Is homosexual dating wrong?

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Matthewmatt

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I have a friend ive been trying to help find God and shes doing real good but she is bisexual. She says she has attractions to men and women. Though she is dating a man who she really likes right now. She says though in the past she dated women and it seemed fine to her.

I know the Church’s teaching is that same sex attraction is not a sin except if you act on that attraction like comitting a homosexual action or something in your mind. BUT what is the Church’s teaching on like just relationships? Like would it be sinful to date a person the same sex as you are? Not do anything just dating. I need to know so i can tell her exactly what the Church teaches and also why. So any tips on this would be greatly appreciated.

God Bless
 
Dating is a discernment of marriage so what would be the point of dating someone that you cannot marry. This may seem harsh and I would not put it exactly this way to your friend but I am just giving you the short, logical argument.
 
Matthewmatt said:
I have a friend ive been trying to help find God and shes doing real good but she is bisexual. She says she has attractions to men and women. Though she is dating a man who she really likes right now. She says though in the past she dated women and it seemed fine to her.
I know the Church’s teaching is that same sex attraction is not a sin except if you act on that attraction like comitting a homosexual action or something in your mind. BUT what is the Church’s teaching on like just relationships? Like would it be sinful to date a person the same sex as you are? Not do anything just dating. I need to know so i can tell her exactly what the Church teaches and also why. So any tips on this would be greatly appreciated.

God Bless
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I don’t have a specific source on hand, but there’s something the catechism teaches about avoiding the “near occasion of sin” (for any sort of sin) and it doesn’t help your friend, if she needs to avoid homosexual relations, to date a woman. I know a very few people who “just date” (they happened to be two Muslim couples and one Jewish couple, two of whom are engaged) and only that. Almost all relationships get physical.
 
I don’t know what the Church teaches about this, but putting together what I know from the Church’s documents, I would say that doing so would be acting upon a homosexual inclination and putting one’s self into an occasion of sin. So… it would be a sin.

If anyone else can show me what the Church teaches on this subject, please show me 😃
 
Since i work with the 17-25yo crowd i sometimes wonder if this bi-sexuality thing is legit or a matter of what is “cool” or not. It is not “good enough” to be just gay anymore. Nevermind being straight. In the “whatever sexualty” support group in which stra
ight memembers are supposed to ally…they always seem to realize they are “LBTGQQ…” whatever it is…

Transgendered seems to be on the way out…though there is a new Japeneese word for sexually ambiguous looking on purpose. The hot new thing to be is pan-sexual, to which none of the kids…err adults… can define even though they use it every 5 minutes.

Be supportive. But remind her that all sex outside of marriage is disordered and hurts her in the end.
 
Dating is different than just going out for a night on the town with a friend.
Dating always, always implies the possibility of the pursuit of a romantic
and eventually physical relationship.
I might go out with my friends, but I am not “dating” them,
there is a BIG difference.
Since dating is always for discerning a romantic relationship,
which will eventually get physical (although not as physical as after a marriage),
dating usually involves open-mouth kissing and caressing, and
this is not proper behaviour between two persons of the same sex.
It is an occasion of sin for a person with SSA to “date” another person
of the same sex. Very risky. I would urge her to drop the idea.
Love to you,
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
PRAISE THE ROSARY DAILY
 
While dating does not automatically assume that a marriage will result, dating is more signficant than having dinner and a movie with a same sex coworker for whom there’s no possible attraction.

Dating is a form of courtship and is defined as such – to date for the purpose of discovering suitability as a partner (though not every date results in committment). Since she’s bisexual, and trying to find God, and is dating a man, I don’t see the purpose in continuing to explore what is defined as courtship with a female.

I think it’s problematic for your friend, and can lead to sin. Not to mention that it’s unfair to the woman she dates who might be misled by the “date”, thinking that dating may lead to more intimacy.
 
Matthewmatt said:
I have a friend ive been trying to help find God and shes doing real good but she is bisexual. She says she has attractions to men and women. Though she is dating a man who she really likes right now. She says though in the past she dated women and it seemed fine to her.

I know the Church’s teaching is that same sex attraction is not a sin except if you act on that attraction like committing a homosexual action or something in your mind. BUT what is the Church’s teaching on like just relationships? Like would it be sinful to date a person the same sex as you are? Not do anything just dating. I need to know so i can tell her exactly what the Church teaches and also why. So any tips on this would be greatly appreciated.

God Bless
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It’s not sinful per se, but it’s mostly a waste of time so it’s time that could be far better spent on other things. There’s not really a point in dating if you aren’t trying to find someone to marry. Plus of course there is the fact that it could be an occasion of sin. I would like to note that the only type of intimacy you need to share with/restrict to your spouse is sexual intimacy, thus it is actually fine to seek emotion, intellectual, spiritual and even physical intimacy (although the last is best from your spouse as it can lead… elsewhere)
Oumashta said:
I don’t know what the Church teaches about this, but putting together what I know from the Church’s documents, I would say that doing so would be acting upon a homosexual inclination and putting one’s self into an occasion of sin. So… it would be a sin.

