Is it a Mortal Sin when homeschooled teenager consistently refuses to do his schoolwork

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My kids ask a great deal of questions and I make sure to bring up controversial matters, as well ,( I make sure I speak in a manner that is appropriate and in - line with Catholic moral teaching). All of my kids, except the toddler, are always attentive and involved in the conversation.
My husband and I do our best to leave no question that any of our kids pose unanswered, though we may have to ask for some brief time in order to look into things more closely.

THANKS BE TO GOD, on day 2 of the novena, my son finally told me what the matter is!

He said he was thinking about his future and didn’t know what he wanted to be and basically got scared not knowing and “froze”

I told him that no one expects him to know right now and that as long as he keeps his mind and heart open to God’s will and he keeps doing his part, God would show him the way, even if it is a gradual process.

He seemed relieved to hear me say that and I know I am relieved to finally know what was bothering him.

I offered to look up a prayer for students discernment. He said he would like that.

So I would rule out ‘rebellion’ and ‘depression’.

His sudden "freeze’ may be explained by the fact that his older sister will soon be 18 and people have been asking her about her future plans. So I imagine he started thinking about his future and didn’t have an answer for himself.

I’m so thankful to God for this breakthrough.

I will continue my novena to the end of it.

And to the post referring to Seton as having ‘flakey theology,’ that is far from the case.

Their religious education is very rigorous and thorough in teaching the Catholic faith. And they incorporate the beauty of the Faith in almost all of their non-religious courses.

Thank you all again for sharing your views. And especially thanks to all of those who have lifted up my son in their prayers.
 
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It’s pretty hard to misinterpret, being converts in the western US and having no Catholic family it is a cultural lifesaver for us. Seton is quite popular in the midwest and east. Rarely do I see large groups out west use it. There is a conference in cali… I like it’s focus on classical education and the English is incredibly strong. From handwriting to sentence diagramming to incorporating a version of essay writing that will benefit students who wish to go to college. The theology is spot on and incredibly easy to understand. Having a theology degree, I’m throughouly impressed with the orthodoxy and simplistic presentations. The only valid criticisms I have is price. It’s about 2500 a year for my 4 school aged kids. And it is INCREDIBLY structured which I love and need. But others find that a drawback. Theologically, when I compare my children with the youth in our parish I’m astounded. My 8th grader could be an apologist and hold her own on theological concepts with most protestant evangelical adults. And I’ve let her lead discussions with the LDS missionaries who come to our door.
 
Praise God! And how awesome is it that he is really considering his future!
 
Maria7377 said:
THANKS BE TO GOD, on day 2 of the novena, my son finally told me what the matter is!

He said he was thinking about his future and didn’t know what he wanted to be and basically got scared not knowing and “froze”
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Thanks be to God for prayer answered!
 
theorangeandblue said:
I am not a parent but this is a mortal sin since it sounds like he is disobeying you.

Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right

Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise)

So that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth

Ephesians 6:1-3

Honor your father and your mother that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you

Exodus 20:12
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No. What you quote shows that it’s indeed a sin. But a mortal sin?

In most cases I doubt not doing homework is considered a mortal sin by the Church. But please, don’t take my word on it. Instead, ask a priest. Or better yet, ask a lot of priests if not doing homework is considered a mortal sin. Or not obeying one’s parents is considered a mortal sin in most circumstances.
 
halleluiah!

as your son worry aboit his choices you may guide him through events, places, ressources dedicated to orientation.
what are is interests, is skills, his inner motivations?

Does he have a possibility to explore workforce through intership, summer job, discussion with professionals for eg?
 
I think your son may have some difficulties to see him in the future because he is usually in the home in a area direct by a woman, his mother. He cannot identify with your role.

may he can benefit to be more in a work environment or in an area with his father or more men? He may identify much more?

Anyway, yoour teenagers are certainely are able to work more unsupervised than the majority of teenagers, but you should know that letting a teen unsupervised for 5 hours a day of work is really A LOT for them!! You should absolutely, you, your husband or a mentor to take time EVERY DAY with them to be sure that they don’t have questions/topics where they need answers.
And search always if this schedule always fit their needs or need reajustements.

