eventually rebelled, and when hearing “Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed” i took that to apply to me, and went to communion anyway. But of that – my conscience accused me. So i fell away entirely from the body, and, go figure, sins increased. Now i’m driven to go back, but am confused. Should i locate that same priest? Part of me doesn’t think that’s necessary for the sacrament. He’s a priest, not my personal therapist. But then part of thinks that if i don’t find him i’ll always question whether i ‘cheated’ and just went for a ‘loophole.’ No doubt my legalistic thinking got me in some trouble – i probably seemed to cynical. But is that unforgivable? i’m a sinner; but i’d rather be a saint. Do i not understand the sacrament correctly? Probably not, since i only know how to sin and can’t ‘confess’ correctly, and so am damned to Hell.

 

[thomasf]

thomasf and all:
i can tell you my experience, which i still don’t understand, going on three years “since my last confession” – in the end i was not absolved. The sins my conscience accused me of i confessed. The priest asked me questions to get to know me, or the context of my sins, i don’t know. In any case it ended with a “blessing” not an absolution. No penance prescribed, other than a vague ‘continue your spiritual journey’ or something to that effect. That was on a Good Friday. On Easter i got in line for communion, bowed my head and crossed my arms. The priest blessed me, but it was almost as if i could feel his sadness, or worse, that he was wondering what devil he had before him. (that’s probably a projection). Since i didn’t know what to do to ‘correct’ my situation in “confession” i eventually rebelled, and when hearing “Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed” i took that to apply to me, and went to communion anyway. But of that – my conscience accused me. So i fell away entirely from the body, and, go figure, sins increased. Now i’m driven to go back, but am confused. Should i locate that same priest? Part of me doesn’t think that’s necessary for the sacrament. He’s a priest, not my personal therapist. But then part of thinks that if i don’t find him i’ll always question whether i ‘cheated’ and just went for a ‘loophole.’ No doubt my legalistic thinking got me in some trouble – i probably seemed to cynical. But is that unforgivable? i’m a sinner; but i’d rather be a saint. Do i not understand the sacrament correctly? Probably not, since i only know how to sin and can’t ‘confess’ correctly, and so am damned to Hell.

I don’t think you do understand confession correctly. If you confess your sins, and are a catholic in good standing with the church, you should get absolution. Once you are absolved, you are absolved. That’s it, the sins are gone, and grace is bestowed. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it or continue to feel the burden of those sins. IMO you should talk to a priest about what it means to confess and tell him of your feelings after confession.

Jesus told St Faustina, the saint who Jesus brought the divine mercy to, that it hurts Him more that people don’t believe in His mercy and the power of confession. You must trust in God and have faith in Him. Once your sins are absolved leave them behind you, don’t hold on to them. Jesus’ mercy is as vast as the oceans of the world, and all the sins by all the people in the world only makes a drop in that sea of mercy.

You should look into the divine mercy revelations as well. They are very enlightening and it’s a wonderful devotion.

divinemercy.org/introduction.html

 

[PaulLS]

No, i was not absolved, my sins were retained.
yet i do believe in Divine Mercy …

 

[PaulLS]

Thank you Bookcat for clarifying my situation in your private messages. Prayers for all.

 

[St_Francis]

No, i was not absolved, my sins were retained.
yet i do believe in Divine Mercy …

Go to another priest–if you think it will take a long time, make an appointment (ask him to meet you in the confessional if you want to remain anonymous). Explain what happened with the previous priest, and see what he says. He may see a problem and be able to help you fix it, or you may have learned more in the past 3 years and he will absolve your sins.

Many years ago I wanted to return to the Church and went to Confession, but the priest told me I didn’t understand the sacrament and he couldn’t absolve my sins. He said to com back when I had learned more about the sacrament, but didn’t tell me how to learn more? I was confused and wish I had followed up sooner than I did, so I encourage you to persevere.

 

[St_Francis]

No, i was not absolved, my sins were retained.
yet i do believe in Divine Mercy …

Go to another priest–if you think it will take a long time, make an appointment (ask him to meet you in the confessional if you want to remain anonymous). Explain what happened with the previous priest, and see what he says. He may see a problem and be able to help you fix it, or you may have learned more in the past 3 years and he will absolve your sins.

Many years ago I wanted to return to the Church and went to Confession, but the priest told me I didn’t understand the sacrament and he couldn’t absolve my sins. He said to com back when I had learned more about the sacrament, but didn’t tell me how to learn more? I was confused and wish I had followed up sooner than I did, so I encourage you to persevere.

 

[Elizabeth502]

A couple of things, Debora:

~If/when we have perfect contrition (not only “at death”), God forgives us thoroughly, we are told in Catholic theology. But as Church members, having received the sacraments of Initiation, our restoration to grace is imcomplete until we, as Church members, engage with that sacramental reconciliation to our Church, as opposed to a merely private reconciliation with God. And our Church is the source of an ongoing grace-filled life; otherwise, why be members of a Church? We might as well “create” our own separate religions, say our private prayers to God, trust in private personal graces. But that is very non-theological from a Catholic perspective, because Christ speaks, loves, gives, forgives, and teaches in community, through his Mystical Body, His Church. We experience the Trinity not only privately, but through Christ’s Church, his living Body. Jesus promised the apostles to send His Spirit to His Church, so when we ignore or bypass that Church, we try to ignore Jesus Himself.

~raaucoin has it right, that sin injures the ecclesial body. (Fr. Wade Menezes has often spoken of this on EWTN: Sin injures self, neighbor, Church, and cosmos.)

