Is frugality advice realistic?

[Sheeniac]

UbiCaritas -

I’ve seen some crockpot hate on this thread, and truth be told I’m not a serious crockpot cooker because I am a picky eater too. But one thing I MUST share is my recipe for very moist chicken.

Ball up foil (re-used, preferably) into 3 loose balls. Place chicken on top. Cover, cook on low for 4-6 hours, or high 8-10. When done, cut skin at top to remove.

SO MOIST!

I buy pastured chicken which has a tendency to dry out and get tough (due to the fact that they are running around on their little chicken legs all day). This is the exact opposite of tough. Bonus - drain the juice and you have ready made stock after you skim the fat the next day.

I also save the bones and make more stock later on (using vinegar to draw out the calcium) when combined with the other bones in the freezer.

Add some powdered gravy (just add water) and you can douse the chicken with gravy if desired.

Alternately, I will shred it for BBQ pulled chicken sandwiches.
~~
I also cook beef/pork roasts in the crockpot. I have a meat CSA and all the animals are pastured, so have a potential to be tough. These are moist and tender as well.

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All - I think that home cooking is one of the biggest money savers. If you are new to it, don’t feel the need to be perfect. I learned long ago to spend a few extra cents on cut up veggies because otherwise, I would put off cutting them up and end up not using them.
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What is expensive is LABOR (daycare, medical care, restaurants, the plumber, etc) and housing costs.

Agreed. But once you get better at cooking, you may find going out to restaurants to be less than thrilling. There are some dishes I make that I consider to be superior to what I get out.

~~

There are experts who suggest focusing on the bigger strategies to save yourself a lot of money in one fell swoop - such as combining insurance coverage, raising deductibles, negotiating telecom/entertainment packages, etc. I’d suggest the ‘both/and’ approach. For instance, I switched to consumer cellular. Yes, I saved money, but I added my parents to my account. If we split it in 1/2, we’d each save a lot. (As it turned out, I just charged them the extra $20 for the two phones and I paid what I would normally pay.) This approach could save a lot over the year.
~~
I’ve found there are bloggers who fit in more with my philosophy - perhaps people need to shop around more for their frugality advice.

 

[schaeffer]

The freezer, and deep freezer, helped me save tons not by my filling it with sale meats etc, but by keeping me from turning to take out or prepared meals on days I was short on time or energy.

Many meals, it’s just as simple to cook extra as it is to cook for one meal.

I often doubled recipes and froze half. I could have a hot home cooked meal ready in fifteen minutes and save thirty or forty bucks a take out meal would have cost.

Now that I’m single it keeps variety in my diet and money in my pocket. It’s no fun to cook full meals for just myself several days a week. A dry erase board or scratch pad on the freezer door tells me what I have at a glance.

 

[Xantippe]

Agreed. But once you get better at cooking, you may find going out to restaurants to be less than thrilling. There are some dishes I make that I consider to be superior to what I get out.

**I find going out to restaurants exciting because I don’t get to do it very often. Also, I’m not the only voting member of the household, so I don’t always get my pick on those infrequent occasions, so it’s especially piquant when the stars align and I manage to get to go some place I like.

Also, other people’s cooking always tastes better and more interesting than mine. There’s something about cooking food oneself that makes it taste worse–at least for me. Sad, I know!
**

 

[pianistclare]

Xantippe:
I only order things I would never eat at home, or things that no one else beside me like.
I’m Hispanic, so I seldom eat Mexican food (which, in most places is totally false advertising, but that’s another thread) unless they have great tamales which are very time consuming to make and make like, a thousand.
I will go out and order tempura. Love it.
No opportunity to make it at home though. And who wants to fry at home? ick.

But I get that eating out all the time is a huge money drain.
As is the drive through window for soda or iced tea.
My current obsession is Dunkin Donuts coffee. It’s drinkable so I buy it.

