Is it a sin for a woman to be mean in self-defense to project toughness?

[3DOCTORS]

Consider this hypothetical scenario of a woman, confronted by a man with obviously evil intentions (which could range from “coming on” obnoxiously all the way to intent to rape or even murder).

Would it be sinful for the woman to use cuss words and so on as well as physical defenses, in order to appear “bad—” and tough to deter the unwanted advances/potential criminal acts? In short, if she can defend herself with whatever physical fighting skills she possesses, what about verbal weaponry? Or should she adopt the attitude of be a lady and be firm but don’t cross the line?

Also, if she’s angry and shocked, and blurts out profanity or threats in the moment, and feels anger toward the bad guy, does she have to go to Confession for these things? If she can be Christlike and forgive in her will, the emotional residue of being treated badly would not be sinful, would it? As long as she doesn’t wallow in it?

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Consider this hypothetical scenario of a woman, confronted by a man with obviously evil intentions (which could range from “coming on” obnoxiously all the way to intent to rape or even murder).

Would it be sinful for the woman to use cuss words and so on as well as physical defenses, in order to appear “bad—” and tough to deter the unwanted advances/potential criminal acts? In short, if she can defend herself with whatever physical fighting skills she possesses, what about verbal weaponry? Or should she adopt the attitude of be a lady and be firm but don’t cross the line?

Why are all unwanted attentions are being lumped togther? In my mind, a guy who’s pestering to buy me a drink is quite a from a guy who’s menacing me in a dark alley. And each warrants a different response.

Example #1

Dude: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna let me freshen your drink?
Luna: Thanks, but no. I’m fine.
Dude: Come on, just one drink.
Luna: I need to be going now, but you have a nice evening.

Example #2

Dude: Do what I tell you and I might let you live, b*tch!
Luna: :nunchuk:

I’d like to stress - a person needs to do whatever a person needs to do when attacked. Man, woman, child, doesn’t matter. Scream, act insane, claw with keys, gouge eyes, kick crotches, do whatever you have to to survive the experience and testify against the animal(s) so they’ll not have the chance do it to anyone else.

If you feel you’ve sinned in defending yourself against a predator, talk with a priest.

Luna

 

[Havard]

Ask any self-defense expert, they’ll tell you tough talk is actually not nearly as intimidating as good posture and real projected confidence. Body language says so much more in these instances.

 

[anp1215]

Why are all unwanted attentions are being lumped togther? In my mind, a guy who’s pestering to buy me a drink is quite a from a guy who’s menacing me in a dark alley. And each warrants a different response.

Example #1

Dude: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna let me freshen your drink?
Luna: Thanks, but no. I’m fine.
Dude: Come on, just one drink.
Luna: I need to be going now, but you have a nice evening.

Example #2

Dude: Do what I tell you and I might let you live, b*tch!
Luna: :nunchuk:

I’d like to stress - a person needs to do whatever a person needs to do when attacked. Man, woman, child, doesn’t matter. Scream, act insane, claw with keys, gouge eyes, kick crotches, do whatever you have to to survive the experience and testify against the animal(s) so they’ll not have the chance do it to anyone else.

If you feel you’ve sinned in defending yourself against a predator, talk with a priest.

Luna

I agree. If someone were to hit on me, my response is something along the lines of “I’m married, but thanks.” If they are crude or disrespectful, “I’m married, leave me alone.” If someone was trying to RAPE me, it would be more along the lines of screaming maniacally with plenty of profanity tossed in. Same if someone was breaking into my house. I think “Get the **** out of my house” while brandishing a weapon is more intimidating than “Go away!”

No sin at all in that.

 

[meltzerboy]

Why are all unwanted attentions are being lumped togther? In my mind, a guy who’s pestering to buy me a drink is quite a from a guy who’s menacing me in a dark alley. And each warrants a different response.

Example #1

Dude: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna let me freshen your drink?
Luna: Thanks, but no. I’m fine.
Dude: Come on, just one drink.
Luna: I need to be going now, but you have a nice evening.

Example #2

Dude: Do what I tell you and I might let you live, b*tch!
Luna: :nunchuk:

I’d like to stress - a person needs to do whatever a person needs to do when attacked. Man, woman, child, doesn’t matter. Scream, act insane, claw with keys, gouge eyes, kick crotches, do whatever you have to to survive the experience and testify against the animal(s) so they’ll not have the chance do it to anyone else.

If you feel you’ve sinned in defending yourself against a predator, talk with a priest.

Luna

Great comment and emoticons! Maybe using the word “animal” crosses the line a little. I bet this attitude comes from your work experience. I’m a man, but in the same profession (I think).

 

[CDB1718]

Is it what God would do? Can you see the Blessed Mother responding that way? It’s either yes or no. If no, it isn’t of God. If it isn’t of God, it is a sin.

How many saints do we have from the time of the prophets through today who are remembered because of their heroic virtue in the face of attack? As Christians, we are not called to be door mats. We also aren’t called to give as you get. We are called to always choose the way of Christ. Anything less is a falling short, or a sin.

 

[Bezant]

Consider this hypothetical scenario of a woman, confronted by a man with obviously evil intentions (which could range from “coming on” obnoxiously all the way to intent to rape or even murder).

Would it be sinful for the woman to use cuss words and so on as well as physical defenses, in order to appear “bad—” and tough to deter the unwanted advances/potential criminal acts? In short, if she can defend herself with whatever physical fighting skills she possesses, what about verbal weaponry? Or should she adopt the attitude of be a lady and be firm but don’t cross the line?

