Is it a mortal sin?

[xmydreamsfadex]

i’m one of many brand new Catholics here so please help me.
i’m a guy, married, and i notice women. i don’t think to myself “wow, i want to do this or that to them if i could” but my eyes do go down and look at, well, their curves. i caught myself staring just a few seconds to long at one today and felt dirty about it. also, yesterday during Mass there was this one girl with huge curves up top with no bra so i couldn’t help but look and quickly just looked down at the floor until i know she passed. are either of these mortal sins? i did not lust after either woman or entertain thoughts in my head about them sexually. please help a 24 year old guy with eyes that wander.

 

[Mark_Robert]

First of all sexuality is good because it is a gift from God. So it’s natural to be strongly attracted to the opposite sex. Don’t equate desire with sin. It becomes sin when we act upon our sexual impulses outside a marriage committed to an openness to life and mutual self-giving love to one another. From what you’re telling me, it seems when your conscience prompted you to look away and not lust, you obeyed. The initial impulse of desire is a natural consequence of original sin. It’s when conscience kicks in and one disobeys the voice of higher reason that sin occurs. So you see a beautiful woman and notice her feminine qualities. Because of our fallen nature, desire will often manifest first before reason has a chance to alert us to the wrongness of that impulse. So we must reign in our unruly desires by the subjugation of God’s grace and higher reason. Adam and Eve had it nice before the fall. Back then, the grace of God and the higher faculty of reason held the lower impulses of the body in complete submission. Not so today. When tempted especially in matters sexual pray to God for the grace to overcome the frailities of human nature.

 

[Eileen_T]

Not a mortal sin, it was not something you consented to. There is another thread about a woman in church being rebuked for what she was wearing. Pity someone didn’t say something to the woman in your church.

Just say a prayer “Jesus, mercy, Mary help!” is a good one, or “Jesus, Mary, I love you, save souls”.

Satan will pick times to distract you, especially when you are in Church. Don’t let him upset you.

 

[xmydreamsfadex]

thanks. i’m just overly-worried that i will commit a mortal sin, not realizing it to be one, and take communion. that’s my worst fear being a new convert. i really don’t wish to do that.

 

[Eileen_T]

Three things are necessary for a sin to be mortal:

1. Serious matter (things listed in this examination);
2. Knowledge or firm belief that the act is seriously wrong prior to committing the act;
3. Full consent of the will.

All three of these conditions must be present simultaneously for a sin to be mortal. This means that if you did not know the act was seriously wrong, then you are not guilty of having committed a mortal sin. If you did not will the act, e.g., if you were forced or if it was in a dream, if you were impaired or emotionally distraught or terrified, etc., you are not guilty of the act committed.

 

[Chancellare]

i’m one of many brand new Catholics here so please help me.
i’m a guy, married, and i notice women. i don’t think to myself “wow, i want to do this or that to them if i could” but my eyes do go down and look at, well, their curves. i caught myself staring just a few seconds to long at one today and felt dirty about it. also, yesterday during Mass there was this one girl with huge curves up top with no bra so i couldn’t help but look and quickly just looked down at the floor until i know she passed. are either of these mortal sins? i did not lust after either woman or entertain thoughts in my head about them sexually. please help a 24 year old guy with eyes that wander.

First of all, you are not alone in this. Most men struggle with temptations every minute of the day, 24/7.

Secondly, sexual attraction is a normal part of male nature but it must only be exercised within the context of marriage.

To address the first, my confessor taught me to treat similar visual temptation like a house fly: you notice it but you swat it off or kick it off right away. There is no sin during the first glance. It’s the second glance that’s going to determine what you are going to do: get aroused ( and commit sin) or use the swat ( no sin).

The second part on marital context should be clearer to you if you read the other threads on the subject.

 

[Jay2]

yesterday during Mass there was this one girl with huge curves up top with no bra so i couldn’t help but look

First of all congratulations on being man enough to admit that you find female attributes attractive.
(This day & age men get clobbered too easily for acknowledging a pretty gal.)

2nd, as long as you don’t dwell on the thought of “Wow, she’s good looking” and let it fester into “I wonder what she’d be like doing…” you’re OK… you’re being a guy attracted to a pretty gal.

Trust me, I’ll bet there were other men that noticed her too…

 

[Ignatius]

i’m one of many brand new Catholics here so please help me.
i’m a guy, married, and i notice women. i don’t think to myself “wow, i want to do this or that to them if i could” but my eyes do go down and look at, well, their curves. i caught myself staring just a few seconds to long at one today and felt dirty about it. also, yesterday during Mass there was this one girl with huge curves up top with no bra so i couldn’t help but look and quickly just looked down at the floor until i know she passed. are either of these mortal sins? i did not lust after either woman or entertain thoughts in my head about them sexually. please help a 24 year old guy with eyes that wander.

Fr. Corapi tell the story of a very old monk and a young novice who is struggling with impure thoughts. The novice asks the elderly monk how long it takes until one overcomes these temptations. The monk answers that, as far as he’s been told, the desire may cease as early as four weeks after one is buried.

You don’t need to worry as long as you pray for strength and are making a reasonable effort to overcome them.

May the Lord watch over you and protect you.
May the Lord cause His face to smile upon you and be gracious to you.
May the lord lift His countenence over you and grant you His peace.

Yours in Christ.

 

[xmydreamsfadex]

well, i might look at a girl and think 'wow, she’s pretty." but i don’t dwell on what she will be like in the bed. that seems silly to me. now people i work with will.
well, thanks for the imput guys.

 

[jemfinch]

thanks. i’m just overly-worried that i will commit a mortal sin, not realizing it to be one

Just to emphasize, that’s impossible to do. In order to be a mortal sin, you must know that it’s a grave matter while you’re committing it.

Jeremy

 

[Ramalama]

Thank you, gentlemen, for the discussion. I wasn’t aware all men struggled with this all the time, like me. At least I can tell you that the effect lasts well into one’s sixties.

I find mentally saying Hail Mary’s to be helpful - if that’s any use to anyone.

 

[Chancellare]

Thank you, gentlemen, for the discussion. I wasn’t aware all men struggled with this all the time, like me. At least I can tell you that the effect lasts well into one’s sixties.

I find mentally saying Hail Mary’s to be helpful - if that’s any use to anyone.

Before going through doctrinal formation, I thought this is a curse.

Now I feel proud like a samurai with the best blade that can cut anybody in half but has the power to turn the other cheek when slapped by a civilian.