Robert in SD:
I am Catholic, as are my father and mother. For the sake of keeping peace in my family, I have avoided speaking with my brother about his decision to convert to the LDS faith. His decision was made more than 10 years ago. He knows I don’t approve. I’d like some feedback from LDS and Catholic posters.
Is it now OK to discuss religious differences with my LDS brother?
If you feel ready to do so, any time is a good time. BUT discussing religious differences with a close relative is particularly delicate thing and should be done in a manner which does not create a needless rift in the family.
Keep in mind that within the past ten years your brother may have done things which have solidified his commitment to his decision–married and had kids in the LDS Church for example, accepted a ‘mission’ and or other high ‘callings’. He may even have very few friends outside of the LDS Church by this time. His livelihood or employment may be somewhat dependent upon his commitment to the LDS Church–as for example, if he acquired employment via the LDS Employment Services and/or via contacts with others in the LDS Church. In rather more rare cases, a person might have a boss or supervisor who is LDS and who might penalize a subordinate who apostatised from the LDS Church. (This would technically be both illegal and not very ethical, but proving discrimination based upon religious grounds might be difficult). My point is that your brother MAY have a very developed social network of Mormons which would make any decision to leave the LDS Church very difficult at this juncture.
On the other hand, ten years is also long enough for the ‘newness’ of his adoptive faith to wear thin. For him to become jaded and/or cynical about some aspects of the LDS Church. To develop doubts about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, or other issues. It is best to probe such things gently, since he may not be fully ready to explore any doubts which are growing within him. A really aggressive approach might spur him to become defensive, or to shut you out entirely.
I suspect there are resources available right here at Catholic Answers to help you sort out the best approach to take. Move slowly, and be as good a listener as you are an apologist. Don’t overwhelm your brother with inaccurate information which he can readily see is incorrect or for which he could find refutations readily on an LDS apologetics forum such as FAIR-LDS. Read–
really read–some things which he might suggest about the LDS Church. It is a widespread complaint among adherents of any controversial view that their critics ‘never’ bother to gain accurate information about their views. Try to avoid this as best you can. And always act in love. Make certain your brother understands that you are concerned for him but that you will continue to care about him even if he never leaves Mormonism. Since many cultic groups are much more conditional in extending their love–they will ‘love’ others only so long as they remain faithful to the ‘cause’–this may jar your brother into reflecting more deeply on the nature of his relationship with Mormonism.
