Is is wrong of me to stop praying for my husband?

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erazo

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Sometimes I get so discourge, and want to stop praying for my husband. I see how he has grown in spirit, however he still lacks the love for God …Kinda contradicting but true. He has conformed to prayer and talking to the Lord. Only he tells me he does not want to depend on him. “You should go to the Lord for praise.” So in other words we should not pray that the Lord help us. Although our marriage needs all the prayers it can get, he refuses to pray for our marriage. Believes a marriage should withstand in love alone.

I feel I am loosing my love for my husband, as I only want to continue to draw closer to the Lord. What am I to do? I do not wish bad on him. But is it selfish to only want to love and not be discourage by his ignorance? That now I am thinking about divorce. I have been praying for him since last October, but now I feel I should pray for others?
 
erazo said:
Sometimes I get so discourge, and want to stop praying for my husband. I see how he has grown in spirit, however he still lacks the love for God …Kinda contradicting but true. He has conformed to prayer and talking to the Lord. Only he tells me he does not want to depend on him. “You should go to the Lord for praise.” So in other words we should not pray that the Lord help us. Although our marriage needs all the prayers it can get, he refuses to pray for our marriage. Believes a marriage should withstand in love alone.

I feel I am loosing my love for my husband, as I only want to continue to draw closer to the Lord. What am I to do? I do not wish bad on him. But is it selfish to only want to love and not be discourage by his ignorance? That now I am thinking about divorce. I have been praying for him since last October, but now I feel I should pray for others?
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Hi erazo…when you pray for your husband, what are you seeking from God to do with him? Are you seeking your marriage to get better, or are you seeking for your husband to get closer to God? If you are seeking things for your marriage, and they don’t seem to be happening…are things getting better, or worse, depite your prayers? I think that praying for your husband is a good idea…always good to pray for people, especially those who are falling away. But, if you are considering divorce, I’m led to think that maybe your prayers are not being answered for the change you’re seeking with your marriage? Just seeking clarity, that’s all…
 
erazo said:
Sometimes I get so discourge, and want to stop praying for my husband. I see how he has grown in spirit, however he still lacks the love for God …Kinda contradicting but true. He has conformed to prayer and talking to the Lord. Only he tells me he does not want to depend on him. “You should go to the Lord for praise.” So in other words we should not pray that the Lord help us. Although our marriage needs all the prayers it can get, he refuses to pray for our marriage. Believes a marriage should withstand in love alone.

I feel I am loosing my love for my husband, as I only want to continue to draw closer to the Lord. What am I to do? I do not wish bad on him. But is it selfish to only want to love and not be discourage by his ignorance? That now I am thinking about divorce. I have been praying for him since last October, but now I feel I should pray for others?
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((((Erazo))))

I’m sorry things are so rough for you right now. I do want to point out though that despite you feeling like things haven’t changed at all since last October, you said “I see how he has grown in spirit, however he still lacks the love for God …Kinda contradicting but true. He has conformed to prayer and talking to the Lord.” If I remember correctly, this is definitely an improvement from last year! Praise God!

I know in my case, I’m impatient. :o I want what I want now, and when it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t always make sense to me, because I can’t understand how God allowing it to take more time for my DH to reach the point I hope he’ll reach is better than having him get there right now. This is where trusting in God’s will and plan comes in. It’s not always easy, but we have to. So, I keep praying – and won’t ever stop! I know it can be draining to keep praying when you feel like it’s not “working” but remember, every prayer is heard and answered. I would keep praying for him, and also for yourself, that God will give you the “confidence, persistence, and profound faith” just like he gave St. Monica as she prayed for her husband and son. 😉

Praying for you and your DH now. :hug1:
 
erazo said:
Sometimes I get so discourge, and want to stop praying for my husband. I see how he has grown in spirit, however he still lacks the love for God …Kinda contradicting but true. He has conformed to prayer and talking to the Lord. Only he tells me he does not want to depend on him. “You should go to the Lord for praise.” So in other words we should not pray that the Lord help us. Although our marriage needs all the prayers it can get, he refuses to pray for our marriage. Believes a marriage should withstand in love alone.

I feel I am loosing my love for my husband, as I only want to continue to draw closer to the Lord. What am I to do? I do not wish bad on him. But is it selfish to only want to love and not be discourage by his ignorance? That now I am thinking about divorce. I have been praying for him since last October, but now I feel I should pray for others?
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I feel for you and can totally relate to your discouragement, but don’t stop praying! Prayer is the one thing we have… Everything else is in your husband’s hands and only he can come to God- you can’t push him there.