 

[pensmama87]

**I only order things I would never eat at home, or things that no one else beside me like. **
I’m Hispanic, so I seldom eat Mexican food (which, in most places is totally false advertising, but that’s another thread) unless they have great tamales which are very time consuming to make and make like, a thousand.
I will go out and order tempura. Love it.
No opportunity to make it at home though. And who wants to fry at home? ick.

But I get that eating out all the time is a huge money drain.
As is the drive through window for soda or iced tea.
My current obsession is Dunkin Donuts coffee. It’s drinkable so I buy it.

Yep, that’s my “strategy” too. I like a lot of the things I make at home and consider myself a decent cook, but no way am I going to pay $8-$10 for something similar to what I can make at home (or more, but dining out for us is rare, casual, or paid for by Groupon).

I remember when I used to work at a fast food place, we had 5-10 customers who would go through the drive thru every single day for a soda. You can drink a can of soda for about 15-25 cents if you buy it on sale. It was $1.45 for a medium drink then (probably more now). I can’t remember the exact number of ounces but even if you drank two cans of soda, it’d be a lot less money. (Not that I’m a huge advocate of soft drinks, but from a financial perspective…it makes no sense.)

Though they did do wonders for our average drive thru times (which are a big deal in fast food service, by the way.)

 

[pianistclare]

Yep, that’s my “strategy” too. I like a lot of the things I make at home and consider myself a decent cook, but no way am I going to pay $8-$10 for something similar to what I can make at home (or more, but dining out for us is rare, casual, or paid for by Groupon).

I remember when I used to work at a fast food place, we had 5-10 customers who would go through the drive thru every single day for a soda. You can drink a can of soda for about 15-25 cents if you buy it on sale. It was $1.45 for a medium drink then (probably more now). I can’t remember the exact number of ounces but even if you drank two cans of soda, it’d be a lot less money. (Not that I’m a huge advocate of soft drinks, but from a financial perspective…it makes no sense.)

Though they did do wonders for our average drive thru times (which are a big deal in fast food service, by the way.)

LOL
Completely off-topic but…I told the kid at the last drive through that if he wanted to make a zillion bucks and also make a name for himself, he should invent a drive through order box that actually worked. We can see a gnat on an astronaut’s behind, but we can’t make a two-way device to order fried rice at Panda Express. I don’t get it. :banghead:

 

[Xantippe]

I remember when I used to work at a fast food place, we had 5-10 customers who would go through the drive thru every single day for a soda. You can drink a can of soda for about 15-25 cents if you buy it on sale. It was $1.45 for a medium drink then (probably more now). I can’t remember the exact number of ounces but even if you drank two cans of soda, it’d be a lot less money. (Not that I’m a huge advocate of soft drinks, but from a financial perspective…it makes no sense.)

I am that drive thru customer, except I often get a HUGE unsweetened ice tea with a bunch of Splendas. I also have a jug of ice tea in the fridge but–and this is very important–the drive thru ice tea comes with massive amounts of ice that I enjoy for the rest of the morning or evening. It’s at least 50% about the ice. (We’re bumping high 90s right now, and it’s usually hotter this time of year–110 is not unusual.)

The other factor is that it’s an excuse for an outing. I can leave husband and big kids at home, stick baby girl in the car seat, drive 15 minutes (!) one way for an ice tea listening to Dave Ramsey or my 80s radio, get ice tea, drive back, and have put a nice dent in what might have otherwise been a long evening at home.

 

[UbiCaritas]

I am that drive thru customer, except I often get a HUGE unsweetened ice tea with a bunch of Splendas. I also have a jug of ice tea in the fridge but–and this is very important–the drive thru ice tea comes with massive amounts of ice that I enjoy for the rest of the morning or evening. It’s at least 50% about the ice. (We’re bumping high 90s right now, and it’s usually hotter this time of year–110 is not unusual.)

