Is estrangement a sin?

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I find that I cannot associate with my family without being infected (that is, having my Catholic faith negatively effected) by their extremely anti-Catholic and heretical beliefs. Am I commiting a sin if I choose to estrange myself from them for the sake of protecting my faith from their overt and covert spiritual attacks (that is to say, their undermining and distorting influence)?

If it helps to be specific, my family is Mormon. In the eyes of the Catholic Church they are not baptized, not because of an irregular formula, but because of their extreme theological irregularities which prevents the possibility of correct intention. (Reference:
ewtn.com/library/theology/mormbap1.htm )

Also, when I say family, I mean parents and siblings, etc. I am not married nor do I have any children.
 
Tormentd said:
I find that I cannot associate with my family without being infected (that is, having my Catholic faith negatively effected) by their extremely anti-Catholic and heretical beliefs. Am I commiting a sin if I choose to estrange myself from them for the sake of protecting my faith from their overt and covert spiritual attacks (that is to say, their undermining and distorting influence)?

If it helps to be specific, my family is Mormon. In the eyes of the Catholic Church they are not baptized, not because of an irregular formula, but because of their extreme theological irregularities which prevents the possibility of correct intention. (Reference:
ewtn.com/library/theology/mormbap1.htm )

Also, when I say family, I mean parents and siblings, etc. I am not married nor do I have any children.
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In my opinion, you are not obligated to spend any time in a relationship that is unhealthy for you. I am not talking about being merely annoying, but those whose presence can do you physical or psychological harm. If it will impact your faith, then I believe it qualifies.

I am having a similar dilemma with my brother and his family. They are all very negative people, yelling and cursing at each other constantly. I refuse to spend time with them even at holidays in order to protect my 20 month old son from such behavior. I see no sin in that at all.

That said, I do pray for them.

Jeff
 
Gee, I don’t know and I am an not a theologian but I am unfortunately very familiar with family alienation issues. Short posts about such issues make it difficult to offer particular advice. I think if you are a bit insecure about your faith, keep studing and praying and respect your family and attend as many family events as possible. Acknowledge the usual family good and bad news appropriately. If you are estranged because of a some sort of of “holier than thou” demeanor because you have the truth (which you have) you might want to maintain family ties and non-confrontationaly just excuse yourself from Mormon rituals. I don’t know if this would include weddings or funerals. Perhaps your silent witnessing will cause others to reconsider their beliefs. I think in general you have to be open to family ties and treat family with respect but not at a real risk of severely compromising one’s faith. But if family interactions are just too painful and unpleasant, a loving withdrawal (I know how odd this sounds) may be the only option. The family is natural and pre-political and this gives it special status. I am very aware that this might be easier to say than to do. It is really tough to maintain one’s integrity and yet respect family in such a situation. I really hope that others will respond to your question since I think your situation is all too common. I also hope to learn from the responses of others.
 
You would know better than any of us if the situation is dangerous for you. Most of us are not from Mormon families.

I have not spent much time around Mormons, so all I know is hearsay. However, if even half of what I have heard about the strong tactics they use against apostates is true, I’d stay as far away from them as I could get, family or no.
 
Being apart from them would not be sinful, per se, but you must remember to “honor your father and mother.” In your case I think that would be best served through prayer and possibly fasting for them.

I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know that it can be tough.
 
There’s different kinds of estrangement. There’s the polite avoidance kind, but you show love and send cards and gifts. Then there is the hostile kind. Where you cross the street to avoid them and refuse to speak when you encounter them. I’d suspect the second kind is sinful. If one must keep a distance for psychological health, then one should maintain kindness about it.
 
I had a couple of priests explain to me that this is how to handle this situation.

If it is detrimental to your well being, spiritual, emotional and or physical then yes you can physically remove yourself from the situation. BUT and it is a BIG BUT, it is your obligation to pray about the matter and to pray for the situations that have created this estrangement to change.

I think this is important. I have a situation that hurts me very much. But, it is in Gods hands and I can think of no better hands for the situation to be in.😃

Hope this helps. I know that nothing changes the hurt but all the hours on your knees with God sure are hours well spent.👍
 
I cannot answer from a religion standpoint but my wife and I were told by more than one priest to stay away from her family.

Her father was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive to my wife as a child. Her mother stood by and never put a stop to it.

He will never see his grandchildren again. My wife used to fall to pieces if they called our home.

It is very important for your mental and spiritual health to surround yourself with healthy people.

Steer clear of poison.
 
Thanks all, for your advice. It’s very helpful to me as I try to sort out what to do. Overall, the situation with my family is that the relationship has always been distant and strained and my conversion was finally the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had thought that me finding faith would somehow give me something more in common with my family but actually it seems to have instilled in me a direction and set of values that couldn’t be more oppositional. (don’t Catholic and Mormons value many of the same things? yes, but not for the same reasons, not in the same way, not with the same intent, and not with the same faith or hope or charity) It’s hard to describe but the spirit of Mormonism is NOT the spirit of Catholicism and these two spirits do NOT like each other and they are most definitely at war with each other and that’s a battle that I don’t want to be standing in the middle of. I chose the side that I wanted to fight for but I’m not trained nor equipped for the front lines–I’m too battle scarred and shell-shocked as it is. The only way that I find I am able to pray for my family is to direct my petition to the patroness of missions–St. Therese of Lisieux, ora pro nobis.

One thing I found that helped a lot too was an article from the Catholic Encyclopedia on Heresy. It’s kind of a long quote but I think it explains a lot: “The role of heresy in history is that of evil generally. Its roots are in corrupted human nature. It has come over the Church as predicted by her Divine Founder; it has rent asunder the bonds of charity in families, provinces, states, and nations; the sword has been drawn and pyres erected both for its defence and its repression; misery and ruin have followed in its track. The prevalence of heresy, however, does not disprove the Divinity of the Church, any more than the existence of evil disproves the existence of an all-good God. Heresy, like other evils, is permitted as a test of faith and a trial of strength in the Church militant; probably also as a punishment for other sins. The disruption and disintegration of heretical sects also furnishes a solid argument for the necessity of a strong teaching authority. The endless controversies with heretics have been indirectly the cause of most important doctrinal developments and definitions formulated in councils to the edification of the body of Christ. …”
newadvent.org/cathen/07256b.htm

This gives me hope that something good can come from my personal experience and situation, but it will be for the benefit of The Church.
 
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