Is infidelity more forgivable than divorce?

[abrummel]

If a man and a woman who believe themselves to be devout Catholics practiced from the start of their church marriage “open marriage” are they truly married?
Say the "open " part ends but marital relations end soon after - wife doesn’t want them any more, people tell him she is gay was seen at bars etc - he doesn’t believe it - wants to stay married.
He has affairs - many affairs - but tells women he intends to stay married to his wife. Isn’t using women to satisfy his needs as wrong as divorcing?
His priest (who married them) says hes forgiven every time. That he’s “doing it” to uphold his marriage so God forgives him.
But if his wife is a lesbian, wasn’t she always a lesbian, so was it a marriage at all? And isn’t it still wrong to intend to use women almost like a crutch or a patch for the hole in his marriage.
Is staying married so important that using other people can be forgiven? Wouldn’t it be better to get divorced or annulled and marry a woman who wants only you sexually?
Does being a “good” Catholic require you to stay in any marriage?
Or what about just getting divorced and not remarrying but having sex?
Is the marriage so important that all the other deceit is less wrong? Why would the priest push staying married this way?

 

[Moscati]

That’s a sad situation.

“His priest (who married them) says hes forgiven every time. That he’s “doing it” to uphold his marriage so God forgives him.”

The husband having all those affairs . . . he cannot be absolved of his sins without having a firm purpose of amendment–i.e. he needs to intend not to sin again. God forgives if he repents, not if he continues to sin, no matter what his rationale is for doing so. Men are not animals–they don’t get a free pass because they “have needs”! Of course it’s wrong to use other women like that!

Also, a spouse does not have the right to withhold marital relations indefinitely, like the wife is doing.

Obviously, this is a complex situation. I suppose their planning to have an open marriage might be considered grounds for an annulment. I don’t know. I think the best thing would be for them to figure it out–work on their marriage, learn to love each other well again (or maybe for the first time). That may be what the priest is trying to encourage, albeit in an incorrect and confusing way.

 

[lovemyboys]

IMO, this type of situation is WHY the Church gives annulments. This has “invalid marriage” written all over it.

 

[Phemie]

A marriage entered into with the intention to keep having sex with other people (open marriage) is not valid.