Is it a sin if I regard this marriage as valid?

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jenlovesyu

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I have a non-Catholic (female) friend who entered a civil marriage with a guy whom I know for sure has been baptized Catholic at some point in his life. He definitely isn’t practicing though and I doubt he ever had the sacraments of Confirmation and the Eucharist but I can’t say for sure (and I don’t know if that is even relevant). Anyway, lately she mentioned that they are trying to have children and as much as I want to be supportive, I don’t want to encourage anything that is sinful. I think the way I responded to her when she mentioned it sounded like I was very supportivve so now I feel a little awkward. Is this marriage invalid? How should I regard this marriage when I speak with my friend?
 
Since he’s a Catholic that married outside the Church, I’m afraid the marriage is invalid and sinful. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong to act toward them with grace and mercy, of course. This is a tough one. I don’t know what I’d do. No, that’s incorrect, I do know what I’d do. I’d ask my priest for advice on how to behave.
 
Valid by law valid enough for you to be concern.

Not necessarily valid by the Church.

Are you friends mainly with the woman? Then stay out of her religion.
 
Since you are in no position to rule on the validity of lack of it of this marriage, assume it’s valid and mind your own business.
 
Lief_Erikson said:
The Church does not consider marriages valid when they involve Catholics marrying outside the Church.
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I would agree with this statement, that is the valid answer. It is a question for you to discuss with your confessor as to how you regard the marriage and if you are commiting a sin.
 
Fascinating that this is even a question!

In what way, and against whom, would you be committing a sin?

Two people have chosen to marry. They have not had a priest perform the marriage. It is a valid and legally binding union according to our government.

“Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.”
Romans 13:1-7

Since this is a marriage between a man and a woman, and if all evidence leads you to believe that they have married for valid reasons and intend it to be a lifelong bond, then you should honor it. One of the ways you can honor their marriage is to bring it before the Lord in prayer, asking Him to place it upon their hearts to have the marriage blessed by the church. If this man is your friend, then you owe it to him to bring this matter before him in a loving manner as well.

I wish you the best.

Jake
 
Berean_Jake said:
Fascinating that this is even a question!

In what way, and against whom, would you be committing a sin?

Two people have chosen to marry. They have not had a priest perform the marriage. It is a valid and legally binding union according to our government.

“Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.”
Romans 13:1-7

Since this is a marriage between a man and a woman, and if all evidence leads you to believe that they have married for valid reasons and intend it to be a lifelong bond, then you should honor it. One of the ways you can honor their marriage is to bring it before the Lord in prayer, asking Him to place it upon their hearts to have the marriage blessed by the church. If this man is your friend, then you owe it to him to bring this matter before him in a loving manner as well.

I wish you the best.

Jake
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“An unjust law is no law at all.”

Pax.
 
JSSebastianoP said:
Discrimination against whom? For what?

And two nonCatholics marrying eachother is considered valid, so I don’t get your point.

Pax.
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This is going way off track. The original writer was confused as to whether or not he had sinned. He was not making a judgement against the wedding party, he was asking about himself. If one has an inner dispute regarding what is sinful, one has only to discuss this with ones confessor.
 
I’m sorry if I was unclear at all but a Catholic has married outside the Church. Is that not against Catholic teaching?

So wouldn’t it be sinful for me to support this marriage?

I’m just going to talk to a priest about this. 🤷
 
grampsc said:
This is going way off track. The original writer was confused as to whether or not he had sinned. He was not making a judgement against the wedding party, he was asking about himself. If one has an inner dispute regarding what is sinful, one has only to discuss this with ones confessor.
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Sorry. 😊

Pax.
 
jenlovesyu said:
I’m sorry if I was unclear at all but a Catholic has married outside the Church. Is that not against Catholic teaching?

So wouldn’t it be sinful for me to support this marriage?

I’m just going to talk to a priest about this. 🤷
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It is not a valid marriage, because it involves a Catholic marrying outside the Church. You are right. As far as how you should respond goes, that’s tough. It probably will involve tact and grace, while at the same time never going so far as to actually support the union. But I don’t know how you had best respond. I agree with you; talking to your priest is the best idea.

