Is fornication a norm these days for both men and women?

[Mannyfit75]

I want to hear an opinion. Is fornication a norm now for single people, especially those who go to clubs. I seem to know this in the young generation and from young men, who all can think about is going to the club and have their way with women.

I have seen the prospective of men. How about women, do women view fornication a norm as well and acceptible?

 

[StCsDavid]

The deviance of sex outside of marriage was defined down by my Baby Boom generation, but honestly I believe Generation Y has better morals at their age than my generation ever did when we were the same age. As far as it being a norm, I would say it’s more socially acceptable. There doesn’t seem to be any scandal attached to “hooking up” with someone on a casual basis…though I believe kids are more discriminating today then when I was in my early 20s. Back then, it was pretty much a “love the one you’re with” mindset. Perhaps some you youngsters can chime in.

 

[1ke]

Many women mistakenly believe that sexual relationships are intimate relationship. They mistakenly believe that this is the path to marriage. Mainly due to the media depicting it this way.

It’s very sad.

No, I do not believe it is the “norm”, but I do believe it is portrayed that way in the media. If you watch many episodes of “Friends” you see that it’s portrayed as part of any relationship, no big deal, fun, recreational. The reality is quite different, and it’s leaving many scarred women in its wake.

I do not know **any **women who truly believe this or feel this way about sexual relationships.

What many woman have done (especially those with little religious grounding) is fake it. They think something is wrong with them because they can’t make themselves feel the way the media portrays relationships, so they act like it’s no big deal all the while hoping for something different.

 

[stbruno]

Cohabitation is on the rise therefore it logically follows that fornication is a norm.

 

[ForwardProgress]

My wife can’t understand why I think what “Friends” shows is unacceptable. (It’s her favorite show…catches the reruns all week…).

We are the minority in this case. Probably everyone but Muslims and non-cafeteria Catholics are ok with the show.

With that said, I do watch shows such as ‘The Sopranos’, which can involve some of the content…but it’s not glorifying it or showing it as ‘normal’.

 

[1ke]

Cohabitation is on the rise therefore it logically follows that fornication is a norm.

Crime is on the rise too, but that doesn’t make criminal activity “the norm”.

 

[Mannyfit75]

if society saw it is socially acceptible. It is never morally acceptible. I think society will pay for its what they have done.

 

[Island_Oak]

Many women mistakenly believe that sexual relationships are intimate relationship. They mistakenly believe that this is the path to marriage. Mainly due to the media depicting it this way.

I would completely disagree. I think most young single women–college, twenty-thirty somethings do NOT view sex as a path to marriage. Quite the opposite–they have discovered that they can indulge in a very full and active sex life without any need for marriage. I think this is particularly rampant on college campuses and in the club scene in larger metropolitan areas. Past “polite society” taboos against a smorgasbord of practices like performing sexual acts in public, in groups, in front of cameras, anonymously, in association with drug use and/or homosexual experimentation have long since fallen aside. There is no fear of pregnancy, a (foolish) underappreciation for the perils of STDs and a desire to try on many options of BEFORE commiting for the long-term–somewhat akin to shoe shopping in an expensive boutique.

There are few moral limits to the general approbation for this type of promiscuity that operate to slow this experimentation down. It scares me to death for the sake of my own daughters and proves that religious communities are needed more than ever to 1) make themselves relevant to young, urban singles and 2) to educate and support the lifestyle of those who do not choose to participate in this debauchery.

 

[CCM08]

Modern western soceity, whether it’s the US, UK, Germany, Russia, or any other part, is very fractured into sub-cultures. In some of them fornication is the norm of the sub-culture, others are far more traditionally minded than Gen X or the baby boomers were/are. We’re seeing this, for example, in the “right” ward direction Europe has taken after a couple generations of liberalism.
You mentioned the club scene, and I would tend to say that fornication is very much a part of that sub-culture. Just as are drugs, alcohol abuse, and inapporiate clothing. This is an interesting book on the so called “hook up” culture:
myspace.com/unhookedbook

 

[GregoryPalamas]

