Is it a sin for me to go to my lesbian best friend's "marriage" celebration?

[Cari]

If only all of us were so willing to be led by, and obedient to, God’s will. You have provided an amazing example for all of us, SDMom.

 

[SDMom]

**
I can’t pray that this doesn’t taint your friendship because that may be part of God’s plan… but I do pray that you stay strong in your faith no matter what happens and always know the peace of our Lord:thumbsup:** For what it’s worth I also think you made the right choice.

Thanks, Malia. I really do appreciate your words and especially your prayers. And you are right about my decision and how it may affect the friendship between me and my best friend. It’s so hard because we have known each other since middle school. My strength and courage comes from God alone, and - as you had mentioned, Malia - only His will can be done with our friendship. He will continue to lead me, I’m sure … my heart and prayers go out to you, too, my dear CAF fellow Mommy …

If only all of us were so willing to be led by, and obedient to, God’s will. You have provided an amazing example for all of us, SDMom.

Thank you, Cari. I can only pray that God will continue to humble me and that we may all be led by the Truth.

May you all be abundantly blessed.

 

[KCT]

And you are right about my decision and how it may affect the friendship between me and my best friend. It’s so hard because we have known each other since middle school.

If you love her even though she’s doing something you disagree with, hopefully she can love you even though you’re doing something she may disagree with.

If it only works one way (you doing what she wants), how great a friendship is it?

 

[kage_ar]

Prayers for you and for your friend.

 

[fix]

To my dear CAF Friends,

I have decided NOT to attend my best friend’s same-sex “marriage” celebration. I wrote her an email tonight (the dinner celebration is tomorrow), and plan to follow-up with a more formal letter.

During mass yesterday, I kneeled, prayed, cried, and asked Jesus for guidance. I didn’t feel like I got any “real” answers during mass, but this morning there was one scripture reading that kept coming back to me – I wasn’t exactly sure where to find it in the Bible, but it was the one about Jesus’ Word dividing brother against brother, sister against sister. Well, guess what? TODAY’s gospel reading contained that EXACT scripture! It’s from Mt 10:34-11:1:

Jesus said to his Apostles:
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth.
I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
For I have come to set
a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
and one’s enemies will be those of his household.

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Whoever finds his life will lose it,
and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Answered prayer.

I found your post most edifying. I am sure the Blessed Mother is sending you many graces.

 

[SDMom]

If you love her even though she’s doing something you disagree with, hopefully she can love you even though you’re doing something she may disagree with.

If it only works one way (you doing what she wants), how great a friendship is it?

Agreed. Friendship works both ways.

I am happy you have come to a decision and will pray for you and your friend.

I know that other’s have said not to judge and that Christ came and hung out with sinners…he certainly did! However look carefully at his actions…you will never see Christ celebrating sin.

It would be hard to “celebrate” a friend deciding to enter a gay marriage, or “celebrate” a decision to get a vascectomy or “celebrate” a decision to try in-vitro fertilization to have a baby.

You are right on here. In my heart, there was no way that I could attend the dinner celebration and “act” happy, or even smile if - say - my friend and her partner kissed and all the dinner attendants were clapping and celebrating along with them. I don’t think I could have handled that, at least not gracefully.

I know this must be so hard, it is so obvious from your posts that you love her so very much. I promise to pray. God bless.

Yes, this is hard. There is a song that comforts me, though … I can’t think of it off the top of my head but one of the lines is “only by grace do I stand …” Only by His grace.

Thank you everyone for your prayers. I really do appreciate them.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Speak the truth in love. Years ago, my best friend at college (a lukewarm Protestant) was marrying a fallen-away Catholic man. The wedding was to take place at the Protestant church. I got emotionally blackmailed into being a bridesmaid, forced to choose between my beliefs and the so-called friendship.

Later, I regretted my decision and went to Confession. The priest was rather stern with me, and I had kind of an emotional meltdown and cried a lot afterward, but I understand more now why he said what he said and realize he didn’t mean to hurt me. I also realize that at that time in my life, I was easily led by others because I didn’t have the confidence, assertiveness, and tact to find ways to stand firm.

One thing that I do today, too, that helps, is in a friendship with someone whose views are radically different on morals, I try to not shove it under a rug until a confrontation crisis over something like a wedding occurs. In other words, I try to lay the groundwork for “I love you dearly as a friend, but we can’t ignore the fact that we differ on some issues and there may come a time when I may have to follow what I believe, etc.”