The other factor is that it’s an excuse for an outing. I can leave husband and big kids at home, stick baby girl in the car seat, drive 15 minutes (!) one way for an ice tea listening to Dave Ramsey or my 80s radio, get ice tea, drive back, and have put a nice dent in what might have otherwise been a long evening at home.

Wait, so I’m not the only person who will go to the drugstore that’s 10 minutes away rather than the one that’s 5 minutes away, and deliberately take the long way home when it’s been a long day with the prospect of a longer evening ahead?

Re DH: Trust me, all, I’ve considered just letting him fend for himself. However, he’s not doing this to be controlling; he genuinely is convinced that no matter what, those things taste or feel horrible, and so he can’t eat them. He’s not the type to make a person jump through hoops unnecessarily. I suspect that, since his mom catered to this sort of behavior and then he lived on his own for a while and reinforced it further, it’s pretty ingrained at this point. Lastly, there’s the very practical problem that if he eats whatever while I cook for kids and yours truly, kids will be justifiably rather outraged that they have to eat their green beans while Daddy gets chocolate cereal for dinner. That is not a fight I’m willing to have now or ever. Every so often, I gently try introducing some new food or flavors. Some go surprisingly well (vegetarian curry now almost has “favorite” status), others not so much.

And to be fair, if I didn’t have just about the most adventurous palate I’ve ever met, this probably wouldn’t bug me so much. I’ll try any food, and like most of it. Carmelized goat milk cheese? Yum! Pickled fish? Droooool. He’ll try it, but he probably won’t like it, and it’ll make a permanent impression to where he won’t try it again, ever, unless a switch flips in his mind and he decides to give it a go. So, we work with what we have, and compromise as best as we can.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Yep, that’s my “strategy” too. I like a lot of the things I make at home and consider myself a decent cook, but no way am I going to pay $8-$10 for something similar to what I can make at home (or more, but dining out for us is rare, casual, or paid for by Groupon).

I remember when I used to work at a fast food place, we had 5-10 customers who would go through the drive thru every single day for a soda. You can drink a can of soda for about 15-25 cents if you buy it on sale. It was $1.45 for a medium drink then (probably more now). I can’t remember the exact number of ounces but even if you drank two cans of soda, it’d be a lot less money. (Not that I’m a huge advocate of soft drinks, but from a financial perspective…it makes no sense.)

Though they did do wonders for our average drive thru times (which are a big deal in fast food service, by the way.)

Me three! If I pick where I’m eating out, it’s almost always at a good sushi restaurant. Most things I can make better at home, but sushi prep (at least, non-vegetarian sushi) has so much potential to go wrong that I’m not willing to try it. I’ll leave it to the professionals to make tasty, tasty, raw-fishy deliciousness for me.

 

[Xantippe]

Wait, so I’m not the only person who will go to the drugstore that’s 10 minutes away rather than the one that’s 5 minutes away, and deliberately take the long way home when it’s been a long day with the prospect of a longer evening ahead?

Yes. And in our particular case, Baby Girl’s ideas of how best to enjoy an expensive board game set are not compatible with Daddy and the big kids’ idea of how best to enjoy the board game.

 

[pensmama87]

I am that drive thru customer, except I often get a HUGE unsweetened ice tea with a bunch of Splendas. I also have a jug of ice tea in the fridge but–and this is very important–the drive thru ice tea comes with massive amounts of ice that I enjoy for the rest of the morning or evening. It’s at least 50% about the ice. (We’re bumping high 90s right now, and it’s usually hotter this time of year–110 is not unusual.)

The other factor is that it’s an excuse for an outing. I can leave husband and big kids at home, stick baby girl in the car seat, drive 15 minutes (!) one way for an ice tea listening to Dave Ramsey or my 80s radio, get ice tea, drive back, and have put a nice dent in what might have otherwise been a long evening at home.

