Is Grinding a Sin?

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Flopfoot:
Uh? What is going on here? I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I feel like I’ve either walked into a Puritan convention here, or else ‘Scrupulosity Anonymous’.

Main point I would like to make here is that the OP is asking whether it is a sin or not. Not whether it is a holy thing to do or not. There’s a lot of stuff that is neither holy nor sinful.

True, there’s a good chance that no saint has ever done it. That doesn’t automatically make it sinful.

So the OP says he’d rather not explain it. Maybe because it’s embarrasing or because, regardless of whether it is actually sinful or not, the description may offend some forum users. That doesn’t necessarily make it sinful.

If Jesus or Mary was in the room? This has been explained not to be a valid argument against an action many times on this forum (maybe it should be in a sticky). For example, would you chat to a friend while you are before Jesus at Adoration? No. Does that mean chatting is a sin? No. Similarly with grinding, just because you wouldn’t do it in front of Jesus actually present, doesn’t make it a sin.

Post #9, I think it is, CCC quote. Seems to say grinding is not modesty. But, doesn’t say there that things which aren’t modesty are actually sin. (If there is a bit in the CCC that does say that, can you please post it).

As others have said, even if it is a sin, how could it possibly be mortal if we don’t actually have full knowledge that it is wrong?
However, another question is whether it is even grave matter. Why would you say that it is? A style of dance may mimic a sexual act but from what I’ve seen of grinding it is not a sexual act. That’s the only thing that I think could make it grave - either that, or, as I said in my earlier post, if it is a scandal. Otherwise mimicing and possible temptations doesn’t make something grave (or even necessarily sinful).
I have suffered scrupulosity in the past so that’s one reason why I like to take this tack of trying to explain that things aren’t necessarily sinful… but even without that, I still reckon that we shouldn’t say something is a sin unless we have a clear reason to say that it is (rather than saying, it just doesn’t seem right). By all means, call it not the best action, not recommended, call it a possible temptation to sin, call it maybe a sin, but I don’t think you should speak as if you are sure it is a sin when you are not.
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Flop, interesting argument. Would you feel comfortable seeing your spouse, your daughter or your parents engage in this dance?

In my youth “grinding” meant something a lot more like simulated intercourse with clothes on. This dance style sounds like a more public variation of that.

Does it rise to the level of mutual frottage?
 
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RoBo_Hobo:
I understand after reading this that the vast majority of people here think it is a sin but could someone explain to me the logic of WHY it is a sin, I can see it as a temptation but then again can’t any interaction with the opposite gender be a temptation? True it is to a lesser degree but nonetheless it still could be a temptation to a individual.

What sin is it if it is a sin and what evidence is their that it is a sin?
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Good question. Not sure that I know the answer to that. So far it seems to be based on assumptions. It will be interesting to see the answers to your question.
 
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RoBo_Hobo:
I understand after reading this that the vast majority of people here think it is a sin but could someone explain to me the logic of WHY it is a sin, I can see it as a temptation but then again can’t any interaction with the opposite gender be a temptation? True it is to a lesser degree but nonetheless it still could be a temptation to a individual.

What sin is it if it is a sin
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It is a sin against the 6th commandment- as all lust is. I would say it ordinarily is a mortal sin. It is a blantant use of another person’s body in a self gratifying way. It objectifies them. It is also the sin of scandal.
and what evidence is their that it is a sin?
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Can you imagine Mary and Joseph, who are the best models of chastity and virtue that we have, doing that?
 
Then couldn’t any interaction with the opposite gender be a sin if you have lust like we all do come out inside of us?
 
ok,
maybe I’m wrong, but here is basically what I understand “grinding” to be. I used to go clubbing all the time. usually, the man would stand behind me with his hand on my abdomen. he would place his pelvis against my posterior and procede to torate it in circles while I moved in the oppisate direction to the beat of the music… sometimes, couples would do this face to face, but since i was usually danceing with a guy I did not know, I never did that (looking back, it seems so silly). anyway, the guys pelvis usually wasn’t soft if you understand what Im saying here. how could this be anything but sinful.

now, some people, from what I understand, do these moves without touching eachother. like the guy will have his hand on the girls hip and they will just sort of be swaying with about 6 inches between eachother. if that is the dancing you are refering to, I really don’t see anything wrong with that, but the term “grinding” usually means the touching of certain body parts. that, of course is not to be done outside of marrage, reguardelsss of the intent.
 
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SueKrum:
ok,
maybe I’m wrong, but here is basically what I understand “grinding” to be. I used to go clubbing all the time. usually, the man would stand behind me with his hand on my abdomen. he would place his pelvis against my posterior and procede to torate it in circles while I moved in the oppisate direction to the beat of the music… sometimes, couples would do this face to face, but since i was usually danceing with a guy I did not know, I never did that (looking back, it seems so silly). anyway, the guys pelvis usually wasn’t soft if you understand what Im saying here. how could this be anything but sinful.

now, some people, from what I understand, do these moves without touching eachother. like the guy will have his hand on the girls hip and they will just sort of be swaying with about 6 inches between eachother. if that is the dancing you are refering to, I really don’t see anything wrong with that, but the term “grinding” usually means the touching of certain body parts. that, of course is not to be done outside of marrage, reguardelsss of the intent.
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i agree with this post. if there is touching i dont see how anyone can pretend that it is not sinful. im inclined to think that even with a gap between them it is at the very least inappropriate.
 
im not really sure on this one. i can understand why a lot of adults would classify this as a sin, but i know that people in my class have been dancing like that since sixth or seventh grade, and thats all they see it as, dancing, and dont really think anything sexual about it. i would say that it would depend on the intent of the dancers involved. as another poster said, there are things that aren’t holy but aren’t sinful either. a group of people laying out on the beach in bathing suits (not even bikins or any of that discussion) isnt sinful, yet i can’t picture mary and joseph doing this, and if Jesus appeared i would wish i was dressed in the nicest, neatest clothes i had not a suit
 
These many answers are very interesting, and they’ve got me quite on the fence. Keep em coming!
 
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luvthelight:
im not really sure on this one. i can understand why a lot of adults would classify this as a sin, but i know that people in my class have been dancing like that since sixth or seventh grade, and thats all they see it as, dancing, and dont really think anything sexual about it.
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With all due respect, anyone that believes that there is nothing sexual about grinding (in the full-contact mode described in this thread) is living in fantasy land.

I agree with other posters that dancing per se (including grinding) is not in and of itself intrinsically sinful. It is the intent behind it, the gratifications that happen as a result of it or the scandal it induces in others that cause it to be sinful

Seems to me that if an unmarried couple are “grinding” - whether on the dance floor, in the supermarket, at the movies, during the national anthem, or anywhere else, it seems clearly to be intended to be arousing. It certainly appears to fall outside the bounds of modesty and chaste behavior and therfore would be considered sinful.

Is it mortal? More likely than not, unless someone were truly so naive as to not understand what they are doing. But that seems to be a stretch. Let’s be honest here - “grinding” is nothing but simulated sex.

Now in my day, we did “the bump”. That was more silly than anything else. Now there was a dance. Bring back the bump! 👍
 
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FuzzyBunny116:
Of course, I’m referencing the dancing. If you don’t know what this is…I’d rather not explain it:o . Its quite popular with folks my age these days. Is it sinful?
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If you are considering dancing this way with a young lady, perhaps you should ask her father this question.
 
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