Is God punishing me?

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SpiritOf1775

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I don’t know if this is the right forum but I really would like opinions from my fellow Catholics, if it’s not too much to ask.

Lately I feel that I’ve done something to make God dislike me and therefore not hear my prayers or help me.

I pray nightly and repent. The only thing I ask for that could be construed as selfish or for personal gain is a nice girl that I can spend time with.

But, every girl that I met has some terrible problem.

They’re either promiscuous, using drugs or just flat our crazy – like the girl I met who ended up being a Nazi. Literally. She has a tattoo of a swastika – enough proof for me.

My priest said that the right girl will come at the right time because I’ve already explained to him that I don’t feel a calling to the priesthood, so we’ve decided that this isn’t it.

The biggest fear I have more so than going to hell is spending my life alone. I really don’t want that to happen but if that’s what you think it is don’t feel like you’ve got to sugarcoat it, lol.

I’m 20, joining the military and can take anything with a grain of salt.

😛
 
You seriously fear being alone more than going to Hell? You’re not being punished, but you do have your priorities wrong if this is the case. And that’s what God is probably telling you at the moment.

Work on allowing God to fill the hole within you that you think a girl will fill - certainly no-one else, nothing else, can do it.

So take some time, talk to a good counsellor (may be your priest, may not). Try to work out exactly what it is that you need, what it is that you think a girl will give you. For that matter it may be something you feel you need to give to a girl rather than get from her.

Then take those needs to God and ask Him to show you what to do with them. You may find that a girl isn’t the best answer after all.
 
I agree with Lily that the priorities are wrong. Going to Hell should be the worst thing that any human could possibly imagine - to never be with God, total Love. Secondly, God doesn’t punish, He chastises, for a reason. “The Lord loves whom He chastises” from Hebrews 12, I believe. Even is something feels like punishment, it is meant to call us back to God. (IMHO our fires here are a prime example; we need to turn to God. There are always the innocent who suffer too.)

I challenge you to go sit before the Blessed Sacrament to be soaked by the Son! 🙂
 
I agree with the other posters regarding your priorities but I have one other thing to offer. Where are you meeting these girls?? On mySpace?? Make a list of the qualities that you are looking for and then ask yourself if where you are meeting girls are the places that this type of girl would be. You are only 20. Give yourself a break and love God above all and He already provided your soul mate. You haven’t found her. It’s not that He didn’t provide her. All those who didn’t work out proves that she’s out there for you. How do I know?? Because I found mine. And she wasn’t at a cheap party or in an internet meat market. (They didn’t have internet back then, but I still wouldn’t have gone there)

You are in my prayers. Keep God your priority and keep up the prayers and God will guide you to her. God doesn’t punish anyone but we sure do a good job at punishing ourselves…God Bless…teachccd 🙂

P.S. There are some good places on the internet so before I get a slew of negative responses keep in mind the type of sights of which I’m refering to.
 
Lol, I was going to say this also: This appears (to me) to be not about punishment, but about a learning experience?

Just imagine God would send you the right girl now, BEFORE you start doing some serious soul-searching about your priorities in life? Hmmmmm… I think you have some personal issues to resolve FIRST?

Kathrin

(And I’m sending a prayer!) 🙂
 
SpiritOf1775 said:
I don’t know if this is the right forum but I really would like opinions from my fellow Catholics, if it’s not too much to ask.

Lately I feel that I’ve done something to make God dislike me and therefore not hear my prayers or help me.

I pray nightly and repent. The only thing I ask for that could be construed as selfish or for personal gain is a nice girl that I can spend time with.

But, every girl that I met has some terrible problem.

They’re either promiscuous, using drugs or just flat our crazy – like the girl I met who ended up being a Nazi. Literally. She has a tattoo of a swastika – enough proof for me.

My priest said that the right girl will come at the right time because I’ve already explained to him that I don’t feel a calling to the priesthood, so we’ve decided that this isn’t it.

The biggest fear I have more so than going to hell is spending my life alone. I really don’t want that to happen but if that’s what you think it is don’t feel like you’ve got to sugarcoat it, lol.

I’m 20, joining the military and can take anything with a grain of salt.

😛
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Dear brother.
I can tell you two things very clearly and I think you should repeat these to two things to your self:

God does not want you to fear Hell.
God does not want you to fear being alone.

First one first. Do you believe in the redemptive work of Jesus Christ? Do you know Him as your personal Lord and Saviour? If you can say yes, then you have received His Atonement Sacrifice in your place. That is… God let the punishment, which you and I and everyone deserve, and the just wrath, hit His Son instead of letting you carry that. You have humbly received this free Gift through His Grace. Now you have to believe in it and apply it to your life, al right? You cannot add to His Love nor to His Salvation… You have been set FREE TO LIVE.

Secondly. You are young. 20 years old… you are only now reaching the age for serious courtship and you have time in front of you. I would say you have at least 10 years before you might wanna worry the least. Trust… trust in Jesus. Its really about knowing that He will send you the right woman at the right time. For now, you are free do devote your self to Him and when the right woman comes along she will be attracted to your godliness… I kid you not… the most handsome man is a man on his knees.
God will take care of you … get to know Him more … He is an expert on romance. 🙂
God bless …
 
Man, out of all my post some of you chose my statement – “I fear being alone more than hell” to pick at.