I don’t know how your homeschool works but you should monitor them carefully. You are not their teacher, but a side by side parent who help them. You don’t have all the knowledge, but can learn with them to offer an help.
 
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Hoosier-Daddy said:
From handwriting to sentence diagramming t
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Handwriting is still taught? I’m seriously surprised. I’m 32 and I know how to hand write…but my 22 year old brother certainly does not. Honestly though, the fact that I do know how is useless…its literally a useless skill. It serves no practical purpose. I can type a hundred times faster than any human being could ever write. It doesn’t come up in any career. It doesn’t come up in any practical life situation. It is literally a relic. I am very surprised that students are still taught it. Just curious…

I mean, learning how to chisel a stone tablet would be super cool…but not overly advantageous in day-to-day life.
 
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Clear, legible handwriting is like good table manners, it never goes out of style.
 
I am not sure that doing his homework would be a Mortal Sin.
Displeasing his mother and father might by a Mortal Sin in that he has not honored his mother and father.
But not for me to say.
 
Table manners vary from culture to culture, and have certain evolved significantly over time… hand writing will die out. I don’t know anyone under the age of 25 who can hand write a single letter in cursive. It serves no purpose. I can do it. I’m probably the last generation that can… but it’s as practical and valuable as the skill of chiseling stone tablets by hand.

Maintain it as a hobby? Sure. It’s can be an art form.
 
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This probably deserves it’s own topic. Your observation could be said for many subjects, most of all math. There is no reason to teach anything above easy multiplication right? I mean with the entire internet in our pockets and calculator apps built into phones. There is no math question I cannot type in right now.
Seton Teaches handwriting specifically in the early grades. The benefits are many. keyboarding with qwerty is a memorization tool. Writing has suffered greatly in this era. I poke a button I don’t even look at and then I don’t even have to spell it right, or check grammar… but handwriting starting early is essential to other learning. It develops fine motor skills and links word and sentence craftsmanship into writing. This translates into our digital world quite nicely. My wife and I peer review scientific papers and the difference between someone who learned how to write and has learned to master not only handwriting (you are right, it is rarely used in papers) and the English language is stark. Lab notebooks are key and essential in some fields and they need to not only be written well, but they need to be clear, concise, organized and legible.
Many teachers I know lament that handwriting is not taught as much now. Though it still is part of early education. Kindergartners learn to write the letters and their names etc. handwriting flows nicely into sentence structure and flow of communication. Take this post. Not punctuated well, not particular well written. Imagine if i has written it out. Each letter crafted and flowing to the next, each mark on the page written with a purpose and guided and thought of individually. Instead, Im typing this on a phone. while going about my day… It changes my spelling, it predicts text it suggests what I want to say. It fails. and the quality suffers. And the more I use it the less I am able to master the language and the art of writing.
Seton is tech heavy later on. Essays are written in digital form and graded online.

This is anecdotal But my wife was getting her MBA a couple years ago. She was not taught handwriting, or even basic English essay structure in her science heavy schooling. She was struggling with the workload of her scientist job and her MBA workload that required massive amounts of papers to write. On her first paper I gave her a lesson on essay structure from my daughter’s 3rd grade (seton) English curriculum. It became her reference and she went on to write the best essays in the program. Not exact;y handwriting but handwriting is the building block to that skill. And that is what elementary curriculum should do is build foundations and skills. My 8th grader can do a pivot table in excel and yet she has impeccable handwriting. My other kids… well lets just say math is a strong subject for those who struggle with English composition and reading. But there is no reason to teach a kid long division or algebra. But yet we do it so they comprehend the subject.
I pity the generation raised without these skills and am confident that my own children are given an advantage because they have them.
 
That is a well reasoned defence of hand writing. Thank you. …as a teaching / development tool rather than as an end to itself.
 