If anyone else can show me what the Church teaches on this subject, please show me 😃
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Actually that isn’t acting on the inclinations, to engage in homosexual acts is to act upon the inclinations.
purplesunshine said:
Since i work with the 17-25yo crowd i sometimes wonder if this bi-sexuality thing is legit or a matter of what is “cool” or not. It is not “good enough” to be just gay anymore. Nevermind being straight. In the “whatever sexualty” support group in which straight memembers are supposed to ally…they always seem to realize they are “LBTGQQ…” whatever it is…

Transgendered seems to be on the way out…though there is a new Japanese word for sexually ambiguous looking on purpose. The hot new thing to be is pan-sexual, to which none of the kids…err adults… can define even though they use it every 5 minutes.

Be supportive. But remind her that all sex outside of marriage is disordered and hurts her in the end.
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Females are far more fluid in terms of sexuality than men, for females the problem is that culture teaches that if you are being emotionally intimate you should get sexual
Jaypeeto4 said:
Dating is different than just going out for a night on the town with a friend.
Dating always, always implies the possibility of the pursuit of a romantic
and eventually physical relationship.
I might go out with my friends, but I am not “dating” them,
there is a BIG difference.
Since dating is always for discerning a romantic relationship,
which will eventually get physical (although not as physical as after a marriage),
dating usually involves open-mouth kissing and caressing, and
this is not proper behaviour between two persons of the same sex.
It is an occasion of sin for a person with SSA to “date” another person
of the same sex. Very risky. I would urge her to drop the idea.
Love to you,
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
PRAISE THE ROSARY DAILY
Click to expand...
Physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are actually two different things, the former is fine and can be entirely chaste while the latter if the person isn’t your spouse it is very not chaste.
 
The Catholic Church opposes gay marriage and the social acceptance of homosexuality and same-sex relationships, but teaches that homosexual persons deserve respect, justice and pastoral care.
americancatholic.org/News/Homosexuality/default.asp

Here is a link to a document by The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal Ratzinger. It is worth the read!
vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19861001_homosexual-persons_en.html

I like what is said in the posts above. . . that what marriage is, and why God created man and woman, must be understood in it’s real context.

We are living in Neo-pagan times, where the gratification of the body and senses is top priority for most; them having lost the understanding of sin; perhaps not even believing in a life hereafter, so living life here for what they can get…etc.
Hope this is of help.
 
Its none of the RCC business who shes dating. God doesn’t care who you love. There is no sin in homosexuality that isn’t in heterosexuality.
 
Matthewmatt said:
I have a friend ive been trying to help find God and shes doing real good but she is bisexual. She says she has attractions to men and women. Though she is dating a man who she really likes right now. She says though in the past she dated women and it seemed fine to her.

I know the Church’s teaching is that same sex attraction is not a sin except if you act on that attraction like comitting a homosexual action or something in your mind. BUT what is the Church’s teaching on like just relationships? Like would it be sinful to date a person the same sex as you are? Not do anything just dating. I need to know so i can tell her exactly what the Church teaches and also why. So any tips on this would be greatly appreciated.

God Bless
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Of course it’s wrong! And if done with full knowledge and consent, mortally so.

*What would you say to me if I asked you if it was OK for me to “date” a Priest or a married man or a ten-year old child without doing anything physical with them? *

Answer this question and you have your answer to yours.
**
PS**
What is not sinful in itself is the involuntary feelings and involuntary attractions that are present in the person, IF they are not consented to or encouraged by that person.

Can you imagine a wife, nun or priest justifying a non-sexual but romantic involvement (outside marriage) and then claiming that it was “just dating”? 🤷

Peace.
 
Bezant said:
While this might be sound advice (I would disagree with you) it’s not required.
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How would you figure it is not required if the question is the morality of homosexual dating - a person cannot marry a person of the since this is the definition of dating then therefore homosexual dating does not fulfill a moral purpose. Excuse me for referring to it as smart and cautioning someone as people may often react better to this than wish to hear the world in terms of black and and white.
 
joanofarc2008 said:
How would you figure it [dating for marriage] is not required if the question is the morality of homosexual dating - a person cannot marry a person of the [same sex] since this is the definition of dating [to discern a spouse] then therefore homosexual dating does not fulfill a moral purpose.
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Joan

Because whether or not you can marry the person you date is completely besides the point. It’s like saying I shouldn’t date my sister, because I can’t marry her anyway.

If we were only permitted to date for the purposes of marriage it would be a sin for heterosexual couples to do otherwise; the Church may discourage us from dating casually or even flippantly but it doesn’t forbid it.
joanofarc2008 said:
Excuse me for referring to it as smart and cautioning someone as people may often react better to this than wish to hear the world in terms of black and and white
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I think you’re well-intentioned in trying to avoid offense, but it’s not really honest to explain it in the way you did as a requirement per se.
 
Bezant said:
Joan

Because whether or not you can marry the person you date is completely besides the point. It’s like saying I shouldn’t date my sister, because I can’t marry her anyway.

