Is frugality advice realistic?

[UbiCaritas]

3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap
1 box (55 oz) of washing soda
1 box (4 lb) of baking soda
1 box (4 lb 12 oz) of Borax
3.5 lbs Oxi Clean (optional, I always use it)

The most time consuming thing is grating the soap. You can use a food processor to do it if you wish (some people prefer that if they have HE machines). I just use an old grater, and in my HE top loader it works just fine and doesn’t gum up the machine.

Then you mix up everything in a 5 gallon bucket (you can line it with a trash bag if you wish). A yardstick is a good mixer. If you use the OxiClean, one tablespoon per load will be plenty. I tend to store most of it in the bucket, and then have a smaller container that lives over the washer.

All the ingredients are in the laundry aisle at Walmart, and that’s the cheapest place to get them in my experience.

I use white vinegar as a fabric softener and every month or so (basically, when I remember) I run a load just using the vinegar to clean the machine. I’ve been doing it for about three years now and my clothes seem to be just as clean as they ever have been.

I know that at this point I’m a bit OT, but I hope the OP will forgive me.

Two questions. First, do you use cloth diapers with a microfiber-ish lining, like Bum Genius, or are you using cotton? The reason I ask is that the recipe and savings sound appealing, but I’ve heard horror stories about buildup on BG-esque diapers (which I use for DD and love) with non-traditional detergents.

Second, does this really get all the smells out of clothes? To be blunt, I live in the South, and sweat…a LOT. In the past, when I’ve skimped on detergent, I’ve more than lost money in the situation because odor kind of builds up under the arms of the shirts, which then have to be thrown away and replaced. (Lest I horrify anyone too much in saying this, I should mention that I shower twice a day and use the appropriate products…it’s a body chemistry issue, not a cleanliness one!)

 

[pensmama87]

I know that at this point I’m a bit OT, but I hope the OP will forgive me.

Two questions. First, do you use cloth diapers with a microfiber-ish lining, like Bum Genius, or are you using cotton? The reason I ask is that the recipe and savings sound appealing, but I’ve heard horror stories about buildup on BG-esque diapers (which I use for DD and love) with non-traditional detergents.

Second, does this really get all the smells out of clothes? To be blunt, I live in the South, and sweat…a LOT. In the past, when I’ve skimped on detergent, I’ve more than lost money in the situation because odor kind of builds up under the arms of the shirts, which then have to be thrown away and replaced. (Lest I horrify anyone too much in saying this, I should mention that I shower twice a day and use the appropriate products…it’s a body chemistry issue, not a cleanliness one!)

I buy separate cloth diaper detergent. This type of detergent would build up in cloth diapers, even all cotton ones (I mostly use cotton prefolds.) The cheapest CD detergent I’ve found that works for our type of water is the BumGenius brand in the big bag on Amazon.

I haven’t noticed any smell issues. I do use it to wash clothes I’ve run in and don’t get build up. I think if you already know that your particular body chemistry makes those things an issue for you, you might need to use something in addition or instead of.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I buy separate cloth diaper detergent. This type of detergent would build up in cloth diapers, even all cotton ones (I mostly use cotton prefolds.) The cheapest CD detergent I’ve found that works for our type of water is the BumGenius brand in the big bag on Amazon.

I haven’t noticed any smell issues. I do use it to wash clothes I’ve run in and don’t get build up. I think if you already know that your particular body chemistry makes those things an issue for you, you might need to use something in addition or instead of.

Hmmm. I am definitely intrigued. I may need to try this at some point, while still using my usual detergent on the cloth diapers, and perhaps my (raunchy) workout clothes–maybe with some BacOut or something on my shirts, at least.

Thanks for the information!

 

[Xantippe]

We don’t water our grass either. If it dies, we don’t have to mow.

My husband would love to do that, but in our area we have these odd soil conditions where if you don’t keep the house foundation watered, you’ll get spectacular foundation problems.

Theoretically, you could just water the foundation, but it’s a big risk to take.

 

[midori]

Hmmm. I am definitely intrigued. I may need to try this at some point, while still using my usual detergent on the cloth diapers, and perhaps my (raunchy) workout clothes–maybe with some BacOut or something on my shirts, at least.

Thanks for the information!

I didn’t have any problems using Roma Detergent, the cheap Hispanic brand at the grocery store, on cloth diapers and diaper covers. It had pretty minimal additives. Occasionally, I had a musty smell in my diaper load. Sometimes it came from packing the load too tightly. Other times, I had no clue what had happened, but I found I could solve things with some extra baking soda added to the beginning of the wash, and some vinegar added to the rinse. After a short period of time, things were back to normal and I didn’t need to do any more additives. Roma never gave me sparkling whites like more expensive brands, but I never had any problems with cloth diapers.