I would completely disagree. I think most young single women–college, twenty-thirty somethings do NOT view sex as a path to marriage. Quite the opposite–they have discovered that they can indulge in a very full and active sex life without any need for marriage. I think this is particularly rampant on college campuses and in the club scene in larger metropolitan areas. Past “polite society” taboos against a smorgasbord of practices like performing sexual acts in public, in groups, in front of cameras, anonymously, in association with drug use and/or homosexual experimentation have long since fallen aside. There is no fear of pregnancy, a (foolish) underappreciation for the perils of STDs and a desire to try on many options of BEFORE commiting for the long-term–somewhat akin to shoe shopping in an expensive boutique.

There are few moral limits to the general approbation for this type of promiscuity that operate to slow this experimentation down. It scares me to death for the sake of my own daughters and proves that religious communities are needed more than ever to 1) make themselves relevant to young, urban singles and 2) to educate and support the lifestyle of those who do not choose to participate in this debauchery.

You said it right. The promise ring movement is one hopeful sign. But without the community of faithful Christians to surround them I don’t think that there is a chance in h…l for a young person to resist the pressure.

CDL

 

[1ke]

I would completely disagree. I think most young single women–college, twenty-thirty somethings do NOT view sex as a path to marriage. Quite the opposite–they have discovered that they can indulge in a very full and active sex life without any need for marriage.

That’s fine if you disagree. What I was trying to point out, perhaps not very clearly, is that while this **behavior **does occur if you sit down and talk to these women they are really hoping for “Mr. Right” and feeling very mixed up about this casual dating environment. They don’t *really *view sex as for it’s own sake. They do these things because they’ve been brainwashed into thinking it’s the only way to get guys to notice them. They are often very confused and depressed when “hooking up” doesn’t turn into more.

So, there is sort of a schizophrenia going on-- what the girls are doing and what they are feeling. And, there are all sorts of social consequences when they cannot reconcile the two.

There have been several studies done on this, I just can’t find any links off the top of my head.

 

[ThuribleGuy45]

My wife can’t understand why I think what “Friends” shows is unacceptable. (It’s her favorite show…catches the reruns all week…).

We are the minority in this case. Probably everyone but Muslims and non-cafeteria Catholics are ok with the show.

With that said, I do watch shows such as ‘The Sopranos’, which can involve some of the content…but it’s not glorifying it or showing it as ‘normal’.

I think I just found my long-lost twin brother! All the otherwise-Catholic ladies in my life (wife, adult daughters) love “Friends,” have the DVD’s – and I won’t stay in the room when it’s on. That said, I am hooked on “Sopranos.” My only alibi is that, as a parochial school child of the 50’s and early 60’s, the clear message then was “Murder is clean; it’s SEX that’s dirty…” (Just kidding, all…sort of.)

 

[1ke]

I think I just found my long-lost twin brother! All the otherwise-Catholic ladies in my life (wife, adult daughters) love “Friends,” have the DVD’s – and I won’t stay in the room when it’s on.

I am a woman and I hate Friends. I think it’s brilliantly funny, but moral bankrupt. I don’t watch it, don’t own DVDs, etc.

That said, I am hooked on “Sopranos.”

This is no better than Friends, so don’t blame your wife for falling victim to Friends when you have done the same with a male equivalent.

 

[Abira]

I think it is common but not necessarily ‘these days’ as opposed to the supposedly angelic older generations lol…

That said, the last time i was in a club I sat down to have a drink and the woman sat next to me suddenly started to perform a sex act on her male partner in full view of everyone…(I’ve not been since - and I know a lot of people who do not got to clubs as they feel apart from this culture)

This being England no one said anything until they had left and almost everyone there thought it was disgusting but nobody was shocked by this…well I was…not at what they had done but at the fact that they had done t where everyone was trying to ignore it and pretend it wasn’t really happening!!

The whole ‘Friends’/‘Soprano’s’ thing is nothing new… look at shakespeare…everyone is seeing everyone else behind peoples backs…it’s like a modern soap opera…what’s that saying? There’s nothing new under the sun…

S

 

[Mirdath]

You said it right. The promise ring movement is one hopeful sign. But without the community of faithful Christians to surround them I don’t think that there is a chance in h…l for a young person to resist the pressure.

