I’m going to give you something to think over and pray about, ok?
What is punishment?
In the book of Job, we read:
“Happy is the man whom God reproves! The Almighty’s chastening do not reject.
For he wounds, but he binds up;
he smites, but his hands give healing.” Job 5:17-18
God’s punishment is something we should rejoice in, for as he allows us to go down our path of evil, He puts our lives in ways that motivate us to beg for him. What we must do is push ourselves to not simply depend on Him when we have no other alternative, but to depend on Him at all times.
I’m always heartfully sorry, and I make a 110% effort to not repeat the sin. I’m 16 so it’s hard for me in the world that I live in, I try my best to remove myself from all of the ‘bad stuff’ but it’s rather hard at times.
Do you think God will understand that I’m only human and he’ll be a little more lenient with me since I’m making a very sincere effort to become a better person?
You need to focus more on Him and less on yourself. Remember that we do not have the power to overcome the sin within us. Christ died for our sins, but we must actively seek and apply that grace to our lives so that through it we may be freed of our slavery to sin. The process of overcoming the vices of our heart is long and gradual, but reliance on God does work.
I tell you this to give you hope and to not despair. Do not be hard on yourself, but see your weakness as an oppertunity to glorify God and a chance for you to receive His great mercy which He so longs to give you.
I was just writing out a Lenten reflection for a booklet the Youth Group I volunteer with and I think what I wrote and reflected on may be of some assistance to you.
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man … He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain
green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it oes not cease to bear fruit.
… I the LORD search the mind and try the heart, to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings” Jerimiah 17:5-10
Here God calls us to humility. Humility is not despairing over our weaknesses, it is not fretting that we were not made smarter, taller, shorter or stronger. It is recognizing our utter need and dependence on God. God is the source of our utter being and if we wish to flourish and be fruitful, we must rely on his graces. He is the
water, the spring of eternal life which gives us the grace to overcome our sinful nature, our vices. Through Him we become the fully intended and realized versions of ourselves.
But, if we rely solely on ourselves, if we deny ourselves that wellspring He is offering us, we will not survive and we will not bear good fruit. We will find ourselves growing more and more empty of our resources. In pouring out our hearts together, without first constantly seeking to be filled over and over again with God’s love, we will find our hearts empty, dry and hard, ready to crack if asked to stretch ourselves out in love one more time. But with God, the source of love, we will find our hearts more capable of living out love which is the fulfillment of the commandments.
This isn’t just a warning for us to repent of our ways. It is a message of hope.
Prayer:
Lord, I thank you for the graces You have given me throughout my life and especially today. I apologize for all the times I have cried out for help and yet was too prideful to open my heart to receive it. How often have I relied only on my own strength and merit to get me through difficult times? How often have I criticized myself for not being strong enough to get through an a difficult event on my own? How often have I waited till I was left empty and dry to finally open myself to depend on You only because I saw no other option?
It has been not only my pride but my lack of faith and my feeling that somehow I have to make myself on my own good enough to approach you. Help me to humbly accept the gift of being able to recognize my sins without despairing. Help me to grow in holiness so that I seek your assistance in all I do, in every little thing, not because you have not already given me the gifts to do them, but because my actions will become ever more fruitful the more I rely on You as my strength. Let this Lent show me the right path to true humility. Amen.