That marriage ended a few years later, and the friendship between me and the bride has fallen by the wayside too, because I am no longer willing to pretend to share her views on many things, to be someone I am not. However, I pray for her. Prayer is the best help for so many of these complicated issues. God bless you from one who’s “been there.”

 

[Rascalking]

I went to my cousins “wedding”. I don’t think I need to confess anything. They went through a JP, all that jazz.

I think people need to relax a bit. Go and have a good time.

 

[Col40]

I am not sure if this is the right forum to post this. I did post this in the “Ask an Apologist” section, but it takes a few days for that to show up, if the mods decide they want to post it. PLEASE HELP!

My best friend “came out” to me several years ago that she is lesbian. We have been best friends for 18 years. She knows I am a practicing Catholic (her partner is also Catholic!), and knows my stance on the sanctity of marriage. I recently got an invitation from her to a dinner celebration. Her and her partner are getting MARRIED (!!!), as gay/lesbian marriages have been recently legalized here in our state. Is it a sin for me to go to the dinner celebration of this lesbian “marriage?” I’m torn about going because this for sure is not the type of marriage that is right in God’s eyes, but - like I said - we have been best friends for nearly 20 years. HELP!!!

OK–here’s my feelings—as Catholics, this goes against what we believe about marriage. But then, so are civil marriages in general. Would you not go to a secular wedding for hetrosexual friends?

She’s your friend. You need to decide in your heart what’s right. Frankly, I think sitting in judgement of others is a far worse sin than anything else.

 

[Cider]

I am not sure if this is the right forum to post this. I did post this in the “Ask an Apologist” section, but it takes a few days for that to show up, if the mods decide they want to post it. PLEASE HELP!

NINE WAYS OF BEING ACCESSORY TO ANOTHER’S SIN

1. 
   *]By counsel.
   *]By command.
   *]By consent.
   *]By provocation.
   *]By praise or flattery.
   *]By concealment.
   *]By partaking.
   *]By silence.
   *]By defense of the ill done
   
   I think going to the wedding would fall under partaking, silence and defense of the ill. You very presence assumes these. I’m sorry you are in this difficult situation. I don’t see how you can avoid being an accessory of your friends sin if you go to her “wedding”.
   
   sorry didn’t realize until after I posted that this thread is over a year old.

 

[Cider]

Speak the truth in love. Years ago, my best friend at college (a lukewarm Protestant) was marrying a fallen-away Catholic man. The wedding was to take place at the Protestant church. I got emotionally blackmailed into being a bridesmaid, forced to choose between my beliefs and the so-called friendship.

Later, I regretted my decision and went to Confession. The priest was rather stern with me, and I had kind of an emotional meltdown and cried a lot afterward, but I understand more now why he said what he said and realize he didn’t mean to hurt me. I also realize that at that time in my life, I was easily led by others because I didn’t have the confidence, assertiveness, and tact to find ways to stand firm.

One thing that I do today, too, that helps, is in a friendship with someone whose views are radically different on morals, I try to not shove it under a rug until a confrontation crisis over something like a wedding occurs. In other words, I try to lay the groundwork for “I love you dearly as a friend, but we can’t ignore the fact that we differ on some issues and there may come a time when I may have to follow what I believe, etc.”

That marriage ended a few years later, and the friendship between me and the bride has fallen by the wayside too, because I am no longer willing to pretend to share her views on many things, to be someone I am not. However, I pray for her. Prayer is the best help for so many of these complicated issues. God bless you from one who’s “been there.”

why are you bumping a thread that is over a year old? Clearly the OP situation is long past.

 

[Stylites]

If a thief were to celebrate her commitment to thievery in some sort of Mafia/gangland ceremony, would you consider going just because she asked you to?

 

[Stylites]

OK–here’s my feelings—as Catholics, this goes against what we believe about marriage. But then, so are civil marriages in general. Would you not go to a secular wedding for hetrosexual friends?

She’s your friend. You need to decide in your heart what’s right. Frankly, I think sitting in judgement of others is a far worse sin than anything else.

A civil marriage is not intrinsically evil. And there’s a big difference between saying that someone is sinning and saying that what they do is intrinsically evil and wrong. We are not to judge the state of anyone’s soul, but we are obligated to judge actions as right or wrong.

 

[3DOCTORS]

why are you bumping a thread that is over a year old? Clearly the OP situation is long past.

Sorry – I’m trying to learn how to do forums; I’m one of the last on Planet Earth to be new at this. Forgive me.