Thank you! You brought it up and enabled the conversation! Also… handwriting as an end to itself is so annoying! The other day I got a thank you card and I was like “Cant you just text me that?”
LOL
 
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Three insta-reactions:
  1. Praise the Lord (seriously!) that your son has felt safe to talk to you.
  2. Until you told us about #1, I was reminded of Melville’s Bartleby the Scrivener.
  3. Until you told us about #1, I worried for a fleeting moment if his internet had met the Blue Whale Challenge. (This is a very bad thing and can kill someone. I’m not kidding. It’s aimed at vulnerable youngsters and demands silence. Parents, protect your kids.)
Anyhow, praise the Lord (seriously) that he has started talking to you. Tell him that it is normal and natural to be worried about the future. It changes so quickly. Tell him also that God never changes and that Christ has overcome the world.

Although it’s not a Catholic book, I recommend that you and your family read Winter Is Not Forever by Janette Oke. A God-fearing young man dreads turning 18 because he doesn’t know what to do with his life. (It works out just fine. Okayyyyyy … spoiler ahead:
he helps his aging relatives on the farm, and only after someone points it out to him does he realize that God created him to be a farmer.
)

Tell your son also that education comes in stages, just like life. First you memorize. Then you categorize. Then you organize. Then you analyze. Then you predict.

The purpose of a well-rounded education is to teach you how to learn. In a sense, it prepares you for careers that don’t exist yet!

In the meantime, it might help your son to spend a little time as an “intern” in the three major styles of learning. Some kids learn by seeing. Some learn by hearing. Some learn by touching, tactile, by doing.

I hope someone else in this thread can recommend a summer job where you learn by seeing, and another by hearing.

As for doing, that’s easy. Habitat for Humanity or something like it. The book Shop Class as Soulcraft by Matthew B. Crawford might help too. Crawford notes that just because auto assembly mostly uses robots, people assume there are no more jobs in the “trades.” That’s bunk. There is a desperate need for plumbers, auto mechanics, electricians, etc. After all, “if you need your car fixed, the Chinese are no help because they’re in China!”

Help your son find something he loves. Keep an open mind in case it doesn’t necessarily lead to college.
 
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twf said:
Handwriting is still taught? I’m seriously surprised. I’m 32 and I know how to hand write…but my 22 year old brother certainly does not. Honestly though, the fact that I do know how is useless…its literally a useless skill. It serves no practical purpose. I
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Very self assure answer with a cultural bias.

I am of similar age, learned how to handwrite, and the children who are in school now in my country still learn cursive handwritting.

Cursive is more beautifull and on the partical side, it permits to write more without leaving the pen from the paper too much. I consider that people who do not know how to write this way are culturally handicapped.
 
I have 3 grandchildren who were taught cursive inschool and one who taught herself because her cousin knew it. It is not dead. It may be dying
Reading historical documents requires cursive too.
 
Maria7377 said:
I’m a homeschooling mom of seven kids. My oldest son (15 yrs old) recently (3 weeks ago) started refusing to do ANY schoolwork whatsoever. His only explanation is that the work is uninteresting and he "doesn’t feel like it " When I have offered my help, he just sits there and stares at me. He isn’t complaining or yelling, he just sits there for the whole duration of the school day literally doing nothing.
The very odd thing is is that he has gone to Confession on his own( has gone twice since his hiatus from school work) but seems to have no scruples when it comes to disobeying his parents when it comes to this insubordination. We have taken away all privileges from him ( no TV, no computer, no playing, etc). And he still does his chores.
I wanted to know if this persistent act of disobedience qualifies as a Mortal Sin because it is perpetual and he is being a bad example to his younger siblings.
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This is pretty much normal for a 15 YO. He will get tired of school and it´s eventually going to get better. I wouldn´t stress too much about this. There will be times when he is less motivated and I guess that´s just life.

That he goes to Confession by himself is a good thing and nothing that you as a parent should bring up or anything. You shouldn´t really think too much about why he is going or such, that is indeed something that requires privacy.

As for mortal sin or not; it´s not mortal if he doesn´t know it´s mortal (if it´s).
 
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John_Martin said:
"It is my opinion that two plus two equals five; I don’t care what teachers say - they have no authority over me. 2 plus 2 equals five, period, so I have no intention of memorizing your addition tables this week.
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That’s refusal to learn not self-directed learning.

Self-directed learning is the end goal of formal education which is to teach students not only facts but to learn how to learn. Once students are done with formal education, they can direct themselves in learning new material such as learning new skills for a job.
 
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