~It is a very classic Catholic theological concept that God forgives, rewards, and heals in anticipation of a completed act, after the heart extends itself to God with full intention to complete specific acts. That does not mean that the follow-through (in this case, the sacrament) is not essential, merely that God’s vision is magnanimous, and that his friendship/covenant with us is based on mutual trust, including His own, toward us. This was also operative among the Jewish people, in their history, prior to Christ’s earthly arrival.

~Forgiveness (the anticipation of it, the promise of it, the reality of it) is one thing; sacramental graces are something else; those are not available outside of the sacrament. Sacramental graces empower us to avoid those very sins which have been confessed.

~The genuine sign of one’s sorrow for sin is not private prayer but engaging with the sacrament of penance…just as the genuine sign of sorrow for offending someone else is not, by itself, an apology, but rather modified behavior, and often an outward act of restoration of that relationship. And we cannot effectively modify our behavior without the external benefits attributed to the sacrament; sacramental grace empowers us to change.

 

[Dominique1234]

If a person is truly sorry for something she has done and prays to God to forgive her but then dies before going to confession, is that sin forgiven just as much as it would have been if she had made it to confession?

If the answer is yes, then is confession truly necessary for forgiveness? Or is it something we do so that we can be strengthened, encouraged, and hopefully receive some good advise from the priest (apart from also being forgiven)?

Are you talking about venial sin? If so, yes you are forgiven. If it’s mortal, one has to have absolute contrition, or have a perfect contrition for that/those mortal sin(s) for it/them to be forgiven AND with intent to never commit that/those sin(s) again, as well as intent to go to confession as SOON as possible. If any of this is lacking, the sin(s) is/are not forgiven and the person will not be granted Heaven. That is,of course, between God and the person in question.

Do you understand the difference between venial and mortal sin? Do you know what the Capital sins are? A good source for true answers are in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. But if you need in depth answers, you’re doing the right thing by talking to your priest. Ask for factual statements about what the Church teaches, like the statements I just made. They are what the Catholic Church teaches in laymen terms.

I remember to this day the first mortal sin I committed. I cried, I wanted to run and hide. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I felt so terrible. I figuratively drove the nails into Christ’s hands and feet. I was spitting on him by doing what I did that day. The sad thing is, I didn’t feel worthy of his forgiveness or love. I continued to do that mortal sin to the point where it felt ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ and a ‘lesser sin’ (venial). Doctors even said it was okay and ‘healthy’. They still do. And they’re supposed to be intelligent? I won’t mention the sin, but you know where I’m going with this.

It took me a LONG time to actually be a man and confess that particular sin. I wanted to believe that God had forgiven me, but always had the uncertainty about it. I also went to receive Christ in the Holy Eucharist, committing even WORSE sin, sacrilege. I knew God hadn’t forgiven me because I kept committing the sin. This is where confession is necessary to wipe the slate clean, completely. By falling again, it’s like it happened only once with confession. Without confession, those sins are not forgiven if I continue to fall. Confession renews the graces lost by sin. True contrition and a firm purpose of amendment is key. Graces can only be attained/received through the sacraments. Confession and communion go hand in hand. Can’t get communion without confession.

They state “with intent of going to confession as soon as possible”, which means not after going to lunch with friends, then the movie that night… oh, I’ll go tomorrow. I intend to go sometime this year. You get my point I’m sure.

Also, omitting any known mortal sins during confession negates any forgiveness of sin. A priest told me that. You aren’t repenting for a mortal sin, how can you repent for a venial sin? I’m getting way off topic, but I hope this helps a little at least. I think I needed to vent a little too

In the end, if a person chooses to do a “perfect contrition”, one should still refrain from obtaining communion until one has gone to confession.

 

[Dominique1234]

A couple of things, Debora:

~If/when we have perfect contrition (not only “at death”), God forgives us thoroughly, we are told in Catholic theology. But as Church members, having received the sacraments of Initiation, our restoration to grace is imcomplete until we, as Church members, engage with that sacramental reconciliation to our Church, as opposed to a merely private reconciliation with God. And our Church is the source of an ongoing grace-filled life; otherwise, why be members of a Church? We might as well “create” our own separate religions, say our private prayers to God, trust in private personal graces. But that is very non-theological from a Catholic perspective, because Christ speaks, loves, gives, forgives, and teaches in community, through his Mystical Body, His Church. We experience the Trinity not only privately, but through Christ’s Church, his living Body. Jesus promised the apostles to send His Spirit to His Church, so when we ignore or bypass that Church, we try to ignore Jesus Himself.

~raaucoin has it right, that sin injures the ecclesial body. (Fr. Wade Menezes has often spoken of this on EWTN: Sin injures self, neighbor, Church, and cosmos.)

~It is a very classic Catholic theological concept that God forgives, rewards, and heals in anticipation of a completed act, after the heart extends itself to God with full intention to complete specific acts. That does not mean that the follow-through (in this case, the sacrament) is not essential, merely that God’s vision is magnanimous, and that his friendship/covenant with us is based on mutual trust, including His own, toward us. This was also operative among the Jewish people, in their history, prior to Christ’s earthly arrival.

~Forgiveness (the anticipation of it, the promise of it, the reality of it) is one thing; sacramental graces are something else; those are not available outside of the sacrament. Sacramental graces empower us to avoid those very sins which have been confessed.

~The genuine sign of one’s sorrow for sin is not private prayer but engaging with the sacrament of penance…just as the genuine sign of sorrow for offending someone else is not, by itself, an apology, but rather modified behavior, and often an outward act of restoration of that relationship. And we cannot effectively modify our behavior without the external benefits attributed to the sacrament; sacramental grace empowers us to change.

VERY well said. !!