I relate to you so much! My husband is not even Catholic. He claims to be a Methodist but he is not practicing. He doesn’t pray, read his bible, or anything. In fact he has some very dark views about God. My husband is one of those people who kinda view God as the kid with the ant farm… not sure if that makes much sense to you…

But yes I am very discouraged. I keep praying… but in my heart I often feel that he will never be a Catholic. I hope he at the very least returns to his Methodist roots. It is better to have God a little than not have him at all 😦

I’m raising our son Catholic, and he’s a baby so it hasn’t been a problem… but I really worry about my husband being a bad influence as our son grows up. It’s awful that I think that way, but I do… I love my husband and we have a very happy marriage- but sometimes I get really jealous of the families that go to Church when I see that the husband’s and father’s are there. 😦

All I can do is pray. So keep praying w/ me!!
 
whatevergirl said:
Hi erazo…when you pray for your husband, what are you seeking from God to do with him? Are you seeking your marriage to get better, or are you seeking for your husband to get closer to God? If you are seeking things for your marriage, and they don’t seem to be happening…are things getting better, or worse, depite your prayers? I think that praying for your husband is a good idea…always good to pray for people, especially those who are falling away. But, if you are considering divorce, I’m led to think that maybe your prayers are not being answered for the change you’re seeking with your marriage? Just seeking clarity, that’s all…
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When I pray for my husband, I ask that the Lord touch his heart. That he come to learn the Truth. That he love God as much as he loves himself. I believe that would definately help our marriage. So I can not say that I have prayed for my marriage directly. So he is definately becoming a better person, but just not filling my heart.
 
erazo said:
So he is definitely becoming a better person, but just not filling my heart.
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So - are you praying for him, or for your own needs to be satisfied? 😉

I pray for my mother daily. She is a pro-choice, liberal, atheist. In confession one time I was confessing about being short and impatient with my mother. Father asked me some questions about the situation, and I told him that I pray for her daily for her conversion.

He said something fascinating to me - he said to stop second guessing God and assuming that He hasn’t already answered your prayer. That I may not see the answer now or in my lifetime, but that because God is outside of time and not restricted by time as we are, and that we are always told that our prayers are answered, to stop assuming that the prayer is not answered, and start thanking Him for doing so!! :eek: I never thought of it that way before, and it totally changed how I approach my prayers for her. Yes - I do still pray for her conversion, but not from a position of assuming it has not happened yet or will never happen, but from a position of wanting only the best for her, and knowing that God’s Will be done at some point, and not necessarily to my calendar.

So - something to consider and think about. 🙂

God Bless!

~Liza
 
Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing.

Are you seeing a Priest or Spiritual Director? That is the person to ask about prayer.
 
lizaanne said:
I pray for my mother daily. She is a pro-choice, liberal, atheist. In confession one time I was confessing about being short and impatient with my mother. Father asked me some questions about the situation, and I told him that I pray for her daily for her conversion.

He said something fascinating to me - he said to stop second guessing God and assuming that He hasn’t already answered your prayer. That I may not see the answer now or in my lifetime, but that because God is outside of time and not restricted by time as we are, and that we are always told that our prayers are answered, to stop assuming that the prayer is not answered, and start thanking Him for doing so!! :eek: I never thought of it that way before, and it totally changed how I approach my prayers for her. Yes - I do still pray for her conversion, but not from a position of assuming it has not happened yet or will never happen, but from a position of wanting only the best for her, and knowing that God’s Will be done at some point, and not necessarily to my calendar.

So - something to consider and think about. 🙂

God Bless!

~Liza
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Liza, thank you for sharing this – it’s very encouraging. :hug1:
 
erazo said:
When I pray for my husband, I ask that the Lord touch his heart. That he come to learn the Truth. That he love God as much as he loves himself. I believe that would definately help our marriage. So I can not say that I have prayed for my marriage directly. So he is definately becoming a better person, but just not filling my heart.
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Ok…I see. I’m sorry that things are not good here, in your marriage. Something you are praying…that he loves God as much as himself…we actually should love God more…and frankly, maybe your husband doesn’t love himself all that much, thus the difficulty he has in showing you proper love and attention. Until we love God first, and ourselves fully, we can’t love another–fully. It will always be a stunted kind of love. A guarded kind of love. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers, as well. (((hugs)))
 
Sorry to hear about your husband. My ex was the same way (we got divorced for infedelity so don’t get any ideas just because I said my ex;) . What I learned was that my example is an encouragemnt to my husband. I would try getting him to read the Bible with you. Like a couples devotional or something. Just tell him it is your special time with him and Jesus and that it will bring you closer since you will have something in common to talk about and share. For your encouragement read Isaiah 55:10 & 11. Also Philippians 4: 6-7;)
 
I confess that I don’t know the history of your posts if you have written more about your marriage but going from your post I have to say that your husband is right.

He wants the marriage to withstand all on love alone. He’s right even though he doesn’t know that all love comes from God.

He’s not experiancing it, so it’s up to you to embrace him and show him the love of God.

Love your husband, as close as you can, as God loves him. God loves him regardless of the fact that he doesn’t know how to seek God in everything. God will meet your husband where he is at and do miracles even if they are as small as a grain of sand.

You should fully trust God in helping you love your husband in this Sacrament of Marriage.
 
My dh & I say this every night. I think it would be helpful even if only 1 said it.

A Prayer for Spouses for Each Other
Lord Jesus, grant that I and my spouse may always have a true and understanding love for each other. Grant that we may both be filled with faith and trust. Give us the grace to live with each other in peace and harmony. May we always bear with one another’s weaknesses and grow from each other’s strengths. Help us to forgive one another’s failings and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness, and the spirit of placing the well-being of one another ahead of self.

May the love that brought us together grow and mature with each passing year. Bring us both ever closer to You through our love for each other. Let our love grow to perfection. Amen.

Our primary job as a husband/wife is to help our spouse get to Heaven. Prayer is a powerful tool.

Peace,
Linda
 
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