Also, if she’s angry and shocked, and blurts out profanity or threats in the moment, and feels anger toward the bad guy, does she have to go to Confession for these things? If she can be Christlike and forgive in her will, the emotional residue of being treated badly would not be sinful, would it? As long as she doesn’t wallow in it?

You’re being scrupulous.

 

[jpjd]

To answer the question in your title, the answer is No, it would not be a sin. This situation is a form of duress and your culpability for your actions under duress are mitigated.

 

[Tsudeaux_Gnymm]

Consider this hypothetical scenario of a woman, confronted by a man with obviously evil intentions (which could range from “coming on” obnoxiously all the way to intent to rape or even murder).

Would it be sinful for the woman to use cuss words and so on as well as physical defenses, in order to appear “bad—” and tough to deter the unwanted advances/potential criminal acts? In short, if she can defend herself with whatever physical fighting skills she possesses, what about verbal weaponry? Or should she adopt the attitude of be a lady and be firm but don’t cross the line?

Also, if she’s angry and shocked, and blurts out profanity or threats in the moment, and feels anger toward the bad guy, does she have to go to Confession for these things? If she can be Christlike and forgive in her will, the emotional residue of being treated badly would not be sinful, would it? As long as she doesn’t wallow in it?

Words are words. All have purpose. Some words are kind. Others are fighting words. A word isn’t “bad” in itself; it just needs to be used prudently and judiciously.

In most cases, Christians should limit the use of profanity to a dictionary (so they might understand when it is used not merely as expletive).

I am doubtful that a person would be able to use profanity to successfully ward off physical assault, however. It seems to me such words might egg the attacker on.

 

[InspiritCarol]

Is it what God would do? Can you see the Blessed Mother responding that way? It’s either yes or no. If no, it isn’t of God. If it isn’t of God, it is a sin.

How many saints do we have from the time of the prophets through today who are remembered because of their heroic virtue in the face of attack? As Christians, we are not called to be door mats. We also aren’t called to give as you get. We are called to always choose the way of Christ. Anything less is a falling short, or a sin.

WWJD is not Catholic theology.

Jesus is God. We do not have the luxury of that kind of perfection.

If you do anything less than try your hardest to extricate yourself from an attack, you are possibly “putting God to the test”. Now this is very different if you are being called to martyrdom.

Ladies, walk softly and carry a big stick. For me my “big stick” of choice has always been mace. All I had to do was show it to most would-be attackers to help them find their own virtue. Obviously, don’t do this if it is illegal in your state.

Having said that, please never hesitate to bring these things up in confession. Your confessor can help you with possible advice as well. I agree with Bezant though too.

-Pax

 

[CDB1718]

WWJD is not Catholic theology.

Jesus is God. We do not have the luxury of that kind of perfection.

What?!

Catholics don’t have the luxury of responding as God desires? It’s the central formative decision we must make every minute of every day. We must constantly give God our fiat, our yes.

 

[ValPal]

Would it be sinful for the woman to use cuss words and so on as well as physical defenses, in order to appear “bad—” and tough to deter the unwanted advances/potential criminal acts? In short, if she can defend herself with whatever physical fighting skills she possesses, what about verbal weaponry? Or should she adopt the attitude of be a lady and be firm but don’t cross the line?

The exact same justification for physical self-defense can be used for verbal self-defense. I personally believe verbal self-defense is better, because it does no physical harm.

I actually know someone that came up against such a situation. She was in the lady’s room in a bar, and some man came in and threatened to rape her. She told him she was a martial artist and described what she would do to his “manhood,” in flowery terms, if he came any closer. He turned around and walked out.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Ask any self-defense expert, they’ll tell you tough talk is actually not nearly as intimidating as good posture and real projected confidence. Body language says so much more in these instances.

I like this response. Thinking about the whole issue could range from judging the “tough talk” as not sinful under duress - thus worrying about it would be scrupulosity, to the heroic ideas given by another poster. Which kind of goes along with how life situations I or my friends have been in range along a continuum, from less to more threatening.

St. Maria Goretti is often held up as a model, and I have a great respect for her, though modern crime prevention experts might have some perfectly legitimate common sense advice that wasn’t available to St. Maria in her time and culture.

For instance - and here I’m talking more the end of the spectrum of potentially dangerous situations - some men prey on women’s nurturing instincts - or naivete’ - hence the “Do you have the time?” or similar lame ploys.

 

[severus68]

Why are all unwanted attentions are being lumped togther? In my mind, a guy who’s pestering to buy me a drink is quite a from a guy who’s menacing me in a dark alley. And each warrants a different response.

Example #1

Dude: Hey, sexy lady. Wanna let me freshen your drink?
Luna: Thanks, but no. I’m fine.
Dude: Come on, just one drink.
Luna: I need to be going now, but you have a nice evening.

Example #2

Dude: Do what I tell you and I might let you live, b*tch!
Luna: :nunchuk:

I’d like to stress - a person needs to do whatever a person needs to do when attacked. Man, woman, child, doesn’t matter. Scream, act insane, claw with keys, gouge eyes, kick crotches, do whatever you have to to survive the experience and testify against the animal(s) so they’ll not have the chance do it to anyone else.

If you feel you’ve sinned in defending yourself against a predator, talk with a priest.

Luna

Good response although the likening of such monsters is rather insulting to animals, lol.