 

[Xantippe]

I buy separate cloth diaper detergent. This type of detergent would build up in cloth diapers, even all cotton ones (I mostly use cotton prefolds.) The cheapest CD detergent I’ve found that works for our type of water is the BumGenius brand in the big bag on Amazon.

Aha!

So the frugal advice to make your detergent is not totally compatible with the frugal advice to cloth diaper.

Interesting!

 

[UbiCaritas]

Something that occurred to me as I made out this week’s grocery list is that frugal living is often nearly incompatible with picky eating. This is more easily dismissed in a child than in an adult.

DH, for example, is one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. It’s complicated by the fact that he’s chronically underweight: he can live on the most amazing assortment of junk food, and never gain an ounce.

Among his “rules” are:

–No tomato sauce, unless it’s on pizza, and the pizza can’t be homemade, it has to be takeout or a specific brand.
–He’ll put up with chicken once a week. No matter how I cook it–and most people think I am a very good cook–he says chicken is “dry and tasteless.” It can be falling off the bone and this still applies.
–He’ll eat a beans/legumes-based dish also perhaps once a week.
–He will not eat the same thing for dinner, unless it’s pizza, for two nights in a row, or even twice in the same week.
–Pasta has to be a certain shape, and not spaghetti, linguine, fettucine, or other long shapes.
–No meat sauce (see the tomato thing)
–No homemade bread or pizza crusts; they’re either “too chewy” or just “not the right texture.” (I should add that again, my homemade bread is considered pretty darn good by people who know what they’re talking about.)
–Potato soup is okay. No other soup is, however, except tomato soup, which is okay maybe once a month, and that only to dip a grilled cheese sandwich into.
–No “gooey” cheeses. Parmesian, mozzarella (if it’s not store brand), cheddar and swiss are okay. Cream cheese, ricotta, cottage cheese, etc are not.
–Ham is okay once in a while. Turkey is, like chicken, “dry and tasteless.” Ditto pork, except pork ribs.
–Potatoes, if mashed or au gratin, are okay. Roasted, baked, or boiled, no. Sweet potatoes are not okay, and neither is any kind of squash.
–Fruit is okay, but has to be cut into bite-sized pieces first or he’ll get full after he has a few bites because it “takes too long” to eat it otherwise.
–No leftovers.

This has probably been the biggest source of stress in our marriage, to be honest. (And yes, I realize how lucky we are that that’s the case.) I lived very frugally indeed both as a college student and as a single person. We dated long-distance, so when we saw each other, we usually either ate out or ate something quick at one or the other apartment–peanut butter, for example. As a result, this kind of thing never came up in our premarital stuff, and was a nasty surprise when we got married and started living together. We’d discussed a budget, and I’d happily (and honestly) assured him that we could easily live on $50-$60 in groceries every week (I was spending $30-$40 at the time), but that was based on being able to eat leftovers and “recycle,” say, a roasted chicken into salads, soups and the like.

We spend more on food than I like, but he has to eat something. We’re in pretty much the same menu rut every week because I’ve found about 7-10 dinner meals which aren’t exorbitant and which he will eat. I worry sometimes about having any kids with similar pickiness, especially as I already have to often make two dinners–one healthy one for me (soup or salad), and one for him and DD. The best option I can think of for dealing with that is teaching the kids that they eat what’s in front of them or go hungry, barring actual diagnosed sensory issues.

When I read frugal living blogs and advice, I find it a bit frustrating, because I suspect we could cut our grocery bills far, far lower if he’d just try eating some other things, but that’s not a battle I’m going to win. shrug

Eh, you do what you can with what you have to work with. I’ll cut corners where I can, but it seems that food (aside from the obvious “don’t eat filet mignon every night”) isn’t really one of them.

 

[Xantippe]

Something that occurred to me as I made out this week’s grocery list is that frugal living is often nearly incompatible with picky eating. This is more easily dismissed in a child than in an adult.

DH, for example, is one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. It’s complicated by the fact that he’s chronically underweight: he can live on the most amazing assortment of junk food, and never gain an ounce.

