Is flirting immoral?

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St.Sharky

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OK, heres a question Ive wanted to ask for a while.

I have a number of female friends, a number of which I flirt with on a regular basis. Flirting is here defined as making semi scandalous comments and suggestions but in no way acting on them, or even thinking about them 5 minutes after the occasion has passed.

Before you guys answer I would like to reiterate that it is all done in jest and none if it is ever taken seriously or acted on.

Is this a sinful activity, and will I have to repent?
 
Of course it is, at least from the definition you give. Because it is founded in temptation.
Is it based on lust? Is it based simply on wanting the quick ‘thrill’ of flirting?
How is that Christian?
Those females are someone’s daughters, someone’s sister
a fellow child of God
and your sister in Christ

Every time you want to flirt, pray for them and offer up your temptations.

This is how I view it, any other thoughts?
 
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Mordocai:
Of course it is, at least from the definition you give. Because it is founded in temptation.
Is it based on lust? Is it based simply on wanting the quick ‘thrill’ of flirting?
How is that Christian?
Those females are someone’s daughters, someone’s sister
a fellow child of God
and your sister in Christ

Every time you want to flirt, pray for them and offer up your temptations.

This is how I view it, any other thoughts?
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OK, so for example say I am in a break between classes in the library of my school, and one of my female friends taps me on the shoulder, and begins to flirt, am I to turn my back and pray for her?
 
I speak of prayer as silent prayer, in your mind and heart offering God your prayers, not openly getting on your knees, folding your hands and proclaiming your words out loud.

It’s the best defense against temptation: prayer.
ever seen the Passion? when Christ is in the garden and the devil appears, immediately Christ prays for the Father’s support and protection.

Am I saying it’s mortal sin to flirt? no, but it was Jesus who said “even if you look on a woman with lust you’ve already committed adultery with her in your heart”

therefore, IN MY OPINION (which i think the catholic world view supports this) it is best to avoid the occasion of sin (flirting)

else you may be ‘flirting with the devil’ so to speak. telling yourself “it wont go past this point” is like daring the devil “you cant get me past this, but i’ll go your way up to this line only”

what do you think?

God Bless!
Mordocai
 
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Mordocai:
It’s the best defense against temptation: prayer.
ever seen the Passion?

God Bless!
Mordocai
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God knows I did, it just got too bloody and unnecessarily and elaborately violent for me to get any positive message from it in the end
 
watched it last night actually and it makes you think 'wow He went through even WORSE things"

really makes you contemplate Mary’s role in all of it too.
 
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St.Sharky:
OK, so for example say I am in a break between classes in the library of my school, and one of my female friends taps me on the shoulder, and begins to flirt, am I to turn my back and pray for her?
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This is a great opportunity to see prayer at work. When this happens, I have started to pray for the Grace necessary to make a difference in this person’s spiritual growth. People are responding to me in a whole new different way. :angel1:
 
IF you’re both single and unattached, it should be just fine. How else will you ever interact with and attract a future mate. Part of growing up is learning how to communicate with members of the opposite sex. It is especially important in a good marriage.

Flirting is perfectly natural, but if either is attached, it should avoided.

Some folks (even if married) do it in good humor and that is perfectly fine if it is purely a joke. BUT some take things too far and it could lead to trouble if it gets out of hand. Most people can tell if it is only a joke or more suggestive than that.
 
Joking can be misunderstood. Just be sure that you aren’t sending the wrong message to mislead someone.
 
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wcknight:
IF you’re both single and unattached, it should be just fine. How else will you ever interact with and attract a future mate. Part of growing up is learning how to communicate with members of the opposite sex. It is especially important in a good marriage.

Flirting is perfectly natural, but if either is attached, it should avoided.

Some folks (even if married) do it in good humor and that is perfectly fine if it is purely a joke. BUT some take things too far and it could lead to trouble if it gets out of hand. Most people can tell if it is only a joke or more suggestive than that.
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I dont think this is representative of the Catholic position.

Flirting, as in making semi-scandalous comments about another person is defnitely not alright.

If a female friend taps you on the shoulder, you respond as you would to Mary or any of the saints.

You treat them with respect and dignity, just as you would any other person.

In Christ.

Andre.
 
Flirting does NOT have to include making semi-scandalous remarks. Flirting could just be innocent and idle chatter.
 
