Is 'hating' children a sin? Read?

[Biblelove13]

Ok so hating is probably the wrong word here. I just really don’t have a fondness for kids. I’
m probably the most unfeminine female alive; I have absolutely no maternal instincts. A while ago a neighbor brought their baby by. I pretended to fawn on it, but when she left I was relieved. I just don’t like babies, I don’t know why. I feel unchristian for feeling the way I do, but I can’t help it. (Was it a sin to pretend to like the baby?) Then today, two strange kids came to the house asking to play in the yard. They claimed to live somewhere in the neighborhood, and be someone’s kid. This really got me mad. Not only don’t we know them, but each house in the neighborhood has the same amount yard space.
I didn’t talk to them, my sister did, but she relayed it to me. I’m in a non-English speaking country; I have to go to confession and get my terrible past and almost witchcraft off my chest before it’s too late. I know Jesus died for my sins, and I accept his gift of salvation, however that doesn’t excuse me from un confessed sin. I have repented and begged for forgiveness, but I still deserve hell and that’s where I’m going if I don’t confess – and they want to play in the yard. So is it a sin to feel this way about children? Please help!

 

[kwdayboise]

Dorothy Day said: “I love God as much as the person I love the least.” If love was automatic in everyone the world would not be in the shape it’s in.

You’re clearly on the right path. Confessing your anger and being forgiven is a good start. In the confessional remember who is forgiving you … not the priest but God himself, unreservedly. When you think about God’s love, and that as a being without sense of time or space He’s able to love you as if you are the only person in existence, you may find some of that love reflecting outward in unexpected ways. Be patient with yourself but keep working at it. He is.

 

[PatriceA]

I don’t see a sin in either situation as you’ve described it. You aren’t wanting to cause harm to these children, you just know you don’t particularly want to be around them or have them playing in your yard. That’s not unchristian, that’s knowing your limitations. I’m not particularly fond of being around other people’s children either. Its rare that I connect to other children and I am a mother of a 13 year and very pro-life. I just know myself and what I can and can not handle and I don’t put myself in situations where I’m around young children very much. That’s not something to confess IMO.

 

[R_C]

Here is my humble opinion: something you feel should not be considered a sin in itself.

1862 One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent.

1857 For a *sin *to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

One of the many things that we learn from several treatises on the spiritual life is that we ought not to be disturbed by these feelings, something that St. Ignatius of Loyola calls “holy indifference”. Here is an example: someone tells you something that really upsets you and you feel like insulting the offender since you are really upset. Have you sinned? I would say no…in the Letter to the Ephesians we read:

If you are angry, let it be without sin.

Resist the inclination. The book “The Spiritual Combat” by Fr. Scupoli is a reading that I find very helpful for the devout life. It explains that in order to defeat a vice, one must do the opposite of the disordered inclination.

A while ago a neighbor brought their baby by. I pretended to fawn on it

I think this was very well done, and it is a clear example of how to slowly get over this state of mind which is disordered in that your conscience clearly tells you it is not a Christlike behavior. Love the virtue you want to achieve, despise the vice you want to defeat, and practice little sacrifices and mortifications that are opposite to that which you want to defeat. The two kids want to play in your garden? Let them play, try to sit in the garden while they do so, even play with them!

Here is a scriptural thought on children: while you do not have to be “fond” of them, remember that when the Apostles were upset at the children being noisy around Jesus and perhaps disturbing His teaching and ministry, He kindly turned towards them and said:

Suffer the little children, and forbid them not to come to me: for the kingdom of heaven is for such.

We pray before a crucifix because it reminds us of our beloved Jesus. However, we we ought to see Christ reflected in each and everyone of us, and especially in children.

And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them, and said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

You say that you deserve Hell, and you say this because you are experiencing repentance through the grace of God - please, confess soon about all those matters you mention - but the Holy Spirit, love of the Father and the Son, spoke through the psalmist as follows:

A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit:
a contrite and humbled heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

This are the Words of the Most High:

Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the Lord …] and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I have heard you, declares the Lord.

"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

“Eum non enim veni ut iudicem mundum, sed ut salvificem mundum”

 

[SaintPatrick333]

Ok so hating is probably the wrong word here. I just really don’t have a fondness for kids. I’
m probably the most unfeminine female alive; I have absolutely no maternal instincts. A while ago a neighbor brought their baby by. I pretended to fawn on it, but when she left I was relieved. I just don’t like babies, I don’t know why. I feel unchristian for feeling the way I do, but I can’t help it. (Was it a sin to pretend to like the baby?) Then today, two strange kids came to the house asking to play in the yard. They claimed to live somewhere in the neighborhood, and be someone’s kid. This really got me mad. Not only don’t we know them, but each house in the neighborhood has the same amount yard space.
I didn’t talk to them, my sister did, but she relayed it to me. I’m in a non-English speaking country; I have to go to confession and get my terrible past and almost witchcraft off my chest before it’s too late. I know Jesus died for my sins, and I accept his gift of salvation, however that doesn’t excuse me from un confessed sin. I have repented and begged for forgiveness, but I still deserve hell and that’s where I’m going if I don’t confess – and they want to play in the yard. So is it a sin to feel this way about children? Please help!

For your own peace of mind I would seek out a Priest. Join RCIA and come into the Church. Receive the Lord in the Sacraments and be absolved of your sins. Christ wants you to be the best version of yourself. Through the Church and with Christ guiding you, you can accomplish this. Ask your Priest for direction and he will guide you. Welcome home!

 

[Nabooru]

I personally don’t care much for children myself. It’s not that I hate them or seek their destruction, I’m just not interested in them. And I think rather than trying to force yourself to “love” them, like be crazy about them and try to make yourself want a dozen of your own, is just going to blow up in your face, honestly. We all have people we don’t like, but that doesn’t mean we can’t love them as Christians do. Christian love recognizes the soul in a person, and loves that. It’s a confirmation of the hand of God in their creation. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t ask God to improve our love, but that we shouldn’t hate ourselves because of our personal disinterest in someone or something. You can love without being “in love”.

 

[thomasf]

I’m not a big fan of kids either. I don’t hate them, but aren’t really interested in them either.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

(Was it a sin to pretend to like the baby?)

No! In 99% of possible circumstances you may not express negative feelings toward a baby. That’s why they make words like “precious” and “sweet.” You may use those words as code words even though you may be thinking “ugly as sin” and “colicky.” It is even OK to tell them the baby is beautiful, because to its mother’s eyes, it is.

I didn’t talk to them, my sister did, but she relayed it to me. I’m in a non-English speaking country;

I suggest you find out what the customs are in this country and what this behavior means. Maybe the local priest can help guide you. I don’t know whether it is expected you allow them to play, or not. Maybe it’s some kind of test – you’ll want to know what you have to do to pass.

I have to go to confession and get my terrible past and almost witchcraft off my chest before it’s too late. I know Jesus died for my sins, and I accept his gift of salvation, however that doesn’t excuse me from un confessed sin. I have repented and begged for forgiveness, but I still deserve hell and that’s where I’m going if I don’t confess

None of this is relevant to the issue at hand, as I see it. Your past sins does not somehow make it a sin in the present not to like kids. I don’t see the connection.

– and they want to play in the yard. So is it a sin to feel this way about children? Please help!

It isn’t a sin to feel that way, but once you make your decision how you’re going to handle it I hope you can come to peace with it.

Alan