You know, now that I think about it, a lot of those customers were moms…

I was a silly high schooler and college student, so obviously I didn’t get it.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Yes. And in our particular case, Baby Girl’s ideas of how best to enjoy an expensive board game set are not compatible with Daddy and the big kids’ idea of how best to enjoy the board game.

nods wisely

Much like how DD’s idea of how to enjoy a big video game party, courtesy of DH and several of his brothers, with equipment all over the living room, is not their idea of how one enjoys video game equipment.

(In the interests of fairness, I should mention that these parties generally occur in the afternoon, after they’ve played with DD all morning so I can go shopping/get lunch/etc.)

 

[Xantippe]

You know, now that I think about it, a lot of those customers were moms…

I was a silly high schooler and college student, so obviously I didn’t get it.

Funny!

Ever since we had our third, I’ve LOVED the drive thru. If I could drive thru Baby Tylenol, milk and Gatorade, it would be the best thing ever.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Funny!

Ever since we had our third, I’ve LOVED the drive thru. If I could drive thru Baby Tylenol, milk and Gatorade, it would be the best thing ever.

I have a number of drive thru markets in my area. Not sure if they have baby Tylenol, but they do have milk and Gatorade.

 

[atjar]

My parents and I made sure I had a good education, I went to college and graduate school to have a career, and with the career comes income that doesn’t make me worry about being obsessively frugal. Choices have consequences; had only one child, who is an attorney and which allows me in my mid-50s to have money for myself (and “myself” means charity and helping out others through donations). There is no better investment, and escape from frugality, than a college degree. And I am being frugal with my time; time is money, time is a limited commodity that shouldn’t be frittered away unnecessarily canning foods and saving slivers of soap bars for reuse.
AJ

 

[Xantippe]

My parents and I made sure I had a good education, I went to college and graduate school to have a career, and with the career comes income that doesn’t make me worry about being obsessively frugal. Choices have consequences; had only one child, who is an attorney and which allows me in my mid-50s to have money for myself (and “myself” means charity and helping out others through donations). There is no better investment, and escape from frugality, than a college degree. And I am being frugal with my time; time is money, time is a limited commodity that shouldn’t be frittered away unnecessarily canning foods and saving slivers of soap bars for reuse.
AJ

This thread’s frugalest frugal has a good solid education but is a SAHM of a growing family and has student loans to pay off.

That’s where “obsessively frugal” often comes from these days. In real life, my only friend that makes her own laundry detergent is also a SAHM with substantial student loans.

A median to good income is suddenly much less comfortable when you’ve got $400-$600 going out every month to cover student loans.

I’ll also add that some of the obsessively frugal behavior comes into play when the other spouse is not really financially on board, and the frugal spouse is trying to compensate. (That’s definitely the case with my local friend.)

We have a strong household income and we paid off all of our non-mortgage debt 5 or 6 years ago, so I also don’t feel the need to go nuts. However, there was a day when we were selling birthday gifts, books, jewelry, unused yard equipment and our kids’ less-loved toys from our front porch and on ebay. (A slightly used Little People nativity set or a Disney Peter Pan action figure set are surprisingly valuable on ebay, come to find out.)

 

[Allegra]

. (A slightly used Little People nativity set or a Disney Peter Pan action figure set are surprisingly valuable on ebay, come to find out.)

Have you seen what one of those Little People Nativity sets costs new? They’re ridiculous! And, by the way, I also went to college as did my husband.

 

[pensmama87]

This thread’s frugalest frugal has a good solid education but is a SAHM of a growing family and has student loans to pay off.

That’s where “obsessively frugal” often comes from these days. In real life, my only friend that makes her own laundry detergent is also a SAHM with substantial student loans.

A median to good income is suddenly much less comfortable when you’ve got $400-$600 going out every month to cover student loans.

I’ll also add that some of the obsessively frugal behavior comes into play when the other spouse is not really financially on board, and the frugal spouse is trying to compensate. (That’s definitely the case with my local friend.)

