Is God Willing me to Leave my Husband?

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RICatholic81

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Hi Everyone:

How do I know if it is God’s Will to leave my husband? We are having extreme difficulties after only a short period of time being married (1.5 years). Already we have been “separated” once and are heading towards that way again.

I talked to a priest about the situation once and he said to “get a divorce and pursue allument” Then I talked to another a priest that I trusted and he said “to keep praying” and that marriage is “for better or worse.”

I am trying to seek God’s answer as to what I should do because I know that whatever answer He gives will be the right one. But how do I know what is a message from God and what is not? Is the priest telling me to leave my husband, God telling me to leave my husband? Is my husband’s fighting with me all the time, God’s way of telling me to go. Or is He just trying to bring me closer to Him and keep me praying and trusting?

I don’t know what to do…both my husband and I are very unhappy. He is unhappy, I feel, because he doesn’t have faith and has no interest right now in learning about gaining faith (another thing which I am praying).

Maybe God’s Will can be heard through one of you and your replies. I just feel so unsure about every decision that I make. How do I know what is the right one? Neither decision (to stay or to go) feels good in my heart.

Thanks for your help.
 
retrouvaille.org/

Have you tried this route yet?

Have you prayed for your marriage?
Is the feeling mutual? Believe me, in a sacramental marriage, there is a covenant that supercedes any legal contract of marriage. God promises to be with you when the wine appears to run out like the Marriage feast at Cana. Consider this retreat and the counseling that goes along with it. And keep praying for your spouse and your situation. You are in my prayers as well.

Check out this new website of the US Catholic bishops as well…Here’s the link when there are bumps in the road of marriage.
foryourmarriage.org/interior_template.asp?id=20398767
 
First, some basic questions:
  1. Did you have a Catholic wedding? If not, you’re not married and you have your easy answer.
  2. Did you intend to obey your husband? That means do whatever he says to do, unless doing it is a sin. If not, you are not married.
  3. Did you intend to use birth control? If not, you are not married.
Ok, beyond that, you’ll need to share what the problems are. They are not only with him, and are with both of you.

God bless.
 
chrysostom15 said:
  1. Did you intend to obey your husband? That means do whatever he says to do, unless doing it is a sin. If not, you are not married.
Click to expand...
This is blatantly not true, at least not for Catholics. Wives are not required to obey. We are required to submit IF (and only if) our husband loves us as Christ loves His church. There is a world of difference between blind obedience and Catholic matrimonial submission.
 
chrysostom15 said:
First, some basic questions:
  1. Did you have a Catholic wedding? If not, you’re not married and you have your easy answer.
    Yes, we were married in the Catholic Church
  2. Did you intend to obey your husband? That means do whatever he says to do, unless doing it is a sin. If not, you are not married. I don’t think God obliges me to do whatever my husband tells me to do…that being said I am obedient to my husband and I act unselfishly toward him in all aspects.
  3. Did you intend to use birth control? If not, you are not married. This statement is also not true…Marriages are not made unvalid if someone was using birth control when married…it means that the person was sinning, but it does not make it unvalid…I was making the mistake of using birth control when we got married, but I stopped very soon afterwards and confessed to a priest and have not done it since, so I do not believe that this is an issue, and respectfully, I do think that you may have your facts on a valid marriage wrong.
Ok, beyond that, you’ll need to share what the problems are. They are not only with him, and are with both of you.

God bless.
Click to expand...
 
chrysostom15 said:
  1. Did you intend to use birth control? If not, you are not married.
Click to expand...
Maybe I am reading this wrong, but shouldn’t the “answer” to your question be, “If so, you are not married”? I think it might just be a typo, but wanted to be sure.

I disagree with the last 2 questions of yours, anyway, but wanted clarification on # 3. Thanks.
 
The above posters “if…you are not married” statements sound like a bunch of hooey. Almost reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy. Anyway, if there is any phyiscal, mental, psychological abuse, that is reason enough. If you feel that you would be protecting your mental emotion or physical well being by leaving then by all means leave. If it is a case of “ahhh, i didn’t know marriage was not perfect” well thats a different story.

I agree with both preists, keep praying and if you must leave, then leave.
 
I don’t think we can give you any accurate responses based on what we know of your marriage. Obviously validity comes into play, but we cannot determine that for you. That being said, as others have mentioned, have you taken steps to heal the divisions (aka retroville, counseling). Perhaps you should ask yourself what has changed since your marriage (I’m assuming you were looking forward to spending the rest of your life with your husband at that point). Above all, PRAY. Assuming that you are validly married, God intended marriage to permanent (though it can be oh, so hard!). I really don’t have any other advice, I’m praying for you.

God bless
 
And I would not attend Love and Respect. It is a Protestant program.
 
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