I think flirting is a part of courting. If you are flirting, and are committed in another relationship, then I think it could be viewed as ‘immoral,’ or just plain RUDE! LOL

But, flirting is part of having some fun…as long as it’s not distasteful. As long as you’re single, of course. :cool: My definition is when someone seems to be trying to court you…ask you out…shows some interest beyond friends…that’s flirting. Could be a giggle that lasts a little too long with someone, and you know the joke wasn’t all that funny. Complimenting someone over and over…or even just cracking jokes to get someone’s attention. I think these are harmless ways of flirting, but when they borderline sexual commentary, or touching where it seems wrong…then it might be considered immoral.

Hope that helps!
WG 🙂
 
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Magicsilence:
I dont think this is representative of the Catholic position.

Flirting, as in making semi-scandalous comments about another person is defnitely not alright.

If a female friend taps you on the shoulder, you respond as you would to Mary or any of the saints.

You treat them with respect and dignity, just as you would any other person.

In Christ.

Andre.
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Where did this definition come out of–flirting is semi-scandulous? I’ve never heard of it described that way. Flirting can be very fun and playful…a way that two people show one another…hey I’m interested in you. I’m a devout Catholic, and I flirted with my hubby (still do! ha!) before we were married…it was fun…whimsical…playful. No harm done. If harm is done, and it’s classless and sexual…then, it’s not flirting…it’s gross.

Just my two cents.
 
If you’re trying to be a good Christian, you will always have to consider your motive for doing anything.

So why would you flirt with someone? It doesn’t seem to be an honest communication. And it does seem designed to enhance your own pleasure while possibly deceiving another party that you have a “special” interest in them.

You’re in real spiritual trouble if the one you have an interest in is already married or engaged.

When you say that there is absolutely no intention of any kind of follow through and that it is all in jest…then truly, you are gaining pleasure for yourself at the expense of another — worse yet if you both agree that is what you are doing. In that case, you are giving each other permission to “misuse” the other.

Maybe it would be an admirable goal to try and replace flirting with honest communication – a point of maturity in any relationship.
 
*When you say that there is absolutely no intention of any kind of follow through and that it is all in jest…then truly, you are gaining pleasure for yourself at the expense of another — worse yet if you both agree that is what you are doing. In that case, you are giving each other permission to “misuse” the other.

Maybe it would be an admirable goal to try and replace flirting with honest communication – a point of maturity in any relationship.*

I don’t disagree…but playful communication can be fun. Not all flirting is bad, but I don’t believe in playing head games, and looking to misuse the other…that point I agree with.
 
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St.Sharky:
God knows I did, it just got too bloody and unnecessarily and elaborately violent for me to get any positive message from it in the end
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The Crucifiction of our Lord was extremely bloody and violent. The movie reminded me of how great the Love of Our Lord and His perfect obedience to the Will of the Father.

I find myself praying, “Lord, thank You for enduring for our salvation. Lord, I am so sorry you had to endure that violent death for me”, each time I remember the violent scenes from that movie.

With that said, one does not need to be scandalous or suggestive in order to flirt.
 
Yea like people here are saying there’s different kinds of flirting.

Too much flirting can be scandalous (ie, it tempts someone else to fall in to sin). IMHO girls flirting with guys is worse than the other way around cause with lots of guys, well we know what’s on our minds half the time and we don’t need any extra encouragement… not sure how likely it is to affect when it’s the other way around.

If someone else flirts with you it’s not you who is doing the wrong thing… it doesn’t mean you should turn your back on them (unless it is disturbing you) but you don’t have to flirt back either.

Mild flirting (like as you say, when it’s all in fun and nothing serious is meant by it) should be okay. On the one hand you don’t know how you affect another person, but on the other hand, how they are affected is partly their responsibility anyway.

Flirting that would lead either you or them to sin is bad. Flirting when you know no one is affected is okay as far as I know.
 
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St.Sharky:
God knows I did, it just got too bloody and unnecessarily and elaborately violent for me to get any positive message from it in the end
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St. Sharky:

I’m sorry you didn’t get anything out of it, because the film is accurate.

That’s what Jesus went through for us.

I pretty much felt as you did the first time I saw it - I was looking from the Jewish perspective,

The second time I saw it, I couldn’t stop crying or marvelling at how much HE loved me and what HE did for me.

Michael
 
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