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Gift_from_God
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The thread title says it all
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kage_ar
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From the Catechism:
**2383 **The *separation *of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2383.htm
Of course, a civil divorce is only a civil action - one is not free to date or remarry simply because they have a civil divorce.
**2383 **The *separation *of spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases provided for by canon law.
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2383.htm
Of course, a civil divorce is only a civil action - one is not free to date or remarry simply because they have a civil divorce.
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06convert
Guest
There are 2 kinds of marriage. The sacramental marriage that the Church recognizes and the marriage that your state recognizes according to civil law.
Getting married according to civil law has nothing to do with the church, therefore you are not validly married in the eyes of the Church and acting as though you are married is morally wrong. You can get divorced and re-married according to civil law dozens of times and none of them are sacramentally legitimate. In the eyes of the Church you have never been married. If you have maritial relations with that person, you are adultorous.
If you have a valid sacramental marriage in the church. Then, the answer to your question is no, divorce is never ok. It’s never even granted. You can get a legal civil divorce, seperating yourself from the person legally, but in the eyes of the Church you are always and forever married. The church will not remarry you to someone else. Again, if you get married “legally” the church doesn’t recognize this and again, if you have marital relations you are adultorous.
The only way you can get out of a sacramental marriage is to prove that the marriage was invalid and have it annulled. But even this isn’t a divorce. It’s just dissolved as if it never happened. Although you would still have to go through the legal divorce according to local law.
Getting married according to civil law has nothing to do with the church, therefore you are not validly married in the eyes of the Church and acting as though you are married is morally wrong. You can get divorced and re-married according to civil law dozens of times and none of them are sacramentally legitimate. In the eyes of the Church you have never been married. If you have maritial relations with that person, you are adultorous.
If you have a valid sacramental marriage in the church. Then, the answer to your question is no, divorce is never ok. It’s never even granted. You can get a legal civil divorce, seperating yourself from the person legally, but in the eyes of the Church you are always and forever married. The church will not remarry you to someone else. Again, if you get married “legally” the church doesn’t recognize this and again, if you have marital relations you are adultorous.
The only way you can get out of a sacramental marriage is to prove that the marriage was invalid and have it annulled. But even this isn’t a divorce. It’s just dissolved as if it never happened. Although you would still have to go through the legal divorce according to local law.
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chain
Guest
Divorce is a legal procedure. It can be appropriate (and necessary) to protect a spouse and/or children.
Divorce as a means to end a sacramental marriage does not exist.
Divorce as a means to end a sacramental marriage does not exist.
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larry85704
Guest
Yes.
Simple question, simple answer.
In cases where continuing to be married is endangering the health of one of the parties involved divorce is required. Specifically, if an adult is molesting a child get a divorce. If someone is having an affair, get a divorce.
Should you forgive and forget your spouse if he or she has really bad behavior? Sure. Forgive them but don’t stay married to them.
Now, if you have a sacramental marriage are the rules different? Sure, but there is one small problem, how do I know that I have a sacramental marriage? You know, sacramental involves more that where you were married. It involves how you live every day. Just like saying you are a Catholic doesn’t mean you are Catholic. Saying I am a woman doesn’t make me one.
So, I guess if two can marry, one can destroy that marriage, even if it is sacramental. I think if you have and are in the process of having a sacramental marriage you should not divorce under any conditions. But I also believe that people in a sacramental marriage do not beat one another, cheat on one another or degrade one another in any way ever.
Actions speak loud.
Simple question, simple answer.
In cases where continuing to be married is endangering the health of one of the parties involved divorce is required. Specifically, if an adult is molesting a child get a divorce. If someone is having an affair, get a divorce.
Should you forgive and forget your spouse if he or she has really bad behavior? Sure. Forgive them but don’t stay married to them.
Now, if you have a sacramental marriage are the rules different? Sure, but there is one small problem, how do I know that I have a sacramental marriage? You know, sacramental involves more that where you were married. It involves how you live every day. Just like saying you are a Catholic doesn’t mean you are Catholic. Saying I am a woman doesn’t make me one.
So, I guess if two can marry, one can destroy that marriage, even if it is sacramental. I think if you have and are in the process of having a sacramental marriage you should not divorce under any conditions. But I also believe that people in a sacramental marriage do not beat one another, cheat on one another or degrade one another in any way ever.
Actions speak loud.
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chaunceygardner
Guest
Most of the posters are answering the question differently than I would. My take on your question is more like: “Are there circumstances that would make a divorce necessary or the best option”? My answer to that is yes. There are obvious behaviors and situations which could make it so, and some have been already mentioned.The thread title says it all
The issue of the Marriage Sacrament still exists, but one sometimes must set that concern aside for the moment and deal with the civil aspect of marriage and divorce first if it is in the best interests of one of the parties or children.
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St_Francis
Guest
When a sacramental marriage occurs, grace is given to the two people. However, they can choose to accept and use that grace or not. How a marriage goes along has *no effect whatsoever *on the question of whether or not a sacramental marriage occurred. One cannot say, oh, things are going badly, so I guess it wasn’t a sacramental marriage after all, because there is no correlation there.Yes.
