Is divorce really a thing approved by God?

[vasevatuikoro]

Mark 10 : 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

I was brought up with the first Vatican teachings and have always tried my best to practice on this planet.Time came and I got married then my husband left me. It’s been three years now that we’ve separated, but we talk for the sake of our kids.Last month he lodged a divorce case and told me that he wanted to have the divorce legally done only and that he would keep his promises to God and to the church.I was so frightened when I learnt what he planned and then he told me that even the Catholic church now believes in having annulments to those who intend to divorce. I on the other hand am thinking and asking myself that if God does not want us to undo what he has done, who then are we to go against him?He clearly stated to the people in this story[Mark 10: 1 -11] that because of the greediness and the hardness of the people’s heart,during Moses’s time,he let them write a bill of divorcement.
Please tell me,are we right in the eyes of God to judge someone or is it better for him alone do that for us?

 

[TripleR]

Vaseva,

May God bless you and give you strength during this difficult time. And He WILL bless you for taking his words so seriously and to heart. Too many too easily dismiss Jesus’s prohibition of divorce and remarriage.

Is there any hope of reconciliation with your husband? That would be the Church’s first advice, I believe. If there is no hope of reconciliation, a legal divorce may be a prudent thing to pursue (to protect yourself legally) and is not sinful in the eyes of the Church. In fact, I don’t believe you can pursue annulment proceedings unless a legal divorce has taken place… but you seem to believe your marriage was valid. I will pray that a reconciliation is possible.

 

[vasevatuikoro]

Thank you for your advice and prayers.
At this very moment I don’t really see the two of us getting back together again. I think I still can not accept what he did and therefore is too early to reconcile.Is this a sin? Would I be asked by the church and by God, why I could not forgive him?
I have even advised him that if he proceeds with the case, I would not be there to take part in it [afraid of being blamed by God]. If he wins, is it ok if I just offer myself to God as his servant? Right now, I am interested in going to other parts of the world, spreading the good news. I am really praying for that and I ask for all your prayers too.
GOD HELP ME WITH THIS DECISION OF MINE!!!

 

[TripleR]

Try not to give up hope for reconciliation with your husband. Pray for it! With God all things are possible. Forgiveness can be incredibly difficult sometimes. But Jesus does command us to forgive, as we, too, have been forgiven by him. Maybe it would help to think of forgiving your husband as an act of the will, not a feeling. You may still feel angry and hurt, but you can decide and choose to forgive him. Forgiving doesn’t mean you excuse what the wrong was or are able to trust the person again right away. It simply means you do your best to let go of your anger and do not hold the sin against that person. Ask God to help you forgive. If you do it with your mind and will, perhaps eventually your feelings will follow.

I understand why you would not want to participate at all in the divorce proceedings. The only reason I said you may have to have a legal divorce is to protect yourself… if your husband can’t be trusted and you have bank accounts, etc., in common, you could have problems.

Your desire to offer yourself to God is beautiful. It’s all we can do, at any point in our lives. Especially when suffering comes, what is there to say except, “For the sake of His sorrowful Passion-- and my suffering, too-- have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

Do you have a priest you can talk to?

“He has not created me for naught-- I shall do good, I shall do his work, I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place while not intending it if I do but keep his commandments. THEREFORE I WILL TRUST HIM. Whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may service him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what he is about.” – Cardinal Newman

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

For good reasons, the Church allows and has no problem with civil divorce. The Church recognizes that a lot of times, one person of the couple may need to start proceedings to protect property or the rights of children.

What the Church does not approve is one member of a couple getting married in a civil ceremony or another ecclesial group when that couple has not had their marriage examined by a tribunal through the decree of nullity process (annulment), receiving an answer that the marriage indeed did not exist in the first place because of a defect.

 

[vasevatuikoro]

I thank each and everyone out there who took time to read my thread. I believe I can now move on now that I have seen enough answers to my query.:bowdown2:
A big ‘Thank you’ to you Tripple R for looking into this matter seriously. I really have learnt best advices from you and I pray that God will always be there with you to help you provide to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who will one day turn to this page for advices.God Bless you.
I am now ready to do whatever is required by the court and I pray for happiness and good life for the couple in their future.
Now is the time to forgive and forget for it is still Lenten season.:tiphat:

 

[manualman]

Just to be clear, the concept of an anullment is NOT a modernist invention and predates Vatican II by CENTURIES.

A decree of nullity is not a ‘catholic divorce’, but a recognition that not everyone who stands in front of a priest and says “I do” is actually ‘joined by God.’

For an extreme example, imagine you were kidnapped and told that if you didn’t look happy and say ‘I do’ you’d be murdered. Regardless of how pretty the church or proper the ceremony, the marriage would not be valid. God doesn’t join two if one or both don’t consent.

The anullment process is one of heartfelt investigation of whether the apparrent marriage ever really was a sacramental marriage (i.e. God joined the two of you). If there was a defect that made one or both of you unable to give true consent to the marriage (usually MUCH more subtle than my example!) then you might not ever have been sacramentally married.

 

[Phemie]

The annulment process is one of heartfelt investigation of whether the apparent marriage ever really was a sacramental marriage (i.e. God joined the two of you). NO, it’s to see whether or not it was a VALID marriage. If there was a defect that made one or both of you unable to give true consent to the marriage (usually MUCH more subtle than my example!) then you might not ever have been sacramentally married. While one can never be in an INVALID SACRAMENTAL marriage, one may be in a VALID UN-SACRAMENTAL marriage.