Among his “rules” are:

–No tomato sauce, unless it’s on pizza, and the pizza can’t be homemade, it has to be takeout or a specific brand.
–He’ll put up with chicken once a week. No matter how I cook it–and most people think I am a very good cook–he says chicken is “dry and tasteless.” It can be falling off the bone and this still applies.
–He’ll eat a beans/legumes-based dish also perhaps once a week.
–He will not eat the same thing for dinner, unless it’s pizza, for two nights in a row, or even twice in the same week.
–Pasta has to be a certain shape, and not spaghetti, linguine, fettucine, or other long shapes.
–No meat sauce (see the tomato thing)
–No homemade bread or pizza crusts; they’re either “too chewy” or just “not the right texture.” (I should add that again, my homemade bread is considered pretty darn good by people who know what they’re talking about.)
–Potato soup is okay. No other soup is, however, except tomato soup, which is okay maybe once a month, and that only to dip a grilled cheese sandwich into.
–No “gooey” cheeses. Parmesian, mozzarella (if it’s not store brand), cheddar and swiss are okay. Cream cheese, ricotta, cottage cheese, etc are not.
–Ham is okay once in a while. Turkey is, like chicken, “dry and tasteless.” Ditto pork, except pork ribs.
–Potatoes, if mashed or au gratin, are okay. Roasted, baked, or boiled, no. Sweet potatoes are not okay, and neither is any kind of squash.
–Fruit is okay, but has to be cut into bite-sized pieces first or he’ll get full after he has a few bites because it “takes too long” to eat it otherwise.
–No leftovers.

This has probably been the biggest source of stress in our marriage, to be honest. (And yes, I realize how lucky we are that that’s the case.) I lived very frugally indeed both as a college student and as a single person. We dated long-distance, so when we saw each other, we usually either ate out or ate something quick at one or the other apartment–peanut butter, for example. As a result, this kind of thing never came up in our premarital stuff, and was a nasty surprise when we got married and started living together. We’d discussed a budget, and I’d happily (and honestly) assured him that we could easily live on $50-$60 in groceries every week (I was spending $30-$40 at the time), but that was based on being able to eat leftovers and “recycle,” say, a roasted chicken into salads, soups and the like.

We spend more on food than I like, but he has to eat something. We’re in pretty much the same menu rut every week because I’ve found about 7-10 dinner meals which aren’t exorbitant and which he will eat. I worry sometimes about having any kids with similar pickiness, especially as I already have to often make two dinners–one healthy one for me (soup or salad), and one for him and DD. The best option I can think of for dealing with that is teaching the kids that they eat what’s in front of them or go hungry, barring actual diagnosed sensory issues.

When I read frugal living blogs and advice, I find it a bit frustrating, because I suspect we could cut our grocery bills far, far lower if he’d just try eating some other things, but that’s not a battle I’m going to win. shrug

Eh, you do what you can with what you have to work with. I’ll cut corners where I can, but it seems that food (aside from the obvious “don’t eat filet mignon every night”) isn’t really one of them.

Bummer.

Unfortunately, I suspect this sort of thing is highly hereditary.

Related: my husband can’t stand the smell of cooking beans.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Bummer.

Unfortunately, I suspect this sort of thing is highly hereditary.

twitches violently

NOT HELPING!

 

[pensmama87]

Aha!

So the frugal advice to make your detergent is not totally compatible with the frugal advice to cloth diaper.

Interesting!

Some people do make their own detergent, and I tried that, but we have hard water so it just didn’t work out. Some people also swear by regular powder Tide.

It is true that the way some people cloth diaper it’s…well, something, but frugal is NOT it (though it’s probably still cheaper than disposables.) Fashion statement, maybe?

I am still definitely saving money over disposables, though.

Oh, and just because I’ve already identified myself as a crazy person, I do elimination communication, too. Maybe this kid will be like my first and basically out of diapers by a year, and that will lessen my laundry by a LOT.

 

[Xantippe]

I know my kids are just going to be more and more expensive as they get older.

Regardless of what anyone’s opinion is of being open to life and equating good Catholics with big families…we are stopping at three.

Financially and psychologically…I’m through having any more kids. Three is plenty.

I would have quoted your whole thing, but I don’t want to run over the character limit. So this is actually in response to your whole post, not just the snippet.

One thing that has been on my mind is that a lot of frugality advice treats mom (and dad) as an unlimited resource. What your post illustrates is that mom is just as limited a resource as money is, and mom’s energy needs to be budgeted just as carefully.