I was merely trying to convey to you how much I fear being alone.

But I forgive you for being so quick to pass judgment, we all make mistakes.

God is the reason I want to meet the right woman and someday be married. It’s how I intend to serve Him. Having children that I can raise to be good observant Catholics (something my parents didn’t do, I learned on my own and it was a rough road until I figured it out) is the best way I can serve God because I’m not called to nor am I cut out for religious life.

I just want to have a family, be happy and give God more children for his church. What is so wrong with that?
 
Forget about waiting, just pray and then trust that God will bring the girl of your dreams to you at the right time. You are not alone when you are walking with Christ. Enjoy the life that you have at this moment and take this as an opportunity to learn about yourself and the Lord.
 
SpiritOf1775 said:
My priest said that the right girl will come at the right time because I’ve already explained to him that I don’t feel a calling to the priesthood, so we’ve decided that this isn’t it.
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I think was bad advice from your priest. No doubt he had good intentions and was trying to make you feel better, but he doesn’t have a crystal ball and he doesn’t know the future. It could be that you’ll be single forever–there’s no way of knowing.

Marriage, like the priesthood, is a vocation. Not everyone is called to it. And, like the priesthood, not everyone who thinks that they’re called to it really is. There are people whose vocation is neither marriage nor religious life. You could be one of these. Or maybe not. But there’s a lot of discernment that needs to happen before you know.
 
brother… absolutely nothing is wrong with your desire to marry and raise kids… its absolutely the beautiful. No one is passing jugement on you for that or for your fear.,
I have been thinking that my self as of late; that the greatest form of selfrealisation for modern people is exacly that: loving and being loved; marriage. Its the biggest ideal of our times and the ones who dont find love even though they wish to are the most sad and sorry people I have ever met.
So there is nothing wrong with it… also I dont think it takes a heck of a lot of discernment. most of us are called to married life and its a very natural hope in our hearts.
I remember once telling a friend: “I wanna really serve the Lord along side Mother Teresa in Calcutta”… He said “cool sister… if you really feel like you wanna do this then its simply probably from the Sprit”. He said it so plainly like a child and I looked away… I realised at that moment that I did not at all feel like going to the slums of Calcutta. He made me just ask my self simply: what do you wanna do? and that is often how a life in God is led… by our inner urges… because we walk with the Lord when we have given our lives to him.
I believe therefore that your vocation is marriage… and I dont think your priest was wrong at all… I do believe however that you must pray for peace and patience because the princess might only be with you in a couple of years time. Pray for her 🙂
 
Just because you don’t feel called to the priesthood at this point in time does not mean that you may not be called in the future. You are going into the military, when you return from your time in service you may not be the same person you are today. You will have seen and experienced things that may change your world view. The woman you meet and enjoy talking with today, may be too shallow for the person you may become. After (or during) your military experience you may be called to religious life. You may find that you have been called to the single life, which is also a vocation.

My advice, do not pray to meet someone, instead pray that God grant you the grace to accept His will in your life, whatever that will may be.
 
I (and the others who replied probably also, but I can only speak for myself) was in no way trying to judge you.

Sorry if it sounded that way.

Kathrin
 
SpiritOf1775 said:
But I forgive you for being so quick to pass judgment, we all make mistakes.
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I don’t think they judged you. Your statement about fearing being alone was a bit confusing to me at first.

Nonetheless, by this “misunderstanding” experience, you would learn to find a right person - the nicest person is not the one whom you think nice but the one God thinks she is nice.

Pray about it, when the time comes, she’ll show up.
 
SpiritOf1775 said:
I Lately I feel that I’ve done something to make God dislike me and therefore not hear my prayers or help me.

I pray nightly and repent. The only thing I ask for that could be construed as selfish or for personal gain is a nice girl that I can spend time with.
Click to expand...
God does not have these emotional responses that characterize human beings. He does not “feel bad” or “dislike me” based on what I do or don’t do. He is unchanging and therefore does not have emotion, which implies change. He sees and knows everything I do before I do it, as I do it, after I do it, forgives and loves me. The “feelings” I attribute to God are properly ascribed to myself, as I feel the appropriate guilt and contrition for my sins. The response to such feelings is indeed, as you are doing, nightly prayer and repentence for the sins of the day, and sacramental confession with absolution, penance, reparation, and resolution to amend my conduct.

God does not make ad hoc punishments for sin. Sin carries its own punishment, the nature of the action or omission implies the punishment. If I have immoral sexual habits, part of the punishment inherent in those habits is inability to form mature relationships with others and grave impairment of the ability to form proper relationship with a person of the opposite sex leading to courtship and marriage. My contrition and penance in such a case would be to get spiritual (and psychological if indicated) help with the underlying disorder that is causing the sin, so I can go on to form a proper relationship.
 
I sometimes feel as though maybe God is punishing me for all the wrong I’ve done. But when I get myself together and get a clearer head, I don’t think He does. I think He answers us, just in His own time and own way.

And I know that alot of people say things like I’m going to say, and it doesn’t always help. But I was alone for quite a while. I was in one really bad relationship and then I kept dating guys that weren’t right for me and weren’t good people. It took 3 years. I am finally involved with someone who is great for me. I just think it takes time. And while you’re waiting, it might feel as though you’re going to be alone forever. But I promise, you just need to wait for the right person to come along. And once they do, you’ll know it!
 
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