Simple question, simple answer.
In cases where continuing to be married is endangering the health of one of the parties involved divorce is required. Specifically, if an adult is molesting a child get a divorce. If someone is having an affair, get a divorce.
Should you forgive and forget your spouse if he or she has really bad behavior? Sure. Forgive them but don’t stay married to them.
Now, if you have a sacramental marriage are the rules different? Sure, but there is one small problem, how do I know that I have a sacramental marriage? You know, sacramental involves more that where you were married. It involves how you live every day. Just like saying you are a Catholic doesn’t mean you are Catholic. Saying I am a woman doesn’t make me one.
So, I guess if two can marry, one can destroy that marriage, even if it is sacramental. I think if you have and are in the process of having a sacramental marriage you should not divorce under any conditions. But I also believe that people in a sacramental marriage do not beat one another, cheat on one another or degrade one another in any way ever.
Actions speak loud.
So people in a sacramental marriage actually can act very badly towards their spouses and it’s still a sacramental marriage.
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larry85704
Guest
This brings up a very interesting point. Suppose you are married in a Church and, at the time, think you have a Sacramental Marriage. You and your spouse are, to the best of your ability, good Catholics. God then gives you Grace. He continues to give you Grace. I would say He gave you Grace when you started dating your spouse. At that time, life is good.
You still have free will. Nothing prevents you from exercising your free will to turn away from your spouse and God in the future. Personally, I cannot imagine how someone would want to do this, but it can happen and does, every day. So what about the God loving spouse that refuses to be a part of the sins that their spouse decides to commit? Would you say that they should continue to be linked to that person in marriage?
The Catholic Church does.
Or did. Honestly, I am not so sure anymore.
Perhaps the Church is examining the life of the people that got married. If the people are mature and mentally competent when they get married then the Marriage is deemed to be valid. If the people get married and then the wife, for example, is immediately unfaithful then the Church states that the wife was never really aware of what she was getting into and was not mentally competent to enter into marriage. Hence, the marriage never truly existed.
It is complicated.
I think marriage puts God on the spot. I think it puts our faith on the spot. You know, a put up or shut up time. Does being a Catholic make you holy? If you and your spouse have and maintain a Sacramental Marriage then the answer is yes, for you. If you and your spouse do everything right according to the Church and God should you expect to be happy together till you die? Yes, without question.
So is it fair to say that if you get a divorce, or if you are unhappy in your marriage, that you are not living a good Catholic life and loving God? I think so.
Are you a bad person, and that is a moral judgement, because you are not happy in your marriage? Yes, you are. Maybe your spouse is worse, maybe not. What you need to do is fix it. Start with yourself. Get help starting with your spouse. I am pretty sure that is what God wants you to do.
Don’t get offended, we are all bad people sometimes. We are forgiven, remember?
But if you still need to get a divorce, maybe your pastor tells you to get one, then do it. And be open to getting married again. It is your personal decision. Will you go to hell? Maybe, I don’t know. But being in a Sacramental Marriage is very good for your relationship with God, it is very good for your life. I wish the Church was more effective about educating people on what sorts of things to do in a marriage and what things not to do, but it is what it is.
You still have free will. Nothing prevents you from exercising your free will to turn away from your spouse and God in the future. Personally, I cannot imagine how someone would want to do this, but it can happen and does, every day. So what about the God loving spouse that refuses to be a part of the sins that their spouse decides to commit? Would you say that they should continue to be linked to that person in marriage?
The Catholic Church does.
Or did. Honestly, I am not so sure anymore.
Perhaps the Church is examining the life of the people that got married. If the people are mature and mentally competent when they get married then the Marriage is deemed to be valid. If the people get married and then the wife, for example, is immediately unfaithful then the Church states that the wife was never really aware of what she was getting into and was not mentally competent to enter into marriage. Hence, the marriage never truly existed.
It is complicated.
I think marriage puts God on the spot. I think it puts our faith on the spot. You know, a put up or shut up time. Does being a Catholic make you holy? If you and your spouse have and maintain a Sacramental Marriage then the answer is yes, for you. If you and your spouse do everything right according to the Church and God should you expect to be happy together till you die? Yes, without question.
So is it fair to say that if you get a divorce, or if you are unhappy in your marriage, that you are not living a good Catholic life and loving God? I think so.
Are you a bad person, and that is a moral judgement, because you are not happy in your marriage? Yes, you are. Maybe your spouse is worse, maybe not. What you need to do is fix it. Start with yourself. Get help starting with your spouse. I am pretty sure that is what God wants you to do.
Don’t get offended, we are all bad people sometimes. We are forgiven, remember?
But if you still need to get a divorce, maybe your pastor tells you to get one, then do it. And be open to getting married again. It is your personal decision. Will you go to hell? Maybe, I don’t know. But being in a Sacramental Marriage is very good for your relationship with God, it is very good for your life. I wish the Church was more effective about educating people on what sorts of things to do in a marriage and what things not to do, but it is what it is.
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