I remember back in my last pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and was on a very strict diet. I eventually realized that every time I ate, I had the next 30-60 minutes to do stuff and then there’s be another hour in screen saver mode before I could eat anything, and then I’d get another 30-60 minutes of being able to be somewhat effective. It was like I was a cheap windup toy. I had to choose my activities in that 30-60 minute window very carefully. That was a very vivid example for me of mom-as-limited-resource.

 

[Xantippe]

twitches violently

NOT HELPING!

Sorry!

Autism spectrum mom here–I believe EVERYTHING is hereditary.

 

[pensmama87]

Something that occurred to me as I made out this week’s grocery list is that frugal living is often nearly incompatible with picky eating. This is more easily dismissed in a child than in an adult.

DH, for example, is one of the pickiest eaters I’ve ever met. It’s complicated by the fact that he’s chronically underweight: he can live on the most amazing assortment of junk food, and never gain an ounce.

Among his “rules” are:

–No tomato sauce, unless it’s on pizza, and the pizza can’t be homemade, it has to be takeout or a specific brand.
–He’ll put up with chicken once a week. No matter how I cook it–and most people think I am a very good cook–he says chicken is “dry and tasteless.” It can be falling off the bone and this still applies.
–He’ll eat a beans/legumes-based dish also perhaps once a week.
–He will not eat the same thing for dinner, unless it’s pizza, for two nights in a row, or even twice in the same week.
–Pasta has to be a certain shape, and not spaghetti, linguine, fettucine, or other long shapes.
–No meat sauce (see the tomato thing)
–No homemade bread or pizza crusts; they’re either “too chewy” or just “not the right texture.” (I should add that again, my homemade bread is considered pretty darn good by people who know what they’re talking about.)
–Potato soup is okay. No other soup is, however, except tomato soup, which is okay maybe once a month, and that only to dip a grilled cheese sandwich into.
–No “gooey” cheeses. Parmesian, mozzarella (if it’s not store brand), cheddar and swiss are okay. Cream cheese, ricotta, cottage cheese, etc are not.
–Ham is okay once in a while. Turkey is, like chicken, “dry and tasteless.” Ditto pork, except pork ribs.
–Potatoes, if mashed or au gratin, are okay. Roasted, baked, or boiled, no. Sweet potatoes are not okay, and neither is any kind of squash.
–Fruit is okay, but has to be cut into bite-sized pieces first or he’ll get full after he has a few bites because it “takes too long” to eat it otherwise.
–No leftovers.

This has probably been the biggest source of stress in our marriage, to be honest. (And yes, I realize how lucky we are that that’s the case.) I lived very frugally indeed both as a college student and as a single person. We dated long-distance, so when we saw each other, we usually either ate out or ate something quick at one or the other apartment–peanut butter, for example. As a result, this kind of thing never came up in our premarital stuff, and was a nasty surprise when we got married and started living together. We’d discussed a budget, and I’d happily (and honestly) assured him that we could easily live on $50-$60 in groceries every week (I was spending $30-$40 at the time), but that was based on being able to eat leftovers and “recycle,” say, a roasted chicken into salads, soups and the like.

We spend more on food than I like, but he has to eat something. We’re in pretty much the same menu rut every week because I’ve found about 7-10 dinner meals which aren’t exorbitant and which he will eat. I worry sometimes about having any kids with similar pickiness, especially as I already have to often make two dinners–one healthy one for me (soup or salad), and one for him and DD. The best option I can think of for dealing with that is teaching the kids that they eat what’s in front of them or go hungry, barring actual diagnosed sensory issues.

When I read frugal living blogs and advice, I find it a bit frustrating, because I suspect we could cut our grocery bills far, far lower if he’d just try eating some other things, but that’s not a battle I’m going to win. shrug

Eh, you do what you can with what you have to work with. I’ll cut corners where I can, but it seems that food (aside from the obvious “don’t eat filet mignon every night”) isn’t really one of them.

Oh my goodness.

I would probably make him starve (or cook all his own food.) But I’m mean.

 

[maryjk]

Something that occurred to me as I made out this week’s grocery list is that frugal living is often nearly incompatible with picky eating. This is more easily dismissed in a child than in an adult.

Picky or even having some food issue.

I have to be gluten free. It isn’t a fad to me, I have Celiac.

Oh, and beans? They are gross. To me, beans and rice is a meal given to someone as punishment. Yuck. And my husband feels the same way. (We love rice)

So, yes, I have a similar problem. Pretty much everything I eat is expensive. Or at least it isn’t cheap. Even spaghetti is pricy, because I need gluten free pasta.

But I will eat leftovers, chicken, turkey, all kinds of potatoes, cheese and any homemade soup. (I don’t eat canned soup, because they aren’t gluten free.)