If we were only permitted to date for the purposes of marriage it would be a sin for heterosexual couples to do otherwise; the Church may discourage us from dating casually or even flippantly but it doesn’t forbid it.

I think you’re well-intentioned in trying to avoid offense, but it’s not really honest to explain it in the way you did as a requirement per se.
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Not all dates wind up in a wedding. But, by definition, dating is that courtship process in finding a suitable partner. You may date someone once and never want to date them again. But, by this process we find a potential partner.

The prospect of the person becoming a partner, even if it does not happen, is the problem with a woman dating a woman or a man dating another man – even in celibacy. When I go to dinner with a female co-worker, we are not on a date. There is no implicit assumption that this goes anywhere – it’s a dinner.

Besides, doesn’t anyone see this from the point of the “other” woman who may very well think that this is a date and could lead to other dates and more intimacy? And the first woman (bi-sexual) is in a dating relationship with a man while on her pathway back to God. Her pathway back to God is a rejection of bi-sexuality. So, dating the woman is not fair to 1) herself; 2) God; 3) the man she’s dating; and 4) the other woman. I would think that trying to turn from her bi tendencies and the man she is dating and trying to find her pathway back would give her sufficient things to keep her busy.

As my grandmother said, the devil will always find a way to lead you astray if you are not watchful. This temptation to date a woman is just that attempt to take her off course. Or she may not yet be serious or want enough to return to God – she may not be fully committed to having to reject her bisexuality. Either way … it does not sound like a good option.
 
Dakota_Roberts said:
Actually that isn’t acting on the inclinations, to engage in homosexual acts is to act upon the inclinations.
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Homosexual dating **would be **acting upon the inclination. Actions include more than just genital contact. Homosexual actions include flirting and other romantic encounters and poursuits. If someone is “dating” in the romantic sense, it is wrong to do so with a member of the same sex. Whether or not it is gravely sinful is a matter to take to one’s confessor but it is certainly wrong which was the OPs question.
 
No a person should not be “dating” a member of the same gender.
 
To the OP,

I think the answer is mostly coming down on “it’s a sin side.” That seems to be correct, too, since, in their more sober moments, most people do think of dating as being for marriage, in one way or another.

As you’re breaking the bad news, however, it might be appropriate to help your friend explore her possibilities if she ever became a Catholic. The goal would be to avoid giving out the impression that LGBT people within the Church are required to be lonely wretches with nothing to offer the world but quite suffering (over in that corner over there, if you please!) and prayer.

A few ideas for your discussion with your friend: (1) As a matter of fact, most of the gay men I have known (I don’t know about lesbians, I’m afraid) lived with roommates who they were not sexually involved with. This is perfectly acceptable for a Catholic. (2) A bit more adventurous, but not unheard of, is two former same-sex partners living together while refraining from sex. This is also acceptable, although it takes constant spiritual monitoring and care. (3) Those who are lucky enough to have unmarried relatives can live with them.

There are probably a lot of other options out there. Again, as I said, the trick is to keep your friend from panicking about how lonely she would be if she became a Catholic.
 
Corki said:
Homosexual dating **would be **acting upon the inclination. Actions include more than just genital contact. Homosexual actions include flirting and other romantic encounters and poursuits. If someone is “dating” in the romantic sense, it is wrong to do so with a member of the same sex. Whether or not it is gravely sinful is a matter to take to one’s confessor but it is certainly wrong which was the OPs question.
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The inclination is defined by homosexual acts which is sex.

Perhaps I’m letting my study of history colour how I perceive things, I admit I’ve basically gone with a policy of “If it was completely fine in the Middle Ages then if it has been explicitly declared wrong I don’t consider it sin”. People in the Middle Ages loved people of the same sex far more than people do today, a relationship far closer than BFFs, indeed there was much a ceremony that effectively made the person part of the family
chrysostim83 said:
To the OP,

I think the answer is mostly coming down on “it’s a sin side.” That seems to be correct, too, since, in their more sober moments, most people do think of dating as being for marriage, in one way or another.

As you’re breaking the bad news, however, it might be appropriate to help your friend explore her possibilities if she ever became a Catholic. The goal would be to avoid giving out the impression that LGBT people within the Church are required to be lonely wretches with nothing to offer the world but quite suffering (over in that corner over there, if you please!) and prayer.

A few ideas for your discussion with your friend: (1) As a matter of fact, most of the gay men I have known (I don’t know about lesbians, I’m afraid) lived with roommates who they were not sexually involved with. This is perfectly acceptable for a Catholic. (2) A bit more adventurous, but not unheard of, is two former same-sex partners living together while refraining from sex. This is also acceptable, although it takes constant spiritual monitoring and care. (3) Those who are lucky enough to have unmarried relatives can live with them.

There are probably a lot of other options out there. Again, as I said, the trick is to keep your friend from panicking about how lonely she would be if she became a Catholic.
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Well since she is bisexual there is a fair chance she could fall in love with a man. concerning #2 I’d like to point out the necessity of different beds
 
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