We have a strong household income and we paid off all of our non-mortgage debt 5 or 6 years ago, so I also don’t feel the need to go nuts. However, there was a day when we were selling birthday gifts, books, jewelry, unused yard equipment and our kids’ less-loved toys from our front porch and on ebay. (A slightly used Little People nativity set or a Disney Peter Pan action figure set are surprisingly valuable on ebay, come to find out.)

I will admit that I will probably continue to do some of the things I learned how to do out of necessity even when it’s no longer necessary, simply because I’ve gotten really good at it and the amount of work needed to put in is more than worth the money saved, and then that money can go to “fun things” or put away for kids’ education, etc. I will probably always be uncomfortable paying full retail price for anything when I know I can time something to a sale. There’s some things I am unlikely to forget.

But I probably wouldn’t have learned those things (like making my own laundry detergent) if I hadn’t needed to. And no, I don’t do things that will save only pennies but take a long time to do (which I think I mentioned on this thread before and is actually very common advice on the blogs I frequent.) The idea to find something to do to increase your income is actually very common on those blogs, too. Hence why I was babysitting and will probably go back to that sometime next year.

And I don’t buy bar soap unless it’s a gift for someone else, so no slivers to save.

 

[Allegra]

My parents and I made sure I had a good education, I went to college and graduate school to have a career, and with the career comes income that doesn’t make me worry about being obsessively frugal. Choices have consequences; had only one child, who is an attorney and which allows me in my mid-50s to have money for myself (and “myself” means charity and helping out others through donations). There is no better investment, and escape from frugality, than a college degree. And I am being frugal with my time; time is money, time is a limited commodity that shouldn’t be frittered away unnecessarily canning foods and saving slivers of soap bars for reuse.
AJ

With all due respect, sacrificing the incredible joy, love, and pleasure I get from having my children in my life in order to have “money for myself” so I can waste soap is the most unimaginably extreme form of frugality I’ve ever heard of! I mean, really take a look at that scale for a moment. On one side you’ve got a family, a lifetime of love and memories, siblings for your child, cousins for your grandchildren, holidays and vacations, support when times are hard…and on the other side you’ve got soap and store-bought cans. You see where I’m coming from?

 

[pensmama87]

With all due respect, sacrificing the incredible joy, love, and pleasure I get from having my children in my life in order to have “money for myself” so I can waste soap is the most unimaginably extreme form of frugality I’ve ever heard of! I mean, really take a look at that scale for a moment. On one side you’ve got a family, a lifetime of love and memories, siblings for your child, cousins for your grandchildren, holidays and vacations, support when times are hard…and on the other side you’ve got soap and store-bought cans. You see where I’m coming from?

Right. Thanks, Allegra.

I went to college and graduate school, with a “practical” degree. I got very close many times to being hired in my field, then I was hired in a different-but-closely-enough related field for a few months before the office was shut down by corporate and I haven’t been in full-time work since.

Sometimes I get mad at myself because if I knew even a quarter of the things I do now, even that very brief period of employment could have gotten so super close to being debt free. But I didn’t know diddly and, IMO, squandered that money. I grew up not learning a lot of practical household skills. I am determined that my kids will do better, so that no matter what life throws at them they will hopefully be equipped to handle it.

Other words for “frugal” could include “efficient” and “economical.” Those are generally seen as more positive traits. We are not starving. We live in a house and our vehicles are paid for. They have clean clothes to wear. They will get Christmas presents this year from my husband and I. We just had to save money every month and think ahead rather than cash flow it (or put it on credit cards) in December.

I don’t think of the fact that I have to live this way as some kind of moral failing. In fact, I think it’s taught me a lot about what’s really important and given me a lot of strength I didn’t know I had. If you had told me five years ago the things I do today, I would have thought there was no way I could do those things. Now it’s just my life and despite its challenges I am much more peaceful and joy-filled than I have ever been, even when my material circumstances were a lot better.