I can still find ways to cut costs. I order a lot from Amazon. Prices are better there for gluten free stuff. I buy meat that has been marked down. I shop sales and use coupons when they are available. I pack my lunch when I can. Stuff like that.

 

[Xantippe]

True story:

When I was a new mother and my husband and I were living in the very expensive suburbs of DC on an income adequate for one person, not 2.5, I had a brief flowering as a domestic goddess. It ran from roughly 2002-2003. I baked bread in my bread machine! I made dinners in the crockpot almost every day! I was awesome. (We were still broke, but I was awesome.) It all fizzled around the time my baby girl started walking and we moved and it was definitely over a year later, when I got pregnant with middle kid.

Years later, my husband confessed to me that he hadn’t actually liked the crockpotted dinners…

 

[Allegra]

My husband was a very picky eater when we met, but he’s gotten used to real food since then. There are still some things he just doesn’t like, but he’s a lot more open to veggies and food that isn’t cheese.

 

[Allegra]

True story:

When I was a new mother and my husband and I were living in the very expensive suburbs of DC on an income adequate for one person, not 2.5, I had a brief flowering as a domestic goddess. It ran from roughly 2002-2003. I baked bread in my bread machine! I made dinners in the crockpot almost every day! I was awesome. (We were still broke, but I was awesome.) It all fizzled around the time my baby girl started walking and we moved and it was definitely over a year later, when I got pregnant with middle kid.

Years later, my husband confessed to me that he hadn’t actually liked the crockpotted dinners…

Ha! I don’t usually associate crockpots with domestic goddesses anymore. According to a SAHM friend of mine, crockpot meals are for latchkey kids. A REAL MOM grows fresh veggies and herbs on her deck and roasts a duck in homemade orange sauce! And they send their kids to school with homemade cupcakes designed to look like the latest Disney character! (PS- I love crockpot meals!)

 

[pensmama87]

My husband was a very picky eater when we met, but he’s gotten used to real food since then. There are still some things he just doesn’t like, but he’s a lot more open to veggies and food that isn’t cheese.

Actually, when DH and I met, I was the picky eater of the two of us. My OK fruits and vegetables consisted of strawberries, bananas, apples, corn, and lettuce (and potatoes if you’re counting that as a vegetable.) It turns out I liked food, but I had so little exposure to it growing up with a mom who was insanely picky and hated to cook that the idea that I could eat other things was daunting.

DH grew up eating his mom’s “rabbit food” so I’m blessed that he’s thrilled that I will use fat, salt, and sugar, even though we are mostly rice and beans type people (but hey, dress those rice and beans up with shredded chicken, salsa, and a bit of cheese, and it gets tasty, at least if you discover early in adulthood the wonder that is Tex-Mex. )

I know there are such things as allergies and conditions that prohibit eating certain foods and I get that and know that it can be really hard to accommodate those when money is tight. I also know there is an eating disorder that can basically be described as intense pickiness (and I wonder if my mom had that as well as one of my sisters, who will only eat peanut butter and jelly when she comes to visit because even though I make stuff we ate at home growing up, I use the wrong brand so she won’t eat it.) But I do get frustrated with it. I don’t make my kids eat anything, but they do have to try everything on their plates if they want seconds because I’ll be darned if they eat nothing but macaroni and cheese while leaving perfectly good broccoli on their plates (though I got around that one by mixing the broccoli right in. Joke’s on them!)

 

[pianistclare]

Oh my goodness.

I would probably make him starve (or cook all his own food.) But I’m mean.

Me too.
Yikes.

My DH will eat most anything that’s not nailed down.

 

[Sheeniac]

Super frugal people just seem to have a lot of time on their hands. Who exactly has time to make homemade cleaners, a homemade meal, clip all the coupons you need, bargain hunt for EVERYTHING, etc. and have time for idk, a life?
Heck, you don’t have time to take Junior to baseball practice, that’s why it isn’t budgeted.

I travel 100% for work. While I’m single, I have a SO and pets as well as nephews. I’m frugal in some areas and not others. Most of my cleaners are homemade (vinegar and water do quite well for a vast majority of things), I make homemade meals (since i eat out at restaurants during the week) - hint - get a crockpot, I clip coupons (ALL - I send what I don’t use to the military), and do a lot of bargain hunting.

It can be done. I suggest reading some blogs like moneysavingmom and passionatepennypincher. No need to do it all, but it doesn’t take that much time to do.