Is Flirting Sinful?

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First off, I want to say that is am not much of a flirt. Furthermore, when I say flirting, I don’t mean the way the world sees it, i.e. hair flipping, touching the other person, dressing immodestly, etc, rather just letting a friend know you might be interested in him.
I have been friends with a guy for years, we are both catholic and like similar things, and he is smart and funny. I find him to be someone who I could see myself in a relationship with. So is flirting; making eye contact, complimenting him, and the like sinful.
In case anyone is wondering, yes I would be just as happy if we were nothing more than friends.

Sorry, I didn’t know where else to post this.
 
No, it’s not sinful.

If you couldn’t tell someone you were interested in them, it’s be really difficult for anyone to get married.
 
The question (thread title) is extremely general, so the answer is “it depends.”

In the scenario you describe and with the behavior you present as an example, it’s not sinful. As pensmama said, it would be tough to find someone to marry if we couldn’t let other people know we’re interested 😉
 
No, it’s not sinful.

If you couldn’t tell someone you were interested in them, it’s be really difficult for anyone to get married.
Yeah. If we couldn’t do that stuff, we’d all die alone (barring an arranged marriage). I’d even say that a certain amount of hair flipping and occasional arm touching is just fine (although I don’t think I could have ever pulled off hair flipping myself).

Just leave the poor guy space to back out if he’s not interested. So don’t literally say “I REALLY LIKE YOU.”
 
Yeah. If we couldn’t do that stuff, we’d all die alone (barring an arranged marriage). I’d even say that a certain amount of hair flipping and occasional arm touching is just fine (although I don’t think I could have ever pulled off hair flipping myself).

Just leave the poor guy space to back out if he’s not interested. So don’t literally say “I REALLY LIKE YOU.”
I did the hair-flipping thing. After that, he didn’t stand a chance.

…okay, not really. 😛 But seriously—I’m a person who likes to touch other people. You know that crazy lady in your parish who hugs everyone? That’s me. So an arm touch alone wasn’t going to tell any man that I was interested in him. They’d all just think, “She does that to everybody.” Enter the hair flip. Without it, I might still be single. :o

On the “I REALLY LIKE YOU” thing: agreed. No need to be that direct :eek:
 
First off, I want to say that is am not much of a flirt. Furthermore, when I say flirting, I don’t mean the way the world sees it, i.e. hair flipping, touching the other person, dressing immodestly, etc, rather just letting a friend know you might be interested in him.
I have been friends with a guy for years, we are both catholic and like similar things, and he is smart and funny. I find him to be someone who I could see myself in a relationship with. So is flirting; making eye contact, complimenting him, and the like sinful.
In case anyone is wondering, yes I would be just as happy if we were nothing more than friends.

Sorry, I didn’t know where else to post this.
The answer to your question, as others have said, is that it depends. I’ll just fill in what it depends on.

Your state in life determines whether you should be flirting. If you are of marriageable age, have no other attachments, and have the proper intention of flirting in order to marry, be open to life, and give yourself to the other person, then it is absolutely appropriate to flirt when you are attracted to someone.

So you need to answer the question yourself. Are you old enough to marry? Are you mentally disposed to marry? Are your intentions in the right place? Are you unattached (that is, not securely connected to or held) by a previous marital or even emotional bond to another person?

If your answers are yes, then the answer to your question is probably, “No, it’s not sinful to flirt.”

🙂
 
hehe, my first thought on seeing the thread title was that there would be one sin I’d never have to worry about committing 🙂
 
Well, what else r u going to do with a good looking man?
But I do agree with everything said above.
:whistle:
Only joking: pls dont take it too seriously :rotfl:
 
The question (thread title) is extremely general, so the answer is “it depends.”

In the scenario you describe and with the behavior you present as an example, it’s not sinful. As pensmama said, it would be tough to find someone to marry if we couldn’t let other people know we’re interested 😉
Exactly!