If you’re talking about what I think you are, isn’t dancing with your father in a white dress before ceremonially handing him the keys to your virginity just a little bit creepy?

 

[Abira]

If you’re talking about what I think you are, isn’t dancing with your father in a white dress before ceremonially handing him the keys to your virginity just a little bit creepy?

ok I’ve never ever heard of that…hopefully it won’t ever cross the atlantic…all I have to say about that is: ewwwwwww… an acedemic term for ick…

 

[Liberanosamalo]

'If you’re talking about what I think you are, isn’t dancing with your father in a white dress before ceremonially handing him the keys to your virginity just a little bit creepy?"

Yes! And there are a lot of men out there who are not worthy guardians of their daughter’s virtue.

I thought we got beyond that mentality too. A woman is in charge of her own virtue. The father would do better to be an example of what the daughter should look for in a trustworthy man than to be her jailer. (symbolically)

If he hasn’t communicated to her that this is about her relationship with God, then no white dress, dance and ring is going to make a difference.

And I agree with the poster about subcultures. If you go to clubs and raves and places like that, you will get that kind of crowd. Water seeks its own level. If you don’t like shallow, put your nets out into the deep.

 

[Abira]

And I agree with the poster about subcultures. If you go to clubs and raves and places like that, you will get that kind of crowd. Water seeks its own level. If you don’t like shallow, put your nets out into the deep.

This was a mainstream place…not really a subculture place…for older people clubs maybe are subculture but for younger people most socialise in pubs/bars/clubs so it’s mainstream/the norm…I’m not ready for knitting clubs yet lol

but water does definitely find its own level…

 

[Lady_Cygnus]

That’s fine if you disagree. What I was trying to point out, perhaps not very clearly, is that while this **behavior **does occur if you sit down and talk to these women they are really hoping for “Mr. Right” and feeling very mixed up about this casual dating environment. They don’t *really *view sex as for it’s own sake. They do these things because they’ve been brainwashed into thinking it’s the only way to get guys to notice them. They are often very confused and depressed when “hooking up” doesn’t turn into more.

So, there is sort of a schizophrenia going on-- what the girls are doing and what they are feeling. And, there are all sorts of social consequences when they cannot reconcile the two.

There have been several studies done on this, I just can’t find any links off the top of my head.

I can only speak of those I know who are in their 20’s now. One thing is for certain, sex is no longer something that should be reserved for marriage, but oftentimes they will be in “committed” relationships that are “long term” (1-3 years). Most are discerning with their choice of sex partners, but oftentimes it’s just long enough to determine that the person isn’t completely wretched.

As for women, I’ve seen three different reasons why they choose to fornicate. Most who are “hooking up” are actually looking for Mr Right and thought the only way to get him was to sleep with him. These women wait for Mr Right, but then fall into the trap of sleeping with him almost immediately and end up hurt when he turns out to be Mr Wrong.

Then there is another group of who have already messed up, but are still searching. They may have known that this particular guy wasn’t the right one, but a man wants experience in bed right? They have the dream of the romance novel love, the kind that’s at first sight and confirmed upon the bed, it just may take a few guys to find him.

This leads to the third kind, who have screwed up, been rapped, or otherwise feel themselves unworthy. These are the saddest ones, they are the ones who “don’t deserve a good guy, so they might as well “enjoy” while they are young.” It is difficult to reach them at that point, because they’ve completely brainwashed themselves into believing this.

 

[Lady_Cygnus]

If you’re talking about what I think you are, isn’t dancing with your father in a white dress before ceremonially handing him the keys to your virginity just a little bit creepy?

I thought the promise ring was a ring that a young woman wears to remind her that she is promised to her future spouse, whomever that may be. Reminding her to be chaste.

I’ve also heard of a promise ring that is like an engagement ring, but is before they are engaged. Kind of like they seriously seeing each other but not sleeping together so here is a reminder to be faithful.

I’ve never heard of the ceremony you mentioned.