Is divorce a sin, if a couple does not seek an annulment?

[whatevergirl]

I ask, because I wonder about my sister’s future, if she decides to marry again.

So, my questions are:

1. Is it a sin to divorce, if two people do not even attempt to go through the annulment process?
2. If a couple does go through the process, and the ‘verdict’ comes back that the marriage was valid and is valid…would they be living in sin if they marry another? I’m assuming yes.
3. Would the couple be in sin, if the marriage was declared to be valid, but they DON’T remarry?

I know it’s not a sin to divorce, if one doesn’t remarry, but most Catholics I know, have gone through the annulment process, at least. My sister isn’t going to.

Please advise…thanks!

 

[FrDavid96]

I ask, because I wonder about my sister’s future, if she decides to marry again.

So, my questions are:

1. Is it a sin to divorce, if two people do not even attempt to go through the annulment process?
2. If a couple does go through the process, and the ‘verdict’ comes back that the marriage was valid and is valid…would they be living in sin if they marry another? I’m assuming yes.
3. Would the couple be in sin, if the marriage was declared to be valid, but they DON’T remarry?

I know it’s not a sin to divorce, if one doesn’t remarry, but most Catholics I know, have gone through the annulment process, at least. My sister isn’t going to.

Please advise…thanks!

1. Divorce is a legal matter. Marriage is a legal contract under the civil law, and the government has the legitimate authority to regulate that legal contract. The actual legal process of a divorce is not itself a sin, but it may be that the actions the person takes as part of that process might be a sin.
   It might be a sin for a couple to be unfaithful to their marriage vows by not “working at it enough”. Having relations with someone else would definately be a sin. There is no simple answer. What constitutes a sin depends upon the interior motivation of the person and that person’s own conscience (properly formed). There is no all-encompassing answer to say that getting a divorce either is nor is not a sin.
   Also, keep in mind that because a legal marriage (whether that happens in a courthouse or a church) is a “fact of law” the Church will not even consider a petition for an annulment until a civil divorce has been granted by the court.
2. Yes. That one is easy.
3. Not necessarily. Again, it depends upon the person. It is not itself sinful to be married but not live together. That in itself is not a sin, but there might be other sins involved depending upon just what the person does or does not do.

 

[Aramis]

I ask, because I wonder about my sister’s future, if she decides to marry again.

So, my questions are:

1. Is it a sin to divorce, if two people do not even attempt to go through the annulment process?

No, it’s not. The marriage should actually be understood as two separate marriages: the civil contract, and the sacramental bond. Divorcing is dissolving the legal contract, but doesn’t affect the sacrament.

It’s actually quite common to not immediately seek annulment upon divorce… admitting one hadn’t been validly married in the eyes of the church is a huge hit to the ego.

1. If a couple does go through the process, and the ‘verdict’ comes back that the marriage was valid and is valid…would they be living in sin if they marry another? I’m assuming yes.

Unless and until annulled, any sex, even that within a new civil union, would be adultery. Once annulled, any non-marital sex would be fornication, a lesser but still grave sin.

Note that canon law lists a prior valid marriage as impediment to marriage; only the Pope may grant remarriage in such cases. It’s rare but not unheard of.

1. Would the couple be in sin, if the marriage was declared to be valid, but they DON’T remarry?

no. A good friend is in that very circumstance; she had to leave her husband of 30+ years when he became mentally ill, violent, and dangerous. She has not sought an annulment since she still considers him her husband, still loves him, and has no desire to remarry. She can’t however, live with him… it just isn’t safe.

(That he went and civilly remarried is irrelevant to her, and to the church. He’s still practicing, but is not able to comprehend that his civil remarriage means he’s an adulterer. He has major brain damage due to physical illness.)

I know it’s not a sin to divorce, if one doesn’t remarry, but most Catholics I know, have gone through the annulment process, at least. My sister isn’t going to.

Please advise…thanks!

Most of those who seek annulment already have a potential replacement spouse in mind at the time they file.

 

[kage_ar]

Your sister would be best advised to go to Confession, her Priest will help her in determining the gravity of the Divorce.

The Catechism gives us the answer scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2384

**2384 ***Divorce *is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign.

Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:

If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.178

2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society. [2386](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/2386.htm’) It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.179

 

[IrishAm]

Without a declaration of the nullity of the first marriage, any action that would be unacceptable outside the bounds of that marriage (“dating” someone comes to mind) would be unacceptable.

It isn’t just remarriage that is not permissable in the eyes of the Church. A divorced person without an annulment must live as if they were still sacramentally married, despite the civil divorce, until the Tribunal decision is made.

 

[FrDavid96]

Your sister would be best advised to go to Confession, her Priest will help her in determining the gravity of the Divorce.

The Catechism gives us the answer scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2384

**2384 ***Divorce *is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign.

Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:

If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.178

2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society. [2386](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/2386.htm’) It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.179

This is not to dispute the Catechism, but to expand upon it. If a couple is in an invalid marriage (which will later be determined by a competent marriage tribunal), the legal matter of a divorce is a necessity. It is not necessarily a sin–we have to put the words of the Catechism into proper context. When the Catechism speaks of divorce, the Church is specifically addressing the issue of a divorce in the context of a valid marriage. The final sentence of #2386 speaks of a “canonically valid marriage”; let us not neglect to make that point.

 

[EasterJoy]

This is not to dispute the Catechism, but to expand upon it. If a couple is in an invalid marriage (which will later be determined by a competent marriage tribunal), the legal matter of a divorce is a necessity. It is not necessarily a sin–we have to put the words of the Catechism into proper context. When the Catechism speaks of divorce, the Church is specifically addressing the issue of a divorce in the context of a valid marriage. The final sentence of #2386 speaks of a “canonically valid marriage”; let us not neglect to make that point.

Yes. In fact, I have been told that the Church will not investigate nullity on a marriage before it has been civilly dissolved.

I am assuming that a couple seeking a convalidation, which implies prior lack of canonical form, are the exception? Or do they just arrange for the convalidation without pursuing a decree of nullity, as one would for a provisional baptism? I don’t know the answer to this.

 

[EasterJoy]

I know it’s not a sin to divorce, if one doesn’t remarry, but most Catholics I know, have gone through the annulment process, at least. My sister isn’t going to.

Please advise…thanks!

The annulment process becomes more difficult with the passage of years. Witnesses become older and sometimes die, and the events surrounding the marrige becoming murkier in memory. Former spouses move away and become more difficult to contact. If your sister does not believe her marriage to have been valid and does not rule out the possibility of dating again, she might want to reconsider her choice.

Having said that, going through a divorce is incredibly difficult. There may be a lot of sadness and denial about what took place, and very hard feelings about marriage in general. It is pretty normal to want to put all “processes” behind one, at least for awhile. If she doesn’t intend to pursue a decree of nullity now, I’d let the matter drop for the time being.

 

[FrDavid96]

Yes. In fact, I have been told that the Church will not investigate nullity on a marriage before it has been civilly dissolved.

I am assuming that a couple seeking a convalidation, which implies prior lack of canonical form, are the exception? Or do they just arrange for the convalidation without pursuing a decree of nullity, as one would for a provisional baptism? I don’t know the answer to this.

In the case of a convalidation, there is no petition for declaration of nullity (not for the marriage that is being convalidated).

The permission of the bishop is required though before the convalidation can occur, and in most dioceses that means sending (at least a copy of) the pre-marital paperwork to the diocese.