The following describes the kind of behavior that is forbidden, even though some people try to excuse it as “just flirting.” Clearly, it isn’t the way one would go about finding a suitable spouse!

Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no immoral or impure or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient. So do not be associated with them. (Eph. 5:3-7)
 
Exactly!

The following describes the kind of behavior that is forbidden, even though some people try to excuse it as “just flirting.” Clearly, it isn’t the way one would go about finding a suitable spouse!

Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no immoral or impure or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient. So do not be associated with them. (Eph. 5:3-7)
We’re Catholics, not Puritans! :D.
 
We’re Catholics, not Puritans! :D.
Well, since the Puritans were anti-Catholic practically by self-definition, that much ought to be obvious. 😉 😃

Having said that, let us be careful that we do not equate attachment to worldly attitudes concerning sex as some kind of a virtuous “avoidance of Puritanism.” That is not exactly what St. Teresa meant when she said she wanted to be spared the company of sour-faced saints! The word “puritanical” is sometimes used in defense of blatant impurity, and St. Paul would be having none of that! We cannot fool ourselves into thinking that he was not very well acquainted with worldly attitudes concerning what is or is not “innocent fun.”

C.S. Lewis described what I mean in Chapter 10 of The Screwtape Letters:

*No doubt he must very soon realise that his own faith is in direct opposition to the assumptions on which all the conversation of his new friends is based. I don’t think that matters much provided that you can persuade him to postpone any open acknowledgment of the fact, and this, with the aid of shame, pride, modesty and vanity, will be easy to do. As long as the postponement lasts he will be in a false position. He will be silent when he ought to speak and laugh when he ought to be silent. He will assume, at first only by his manner, but presently by his words, all sorts of cynical and sceptical attitudes which are not really his. But if you play him well, they may become his. All mortals tend to turn into the thing they are pretending to be. This is elementary. The real question is how to prepare for the Enemy’s counter attack.

The first thing is to delay as long as possible the moment at which he realises this new pleasure as a temptation. Since the Enemy’s servants have been preaching about “the World” as one of the great standard temptations for two thousand years, this might seem difficult to do. But fortunately they have said very little about it for the last few decades. In modern Christian writings, though I see much (indeed more than I like) about Mammon, I see few of the old warnings about Worldly Vanities, the Choice of Friends, and the Value of Time. All that, your patient would probably classify as “Puritanism”—and may I remark in passing that the value we have given to that word is one of the really solid triumphs of the last hundred years? By it we rescue annually thousands of humans from temperance, chastity, and sobriety of life.

Sooner or later, however, the real nature of his new friends must become clear to him, and then your tactics must depend on the patient’s intelligence. If he is a big enough fool you can get him to realise the character of the friends only while they are absent; their presence can be made to sweep away all criticism. If this succeeds, he can be induced to live, as I have known many humans live, for quite long periods, two parallel lives; he will not only appear to be, but actually be, a different man in each of the circles he frequents. Failing this, there is a subtler and more entertaining method. He can be made to take a positive pleasure in the perception that the two sides of his life are inconsistent. This is done by exploiting his vanity. He can be taught to enjoy kneeling beside the grocer on Sunday just because he remembers that the grocer could not possibly understand the urbane and mocking world which he inhabited on Saturday evening; and contrariwise, to enjoy the bawdy and blasphemy over the coffee with these admirable friends all the more because he is aware of a “deeper”, “spiritual” world within him which they cannot understand. You see the idea—the worldly friends touch him on one side and the grocer on the other, and he is the complete, balanced, complex man who sees round them all. Thus, while being permanently treacherous to at least two sets of people, he will feel, instead of shame, a continual undercurrent of self-satisfaction. Finally, if all else fails, you can persuade him, in defiance of conscience, to continue the new acquaintance on the ground that he is, in some unspecified way, doing these people “good” by the mere fact of drinking their cocktails and laughing at their jokes, and that to cease to do so would be “priggish”, “intolerant”, and (of course) “Puritanical”.*
 
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