Here is the official Church teaching from the US bishops on this and other, related, matters.
usccb.org/laity/marriage/marriagefaqs.shtml
 
OP, I think you should talk to a priest; but, I will say that if your friend’s spouse was baptized but never raised in the church, his culpability is limited. He may not have had the knowledge that he is required to be married in the church. Moreover, if he has never been raised in the church and never looked into it, isn’t that similar to a formal defection? :confused: Something to think about if nothing else. 🤷
 
Jea9 said:
OP, I think you should talk to a priest; but, I will say that if your friend’s spouse was baptized but never raised in the church, his culpability is limited. He may not have had the knowledge that he is required to be married in the church. Moreover, if he has never been raised in the church and never looked into it, isn’t that similar to a formal defection? :confused: Something to think about if nothing else. 🤷
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See, this is why I asked the question in the first place. I have a feeling his culpability would likely be limited because it seems like he never learned the faith. But of course I will settle this with my priest.

Thank you 🙂
 
How would you treat other people who were living together without benefit of marriage? I’m sure you would be friendly and kind to them - so, nothing different here. Be kind and invite them to Mass - heck, RCIA should be starting soon, maybe they will go with you!
 
This marriage is valid and isn’t sinful. Gods law prevails here, not church law!!! Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” There is no mention of a catholic priest or a building.

If you are truly a friend - be one!!! Maybe, like so many before him, he’s fed up with the controlling ways of the catholic church and has left to find something better. He’s allowed to do so.

You don’t have to confess to a priest, you can confess to God himself. John 1:9 NIV
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
 
ditch said:
This marriage is valid and isn’t sinful. Gods law prevails here, not church law!!! Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” There is no mention of a catholic priest or a building.

If you are truly a friend - be one!!! Maybe, like so many before him, he’s fed up with the controlling ways of the catholic church and has left to find something better. He’s allowed to do so.

You don’t have to confess to a priest, you can confess to God himself. John 1:9 NIV
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
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I respect your opinion but I am a die hard Catholic. I believe God instituted the Catholic Church therefore Her laws ARE God’s law. However, that is a topic for another thread.
 
"jenlovesyu:
I respect your opinion but I am a die hard Catholic. I believe God instituted the Catholic Church therefore Her laws ARE God’s law. However, that is a topic for another thread.
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Amen!
ditch said:
This marriage is valid and isn’t sinful. Gods law prevails here, not church law!!! Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” There is no mention of a catholic priest or a building.
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There also is no mention of marriage ;).
ditch said:
If you are truly a friend - be one!!! Maybe, like so many before him, he’s fed up with the controlling ways of the catholic church and has left to find something better. He’s allowed to do so.
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Who was the one talking about God’s law? Hebrews 13:17- “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account.” These “leaders” are in the context clearly religious leaders, for these are the ones that keep watch over our souls. Obedience to the Church is part of God’s law.
ditch said:
You don’t have to confess to a priest, you can confess to God himself. John 1:9 NIV
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
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Where in this verse does it say confess your sins to God alone and not to Him through a priest? In fact, Jesus did not reserve the authority to forgive sins for Himself alone. He gave the authority to give sins to His disciples:
John 20:21-23:
[Jesus] said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”
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You have your personal interpretation that legitimate Christian leaders don’t have the authority to forgive sins, but you’ve unintentionally twisted the meaning of the Bible. Jesus gave His followers the authority to forgive sins. Indeed, James 5:16 confirms this, urging believers to confess sins not to God alone but to each other. And the passage in John I cited shows Jesus giving this authority to His close followers.

Sacred Tradition also, and more explicitly, affirms the Sacrament of Confession. However, I know you don’t acknowledge this. You prefer your human traditions about what the Bible means to our supposed “traditions of men” that have existed since the dawn of Christianity, passed on by Christ Himself to His apostles and from them to the bishops, traditions Scripture commands us repeatedly to uphold (2 Thess. 2:15, 1 Cor. 11:22, Tim. 2:2). I might ask you where in Scripture Sola Scriptura can be found. You won’t find it, because it’s a purely human idea invented in the 16th century, nowhere mentioned in history prior to the Reformation. That completely unfounded idea is what you’re basing your claims on. I strongly recommend learning about the Church the apostles founded rather than one of the ones made in the last few centuries. There are a lot of lies and errors circulating popularly in society. You may be surprised by what you learn. I certainly was.
 
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